Mahmud

My heart pounds in my chest. My own vomit drips over my tunic. All my weapons have been removed from me.

The sound of beautiful music from King Raman's palace plays loudly as Baynon and Faskar lead me to the armory. A mockery to how I currently feel.

My entire world seemingly has ended. Damn that stupid dream. Damn that awful prophesy.

I don't even want to be king!

I just want a life with her.

My own father was executed before my eyes. I can still see the blood. In war I've seen men die. But to witness my own father die... even if I did not feel loved or respected by my father, he is still the man who raised me.

Jakkar, of all people, stands at his station, guarding the armory. He raises his eyebrows upon seeing Baynon and Faskar escorting me with my hands tied.

"What did you do?" Jakkar asks, the years have changed Jakkar, he is not the youthful bully I once knew, serving together we've earned each other's respect. "Mahmud is a good man, Baynon."

"A good man?" Baynon sneers. "A good man who fucks his horse!"

"No, she is not a horse, Baynon, she is a woman, a woman that I love," I say, and spit on his shoes.

"What?" Jakkar seems confused, he looks to me with a confused expression.

"A horse witch, an abomination!" Faskar says.

General Hassak approaches us, and the men stand at attention. "I was told by the king that you are to unshackle Mahmud and treat him with respect."

Baynon and Faskar both hesitate.

"Did I not speak clearly?" General Hassak barks, anger in his tone.

"Yes, Sir!" The men say, immediately unfastening my bonds.

"Mahmud, you are to dress for the wedding and come to the courtyard at sunset, the ceremony will be held then. Do you understand?" General Hassak asks curtly.

"Is Zahra alright?" I ask him.

"She has agreed to the king's terms and the king in his generosity granted her the boon of seeing you respected and your honor remaining intact during your wedding, I also believe you already know what will happen if you do not cooperate," General Hassak says. "I am also instructed to tell both Private Faskar and Private Baynon that if they expose any of your youthful indiscretions to the masses they will be executed as promptly as your own father."

Youthful indiscretions, is that what we're calling it?

General Hassak looks to Jakkar. "As for you Sergeant Jakkar..."

Jakkar's eyes widen. "General, sir, I didn't hear shit."

"Very good," General Hassak says. "Now clean yourself up and dress for your wedding, Captain."

I don't need him to say anything more, I turn from the armory to the barracks, feeling completely dead inside.

If Zahra agreed to the kings terms it might mean she very well has to sleep with King Raman tonight. The image of that in my head sticks and won't leave me.

General Hassak hands me a small dagger as I leave. "I know you've had your weapons stripped from you, Captain. However the king is allowing you this dagger, in case you decide to take the honorable way out." General Hassak hands me a note. "And this is from the horse witch."

I'm being encouraged to commit suicide. King Raman, despite all his sadism and gloating, is afraid of me, and he's hoping I decide to end it myself so the prophesy is not fulfilled. He hopes I decide to give up the ghost just so he can continue to comfortably rule.

I open the note once I've return to the Barracks. It reads, "Mahmud, I want you to do what the king asks. I want you to marry Princess Lilly. I love you, Mahmud. I love you enough to choose you over me. A young boy once took me to the wilds and was going to end it all. I urge you not to. I urge you to choose life. I will choose life too. I believe we will be together again, Mahmud, but we must live to see that happen. The king will keep me in his harem and I will serve him as Shala does, but I will be protected for the time being. I will be safe from harm, I will live as good as any woman in Kanan can, and you will be a prince of Kanan. One day to be king."

How it must have pained her to swallow all her pride and say those words! I hate that this was done to us. I hate that I am the one responsible. I should have never said she was my sister! What kind of fool was I? I'd only wanted her safely escorted out of the Barracks.

The sun shines brightly through my window and I curse the day I was born. I've only brought pain. I've only brought trouble. My own father died because of me, and now Zahra is the king's crosshairs because of what I am and what I was prophesied to become.

"Why would you do this to us?" I ask of the gods. "What is your purpose in this?" Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I begin to sob. "Please, I beg of you. Spare Zahra from the king's touch. I cannot stomach such a thought. And I know Zahra is likely dying inside knowing she may have to." Zahra's rebellious dignity, determination, and wit has carried me through every storm, and to imagine her disgraced, degraded, or defeated lights my entire being with a burning rage.

I dress in a new uniform, as I fasten my clothes in place I grimace at the thought of wedding another. All I can think of is Zahra.

A knock on my door makes my gut twist, my heart pangs me as I open the door to see General Hassak has arrived to escort me to the ceremony.

"The king is mad, listening to a prophesy," the General comments.

"Why don't you tell him how you really feel, General?" I ask, my teeth grit as I bite back bile.

"He is superstitious, and for good reason, magic is alive and well in all of Axus, it always has been and always will be," General Hassak says.