Nicolás Velez is done with casual sex.

Listen, yes, he might've fucked everyone in his flat within the first week of living in halls and had a respectable run on Grindr, but what eighteen-year-old wouldn't? He's almost twenty-four now, though, and sleeping with people who won't remember his name five minutes later is, as his best mate would say, "not cute, baby girl".

Problem: Nikki sucks at dating. In his defence, he really is trying his best. He even read dating advice to the eighth page of Google! (Would've read further too, but the suggestions started sounding more appropriate for the search "how to kidnap a woman?" so he reckoned it the time to quit.) Despite the effort, Nikki is about as successful on dates as Charlie Hides was on Drag Race: difficult to watch and definitely overstaying his welcome.

Josephine Rawlins is all about casual sex.

After the end of a seven-year relationship, Joe packs up the wreckage of her life in London and seeks new scenery in Manchester. Best way to get over someone is to get under someone new and Joe is ready for the slag phase she didn't have at uni. Problem: Every time someone makes flirtatious eye contact across a respectable distance of six yards, she freaks out.

Solution: Practice together. Nicolás can help her bury her ex in physical pleasure and Josephine can teach him how to not come across as a serial murderer or the single parent to an angsty teen. And when they've each refined their skill sets, they'll be free to pursue their deeply incompatible goals with other people. Practice makes perfect, right?

Unless Nicolás Velez is, simply, bad at love.

LOVE IS THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD WHEN IT HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT, BUT IT DOESN'T GET REAL UNTIL YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE

entergalactic (2022)

IT'S ONE THING TO BE LOOKED AT AND ANOTHER THING TO BE SEEN

caleb azumah nelson, open water

SOUNDTRACK
[spotify link in bio]

01. 20 SOMETHING sza | 02. FEAR. kendrick lamar | 03. MARIA MARIA santana | 04. DON'T LET GO (LOVE) en vogue | 05. SATIVA jhené aiko | 06. WILLING TO TRUST kid cudi | 07. 3005 childish gambino | 08. IGUAL QUE UN ÁNGEL kali uchis | 09. SWEET/I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE tyler, the creator | 10. PEGASUS arlo parks | 11. LOST IN LOVE brockhampton | 12. FOTOS Y RECUERDOS selena | 13. THIS OLD HEART OF MINE (IS WEAK FOR YOU) the isley brothers | 14. YOU GIVE GOOD LOVE whitney houston

CONTENT WARNINGS: bi/panphobia (external only), parental neglect and parentification, police violence (non-explicit backstory only), trauma and PTSD.

In secondary characters: abuse (in family and romantic relationships), addiction and misuse of alcohol and drugs (including self-medication), depression, disordered eating, OCD, religious trauma, schizophrenia, self-harm and suicidal ideation.

There will also be explicit sexual content.

Owning to the aforementioned, this story is rated mature.

GLOSSARY: This story is written in UK English, specifically Manchester, and hosts side characters with various dialects. There will be a glossary at the end of a chapter whenever new words that people who speak other forms of English might not understand are introduced. If there are any words you don't understand, do ask in the comments and I'll add them to this list for future readers. 

Here's a video on the basics of the Manc accent if you're curious about what it sounds like:

https://youtu.be/OYc03pTbbAo

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hiya! Welcome to this new book. It's happened, the apocalypse: I am writing a cishet relationship 😱😱DWDW they're still queer!😉🏳️‍🌈The vibe:

Dedicated to pixelmum because this book would simply not exist without xem. Do check out her writing, they're incredible!

This story is set in 2017-18.

Adding up all the side characters, I am writing plenty of things outside of my own experience here. I am very open to feedback about any of the representation aspects as I always want things to be authentic to the people depicted. If something is incorrect or offensive, I'd be grateful if you let me know so I can fix it.

Thanks for reading! I do hope you enjoy the book <3 Do vote and comment if you do :D

Written 28 October 2023–25 July 2024‎ 
Published 1 April 2024–26 December 2024 ‎‎‎

136,397 words

All rights reserved. Any unauthorised use of this material is prohibited under copyright law. Any use of this work to train generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies is expressly prohibited.