Niki was comfortable with the setup that was caused by the pandemic. She hated commuting. She hated being in crowded spaces. She hated small talks and forced laughter at work. Kumportable siyang nasa bahay lang, mag-isa sa katahimikan. It was not even like she was completely isolated from the world. She had Andy. They were constantly talking. Hindi ito nauubusan ng kwento that kept her entertained. Her friends would also often reach out through video calls, something that quickly became the norm, even at work.

Araw-araw ding may meetings sa office.

It was not like she was completely detached from the world. Everything just became virtual. Nakaka-bore ding mag-isa sa condo, pero at least nakakalabas siya weekly para mag-grocery. Almost everything is closed, pero recently, pinayagan uli ang deliveries. Maaliwalas palagi ang paligid dahil wala masyadong tao. Marami ring establishments ang nagsara kaya limitado lang din ang options ni Niki pagdating sa pagkain.

It was then that she started missing her mother's cooking. At some point, na-tempt siyang mag-reach out para mangumusta, pero pinigilan niya ang sarili.

They were probably okay. Nandoon naman ang dalawa niyang kapatid para alagaan ang parents niya. The news of people dying, especially old and immuno-compromised people worried her, but it had been so long since she last communicated with her family. Parang ang hirap nang bumalik.

But all in all, she was doing okay.

That was until it was announced at work that they might lay off some people for cost-cutting purposes. Niki never took those performance metrics seriously. She knew she was doing a good job at work. Good, but not excellent. Her salary was just enough to cover the bills and occasionally allow her some luxury.

Umasa siyang magkaka-raise ngayong taon, pero ang nakuha niya... termination. After getting the news, it felt like the roof fell on her head and everything came crashing down. She found herself panicking. She was enveloped with a sense of dread when she began thinking about the bills she still had to pay and how hard it would be to get another job at that time when so many companies were laying off employees.

It was the fear brought about by the sudden loss of control. Kung anu-ano na agad ang pumasok sa utak niya noon. Dark thoughts. And before she could succumb to them, she decided to call Andy.

–

Nakakaisang katok pa lang si Andy nang bumukas ang pintuan ng condo unit ni Niki. Mugtong-mugto pa rin ang mga mata nito. Magulo ang buhok. Naiwan pa yata ang kapares ng suot na tsinelas kamamadali.

She burst into tears when she saw him. Yumakap ito sa kanya nang mahigpit. They awkwardly stood there while he was soothing her. Her cries echoed in the hallway and some curious neighbors took a peek.

"Let's go inside, hm?"

He moved them inside the unit and closed the door. Sumandal siya sa nakasaradong pinto, still wearing his backpack, and let her cry until she got tired of crying.

They stood there for about 20 minutes while her wails slowly turned into soft sobs. Ngalay na siya sa pag-alalay at paghagod sa likod nito pero wala naman siyang magawa kundi magtiis. The global pandemic clearly took its toll on Niki. Ito kasi ang panahon na nagsiuwian ang mga taong nagtatrabaho sa Maynila sa kani-kanyang pamilya. He was even planning on going home himself. Niki didn't want to go home. She was all alone. Tapos nawalan pa ito ng trabaho.

Basang-basa na ang damit ni Andy nang matapos itong umiyak. Good thing he brought a few changes of clothes.

"Okay ka na?" tanong niya rito.

Niki pulled away and wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. "Sorry, basa na damit mo," she croaked.

"It's okay." He put his backpack on the sofa and took a shirt out. "Bihis lang ako."

Lumakad siya patungo sa banyo. On his way there, he spotted a knife on the table. Kunot-noo niyang tiningnan si Niki, silently asking for an explanation. Niki's eyes widened. "I-I was just–"

He took the knife and put it back on the knife rack. "The knife was dull, you know. It would hurt you but it wouldn't kill you."

–

Pagkabihis ni Andy, agad nitong tiningnan ang loob ng refrigerator para maghanap ng ipapakain sa kanya. Maraming de-lata at instant noodles sa cupboard niya. Meron din siyang frozen meat and fish sa freezer. Saka kung anu-anong pang-merienda. Meron ding ayuda galing sa gobyerno. Pero wala siyang fresh ingredients dahil hindi naman siya nagluluto.

"Maggu-grocery lang ako," sabi ni Andy sa kanya. "Gusto mong sumama?"

Niki didn't answer.

"Sumama ka na. You need some fresh air."

She didn't argue with that. Nagpalit lang siya ng damit, nagsuot ng cap at mask, saka kinuha ang wallet at susi ng bahay.

Kumapit siya sa braso ni Andy habang naglalakad. "Nag-early out ka?" tanong niya rito.

"Sabi ko may emergency."

"Sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry? You needed help. You asked for help. That's being a responsible friend."

Yumuko siya. Truth be told, it never occurred to her that she would be bothering Andy. She just wanted his help because she couldn't help herself. She was only thinking about herself at that moment.

"Honestly, Niki, I would hate you if you didn't call." She could hear the concern in his voice. He was probably worried because she never cried like that. Sa kanilang dalawa, parang mas iyakin pa si Andy kesa sa kanya.

–

The trip to the grocery store was quick. They were in and out in less than 30 minutes. Andy just bought a few vegetables and aromatics. Ito na rin ang nagbayad. Pagbalik nila sa unit, nagluto ito ng sinigang, para raw naman mag-hydrate siya kahit papaano.

It was the first home-cooked meal Niki has had since the pandemic started. Muntik na naman siyang umiyak nang matikman ang luto ni Andy. Everyone in his family could cook. Bonding time kasi nito iyon with his mom. Paborito nilang tambayan ang bahay nina Andy dahil palaging may pagkain. Tita Andrea would even pack the leftovers for them. She even jokingly told her once na kapag sila ang nagkatuluyan ni Andy, kahit hindi na raw siya magtutong magluto dahil marunong na ito.

"Sarap!" she complimented. "Pwede ka nang mag-asawa."

Andy snickered. "Kung ang basis ng pag-aasawa ay cooking skills, then that means mamamatay kang single."

She made a face.

"I sharpened your knives, but they're only for cooking, Niki."

"I know. Sorry for making you worry. I think I was having a panic attack. Or anxiety attacks. Or both."

"So, ano'ng plano mo? You can't pay for the unit on your own without a job. May naka-ready ka bang resume?" sunod-sunod nitong tanong. He took the empty plate from the table and put it on a sink. "I'll help you send your resumes. Just give me a salary range."

"How much is your salary, Andy?"

Andy raised an eyebrow. Ayaw nitong ipinagkakalat kung magkano ang sinasahod nito, pero alam niyang malaki iyon. He's a mid-level web developer tapos under US company. Niki figured his salary was around 70K to 80K. She knew it was two or three times her salary.

"Your skills cannot afford my salary, Niki. Be realistic."

Ngumuso siya. "How long will it take to learn your skills?"

"Years."

"What about the basic skills?"

"Months probably. Depende kung gaano ka kabilis mag-absorb ng information." He turned the faucet on to wash the dishes. Tinabihan niya ito. Andy looked at her. "I'll send you some tutorials later."

–

The words were dancing in front of Niki's eyes. Her attention was constantly drifting to the other opened tabs of her browser. Codes bore her. She took a seminar about it back in college. HTML at CCS pa ang uso noon. She fell asleep during the seminar and the only thing she remembered was the class trip to a big mall after that.

Tinapik ni Andy ang noo niya nang humikab siya. "Focus," paalala nito.

"I-explain mo na lang kasi."

"Even if I explain it to you, kung hindi ka naman interesado, hindi mo rin maa-absorb yung information."

Andy still tried to explain it to her, though, matapos niyang mamilit at mangunsensya. During the first 30 minutes, she was actually able to focus and understand the information. Pero nakakaantok ang boses ni Andy, lalo na at busog siya at katatapos umiyak nang matagal.

She didn't realize that she already fell asleep until Andy snapped his fingers.

"Matulog ka na lang muna siguro. You're tired," he told her. He turned the laptop off and put it back inside her room. Sumunod naman siya rito. While she stood there, Andy pushed the trash and clothes that had accumulated on her bed. Ipinagpag nito ang mga unan at kumot bago siya pinaakyat sa kama.

Before she climbed on the bed, she gave Andy a side hug. "Thank you," mahina niyang sabi.

Andy put his arm on her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "Don't mention it. Maligo ka pagkagising mo mamaya. Ang asim ng ulo mo."

Kinurot niya ito sa tagiliran. Tumawa naman ito bago bumitaw sa kanya.

–

Habang nagpapahinga si Niki, minabuti ni Andy na linisin ang unit nito. He thought that a cleaner environment would do her some good. He also cooked Niki's favorite meal for dinner, so she could eat better. Imbes na tumaba ito dahil nasa bahay lang, parang mas lalo itong namayat. It was probably because of all the instant and canned food she was consuming. Ilang beses na kasi niya itong in-encourage na magtutong magluto. He even offered to teach her. But Niki wouldn't do something that doesn't pique her interest.

While the pork humba was simmering in the pot, he called his mom to get her advice on something he had been contemplating about since he received Niki's call earlier.

"Ma."

"Hm?"

"Kumusta kayo dyan?"

"Well, same as yesterday. Hindi ko pinalalabas ang papa mo kahit magalit sya, don't worry. Binigyan din kami ng supplies ng barangay. Saka nandito si Louie naman to help us, anak."

"Good. Let me know if you need anything."

"We will. But is that why you called?"

Napangiti siya sa tanong ng ina. Nothing gets past her.

"I'm concerned about Niki."

"What happened to Niki?"

He told his mother about what happened earlier and how Niki reacted to the news of her being terminated. He expressed his worry about the knife on the kitchen table and how terrified Niki seemed when he got to her place.

"She's sleeping now. Ipinagluto ko ng dinner. Puro de lata ang kinakain e." He clicked his tongue. "But don't mention any of it to her parents, please. Ako naman ang malalagot pag nalaman nya."

Bumuntong-hininga ang mama niya. "I know."

"I'm... actually thinking of staying with her for a few weeks. Siguro hanggang sa makahanap lang sya ng bagong work. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"You know her better than I do. If you think that would help her, then go with your gut. Alam mong parang anak ko na si Niki. I want what's best for her and I know you do too."

"Don't you think she'll find it weird?"

"You've been friends for almost two decades, anak. Nothing is weird anymore." His mother let out a gentle laugh. "Pero wala nang kasama si Niki dyan, di ba? Myles isn't coming back?"

"Yes. Kaso kahit makahanap sya ng kasama, kung wala syang trabaho, it might not be enough to continue her payments."

"Not unless you're the new tenant."

Any frowned at the notion.

"If you're the new tenant, you can help her pay the bills without making it look like a charity. I know madalas magpalibre si Niki, but when it comes to things that she actually needs financial help for, she doesn't ask for it."

"She hasn't paid me for the Bangkok trip, though."

Tumawa ito. "Well I don't know what's the deal with that trip. But all I'm saying is, you can offer to pay for a few months. In exchange, dyan ka muna titira. You're already renting, anyway, so why not co-inhabit with your best friend? And besides, you can look out for her and cook her meals, di ba? Instead na magkalayo kayo. Palagi kang magwu-worry."

"She might not accept the help, Ma. You know how she is."

"I think she will. She's not in a good place right now. She knows that. And if she refuses, then just make it seem na ikaw ang mas makikinabang sa setup. She'll agree if she thinks she's doing you a favor."

Andy exhaled. "Okay. I'll talk to her later. Nga pala, ma. Ano na nga yung nilalagay mo sa humba? It's not sugar. It doesn't taste the same."

"The pineapple jam?"

Binuksan niya ang ref para tingnan kung may pineapple jam doon. Wala siyang nakita.

"Pag wala, pineapple chunks or pineapple juice. Pineapple jam is still the best, though. Maybe you should add some honey to the pineapple juice para mas malapit yung lasa?"

"Okay. I think there is honey and pineapple juice here. I-check ko lang yung niluluto ko, Ma."

"Okay."

"Thank you, Ma. Ingat kayo, ha. Love you."

"Kayo rin, anak. Love you. Give my regards to Niki."