Zahra

I will hold my tongue.

Yet, I desire to speak my mind as I always do with Mahmud.

Still, I'm here in the middle of a public palace gathering for a wedding banquet. Perhaps I'd best wander over to the "female" side of the room where it's socially acceptable to speak.

Pfft! Sure women are treated with respect, Mahmud.

"Who is this, Mahmud?"

I nearly jump out of my skin. King Raman, of all people, has approached us.

Too late to say anything. Speaking as a woman before the king without being addressed would basically be heresy. Why did I let Mahmud talk me into coming to this? It's no fun at all. Mahmud doesn't even look like he's having fun.

"My servant, your Majesty," Mahmud says, bowing his head toward the king.

Raman cocks a bushy black eyebrow and runs a hand through his grizzled beard. "Servant, huh?" he winks at Mahmud. "Is that what we call them now?"

Anger burns within me to give Raman a piece of my mind, but I cast my gaze submissively downward as is custom.

Live to fight another day.

"She doesn't get out much, I thought I'd give her a good time at a real banquet," Mahmud says, his face flushing. "Thank you for having us, your majesty."

"I've been watching you, Mahmud," King Raman says, putting an all-too-friendly arm around him. "You've got a wonderful career ahead of you. You and that gorgeous mare of yours."

It's my turn to blush, but with my heavy veiling I doubt anyone notices.

"Which brings me to ask," Raman whispers in his ear, but I can hear him with my acute ears. "When can I have a foal from that beauty of yours? You can't keep such breathtaking genetics to yourself. She's faster than any other horse in my calvary."

My blood practically freezes in my veins hearing this. I can only imagine what is going on through Mahmud's head, but I take it upon myself to halt this conversation now. I pretend to faint and fall right into Mahmud who catches me in his arms as if we'd coordinated the diversion.

"Gods, is she alright?" I hear Raman mutter, annoyed by the insignificant, ill female keeping him from talk of a better war horse.

"I think she needs some fresh air," Mahmud says, his face at first filled with concern as he searches through my veil. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I say in a breathless voice. "I need some fresh air, Master."

Mahmud's eyes bug out at my calling him "master" and he helps me to my feet. I confess, his strong arms around me have my heart pounding and body alive with awareness of how strong and male he is. How different I feel whenever I'm human with him!

"I'm sorry, your Majesty," Mahmud says to Raman. "I need to attend to her."

"By all means," Raman grumbles, indicating toward the doorway to the balcony, but ungracious in his tone.

"What's going on, Zahra?" Mahmud asks after he's led me out on a balcony overlooking the mountains. We're alone so I decide to loosen my tongue.

"He wants to use me as a broodmare! I'm not about to let you have a discussion about that without talking to me," I hiss through my veil. "The answer is, and will always be a no. Those dumb brutes are not of my kind. You make such a big deal about us being abominations, but to have a child with a brute would be an abomination to me."

"I would never let him do that to you, Zahra," Mahmud assures, his face is hot with rage at the thought and it gladdens me. "You should know I would never betray you like that."

"I almost didn't pretend to faint, Mahmud," I whisper, clutching the front of his shirt and shoving my veil aside so he can see the fear in my eyes. "You promised to protect me."

"I will protect you, Zahra," Mahmud says, his brow furrowing in compassion over how afraid I am. "Always."

"But we can't dodge him forever, he's the king of Kanan," I murmur, "It's tyranny to refuse him what he wants. What will we do?"

"I'm not sure," Mahmud says, "But we have to make ourselves so useful to him he wouldn't dream of insulting us."

"We should run away," I say with a shrug. "Go somewhere in the desert and live in a cave or something." I'm half joking, but a cave seems a way better alternative than sticking around with the plans King Raman has for me. 

"Zahra, be realistic," Mahmud says. "There is nowhere to go. Besides, Raman will kill us rather than give us up."

He's got a point unfortunately. Everywhere, Mahmud and I will be hunted for what we are if we reveal ourselves.

"I'm of the belief that you have to keep trying as long as you're alive." Images of my parents faces flash through my mind at the words. "Maybe you could use your magic," I murmur. "You could study it so you're more powerful. That would make you a irreplaceable asset to his royal fancy ass back there."

"You're suggesting I embrace my curse rather than keep it hidden?" Mahmud says, shaking his head at my suggestion. "Are you crazy? If they discover me I'll end up dead and you'll end up a broodmare. You can count on it."

"They'd have to catch me first, but I see your point," I say with a sigh. "Still, there has to be a way to use your gifts, cause that's what they are, to our advantage."

"Gifts... Zahra," Mahmud mutters, running a hand through his rich black hair. "I'm so confused. Ever since I've met you. You're beginning to frustrate me. "

"Only just beginning to?" I challenge, suddenly my face is inches from his... and am I imagining things or did his gorgeous brown eyes take a look at my lips momentarily?

My hands are shaking at my sides, fighting the urge to clasp his jaw in my hands and explore my curiosity over what a kiss with Mahmud would be like. But no... that's so wrong. I can't do that to him. He would never forgive me. He's so principled. He likes to follow rules. I use my shaking hands to cover myself again with the veil. "I'm happy you're alive, Mahmud, if you'd followed through with what you believed Kanan required of you, you wouldn't be alive anymore. Life is just waiting for you to take it and make what you want with it. The same can't be said for me. I have to wait for my rider to stop sulking and take control."

Mahmud frowns and I wonder if I took it too far with that last bit.

"I'll think about what you said, Zahra, maybe you're right," Mahmud says, running a hand over his five-o-clock shadow. "Did you try the veal?"

"Tempted, but I'm on a grass only diet," I say, chucking him under the chin and walking back inside the palace. Maybe I'll spend a little time on the "female" side of the room.

Like I'm supposed to.