Edward sparkles in the sunlight like diamonds. Shine bright like a diamond, Edward.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

We learn that Edward has nice breath.

Then to prove to Bella that he's a monster, he rips limbs from a tree and throws them. Bella is terrified and thinks he has never been so beautiful.

He also says that Bella has a particularly tasty scent and that's why she's so hard for him to resist. He is unsettlingly open about how badly he wants to kill her for her blood. Bella asks if there's any hope for herself and is amazed at how calmly she faces her own death.

I would be freaking the heck out but my anxiety is way better than it was a few days ago. Edward doesn't scare me right now. I just think this book is the stupidest thing I've ever read. At the start, for awhile really, it wasn't that bad. But these past two chapters have been SO BAD. The sentences keep getting more stupid.

There is an awkward scene where Edward rests his head on Bella's neck so that he can listen to her heart. As he holds her, Bella realizes it could become too much for him at any moment, and he could end her life, but she remains calm.

Bella doesn't want to hike back because she's a worthless wimp, so she clings to Edward's back while he hops around the woods like a spider monkey.

Then he won't let Bella drive home because he says she's "intoxicated by [his] very presence." This is Edward, telling Bella, that Bella is drunk on Edward.

Thus we come to page 285. *Weeps for the end*

I'm going to go read The Charlatan's Boy for two hours and wash my mind.