"And you've started to pack?" She asked, her arms crossed as she stood in the door way of my room.

"Yes mom I've already told you, I've began packing," I lied once again, my face buried into the pillow I had in my arms.

"Really? It doesn't look like it,"

"Yes! I have!" I snapped pulling my face away from the pillow.

"Where's your bags then!? Or- or your suitcases!?"

"In my closet! Want to go check!?" Please say no, please say no.

"No." She breathed out, as I breathed in relieved.

She uncrossed her arms and spun around, walking back down the hallway and down the stairs leaving my door open.

"Thanks for closing the door mom." I muttered getting off my bed and walking to the door shutting it. "Stupid bitch,"

"I'm not your mom," A voice from behind me chuckled. 

I spun around gasping before seeing Billie smiling, hanging in the window.

"You dick head! You scared me!"

"Can you....?"

I sighed walking over to him as he carefully held his hand out, his other one holding him up. I quickly grabbed his hand tugging him through as he managed to climb inside.

He sighed sitting down on my bed as I joined him, out of breath.

"Y'know.... why are you even here?" I asked him.

"Thought I'd come see you... y'know since you might be going soon and all that y'know... all that stuff.... tryna make the most out of it... y'know?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You just said y'know three time's, you sound nervous and your eyes are darting all around the place," I pointed out looking over at him.

He finally looked back over at me looking away at whatever he was staring at before. "I'm fine,"

"You're sure?"

"Mhm," He nodded quickly.

"...All right," I sighed shrugging my shoulders as I looked away at him and around my room.

I was really just looking for a place to start. I guess I'll have to pack soon won't I? But where does one start? My draws? My posters? My decorations? My closet? Where?

"Y'know... I was thinking," Billie spoke up after a moment of me looking around my room.

"Here it is," I muttered as he carried on.

"What happens if you go to your grandmas and whatever and-"

"-Is this what you've been worrying about?"

"Let me finish!"

"Jeez... alright Beej,"

"Anyway," He started. "What if you go there and because I don't have a phone... you won't have my new number when I do get a new phone. Eventually anyway. So how will I keep in contact with you? How am I suppose to text you? Y'know... and ring you everyday? Still annoying you- y'know?"

"Billie I'll write you down and give you my number you dummy." I sighed laughing slightly as I stood up. I walked over to my draws opening it, grabbing out my note pad and a random green pen.

Since I would be returning back to my grandmas, I'd be able to see my phone again. But I guess the plan was that when Billie would eventually get a new phone, however long that would take, he could text me. 

I ripped out a piece of paper jotting down my number in neon green gel pen before I scrunched it into a ball and threw it at Billies head.

"Hey!" He laughed picking it up from the floor where it had landed after reflecting off of him. He stuffed it into his pocket before I walked back over to him.

"Happy now?"

"Mucho,"

I smiled at him before sitting back down on my bed. "My friendship group basically fell apart before my eyes last night,"

"It did?" 

"Everyone started screaming. Kennedy was angry at Layla. I was angry at Layla. Mae was trying to not get involved but she had said things about Layla. Layla was angry at Kennedy. Also at Mae. It was a mess, then everyone just screamed and Kennedy kicked the both of them out her house,"

"What did you do?" He asked as he leaned his head on my shoulder, his eyes looking up at me waiting for my reply.

"Literally nothing,"

"Nothing?"

"I just sat there and... sorta watched. I guess anyone could see the tension that had been growing in the group recently. Anyone could see we was bound to fall apart any minute. It kind of sucks, but I guess life goes on. People have different opinions and sometimes you just can't change them. The same with trying to hold on or keep together something that's not worth it. Mae was the only thing keeping us together, not wanting to get involved or never picking sides. Sorta like the glue. But when Kennedy exposed her for saying those things about Layla that's when I knew the whole 'Friendship ground' was all busted up and breaking apart," I briefly explained not really sounding or seeming to care that we all fell out as I rested my head on his. I guess I would care more if I didn't have Billie... or if I wasn't leaving in a matter of days. 

"You only don't care because you have to leave them either way, friends or not,"

"You're not wrong,"

"You even said to me you wouldn't keep in touch with anyone if you ever left,"

"Yeah- well obviously apart from you but... if I left by choice. Now I don't have an option and honestly I would rather stay here than live with an old lady I hardly know in a little bungalow in the middle of nowhere,"

"I was thinking last night," He told me shifting slightly on the bed so his shoulder wasn't up against mine. More him looking over at me. Confused I too turned to face him back as he carried on his sentence. "If you left either way. Y'know if you left to your friends or when you leave to your grandmas-"

"-Which hopefully I won't," I quickly said cutting him off.

"Right... yeah. But hypothetically speaking if you did... what would happen to... well y'know...us?"

"Us?" I questioned confused.

"Well yeah... us. Me and you. You and me... y'know? Our relationship. What would happen when-"

"-If,"

"Right... if you leave. If you leave what would happen to our relationship? Y'know..."

"...Us?"

"Yeah..." He confirmed, his eyes seeming dull. "...Us,"

"I don't know... would we still- well- be able to be together? Y'know with not seeing each other anymore. I don't have much money to see you and well..."

"Vise versa," He finished.

"Yeah. Maybe it just wouldn't work out y'know? It sounds super sad to say that out loud. But we wouldn't possibly be able to stay as... us. We would eventually move on y'know? Someone else would come into our lives and we might probably never meet again. I know even now I would think about you all the time... but maybe it would be the end... of," I got a lump in my throat struggling to get the word out. "...Us,"

"I guess I knew that the moment you said you wanted to leave this town. I just never wanted to accept there would ever be an end. Hell, I didn't know there would even be a beginning but now there is- oh lord does it have to end?" He asked, lifting up his eyebrows with a sad expression stuck on to his face. His lips a wonky line as his green eyes flickered against my right and my left eye. 

"As long as you still have my number. You can call me when you get a new phone or even on your house phone when I next go to my grandmas to... well stay there,"

"Echo,"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if I could do that,"

"What- ring me?" I asked him confused. He nodded. I looked at him confused. He wanted my number? "But- why?"

"Its gonna sound stupid to say this out loud but I don't think I could bring myself to hear your voice. What if I get out of that sad stage and just hearing your laugh down the line knowing I can't see it... what if it throws me back into that? Y'know? Hearing your voice and knowing we've gone back to being friends. Even though I'll still love you and you might maybe still love me... we'll technically be friends. It was already torture before looking at you and knowing your not mine. But at least I had the opportunity, which I took, to make you mine. But hearing your voice and knowing you was once mine and me and you was an us. And that we might possibly never be an us again and I wont get to see you smile randomly, laugh over stupid things, pout at me when you don't get your way, scowl at me when I make a joke, even see you loose your patience when I wind you up in class. Echo, when you're gone... someone else is gonna sit in that seat. In your seat in maths. And I'm gonna hate them. I'm not gonna mean to, I'm not gonna want to, I shouldn't but I know I'll hate them. I'll hate that they aren't you. I'm gonna struggle seeing so many scenarios where you wont be in the picture anymore or beside me. It's gonna fuck me up, drag me down, tear me apart. I just don't think I could hear you. I would loose my mind going crazy because I'll miss you more than I remembered when I'm reminded how you sounded. It'll break my mind. I don't wanna be broken completely Echo. You keep me together,"

Billie confused me. At times when I thought he would be crying he wasn't. But sometimes he did cry. One moment he could lock his emotions up forever and then the next minute his tears had flooded the gates and dripping off his face. He wasn't crying right now. But he was about to... on the edge. He was close to crying, the tears in the bottom of his eyes. I'm pretty sure he was trying his damnedest to make sure he didn't physically cry... but I think even he knew he couldn't stop them.

I looked over at him, pouting. The bottom of my vision blurry too from tears. I wanted to say so much more. Tell him how much I was gonna miss him like he just had with me. Tell him how I feel. Because it had always been me who was ale to speak my mind and emotions and Billie who was vague. But I guess today was a turning point. Because I could only manage to choke out three words before crying. "I love you,"

I told him if. I told him I had it under control. I told him a lot. But I had already accepted defeat our end was coming.