He left after he finally cried and accepted he wasn't going to be able to hold in his tears and feelings.

I spent the rest of the night sorta silently crying as I packed up my bags. I didn't even know when I was supposed to be leaving. But for what I had left I wanted to spend the last few weeks or maybe even days with Billie, Mike and Tre.

But after that night... nothing felt the same. Billie always seemed so much paler and on edge then he did before. He didn't make his annoying smart ass comments. Like he didn't even have the effort to piss anyone off. It sucked, it was almost literally as if me, Mike and Tre were all watching Billie just turn into a boy we know he's not. He was always so silent, he smoked and drank more though, avoiding parties even though I begged him to come, his waist began to shrink and the bags under his eyes started to look like bruises.

Recently he hadn't had it easy from his stepdad. I guess everything just sorta threw him into a frenzy and he slipped away and began to loose control. Not looking after himself right. I wanted to spend however long I had left having fun. Partying, sneaking out, smoking and drinking, going to places we knew we shouldn't, cause havocs. I wanted to put my mark in this town before I left. And the graffiti Tre had helped me spray on the walls of this town wasn't enough. But I knew I needed to spend it looking after Billie because it seemed as if he forgot. Or maybe not forgot, just he didn't want to or see the point. It was truly terrifying to see such a cocky smart ass turn into a petrified ghost.

For two straight weeks, we tried to do as much as we could. But Billie wasn't the same. It saddened me more I had to leave him in such a fragile state.

I sat in my room, the bag of frozen peas I had managed to steal from the freezer held against my face, making half my face numb and unable to move it. Like when they inject your gums before they begin pulling your teeth and taking them out.

I looked back at myself in the mirror removing the bag. A bruise was beginning to form over my eye. Who knew she had it in her to smack me? Certainly not me. At least I won't be living with her soon.

But yet an older version. I should've left to go to Willows when I had the chance. I won't have the chance when I move to grandmas.

But... I'm not there yet...?

I still have the chance?

No, I haven't got a phone to tell Willow.

She won't care.

But do I have money to pay for my own coach tickets?

I dropped the bag of peas on my bed as I scrambled off and out of the room. I slowly opened the door to my mom's empty room since she and my dad were downstairs. I made my way to her draws.

I grabbed the pink piggy bank and looked around the room, looking for something to smash it with. If she hears a smash, she'll come up. And if there is money in here. Take it off me... and God knows how harder she may hit for trying to steal her savings. I have to be careful with how I open this bastard.

Looking around the room once more, I couldn't see anything to smash it with. I took off my cardigan and wrapped the piggy bank up in it. Taking a deep breath before throwing it against the wall and squeezing my eyes shut and shielding myself with my arms in case any shards managed to get through and spit at me.

I heard the shatter, it wasn't loud and it wasn't major. But a few shards of pink pottery had fallen out and on to the carpet. I bent down beside it as I unwrapped the cardigan and looked at the money inside.

It looks like there's enough. Maybe even a little more. I picked up all the loose notes and shoved them into my jean pockets, Every single one and then leaving the room to walk back into mine. Leaving the mess on the floor.

I took one last look around my room. It had been completely stripped from how I had personalized it. No posters, they were all packed. No Decorations, they had been too. My pictures? In a box. My letters? In another box. everything was either in a box, a bag or a suitcase. But now everything I needed was in my pockets.

"Hasta la vista motherfucker." I muttered to myself before lifting up the latch and opening my window. I forgot my cardigan was on my bedroom floor, the coldness of the night air causing goosebumps to appear down my skin. I ignored it as my shoe made contact with the pipe. Completely climbing out the window as I slid down and reached the grass floor.

Is this really what I wanna do?

I began to run down the dark streets to the route I knew so well. I knew it better than I knew any other. I turned the corner of the street as I stopped running catching my breath as I leaned on a lamppost. Gasping for air. Man, I really can't run.

After a moment of breathing in, I contemplated going back home and riding out staying with the old hag. Maybe that might've been a safer idea. Or a more reasonable one. But did I really have the option to turn back now? With the stolen money in my pockets and the adrenaline already working through my system.

Finally, I kept running down the streets, the air was damp and the streets were covered in rainwater. Puddles of collected water that the shitty drain systems couldn't seem to fit in.

I won't miss this place.

I got to his door as I knocked loudly, resting my hand next to the door with my other on my knee once again inhaling. Before the door opened and I was greeted with Billie Joe.

But I'll miss you.

"What the fuck are you doing here? It's dark? How did you get here whats going on? What happened to your eye?"

I finally stood up straight and breathed in one more time looking back at his ill face. I didn't have enough breath back to speak yet. So Billies questions kept coming.

"Why the fuck don't you have a jacket or hoodie on? It's freezing. aren't you cold? I'm cold and I have a jumper on, do you want my Jumper?"

"I'm leaving,"

"You're-" His eyes widened immediately. "You're what!?"

"I'm going,"

"Where!?"

"To buy a coach ticket, I'm leaving for Willows,"

"You mean- right now?"

I nodded. "Tonight,"

"How are you gonna-"

He cut himself off as I pulled out a fist full of money notes.

"Where did you get them from?"

"I stole them from my mom, out of her piggy bank. Billie, I don't have much time. The coaches stop coming soon I need to catch the latest one tonight. I need to leave tonight,"

"You're leaving me tonight?"

"Billie I have to go, you knew this. I knew this. We knew this,"

"You can't leave me. How am I even suppose to check you got there okay? You don't have your phone. Echo you can't leave me here. I can't do this without you." His voice was barely audible as it creaked and broke. "Please don't go,"

"Please don't make this harder for me than this already is," I begged lightly.

"Please," And then the tears fell from his eyes. "Don't leave me here, I need you,"

"You can do it without me,"

"I'm scared that I physically can't,"

"Come with me,"

"I don't have the money, even if I did I can't leave, Mike and Tre. I can't leave my mom,"

"But I can't leave you, Billie,"

He paused for a second. "Then why are you?"

"Because," I squeaked out. "I have no other choice. I have to leave you either way. This option is just nicer for me,"

"So this is the end?"

"It doesn't have to be the end until the coach leaves if you come with me,"

"And watch the coach drive away with the only girl I've ever loved on it?"

"For me?"

He looked at me longingly. Thinking. Before he stepped outside and shut the door behind him. I gave him a weak smile as we began to walk together to the coach station.

I needed to make sure I was on the last coach of the night. Before it leaves, I need to be on it.

I felt his cold hand pick mine up as he inter winded his fingers with mine. Squeezing my hand tight as I felt a few more tears drip down my cheeks. This was torture, but what other choice did I have?

"How am I suppose to get over you?" He laughed slightly as we walked. I saw the tears drip down his face.

"How am I suppose to get over you?" I asked laughing slightly. 

"What if I never do?"

"Never do what?"

"Well.. y'know... get over you? What if I never forget you? What if, all my life, when I meet someone new, I can never fall for them because they aren't you?" He asked me looking seriously worried.

I paused walking as he did too. "I'll miss you. You and all the poetic shit you come out with,"

He laughed slightly with tears in his eyes and bags under his eyes. It was such a sight to see someone truly heartbroken but still laughing.

"I hope to God you will," He smiled as we began to carry on walking.

After a sad and upsetting silent walk, we made it. I asked the women behind the desk if the last coach of the night had been. I must've looked like a mess, I can't imagine how red my eyes were and how stained my cheeks were from crying. She had the nerve to tell me it was my 'lucky day' because it was on its way.

I paid for the tickets, just having enough money as I handed her overall my parents savings and taking the tickets I needed to reach her state.

We waited near the stop. Sat together in the freezing cold. I sat beside him chattering my teeth and shaking. Not having anything to cover my bare arms.

He looked over at me and gave me a pitiful smile. Before he pulled his jumper over his head and attempted to pass it to me.

"No, It's okay,"

"Just take it,"

"But I'll be on the coach soon. You need to walk home,"

"I want you to take it. Y'know... remember me by. Please take it... for me?" He gave me puppy eyes extending out the navy blue jumper in his hands. I didn't have the heart to turn it down... so I took it from him and pulled it over my head feeding my arms through the sleeves.

Once I had it on he put an arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder into him. "The coach is gonna be here any moment,"

"I know, I'm dreading it as every second goes by don't worry," He joked slightly.

"Oh, Billie..."

"I'm gonna miss you so stupidly much,"

"I'll miss you stupidly more,"

"Can I have one last hug?" He asked me, his voice soft at a low volume. I laughed slightly looking up at him.

"No need to ask Dummy,"

We stood up at the same time as he instantly engulfed me in his arms. I took in his scent as I buried my face into his chest already crying. Crying hard into his shirt.

And for years, and years, and years. I had always had this ever growing feeling inside of me. Of just wanting to go home. A little voice begging for me to go home.

But home was not home. Home had never been home. And my struggle was I never knew where home was or could be. All I knew was I wanted to be there.

I wanna go home the voice constantly says. And my reply is always the same. I don't know where that is.

But with his arms around me, as he sobbed into my shoulder. I realised.

Home was him. And he was home.

And I'm leaving home.

I'm leaving him, to be away from my house which is suppose to be but isn't home.

I had found what I'd been looking for in myself through him. A comforting feeling.

But I needed to leave. Not because of anything he did, but the four walls and the roof I had called home my whole life was filling me with feelings I didn't want to feel any more. And the feeling he gives me isn't enough to drown them out.

"You have no idea how much I'm gonna miss you," He finally said as he lets go of me. His hands on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes with his. "I can't believe this is it,"

"I'm sorry Billie Joe, I'll love you forever and always and you will have a special place in my heart for as long as I live. But I can't stay here anymore,"

"But I can't watch you leave," He breathed, as his eyes began to fill up with tears again.

I sighed sadly looking at the tears roll down his cheeks. "Don't look," I whispered.

"What if I never see you again my whole life and this is really is it for us? Am I gonna ever see you after this... after that coach drives away?"

"Maybe sometime in the future we'll cross paths and pick up here where we left off,"

"You think?"

"I sure do hope. If we're made for each other like you and I want to believe... this won't be the end for us. We'll have our happy ending, just not right now,"

"If we were right for each other you wouldn't have to leave,"

"Right person, wrong time. If we cross paths in the future we'll know it's fate,"

"But y'know I think fate is bullshit,"

"And y'know I think it too. But I'll put all my faith in fate to bring us together again,"

His hands left my shoulders and wipe the tears from off his sad face.

My heart was breaking. My soul was crushed. And all I had left was hope fate really would bring us together again, and his sweater stained with his tears on the shoulder and mine on the sleeves. A tear soaked up bluest of the blues sweater.

I loved him so dearly, and he loved me too. But we met at the wrong time.

"And what if I really can't do this Echo?" He sighed. His sad eyes looking dead into mine.

"Do what?"

"Get over you. You haven't given my heart a reason to stop loving you... you're just going. Still, as you were when I first met you. Everything I wanted and now I'm loosing another piece of you Every time a second passes. What am I gonna do if I'm never over you? If I never find love in anyone else's laugh, or a feeling of home in their arms, a sense of hope in their smile... because they're not you. What am I gonna do then?"

"I don't know how I'm gonna do this either, I have no plan. I have nothing but faith I'll be able to see you again. And that it's you I end up with. And I don't think you can even begin to understand how much it's gonna crush my heart right in my own chest to walk away and leave you here still madly in love with you. I never thought I'd ever get attached so much to the nimrod who sat behind me in that maths classroom. But I did,"

The coach pulled up in front of us as the driver got out and went into the building behind, the coach sat waiting for the other driver to come do his shift. We had maybe around ten minutes to say our final words to one another.

So as it came. I bid adieu to the only one who had ever made me feel like home really existed.

"Goodbye Billie Joe," I sadly sighed as more tears came out. But I didn't wanna sob, I'd have plenty of time to do that on the coach ride. "I love you,"

"I love you so much more,"

"Maybe I'll see you in the future. Until then I hope you do everything you hoped you would. I hope you become the big punk rock star you dreamed to be. Maybe one day I'll turn on the T.V. to see you on there... or find you in my place of work and give you a tattoo," I joked as I laughed a little, although I was still sad. Hoping to brighten up our goodbye story.

"I sure hope so." He nodded, he didn't laugh too but he bit the hell out of his bottom lip. Trying not to cry again. "Promise you'll never forget me,"

"I promise you," I smiled weakly. "Now give me a kiss for the road. I'm gonna need it with you not being with me,"

He smiled, not widely or anything. But he smiled. Before snaking his arms around my waist and pulling me in.

Our lips connected as we kissed. Nothing heated, it was definitely passionate. But the taste of sadness filled it up.

And he pulled away as we had realized the coach driver was ready, just waiting for me. I breathed in walking to the coach before looking back one last time.

"I love you, thank you for all the memories." I tried to smile. But I felt the tears roll down each cheek and drip away.

"I love you too, thank you for calling me nimrod,"

"Thanks for being one." I laughed slightly before getting officially on the coach. I walked up the few steps and made my way down the aisle and sat next to the window on a seat in the middle of the nearly empty bus.

And I saw him, just visible under the street light. He was crying, really hard actually. but he realized I was watching him and he quickly smiled at me. Despite the tears running down his face and the pain in his eyes big green once happy eyes, and it broke my heart. Because all I wanted to do was run off the coach and absorb him in the biggest hug, but I couldn't.

'I love you,' he mouthed as I heard the engine start.

'I love you more,'

He lifted up his hand as he started to wave. I made the shape of a heart with my fingers and thumb pressing it on the glass and smiling ever so weakly at him as the bus began to move.

I watched him slowly begin to disappear as his wave turned to a big full arm wave saying goodbye as I sobbed hard waving back.

And then his tiny little figure wasn't visible any more.

The Irritating little nimrod I had fallen in love with was gone.

The coach trips were so long, dragging and so filled with sadness.

I'll never tell him how much I cried on my way there, he'll never even get to know. Because maybe that will be the last I'll ever see of Billie Joe Armstrong.

I was happy where I got sat in maths, the nimrod who sat behind me. Who loved to piss me off, who I accidentally fell into love with. I was happy for all the memories, the experiences, for knowing him. I dread to think I'll ever forget the way his voice sounded so weak, I dread to think how hard he's crying walking home on his own with no jumper as I pulled the neck of it closer to me breathing in his comforting scent that I knew would soon wear out.

But I know I'll never forget all he did for me, the times we shared. I just hope he doesn't either.

And I think forever the hardest thing I had to do, was get on this coach and leave still madly in love with you.

REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ THANK U :)

Hi! If you're reading this after 31st Of December (The date I'm writing this) I just wanted to let you know that there IS a book two coming out! I thought a lot about it and I had all these wonderful ideas floating into my head. But in order to use them there had to be a book two.

SO! This isnt the end! The book is already in my drafts, at four chapters so far. Im waiting around until maybe 'Be Quiet' Ends to start publishing. If not probably earlier. So if you did enjoy this book PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSSSSE stay tuned. There is another, and it does NOT end sad.

(Maybe ignore the fact that I'm writing another because sad endings unsatisfied me and I somewhat upset myself with the ending-)

UPDATE!!!!! NIMROD SEQUEL IS OUT NOW!