- Four Years Later -

Zahra

Where is that rider of mine? I wonder, pacing back and fourth outside the tent in the sand. I'm in my human form, swathed in hot, stuffy, clothing, and since I hate Kanan's women clothing I'm impatient for Mahmud to return.

I'm inwardly kicking myself for asking if I could be in my human form during one of our errands instead of seen by everyone as a horse.

About twenty minutes ago, Mahmud disappeared into the tent of our contact. A man known as Taj the Undefiled. I haven't a clue were he got such a title, but since everything in Kanan seems focused on their very strict religious customs I assume the "Undefiled" title has something to do with a vow of celibacy or prayer.

Finally Mahmud and Taj exit the tent, a woman is with them and I stop, slack-jawed in my pacing at the sight of her. She's dressed in naught but a band of gold around her waist.

A second woman walks out clothed similarly after them.

Never mind about the celibacy theory then, unless his title is one of irony. Also if they're allowed to walk around like that then what am I doing wearing all these damned clothes?

I stifle a giggle at the look on Mahmud's red face as he tries not to look at the explicit nudity surrounding him.

"You look so young, my boy, hardly any whiskers on your chin yet," Taj says with a chuckle, holding his rotund belly. "Hard to believe you're a ranking officer of the king."

"Aye, sir," Mahmud says with a nod. "I've served the king for four years now."

"Have you never rested eyes on a naked woman before? I can arrange your first touch if you'd like... for a price."

Not his first time seeing a woman naked. I'll always be his first.

Except he doesn't see me as a woman.

My heart aches at the thought and I fight it off. I can't ruin what I have with Mahmud. I'd die for him. He's my life. He's my best friend, and partner in--everything. Mahmud quiets the wrath and fear in my heart and the memories of my tragic past. Our strange relationship is the best thing I have.

"No, thanks," Mahmud says with a nervous laugh, eyes everywhere but on the women.

"Dinah, my dove, will you share with this kind captain what you heard from the client?" Taj says to the younger of the two women.

She steps forward, looking not much older than I. Her black hair is braided suggestively across one of her breasts. She plays with the end of it, not looking Mahmud in the eye as she speaks.

"He said he was from Bandul, his accent was thick," the young woman says softly, her gaze darting up at Mahmud momentarily in admiration.

Every woman notices Mahmud like this. Simply seeing his face is enough to draw a tentative second look. His kind coffee-brown eyes, strong jaw, skin the color of rich honey, a full head of wavy dark brown hair, and white even teeth. Not only that he's grown tall, his shoulders have broadened with a thickly muscled build, and his face filled out with a strong jaw, growing into his ears.

"He said that he would kill Raman," Dinah continues. "At the prince's wedding."

"He said that to you?" Mahmud finally fixes his eyes on Dinah. "Why would he say that?"

"To sound powerful I think," Dinah says, her eyes meeting his. She shifts on her hips purposefully now that she's got Mahmud's attention. "Men like to do that. They like to feel powerful when they... take of the flesh." she closes her eyes and drops her bottom lip a little, touching the tip of her braid there.

A twinge of anger flushes through me when I notice Mahmud's gaze slip to her elaborately tattooed, full breasts.

I can't be jealous, that's not what it is. Mahmud is my best friend.

"I tell you, these girls never do me wrong and they hear everything," Taj says laughing. "And I do believe Dinah is taken with you, Mahmud. You look the same age. You might just get it for free."

"What was the man's name?" Mahmud's eyes snap back to Dinah's face and his mouth sets in a thin line and his brow furrows in concentration. "Do you recall?"

"He said to call him Tiger," Dinah says, rubbing the braid tip over her bottom lip again. "A tiger tattoo was on his arm."

"Thank you for the intel," Mahmud says to Taj, handing him a sack of gold. "The king appreciates your loyalty."

"I'll be sure to let him know if I hear anything else," Taj says, he motions his head at the girls to go back in the tent. They turn and I hold back a snort at the way Dinah shakes her rear end in clear view of Mahmud's eyeline before walking back into the tent.

Taj grins. "I'm telling you. Dinah wants you. She's a professional, boy!"

"The king is afraid of Bandul's growing hostility," Mahmud states, ignoring Taj's remark much to my pride. "Be sure to keep us informed if anyone else visits your establishment."

"Of course. But who's this?" Taj says, nodding at me.

My ears twitch back underneath the hood I wear. "I'm his--"

"Hold your tongue, Luna! I'm seeing her safely across town, she's classified," Mahmud answers, cutting me off. He winks in my direction.

"Classified, aye?" Taj cocks his head at me. "I'm very good at reading women, even when they are dressed like that. Bone structure is to die for. Good breeding. Is she royalty?"

Whether I'm in my horse or human form it's the same. Good bone structure. Great breeding!

I roll my eyes after Taj looks away from me.

"Good day to you, sir," Mahmud says, nodding his head and walking over to me and putting an arm around me so his hand slips around my waist.

The contact sends a shudder through me. Normally Mahmud doesn't touch me like that.

"Gods be with you, young Mahmud!" Taj shouts after us.

"That was unexpected, Zahra," Mahmud whispers to me.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Based on his name I wasn't expecting to find myself in the tent of a pimp," Mahmud mutters.

"I do believe it was ironic," I whisper back.

"I apologize for bringing you there. It wasn't a place for a lady's eyes," Mahmud says quietly.

I burst out laughing at that. "You know... I believe you're right. I'm pretty sure it was strictly catering to your gender. But you never know. My mother says her sister was in love with a woman."

Mahmud's huge eyes at my scandalous statement, so directly different to his own culture of origin, will give me fodder to tease him with it for at least the next week. I throw my hood off and let my black hair blow back in the dry desert wind. "Come on, Mahmud, you and I are both a couple of abominations damned to whatever horrible afterlife we've got waiting for us. At least according to the Kanan's Book of Loman. We should at least have fun up until then. Why did you say no to his offer?"

"I may be an abomination, but that doesn't mean I don't have standards," Mahmud says, withdrawing his hand from around my waist. "Besides. I was hoping to be in love for my--uh--first time."

"Aww, Mahmud!" I say with a grin, elbowing him. "You're a hopeless romantic, aren't you?"

"I may not be a mindless bull that humps everything that moves, but that doesn't make me a hopeless romantic," Mahmud says, face flushing all over again. "I don't know why we're talking about this!" Mahmud narrows his eyes at me and a mischievous grin spreads across his face as he says, "You may like teasing me, but what about you, Zahra? Are you a hopeless romantic?"

"You don't want to know," I say, using humor once again to divert away from the truth. I have to hold my tongue from saying what is truly on my mind, and with that all my teasing flees from me and the familiar ache of loneliness bites into my heart.

"We can celebrate though," Mahmud says, sensing my sudden somberness. "The man we're looking for has a tiger tattoo. Raman's guards will simply check every man's arm as they enter the palace for the wedding. Would you like to come with me to the wedding as a human?"

"Why?" I ask.

"I just thought you might like a better dinner than the usual hay and oats they serve you in the cavalry stables," Mahmud says with a shrug. "The king has the best chefs prepping for the wedding feast."

"What are you talking about? Hay and oats are totally underrated," I say with a giggle. "But I don't see the harm in dressing up and going to a party."