Chapter 43: Taste of Blood

I found myself floating in the middle of infinite darkness. "Where am I?"

My head turned in different directions, desperate to find a light— a passage to escape. But as I turned and moved around, my chest continued to tighten as if it was about to explode. "Hello?"

I tried to open my mouth and call somebody for help, but I stopped, thinking about a name that would help me. "Please . . . help me."

I ran, one of my hands outstretched as if it could hold on something to hold onto until I stumbled. My eyes stung and wide open. I gasped as I clutched my chest, unable to utter another word. Until unfamiliar arms crawled from my back, embracing me, and then a whisper of a woman's voice in my ear. "You'll have to kill him . . ."

***

"No!"

My eyes opened abruptly despite the pain. I knew even if I was not in front of the mirror that my eyes were all swollen. After all those endless cries, I felt so heavy and tired that even if I had plenty of sleep, I felt so weak.

"Then you'll have to kill me." Muli ko na namang naalala ang mga salitang iyon ni Tobias.

Kaya ba ganoon na lang din ang panaginip ko dahil sa salitang iniwan niya sa akin?

Hindi ko na namalayan na nakatulog na ako sa pag-iyak at nagising akong naririnig ang paulit-ulit niyang boses. Maging ang paraan ng titig niya sa akin at ang pagtalikod niya kasabay ng pagbagsak niya ng pinto.

I pressed my forehead with one of my arms. I hated this headache.

All I could see was a blur as if everything was swirling, but as I slowly breathed, trying to calm myself, my world stopped spinning. I pressed my palms on the bed as I pushed myself to sit. I looked around, the room was dimly lit by small candles. There was still a storm with strong winds, dark clouds, and heavy rain.

I sighed.

I closed my eyes again for a moment before I opened them. I left the bed, barefooted, I dashed to the door to discover that it was locked. "Fuck."

Nasapo ko ang aking noo at napasandal na ako sa upuan. I frustratingly pressed my palm on my forehead before I ran my fingers through my hair. Tobias was serious about his words. Wala siyang balak sundin ang napagkasunduan namin.

I was hoping that he was true to his words. Akala ko ay may isang salita siya! Sumunod ako sa kasunduan namin. I tried to listen to him. I trusted him.

Napaupo na ako sa likuran ng pinto, niyakap ang mga binti ko at isinubsob roon ang mukha ko. Bakit kailangan niya pa akong ikulong sa lugar na ito? Ano ang magiging tulong ko sa kanya habang naririto ako? Dagdag problema niya pa ako at isa iyon sa bagay na hindi ko kailanman pinangarap, ang maging pabigat.

Tumayo akong muli at sinimulan kong kalampagin ang pinto. "Tobias! Let me out! Please!"

Ngunit walang nakakarinig sa akin, sa halip ay mas malakas na kulog at kidlat ang nangyari dahilan kung bakit napatalon at napasigaw ako sa gulat. "Please! Let me out!"

Mas malalakas na ang sigaw at hampas ko sa pinto ngunit wala pa rin nakaririnig sa akin. "Tatalon ako sa bintana!"

Hindi pa rin nabubuksan ang pinto kaya malalaki ang hakbang ko sa bintana. Ngunit nang subukan ko iyong buksan ay hindi man lang iyon gumalaw. Napaatras pa ako nang tila tatama na sa akin ang kidlat. Halos sabunutan ko ang sarili ko sa sobrang inis.

Bumalik ako sa may pinto at wala akong tigil sa pagkalampag pero tila ako lang ang nilalang sa palasyo ng Parsua Deltora na kahit mapaos ako sa kasisigaw at dumugo na ang mga kamay ko sa paghampas sa pinto ay walang nangyayari.

"Sa tingin mo ba ay titigil ako! I know how to return to my world! Kung iniisip mo na susuko na ako nagkakamali ka! Makakatakas ako!"

Buong akala ko ay makatatagal ako sa harap ng pinto sa paulit-ulit na paghampas at pagsigaw, ngunit kanina ko pang nararamdaman ang panghihina ng katawan ko. I remembered Rosh's words, he told me that I should take blood for my strength to replenish. Hinding-hindi ko iyon gagawin. There was no point of awakening my vampire blood again, I'd leave this world soon and I'd forget everything once I crossed the mirror.

Buo na ang desisyon ko.

Ang huli kong natatandaan ng gabing iyon ay ang malakas na bagyo, ang malamlam na liwanag mula sa mga kandila at ang pag-iisip ko kung saan posibleng itinago ni Tobias ang salamin sa palasyo.

***

I already expected that I'd not see Tobias for weeks and he'd just send his brother, Rosh, or his servants to assist me because of what happened. I felt his anger and I knew that it would take some time to subside, but when I woke up that morning, he was already seated on a winged chair near my bed with a book in his hand.

Kaiba noon na agad niya akong binabati ng ngiti, nanatili siyang naroon ang atensyon sa hawak niyang libro. Hindi ko na siya pinansin, agad akong bumaba sa kama at tumakbo na ako patungo sa pinto para buksan iyon. But it was locked!

Napahampas na ako sa pinto bago ako lumingon sa kanya. But he was just casually flipping his book without looking at me. "Let me go."

Hindi niya ako pinansin at nagpatuloy siya sa pagbabasa ng kanyang libro. "Tobias, I said let me go. This is nonsense! Wala na akong maalala! Ayoko nang makaalala!"

He stopped reading. He sighed, closed his book, and placed it carefully on his crossed legs before he met my eyes. "You look pale. You have to drink blood."

My mouth hung open. Hindi niya ba narinig ang sinabi ko?

"No!"

Itinuro niya ang lamesa malapit sa kama ko. "You can drink with that glass. You can't see the blood."

Nag-init ang mga mata ko sa baso na nakapatong sa lamesa. He was right I couldn't see what was inside, but even if it was, I'd never drink it.

Paano niya pa naisip na nais kong uminom nito gayong gusto ko nang umuwi?

Iritable kong itinulak ang lamesa dahilan kung bakit natapon ang dugo nasa pitsel at baso. I saw how his clasped hands on his lap tightened and how his jaw clenched. He had to hate me to throw me away. He had to push me. He had to give up on me.

Hindi nagsalita si Tobias at nakipagsukatan siya ng tingin sa akin. He took the bell from his small table and rang it. I was waiting for the servants to open the door, but he seemed aware of my plans since he replaced my servants with those who could create a small portal of their own.

May dala na muli ang mga itong tray at hindi man nila sabihin iyon ay alam kong dugo iyon. "You have to drink." Ulit ni Tobias.

Umiling ako sa kanya. "You can't force me, Tobias." Mas mariin sabi ko.

Hindi niya ako sinagot sa halip ay tinanaw niya ang kapapasok na mga babaylan. "You can leave it here."

Itinuro niya iyong lamesa na malapit sa kanya. Agad sumunod sa kanya ang mga babaylan at ipinatong na iyon sa lamesa at nang matapos iyon ay kapwa sila yumuko para magpaalam. When the portal opened and they were about to cross it, I quickly dashed to it. I was even motivated to push one of them, but Tobias was no longer in his seat, he was already beside me with his hand in my arms.

Pumipiglas ako sa kanya at pilit akong nanlalaban ngunit hanggang sa maglaho ang mga babaylan at mawala ang lagusan ay nanatili akong hawak ni Tobias. Pinakawalan niya lang ako nang masigurado niyang wala na akong matatakbuhan. Iritable akong humarap sa kanya at pinaghahampas ko ang dibdib niya.

"Hayaan mo na ako!"

"I tried to be gentle with you the moment you stepped into this world, Kezalli. I told myself that I shouldn't resort to this way, but you are forcing me to take this path."

Natigil ako sa paghampas sa kanya nang pigilan ako ng kamay niya. I tried to pull away, but his eyes were ablaze with mine. "Bitawan mo ko."

His jaw clenched, veins were prodded on his hand as he pulled me closer, and our chests were heavily heaving, but in the end, he let go. He turned his back, returned to his seat, and took his book again.

"You should drink. Don't wait for me to force it on you. If you can't bite me or you're not comfortable with my fangs, at least drink with that glass, Kezalli Lanoire."

Halos hindi na maipinta ang mukha ko habang nakatitig sa lalaking nasa harapan ko. Yes, I planned to make him angrier. It was my plan for him to push me and reach his limit, but to witness him like this as if he was a completely different stranger, I could no longer see the tenderness in his eyes.

"I will not drink that!"

"You are going to drink," ulit niya.

Inilahad niya ang isa niyang palad sa lamesa na malapit sa kanya. "Come here."

Hindi ko siya muli pinansin at nagtungo ako sa bintana. Sinubukan ko muling buksan ang mga iyon, ngunit habang ginagawa ko iyon ay bigla na lang ako napasapo sa aking noo nang tila umikot ang mundo ko.

Napamura ako.

"See? You need blood."

"No!"

Nang lumingon ako sa kanya ay wala na siya sa upuan. Nagsisimula na siyang maglakad habang hawak niya ang baso.

"Stay away from me! Hindi ko iinumin iyan! Itatapon ko iyan!"

"Do you think I'll watch you kill yourself, Kezalli?"

Napapaatras na ako habang papalapit siya sa akin, hanggang sa siya na mismo ang siyang uminom ng dugo na nasa baso.

He quickly threw the cup from his hand, rolling on the carpeted floor until it stopped on the wall. Suddenly, he disappeared in front of my eyes, and before I knew it, I felt his strong arms around me. I struggled against him, but everything was like a blur. Until I found ourselves on my bed, I was on his lap, his eyes were crimson red, and his fangs were bared.

I tried to move my hands to stop him, clawing his face, but he was stronger. He was not even flinching. Tobias covered my eyes until I felt his lips and the familiar taste of the blood in my mouth.

Even with the palm covering my eyes, I could feel my every gulp, the movement of my throat, and how I stopped struggling as I let the taste of the blood overwhelm me. I expected that I'd spill it, or I'd vomit right after I tasted it, but the blood in his mouth to mine felt like water in a desert— something that my lips, mouth, throat, and whole body had been waiting for.

The claws and how I struggled against him changed as I looped my arms around his nape, savoring the feeling of his blood in his mouth with mine. The kicking of my legs stopped, and they moved against the mattress with a sense of delight, as if I could grasp Tobias more tightly to prevent his escape.

Tinanggal na ni Tobias ang pagkakatakip ng mga mata ko at nagmamadali siyang tanggalin ang pagkakabutones ng kasuotan niya. He was trying to lead my head on his neck to bite him, but I snapped. I pushed him. I crawled backwards on that bed as I glared at him with accusation.

His lips were covered by blood as he wiped it with the back of his hand. His eyes were still red and there were claw marks on his cheeks. "See? That's the taste of blood, love."

Hindi na ako makapagsalita habang bumababa na siya sa kama. "If you're trying to play stubborn, Kezalli, you'll receive your every meal like that."

"Y-you are force-feeding me!" sigaw ko.

Hinarap niya akong muli. "I am trying to keep you alive. You just recently converted into a vampire. You need blood. I don't want to watch my mate dying of stubbornness."

"I . . . I hate you!" sigaw kong muli.

He stopped. I saw a sudden flash of emotions in his eyes, but he quickly pulled it together. "Yes. It's terrible for you that I'd never feel the same because I love—"

Hindi na ako maniwala sa kanya.

I didn't know what happened, but with the blood that I had tasted, I felt that power, strength, and sudden speed. I left the bed and found myself pushing him— in a moment, we were on the floor. I was sitting on his stomach, my hands were trembling on his throat, and the long hair that I didn't notice had grown was hovering around us.

"P-please . . . let me go. I don't deserve you," I almost said in a whisper.

He slowly shook his head. "You'll have to kill me before I let you go."