"Sam, go with your dad, ha?" Mom sweetly said, I'm having a video call with her. Nasa America siya while I'm here in the Philippines for a short vacation, trying to stick with my dad because my mom said so. I have a twin brother at siya naman 'yong kasama ni mom sa US.

"No, mom. I just want to stay at home."

I really hate going to parties and socializing with people. I'm really not good with it and also try to add the fact that I'm not fluent in any language and my accent just sucks.

"Go with your dad, son. He will feel lonely if you'll not go." Mom pleaded and because it's her, argh! It's really hard to reject the idea because I don't want to hurt her.

"Okay, mom. I'll talk to him." I got up and went out of my room to talk to him.

He wasn't inside his room so I went to his office, it's actually my first time to went inside it and I'm kind of surprised to see that it was actually spacious and the interior design was really nice.

"Mom said I should go with you," napipilitan kong sambit. If it's not because of mom, I will never ever go to that place!

"Aba, dapat lang!" Dad smirked like he's enjoying my reaction.

I shrugged my shoulders and was about to go out when my eyes caught the frame on the side. It was my parents with another family? I'm not sure.

I was surprised and kind of curious kaya nilapitan ko 'yon at tinitigan. There were four girls in the photo that I'm not familiar with, 'yong dalawa sa kanila ay mukhang kaedad ni mommy at daddy, samantalang 'yong dalawa naman ay kasing edad ko lang o mas bata.

My eyes strangely focused on the girl with long black wavy hair. She's so white, almost like a paper. Hindi ba siya nagpapaaraw? But uh...looking at her almond-shaped eyes, perfectly-shaped nose and brows, rosy bow-shaped lips..

S-She's insanely beautiful, like it's a sin to stare at her.

Sino ba sila? At bakit ba kasama sila nila daddy?

"What are you staring at, Sam?" My mind went back to reality when dad asked me pero agad din naman akong umiling at itinigil 'yong kung anumang nasa isip ko.

"Nothing, dad."

My hands were sweating when we arrived at the venue, there were so many people that I suddenly want to go home! Bago kami makarating sa loob ay maraming nakausap si daddy, maybe some famous business personalities that he knows or maybe his friends. My dad is kind of friendly at kilala siya sa business world dahil sa talento pagdating sa negosyo, and he's a well-known surgeon too.

"Sam, try to talk to some girls." He encouraged me pero wala naman akong interes sa gano'n, I'd rather stay on my seat and play some games. Gano'n na nga ang ginawa ko ngunit sa sobrang tagal ay hindi ko talaga napigilang mabored.

I saw a grand staircase at bigla naman akong nakaramdam ng pagkakuryuso sa kung anong mayroon doon sa taas.

I sighed and stood, maybe I should check it, hindi naman yata pinagbabawal.

I was about to climb up when a little girl bumped unto me.

"Sorry!" She gave me a smile and her whisker dimples showed.

"Charlie, dahan-dahan kasi." Another girl showed up and I suddenly remembered that she's the governor's daughter, Kristianna Isabella.

I shrugged my shoulders saka ako nagsimulang umakyat sa hagdan. Iba't ibang gawaing sining ang nakita ko but since I'm not artsy, hindi ako masyadong nagtagal do'n, although I appreciate that those are great artworks.

I decided to just roam around the floor hoping that I will see something aside from artworks. Hindi nga ako nagkamali, sa hindi kalayuan ko ay natanaw ko ang isang balkonahe.

Fresh cold air greeted me when I went closer at mas lalo lang akong nanlamig no'ng mapagtanto kung may tao pala ro'n. Standing there was a very fair lady, whose hair was almost touching her waist, she has a crown on her hair, which made her look like a princess kahit na nakatalikod pa. I looked at what she's doing and I realized that she's tracing the stars using her fingers.

I suddenly wonder if I should just walk away. I stepped back but it seems like she noticed my movement kaya bigla siyang lumingon. She looked surprised when she saw me.

Ako din, nasurpresa. I didn't expect that the girl that I'm staring at the picture earlier today would suddenly show up in front me. For a moment, I thought she was a ghost!

She looked at me intently with her calm eyes. Habang ako ay nakatulala lang sa kanya at hindi malaman ang gagawin, my heart was racing so fast that I wondered if I have some heart disease.

Matagal siyang tumingin sa akin and I strangely couldn't take my eyes off her, too. She's beautiful in the picture but seeing her this close, I realized that she's even more beautiful in person.

Nanlamig ako no'ng bigla siyang humakbang papalapit sa akin. Anong gagawin niya?

"Hi, I'm Julianna." She quickly said and then gave me a small smile. She also extended her hand.

I suddenly want to hold my chest dahil sa abnormal na pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Anong nangyayari? She.. S-She want a shakehands?

I...I haven't touch other girl's hand except my mom!

I don't know what have gotten into me at natagpuan ko nalang 'yong sarili ko na tumatakbo palayo. Damn, that was so gay! Anong nalang iisipin niya?

That scene was still stucked on my mind kahit na nakabalik na kami ng US. I felt so embarrassed because of my reaction. I suddenly wondered if my action seemed mean to her? I shouldn't have done that, I guess.

"Problemado ka?" Jeremiah asked me when he noticed my crumpled face.

"No."

Even mom asked if I'm okay. Tss, I'm really okay, I'm just...I'm still resenting myself for leaving that way. Felt like I need to redeem myself dahil kung hindi ay baka patuloy ko pa rin 'yong isipin. I don't want to go crazy because of that!

I also wondered if who is she, it seems like she's also from a wealthy family. I mean...I could say that because of her vibes.

"Hindi ka ba crush ng crush mo?" Jeremiah asked again after noticing my problematic face. I glared at him dahil puro gano'n 'yong alam niya. He's my twin but he's so different compared to me. He loves socializing with people and he has a lot of crushes!

A year later, I don't know what have gotten into me dahil agad akong pumayag no'ng sinabi ni daddy na isasama niya ako pabalik ng Pilipinas, sa Luna del Fuego at do'n na ako magpapatuloy ng pag-aaral. Pumayag din naman si mom dahil do'n din naman siya lumaki at nag-aral dati, sila ni dad actually.

Dad enrolled me on a famous elementary school in town and I didn't expect that I would encounter that girl right on my first day in school.

I was busy looking for my room when I accidentally bumped into someone, pareho yata kaming hindi nakatingin sa dinadaanan. She even dropped her ipad at buti nalang ay hindi nabasag.

I swear, my chinky eyes widened when I realized that it was her. I'm so shocked that I couldn't even say a word again.

The bell rang and she's the one who ran away that time. Pakiramdam ko nga naalala niya mukha ko kaya gumanti siya. Uh, well. I think I deserve that.

I strangely felt relieve when I learned that she's on the same school as mine and that even intensified when I discovered that she's my classmate.

Julianna Astrid Del Estrella.

That's her name.

She's an outcast like me. I'm sure of that.

She's also not good in socializing with people, she's always alone, but I guess she's still better than me dahil minsan ay nakakausap niya pa rin 'yong mga kaklase namin samantalang ako'y hindi.

She's intelligent and respected by many. I'm right with my prediction that she came from a wealthy family, because of the gossips, I learned that she's the heiress of the Del Estrella Empire, which is one of the biggest business companies in Asia.

She's like a princess, she's smart, she's beautiful, she seems nice, she's graceful and elegant, she's rich and popular. But I don't understand why it always looks like she's sad. Money can't really buy happiness, huh? She seems mysterious that's why I got curious about her. I actually want to ask about her family's connection with us but I just couldn't ask dad about it dahil baka kung ano nanaman ang isipin niya.

I'm well aware that I'm branded as the most silent person in class but that didn't bother me dahil sanay naman ako at wala naman akong pakialam sa sinasabi nila.

A lot of people in school praised me because I'm good in Math but hell, I really suck in Filipino and History, alam ko 'yon. Dad is blaming my quietness, kaya hindi raw ako natututo dahil hindi ko naman sinusubukang magsalita.

Months passed and I sometimes want to think that she's angry with me because all of my classmates have tried to talk to me, siya lang 'yong hindi. Hindi rin niya ako tinitingnan kagaya ng ginagawa ng iba. I wonder if she hates me because of what I did during our first meeting.

I was aware that there were a lot of girls who has a crush on me. Nadia De Almeida was one of them, I'm aware dahil halos araw-araw nalang ay may nanunukso and I sometimes find it annoying. Wala akong interes sa gano'n and I really don't think I will have a romantic attachment with someone. I know my goals well, and that's to become a great doctor and a successful businessman. But yeah, hindi nga dapat talaga nagsasalita ng tapos.

I really don't understand myself when I suddenly felt irritated when I saw a man approached him one day. Hindi ko napigilang lumapit, the guy seemed nice and formal at nagpakilala pa talaga. Tss. Julianna seemed surprised when she saw me behind her, ako din naman nagulat, sa sarili ko.

I had a bad mood that day kaya rin nagwalk-out ako no'ng nag-offer ng tulong si Nadia. Well, kahit naman hindi ako badtrip, hindi ko pa rin tatanggapin 'yon because I really feel like I will never get comfortable with her. Mali lang ako dahil hindi ko siya kinausap ng maayos and I was truly sorry for that.

"Smile."

I really smiled when I saw the sticky note. Well, I also saw who gave this to me. I saw Miss Snow White running so fast in order not to get caught and I suddenly want to laugh. Kidding aside, she really looked like a real princess with her beauty and costume.

Pero nakakainis, bakit ba ang saya-saya ko? Ang sabi 'smile' lang pero naging masayang-masaya na ako. Hindi ko na yata kilala sarili ko.

"Julianna, are you okay?" I immediately looked in front when I heard that. My eyes widened when I saw her holding her head while her eyes started to water. Anong nangyayari? That was the first time I saw her weak side.

I caught her right before her head touch the floor when she suddenly collapsed. I panicked and I immediately brought her to the clinic. I don't understand why I suddenly acted that way, pero inisip ko nalang na kaya ako gano'n dahil gusto kong maging doctor. Maybe I did that because of my instinct to help.

She seemed fine and calm again the next days so I forced myself to stop worrying.

I could say that she became more competitive when it comes to academic during our last grade in elementary. I really admire her perseverance, dahil halos sa tuwing nakikita ko siya ay nagbabasa siya o di kaya ay nagsusulat. But I don't like that she looked pressured at parang laging nangangamba, I wondered if her parents were pressuring her.

Samuel,

I'm sorry if it took me a while before saying this but I really want to thank you for catching me and bringing me to the clinic that day. I really appreciate your help.

I hope that someday I can also help you in return. Thank you!

-Julianna D.

I want to smile dahil nag-abala pa talaga siyang magbigay ng letter pero napapaisip ako kung bakit 'yong lalaki na 'yon 'yong nag-abot sa akin.

Close sila? Bakit at paano sila naging close?

Argh. Napasabunot ako sa ulo ko.

"Ginagawa mo?" I glared at my brother pero tinawanan lang niya ako. "Babae ba yan? Magsabi ka lang, tulungan kita."

I'm not a womanizer, I don't even have a crush!

Teka, c-crush?

My eyes widened. Crush ko ba siya? Hindi pwede 'yon!

Mom made me decide kung saan ako mag-aaral ng highschool. I was actually torned but I ended up choosing Harisson University because mom wanted me to be with dad, sa Pilipinas muna kasi siya mamamalagi for our business expansion. And yeah, gusto ko rin na sa Luna del Fuego ako mag-aaral.

I was strangely so happy when I saw her in class during the first day of school. Magkaklase ulit kami and I couldn't explain myself when I almost attempted to start a conversation with her. Buti nalang ay hindi ko tinuloy, buti nalang nahiya ako. I would've looked like a fool kung ginawa ko 'yon dahil sino ba ako?

Habang tumatagal ay mas lalong nagiging malinaw sa akin ang nararamdaman ko.

Maybe she's indeed my crush dahil naiirita ako sa tuwing may nagbibigay ng mga bulaklak, chocolates, at letters sa kanya. Ang daming may gusto sa kanya at karamihan pa sa mga 'yon ay may substance, minsan ay hindi ko maiwasang maliitin ang sarili ko kahit na alam ko rin na maraming may gusto sa akin.

I did what the other guys do. I also gave her gifts pero hindi naman yata niya napapansin but she's still so considerate to bring the gifts home. I admire her even more because of that.

I hate myself for being shy and not being able to talk to her. I'm always hoping that someday my shyness will suddenly go away so I can finally talk to her. God is no nice because He made that happen.

It may seem as an embarrassment to her but it was actually a blessing for me.

When I saw the two big dots of blood on her jogging pants ay hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa na lumapit sa kanya, ayokong may makakita pang iba at pagtawanan siya.

I could still remember her face, she was so surprised and confused when she looked at me. Oo nga pala, ang lapit ko masyado. It was the first time that I was so near her.

"Why?"

I told him what I saw and I also saw how it made her uncomfortable. Uh yeah, I know it's embarrassing but her reaction was just so cute. I lent her my jacket before I disappeared dahil tinamaan na naman ako ng lintik na hiya.

"Who hit the ball?" The crazy guy asked but I just smirked. I was the one who hit it and yes, sinadya ko 'yon. I saw how he made Julianna uncomfortable kaya nararapat lang sa kanya 'yon. I think I'm still going to do that kahit na hindi si Julianna because I believe that a woman's private space should be respected regardless of what and who she is.

I badly want to punch him pero hindi ako katulad niyang basagulero kaya hindi ko 'yon gagawin. Heaven came, I was thankful but I really hate the way he looked at Julianna. Parang may laman, parang iba. Tss.

He likes her? I hate the idea dahil kumpara sa akin ay mas may substance siya. He's a top student, a football player, student council officer, wealthy, while I'm just rich and handsome, matalino nga sa Math pero bobo naman sa ibang subject.

I could still remember the day when someone suddenly placed a tray in front of me while I'm eating at the canteen. It was so gay to say but damn, I literally held my breathe when I saw who it was.

"Hi, I'm Julianna."

I furrowed my brows. Akala ba niya hindi ko siya kilala? Teka, medyo nakakaoffend ah, bobong bobo na ba ako sa paningin niya?

"I'm just saying that kasi baka hindi mo pa ako kilala."

I stared at her for a while after she said that.

Damn, ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. So gay.

But shit, patapos na pala akong kumain, mukhang mawawalan pa ako ng dahilan para manatili sa table ah. I actually want to say something kahit 'hi' nalang but damn, I couldn't locate my tongue.

"I have a proposal."

Damn, instead of looking at her ay inabala ko nalang 'yong sarili ko sa natitirang pagkain sa plato ko. Anong proposal? It's making me nervous.

"Teach me Math."

WHAT?

I'm thankful that I didn't choke on my food. Napakurap pa ako ng ilang beses, she wants me to teach her Math? Dahil ba para sa kanya matalino ako sa Math?

My ears want to clap!

I looked at her for a bit before I brought my eyes back to the plate.

"In return, I will teach you Filipino and English."

Uh yeah, I think she just slapped me the truth that I'm smart and dumb at the same time. Medyo nakakahiya, dapat pala ay nakinig ako kay daddy sa mga payo niya dati, kung ginawa ko 'yon hindi na siguro ako mahina sa Filipino ngayon.

Damn! Nasa huli nga talaga ang pagsisisi.

Umalis ako hindi dahil sa ayaw ko, umalis ako dahil nahihiya ako. I'm actually willing to teach her without even having something in return but that will be suspicious, right?

I have until six to show up, I spent an hour to calm myself para naman hindi ako mapahiya sa harapan niya.

I made sure that I'm already cool before facing her. She was surprised, did she think that I will not come? Damn, I really think I made a bad first impression on her.

Our first tutorial sessions weren't that good because of me, I am preventing myself for speaking because I'm shy. I feel ashamed that I lacked social skills, nahihiya ako ng sobra sa kanya. I'm just thankful that she didn't lose her patience on me even if I'm really weird and off.

"I'm sleepy." I placed my head on the desk. Naiinis ako dahil gusto niya akong makipag-usap sa babaeng naghahanap sa akin. Hindi naman ako interesado sa iba, sa kanya lang ako interesado, pero naiinis din ako sa sarili ko dahil ang gulo ko. Gusto ko siyang kausapin pero kapag nandyan siya bigla nalang ako natatahimik at walang kwentang mga salita lang ang nabibitawan ko.

She seemed so happy every time she got a high score, especially in Math. I feel like that subject is really a challenge to her or maybe she's just obsessed with high grades kaya kahit magaling naman na siya ay nagpapaturo pa rin siya. I don't know, pero kahit alin naman doon, wala pa rin akong balak na ibahin 'yong tingin ko sa kanya.

I like her the way she is, she's a great woman and I like everything about her. And yeah, kinakain ko na 'yong sinasabi kong hindi ako magkakaroon ng romantic attachment because I now have it. With her.

"Eros pangalan niya."

Teka, sino nanaman 'yon? Maliban kay Heaven may nagpakilala nanaman sa kanya? At ano ba? Nagseselos ba ako?

I hate it, dapat ay hindi ako gano'n, I don't have the right and it's wrong to deprive her from socializing with other people.

I tried to be a good guy for her, I tried to be better. I took her advice in order to learn Filipino faster, I'm even taking online classes to make it even faster, but then she's still the best teacher.

"Nana. Ikaw si Nana!" I tried to be funny and make her laugh pero nainis pa yata. Wrong move ko naman.

"Hey." She tried to remove her hand from my grip pero mas hinigpitan ko 'yon. Damn, alam kong mali but I couldn't stop myself. Her hand was so smooth and small, I like holding it. I squeezed it and I felt her tremble.

"Hey! Let go of my hand."

Thinking that she might be really uncomfortable with it, I let go of her hand and just smiled at her.

"You're here, bakit?" She asked when she saw me, she's with Heaven and it's making my blood boil. I hate myself for sleeping dahil hindi ko tuloy siya nasamahan.

"Lunch." I reminder her dahil baka nakalimutan niya. I'm glad she went to the canteen with me and ate, we had a great time together and I didn't expect that it would suddenly be ruined.

"Let me go. I need to go. Samuel please." She pleaded kaya wala na akong nagawa kundi hayaan nalang siya.

My curiosity about her condition intensified. I'm really worried about her dahil pakiramdam ko ay may tinatago siya, felt like it's not just a simple one. And mostly, it felt like it has something to do with the rain.

Matagal ko ng napapansin na lagi siyang hindi pumapasok kapag umuulan. I'm sure it's not just a simple laziness dahil kahit mismong exam ay kaya niyang ipagpaliban dahil do'n, others may not notice it but I'm always paying attention to her that's why I find it odd.

"Teacher is proud of you. Congrats!" She smiled and clinged unto my shirt and I couldn't help but smile too. Damn, she's making me crazy.

Talagang mas mag-aaral na ako ng maayos para lagi siyang maging proud sa akin. Gusto kong may maipagmalaki ako sa kanya at gusto kong maipagmalaki niya rin ako sa iba.

'Can't go to school today, I have a fever.'

She texted and I was so worried, although naiisip ko rin na baka excuse niya lang 'yon para hindi ako magduda sa pagliban niya dahil umuulan. At ang malas nga naman dahil may bagyo pala.

'What should I do? Help.'

I smirked. I could sense that she's really worried at nag-aalala rin ako dahil baka hindi pa maayos pakiramdam niya. I texted my suggestion kahit na alam kong hindi naman niya 'yon susundin.

'Come over our house, dito nalang tayo mag-aral.'

My eyes literally widened when I read her message. Is she serious? I suddenly want to punch myself dahil kung saan saan nanaman nakakarating 'yong isip ko. Pero seryoso ba siya?

And yeah, she was serious. I was so nervous on the way and when she asked me to sneak ay mas lalo 'yong tumindi. It was my first time to do that pero alam ko namang magagawa ko rin dahil no'ng bata pa kami ni Jeremiah ay lagi kaming nagpapaligsahan na umakyat hanggang rooftop and I always won.

"Okay ka na ba?" I immediately went near her and put the back of my hand on her forehead to check if she still have a fever. I noticed her flinched and I wonder why.

I'm glad to know that she's already okay. She brought me to her mini library inside her room and I was surprised to see a lot medical books on her shelf. Gusto kaya niyang magdoctor? But I think that will be tough because people, especially her family already expected her to run their empire in the future. I just wished that she'll not be swayed by people's expectations about her future.

"Stay here." My eyes widened. Okay lang naman kasi sa akin na manatili nalang sa labas at maghintay hanggang mag-umaga but she insisted na sa kwarto nalang niya ako matulog.

Honestly, I'm uncomfortable with the idea dahil never pa akong nakatulog sa kwarto ng isang babae, aside from my mom, of course.

It was so awkward, I know she's not comfortable with the idea but she's just too kind to not let me out of their house in a cold rainy night. Okay na ako sa sofa, but damn..

"Dito ka na matulog." She pointed the space near her. Shit! Malamig 'yong panahon pero pinagpapawisan ako, I swear wala naman akong iniisip na masama, hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan 'yong reaksyon ko.

"I'm fine here." I tried to reject her suggestion pero baka isipin niya na marumi pag-iisip ko kaya ayaw ko siyang tabihan. Ayoko ng gano'n! Tumayo ako at humiga na sa kama niya katabi siya, nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag no'ng hinarangan niya ng mga unan 'yong pagitan naming dalawa.

Tama yan, Astrid. But I swear wala naman talaga akong balak na masama!

"I won't. Good night!" I couldn't prevent myself from smiling kahit na nakapikit na ako. So gay, but damn!

We became closer as days went by, pakiramdam ko rin ay unti-unti na rin siyang nasasanay sa presensya ko. I want to ask her kung kaibigan na ba ang turing niya sa akin but damn, I'm so shy. Baka isipin pa niya na ang feeling close ko masyado.

"Are you ombrophohic?" I finally have the courage to ask her one day dahil nadulas siya bigla no'ng nagtanong ako.

She denied it but her reactions was telling me something. I'm not sure if she's really ombrophobic pero malakas talaga 'yong kutob ko na may kinalaman 'yong ulan sa sitwasyon niya.

I was so happy that I got to spend a day with her during the opening of the foundation week. She's smiling while giving me chocolates and that made my heart skip a beat. Damn, I'm smitten.

Nagpahula siya at dahil curious din ako ay sumunod ako sa kanya.

The weird bandana girl smiled at me. "Hi Mr. Yu!" Hindi na ako nagtaka na kilala niya ako dahil marami namang nakakakilala sa akin sa school na hindi ko naman kilala.

She held my hand and looked at it intently. She took a glance of me bago niya 'yon ibinalik sa palad ko.

"Mag-aasawa ka ng maaga at magkakaroon ng dalawang anak."

WHAT? That surprised me. I mean, maaga talaga akong mag-aasawa? Hula lang naman, hindi naman nagkakatotoo lahat ng hula.

"Magkakahiwalay kayo pero babalik ka rin para sa kanya."

Maghihiwalay? Bakit? I will not leave the person I love! I think she's just saying nonsense. Tumayo na ako. Hula lang 'to, ayoko ng makinig pa.

"Malulungkot ka." That's the last thing I heard before I went out.

"Hey! Are you okay?" I asked her because she immediately stepped back and stiffened when she saw that it's raining. Uh damn, the rain.

She's panicking so bad and when I saw the medicine that she's searching on her bag ay parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig 'yong sistema ko. It was Diazepam!

"Don't leave me. Please." She's crying heavily when she said that. Wala naman talaga akong balak na iwan siya, I'm just trying to ask for help but then, gaya nga ng hiling niya, hindi ko siya iiwan.

"I won't. Never." I seriously said, not knowing and thinking about the future.

I hugged her and tapped her back until she fell asleep. Agad ko na siyang dinala sa clinic no'ng makatulog siya and I stayed at her side hanggang dumating 'yong mommy niya.

I immediately searched the internet and even asked dad about her condition because I'm really worried about her.

I'm wondering if it's a trauma or a phobia, but she said that she's not ombrophobic, so it's a trauma then?

She avoided me after that and damn, it made me fvckin sad. Hindi ko alam kung anong mali at kung ano bang nagawa kong mali sa kanya. And it damn hurt me when I saw Heaven teaching her. Tapos na ba kami? Hindi na ba ako 'yong tutor niya? Ano bang nagawa kong mali?

"Is something wrong?" Hindi ko na napigilan 'yong sarili ko na lapitan siya at tanungin, I even grabbed her hand dahil kung hindi ko gagawin 'yon ay makakawala nanaman siya, ayoko ng mangyari 'yon.

She insisted that nothing is wrong but I know there is!

"Bakit ka concern?" She asked and uh damn.

I like you! Gusto kong sabihin 'yon pero wala akong lakas ng loob at natatakot akong baka mas lalo siyang umiwas sa akin.

"I think we're acquiantances." I answered, I hate myself! Sana 'friends' nalang sinabi ko kaso baka magmukhang feeling close ako.

"I have PTSD. Masaya ka na?" She said and the pain was evident in her eyes. Gusto ko siyang yakapin at gusto kong sabihin na malalampasan rin niya 'yon but damn, umurong nanaman 'yong dila ko at iba nanaman ang nasabi ko.

Pero kahit hindi ko man masabi, I'll make sure to keep her safe from the things that triggers her condition. I will protect and help her overcome it.

I also asked her about Heaven and damn, muntik na akong ngumiti dahil sa sinabi niya.

"And besides, ikaw lang 'yong tutor ko diba?"

Tangina kasi, pakiramdam ko mas magaling ako sa Heaven na 'yon.

Since the day she opened up with me ay mas lalo kaming naging malapit sa isa't isa. Siguro nga'y dahil pareho kaming outcast kaya madali naming nakasundo ang isa't isa. And I like her even more as days went by. Napapadalas din ang pagselos ko sa tuwing lumalapit sa kanya 'yong Heaven na 'yon, buti nalang ay hindi niya rin yata napapansin 'yong reaksyon ko.

I gave her gift that I personally made, I want it to be unique kaya naisipan kong ako nalang 'yong gumawa. Dad teased me about it when he saw me doing it pero hinayaan ko lang siya. I'm so happy when she also gave me a gift na siya rin mismo 'yong gumawa, felt like I'm special to her at sana nga totoo.

Naalala ko naman na kasama ko rin siya no'ng New Year countdown, it was really a coincidence. Laking pasasalamat ko sa kalikasan dahil tinawag niya ako bigla kaya napadpad ako do'n at nakita ko siya.

Mom and dad had a fight, it was really intense that mom even asked dad a divorce. Dad's crying the whole fvckin day so I had no choice but to watch him dahil baka kung ano ang maisipan niyang gawin. It was so troublesome that I had to skip classes. Buti nalang ay naayos din pagkatapos ng ilang araw kaya nakapasok na rin ako sa school.

I had no idea that Julianna was so worried about me at wala rin akong idea na kumalat pala 'yong issue ng mga magulang ko sa school. Damn, dahil do'n ay nagtampo siya sa akin.

But damn, I had a hard time preventing myself for smiling when she told me that we're already friends. And she even gave me a freaking nickname, Dondon, huh? Fuck! I'm so happy.

It was Valentines when I went to their mansion again. Hindi kasi siya pumasok and I planned a little surprise, I'm so fucking nervous dahil baka hindi niya magustuhan. But I'm glad that what I did made her smile and she even told me that I could call her Astrid, in which only her family members were allowed to call her that. I'm so glad to know that I'm already important to her.

The following days and months were nice, nakakabakla mang sabihin pero masaya ako sa mga nangyayari. My Tagalog is getting better and damn, I just became second honors. She was so happy for me and I couldn't help but be happy for myself too. I guess I really did well, thanks to her.

I'm already aware that what I'm feeling is more intense than 'like'. I'm so fucking whipped and I couldn't control myself from expressing what I'm feeling through my actions. I'm just kind of scared the she'll notice it and avoid me.

I did everything just for me to deserve her, I joined the basketball varsity team and studied hard for her to see that I'm doing well.

We're on her room watching a movie when I suddenly felt something different within me because she suddenly leaned and touched my cheek. I just fucking had a hard on, damn!

I got sick after our exam kaya hindi ako nakapasok no'ng mga sumunod na araw. I was stunned when she volunteered to go at our place at kung minamalas nga naman, umuwi pa bigla si dad kaya kinailangan pang ipakilala ko siya sa kanya. I was scared that dad would say something to her, lagi pa naman akong inaasar na may girlfriend. May girl friend naman talaga ako, literal na friend nga lang.

Tama ako, dad teased me in front of her and that was embarrassing, pinagmukha pa akong mahina. Hindi ba pwedeng nahihiya lang dahil pakiramdam ko masyado siyang mataas para sa akin?

Pero siguro nga kailangan ko na ngang gumalaw. I kissed her forehead before she went out of our car, I was so nervous before doing that but it damn felt like heaven after I did it.

I didn't fucking expect na gagawin ko rin 'yon no'ng sumunod na araw. I got badly swayed by my emotions.

"Ayan. Gwapo ka na ulit." She smiled at me and I can't help but stare at her insanely beautiful face. Damn, this beautiful girl in front of me just called me handsome. What am I supposed to do?

It was so overwhelming that I was unable to think properly. I just found my self fulfilling one of my dreams.

I pushed her to the wall and crashed my lips on her.

Damn, the kiss just made me realize that I've fallen so hard, and that it's impossible for me to get over her now.