Ilang araw pa lang na wala si Andy pero ramdam na ramdam na ni Niki ang pag-iisa. His absence made her grow anxious. When the pandemic started, the future became uncertain. Her head would often be filled with worries about her own future. Lalo na at wala siyang trabaho. Lalo na at paubos ang ipon niya. Losing stability was taking its toll on her.

On the third morning since Andy left, Niki found herself crying in the morning. She had propped her phone on the drawer, like usual. Naka-full face makeup na siya. She already had her script memorized. And then, the little voice inside her head went, 'Why don't we commence the emotional breakdown today?' It was a beautiful day outside. Clear, blue sky. Mataas ang araw. Hindi masyadong maingay sa daan.

But Niki couldn't get out of her unit and go somewhere else because gala means gastos... at wala na siyang karapatang gumastos sa mga walang kapararakang bagay.

Hati-hati na ang pera niya hanggang February. She hated it. Ayaw na ayaw niyang kinukulang sa pera. Gusto niya yung siguridad na binibigay ng extra money. The thought that she still has something to pull out from her wallet or her card in case of an emergency.

Niki watched herself cry from the camera of her phone. And hated the thought that even with the breakdown, she was still thinking about how she should look while crying, and if it could make for a good content, and if it was enough to make her some body.

Groaning, she put the phone down and gathered her legs up on the chair to sob quietly.

"Meow."

She looked down at the sound she just heard. Ponkan was grazing the chair's legs with his whiskers. Tumingala ito sa kanya. "Meow." Ponkan blinked at her before jumping on the chair with his front paws.

She reached out to scratch the cat's chin. Ponkan closed his eyes to enjoy the scratches.

Ibinaba niya ang mga paa sa sahig para makasampa ito nang maayos sa kandungan niya. Ponkan jumped onto her lap and sat there while looking up at her. Hindi ito umiwas nang halikan niya ito sa tuktok.

Niki slowly reached to her phone and put it back on the handle. She turned the camera on and pressed record.

"So... I uh... I was faking a breakdown to see if Ponkan would offer me comfort and look!" She reduced her voice to a whisper. "He has never done this. My cat isn't heartless after all."

Suddenly, Ponkan jumped off, which made Niki laugh.

"And... he's gone." Kinuha niya ang phone at binaliktad ang camera view. Ponkan was walking around the room, occasionally looking back at her. "Ponkan!" tawag niya.

"Meow."

"Come back here. Mommy needs more comfort."

"Meow!"

Nagsimula itong tumakbo nang habulin niya. She followed the cat into Andy's bedroom, where he quickly climbed the cat tree on the corner. Pumunta ito sa pinakang taas at tumitig sa kanya habang papalapit siya.

Ponkan stood up when she tried reaching out to him.

"You want a treat?"

"Meow..."

Itinikom niya ang palad, para kunwari ay may laman iyon. Lumapit siya sa pusa. Ponkan was curiously waiting for her to reveal the content of her hand, even giving it a sniff. When she opened her palm to reveal nothing, Ponkan began smacking it.

Thankfully, Ponkan didn't use his claws.

Niki ended the recording while laughing. She was glad Andy didn't take Ponkan with him. Mababaliw siguro siya kung siya lamang mag-isa ang nandoon. Ponkan might not be able to comfort her when she was feeling sad, but at least he could distract her from being sad.

She dried her tears and went back to her room to edit the recording. Kagaya ng dati niyang ginagawa, nilagyan niya ng intro ang video and cut the recording to fit the usual time frame. Niki noticed that her shorter videos get more engagements. Siguro dahil mas mabilis mag-loop. Saka dahil na rin maiksi ang attention span ng mga tao. Ganoon din kasi siya sa mga video na pinapanuod niya.

She would often let the videos automatically replay while she was busy doing other things. Kapag mas mahaba iyong video, minsan naiisip siyang matapos iyon. At kapag natapos na nang isang beses, nag-i-scroll na siya kaagad.

Pagka-edit ay agad niyang in-upload ang video sa app.

–

"Ang cute-cute ni Ponkan!" Antoneth exclaimed. Nasa sala silang magkakapatid. Andy and Angelo were playing on the TV. Nakaupo sa one-seater si Antoneth, nanunuod ng videos sa phone. Their parents were out, nakikipagtsismisan yata sa kapitbahay.

Simula na ng bakasyon ni Andy. Medyo maluwag nga ang restrictions sa probinsya, pero mainit sa labas. Kaya nasa sala silang magkakapatid. Dalawang electric fan ang bukas.

"May upload na bago?" tanong ni Angelo sa kapatid.

"Oo. Kaka-upload lang," sagot nito. "Kuya, bakit kasi di mo sinama si Ponkan?"

"Walang kasama si Niki pag dinala ko yung pusa," Andy answered without looking away from the TV screen. "Ano'ng inupload nya?"

"Umiyak sya para i-comfort ni Ponkan. Tapos nilayasan agad," sagot nito na may kasamang hagikhik. "Di ba pusa ni Ate Niki si Ponkan? Bat parang mas close kayo?"

"Lovable kasi ako," biro niya. He paused the game and got up, despite Angelo's complaints. Tinabihan niya ang bunsong kapatid. "Tingin nga."

Antoneth showed him the video. It started with Niki's usual intro. And then, it transitioned into Niki sitting on the chair in her room. She was hugging herself, crying. Mugto ang mga mata nito. She was looking down to her right, where he guessed Ponkan was.

Niki put her feet down and Ponkan immediately jumped to her lap. Hindi pa iyon ginawa ni Ponkan simula nang iuwi ito ni Niki. She would have to force the cat to sit on her lap and it would often end up with Ponkan scratching Niki's arms.

Andy has read before that cats are considered to be empathetic animals and they often comfort their owners if they seem sad or upset. Andy had a feeling that Niki was not just acting sad.

Ibinalik niya ang phone sa kapatid saka siya umakyat ng hagdan.

"Kuya! Di ka na maglalaro?" tanong ni Angelo sa kanya.

"May gagawin ako."

–

Niki was heating up her lunch, past 3PM in the afternoon, when her phone suddenly rang. Nagulat si Ponkan nang takbuhin niya ang kwarto para kunin iyon. Muntik pa siyang matisod at mapasubsob sa kama kamamadali. She picked up the phone with so much excitement but her smile quickly faded when she saw that it was only Jewel who was calling.

"Beh! Umuwi ka?"

"Hindi," nakanguso niyang sagot. "Bakit ka tumawag?"

"Bawal tumawag?" natatawa nitong tanong. "Bakit? Were you waiting for Andy's call?"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. Niki climbed onto the bed and lay on it. "Kinda."

Andy just texts to check on her. Niki knew his siblings follow her on social media so they could have seen the video already. She thought he would call before the day ended, but it just turned out to be Jewel.

"Ikaw naman kasi. Bakit hindi ka sumama pag-uwi?"

"I don't want to run into them," pag-amin niya sa kaibigan.

Jewel let out an exasperated sigh. "Sayang naman. Pwede naman na kina Tita Andrea ka tumuloy."

"Hinahanap nga raw ako."

"Alam mo namang gustong-gusto kang manugangin ng parents ni Andy." Humagikhik si Jewel. "Nga pala, hanggang kailan sya sa kanila?"

"Baka until next month."

"So until next month kang mag-isa dyan? Sure ka?"

She stared at the ceiling. Sigurado ba siyang kaya niyang mag-isa? Isang buwan lang naman, more or less. Hindi naman siguro mangyayari uli yung nangyari sa start ng pandemic.

"I'd rather be here," she answered.

"Okay... if you say so. Pero kung magbabago ang isip mo, uuwi si PJ sa bisperas. Kasama yung girlfriend."

"Sige. I'll message him kung magbago ang isip ko."

"So, kumusta ka naman dyan? Napanuod ko yung video mo."

"Ah... yun? I was just pranking Ponkan. And it worked." She let out a laugh. "Kaso umalis din agad e."

"Hmm.. sige. Call me if you need anything, okay? And call Andy if you miss him. Two way naman ang communication, Niki. Pwedeng ikaw yung mag-initiate."

She smiled. "I'll remember that. Thanks."

After ending the call, Niki checked her phone for the messages. Unang nakita ng mata niya ang message ni Andy.

From: Andy

May kausap ka sa phone? Busy line mo

To: Andy

Yep. Si Jewel

Tumatawag ka?

Muntik na niyang mabitawan ang phone nang bigla iyong tumunog. Si Andy naman ang tumatawag.

"O?" bati niya.

There was shuffling on the other line. "Kumusta?" sagot ni Andy maya-maya.

"Okay lang."

"Kumain ka na?"

"Kakain pa lang."

"Lunch?!"

"Oo."

Andy exhaled sharply. "Niki."

"I wasn't hungry. Late din ako nag-breakfast kasi," dahilan niya. "Napatawag ka?"

"Uh... wala lang. Nangungumusta lang. Okay naman kayo ni Pon dyan?"

"Oo. Di naman kami lumalabas ng unit."

"Mm." There was a creaking sound on the other end. Niki guessed that Andy was probably in his room. "Kita ko yung video mo."

"Oh?"

"Pinapanuod ni Tonet."

"Ah..."

Andy was silent for a moment. Niki did not say anything. Hinintay lang niya itong magsalitang muli.

"Okay ka lang?" tanong nito.

"Uhm... oo."

Natahimik uli ito sa kabilang linya. Niki bit her lip. She was half-expecting a scolding from Andy.

"Don't lie to me, Niki," he said softly. Niki let out a sigh.

"Okay, I wasn't. But I'm fine now," sabi niya rito. "Ponkan made me laugh. So okay na 'ko. Di na uli malungkot."

"Bakit ka nalungkot?"

"Existential crisis."

That made Andy laugh. Napangiti na rin siya.

"Kung nalulungkot ka, tawagan mo 'ko. You can call me anytime, you know that. Wag kang magtiis nang walang kausap."

"I know. Sorry."

"Call me anytime, okay?"

"Baka kasi busy ka."

"Kahit na."

Tumagilid siya at niyakap ang katabing unan. "Okay."

"Do you need to talk about anything right now?"

Niki shook her head. "Nope. I'm good. Medyo gutom lang."

"Okay. Kumain ka nang marami."

"Opo. Yes po," she answered with a smile. "Sige na. Bye!"

"Okay. Bye."