"Ako na sasagot sa number 12!" Inis kong sabi sa kanya. We're doing our Math assignment in the library. Usually, mag-isa naming ginagawa lagi kahit by pair 'yong instruction pero for the past few days ay napagdesisyunan naming gawin nalang by pair total lagi naman kaming magkasamang mag-aral.

"I can do it." Aniya. Ang sakim naman! Alam kong mas magaling siya sa akin, pero gusto ko lang namang itry eh.

"Ako na 'yong gagawa nito, just finish the essay." I pouted, oo na nga! Mas magaling naman ako sa kanya sa English.

"Ayan tapos na!" Inabot ko na sa kanya 'yong paper namin. Rough draft lang 'yon. "Ikaw na magrewrite ha? Tapos ako na magrewrite ng sa Math." Tumango lang siya after non at inabot 'yong paper namin sa Math.

"It's already 6 pm. Let's go." He said saka nagsimulang mag-ayos ng gamit, I also did the same thing. The fresh amihan wind greeted me as soon as we went out of the library.

December na ngayon, malapit na 'yong Christmas, which is my favorite season. Our family will spend Christmas in New York pero dito rin kami magbabagong taon sa Luna del Fuego.

Samuel looked at me while we are walking.

"Is it heavy?" He asked while pointing the folder that I'm carrying. Umiling ako, hindi naman kasi mabigat.

"I'll carry it." He said. Ayan nanaman siya, he will do what he want nanaman. Inilayo ko sa kanya 'yong folder.

"Kaya ko na 'to. I'm not that weak!" I hissed before walking faster than him. I heard him chuckled because of what I did.

Lagi kaming magkasama ni Samuel for the past few days. I don't know, I just feel more comfortable around him simula no'ng sinabi ko sa kanya 'yong about sa PTSD ko. Parang malaya na ako ngayon na makipag-usap sa kanya dahil wala na akong tinatago.

"Your mom's here." Aniya. Agad ko namang natanaw 'yong car namin sa di kalayuan.

"I'll go now. Bye!" I waved at him before walking fast papunta sa car namin.

Days passed, ilang araw nalang ay Christmas party na namin. Makakaattend ako ngayong year, unlike for the past years na hindi ako nakakaattend dahil umaalis na agad kami every time the classes ended.

"Pupunta ka sa Christmas party?" I asked Samuel habang nakaupo kami sa ilalim ng puno ng mangga, paboritong tambayan na yata namin 'to. Ang sarap kasi talaga ng hangin dito.

"Yeah. You?" Tumango ako sa kanya.

"I'll go if it's not raining, you know that." He sighed.

"It will not rain." Wow! Sure na sure? Weather forecaster ka?

"Tss. Dito ba kayo magpapasko?" Tumango siya.

"Yeah. How about you?" He scooted close to me, I was nervous for a second pero naging maayos naman 'yon no'ng makita kong may kinuha lang naman pala siyang insekto sa buhok ko.

"Sa New York kami magpapasko but we will spend New Year here." Nakangiti kong sabi. I noticed his messy hair dahil natulog nanaman siya sa class kanina at hindi niya naayos 'yon.

"Fix your hair, it's messy." Ginawa naman niya 'yong sinabi ko. He then looked at me.

"Is it okay now?" Pinasadahan ko ulit ng tingin 'yong buhok niya.

"Okay na." I looked away because his gaze is making me feel uncomfortable. Komportable ako sa kanya pero never akong naging comfortable sa mga titig niya dahil masyadong intense 'yon para sa akin.

"Tara na! 12:45 na." I had trouble getting up but he offered his hand.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

We walked together pabalik ng room. I noticed our classmates' stares, especially those that came from Nadia's group. Medyo nasasanay na ako dahil araw-araw naman na gano'n sila sa akin simula no'ng lagi na kaming magkasama ni Samuel. Hindi ko nalang sila pinapansin dahil alam ko sa sarili kong wala akong ginagawang masama sa kanila. Me and Samuel are just acquaintances, hindi ko naman inaagaw sa kanila 'yong crush nila. Bahala sila kung anong iisipin nila.

December 17 came, Christmas party na namin, I'm a bit excited dahil first time kong aattend. I wore a silky baby pink off shoulder dress paired with white heels para naman medyo tumangkad ako, ang petite ko kasi, the last time I check I'm just 5'3. I braided the sides of my wavy hair para may style naman. I also wore a gold necklace with a moon pendant.

"Hello." I answered. Samuel called kasi, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit.

"Where are you?"

"Paalis palang ng bahay. You?" I picked up the gift that I wrapped for the exchange gift saka ko iyon inilagay sa ecobag na dadalhin ko.

"At the gate." He answered. Wow! Ang aga naman niya, 10 am palang tapos 12 pm pa start ng party.

"You're so early. Are you that excited?" I looked at the mirror for the final look. I smiled when I saw that everything is set.

"I'll just wait for you here." Aniya saka ako binabaan ng tawag. Hay nako, tumawag lang yata para ipagmalaki na maaga siyang nando'n. As if naman na naiinggit ako!

11 am na nang makarating ako ng school. I kissed mom's cheek before going out of the car. Medyo nakakalat sa labas ng campus ngayon 'yong mga students ah, ganito pala kapag Christmas party, parang foundation week lang ah.

I immediately saw Samuel sa gilid. This freak, hindi man lang ba niya napapansin na kaya pala maraming tao dito ay dahil tinitingnan siya, masyadong agaw atensyon. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit masyadong marami 'yong nagkakacrush sa kanya.

"Hey." I greeted, I noticed him staring at me for seconds pero pagkatapos non ay agad din siyang nag-iwas ng tingin. What now?

"Tara na." He said before walking away first. Sumunod nalang agad ako sa kanya dahil ang daming mga matang nakatingin sa amin, yong iba ay parang ewan pa makatingin. Nako, baka iniisip nila na may something sa amin.

Honestly, their way of thinking sucks!

Some of our classmates were already there when we arrived, including Nadia and her friends. Hindi naman ako manhid para hindi ko maramdaman 'yong mala-dagger nilang tingin. Same as those people outside, tss.

I placed my gift under the Christmas tree before taking a seat, Samuel did the same thing and sat on the seat near me.

"When will you leave?" He asked, probably talking about our New York trip.

"Tomorrow. Why?" I answered while trying to look at him, he's just sitting with his arms crossed.

"Nothing. Kailan kayo babalik?"

"27 or 28." Hindi na ako nagtanong pa ulit kung bakit dahil malamang 'nothing' nanaman 'yong isasagot niya.

The Christmas party started, there were a lot of games at mukhang enjoy na enjoy 'yong mga classmates ko. I actually want to join pero nahihiya ako dahil hindi naman ako marunong maglaro unlike them na parang memorize na talaga nila 'yong mechanics. Dalawa lang yata kami ni Samuel na hindi nagpaparticipate because we're both outcasts. I got bored so I decided to went out of the room to catch some fresh air but someone blocked my way when I'm about to open the door.

"Julianna, someone asked me to give this for you." Nadia handed me a medium-sized box. I tried searching for a name para malaman ko kung sino 'yong nagbigay.

"It's from Heaven Salazar. Is there something going on between the two of you?" She asked while smiling at me. "I mean lagi ko kasi kayong nakikitang nag-uusap."

Napakurap ako sa sinabi because I can't believe it! What's wrong with their minds at bakit naiisip nilang may something sa amin ni Heaven just because we're sometimes talking to each other?

"There's nothing going on." I firmly answered while looking at her.

Ngumiti siya ulit at tila nagdadalawang-isip kung magtatanong pa ba siya ulit but she eventually did.

"How about Samuel?" I don't know kung ako lang ba, pakiramdam ko kasi may kung anong nasa tono ng pagtatanong niya. It's like she's implying something I don't like.

"Same with Heaven. Nothing." I said before turning my back.

I went back to my seat, hindi nalang pala ako lalabas, nagbago na 'yong isip ko. Samuel looked at the box that I'm holding.

"From?" He seriously asked, natalo siguro sa nilalaro niyang games kanina kaya bad mood.

"Heaven Salazar." I answered saka ko binuksan 'yong box. Heaven must be really thoughtful to give me a gift, ilang beses palang naman kaming nag-uusap, hindi ko gets kung bakit binigyan niya ako ng gift. But anyway, there's nothing wrong with giving a gift.

It's a beautiful watch. Ang ganda! I tried to put it on my wrist.

"So you like watches?" I heard Samuel asking me.

"Hindi naman."

"You seemed to like that so much." He said with his eyes still focused on his phone.

"Because it's pretty." I answered, still adoring it.

I finally decided to went out of the room after an hour, Samuel came with me dahil nabobored na rin daw siya. We we're just peacefully walking on the pathway when I suddenly saw Heaven on the side talking to a girl. He turned to my direction and waved his hand, he said something to the girl before approaching me.

"Hey. Thanks for the gift. I like it!" I said, and show him my wrist.

"Ah! I was worried na baka hindi mo magustuhan." He said before letting out a soft laugh.

"She liked it so much." I was surprised when Samuel suddenly talked. Gulat tuloy na napatingin sa kanya si Heaven.

"Ow." He looked at Samuel and smiled. "Samuel Yu, right?" Samuel looked at him with his usual emotionless gaze.

"Yes." Aniya saka biglang hinawakan 'yong palapulsuhan ko.

"I'm hungry. Let's grab some food." He said before pulling me away.

What? Ang dami kayang pagkain sa room kanina! Gulo niya.

My first Christmas party experience was not bad, medyo nabored lang ako, but knowing that it's me, normal na 'yon. I went home early to prepare for our flight the next day. It was a long and tiresome flight and I spent most of my time sleeping.

My cousin Lorraine immediately hugged me when we arrived.

"I missed you!" Aniya, she looks so excited, parang mas excited pa sa akin.

I spent the following days sa pamamasyal with Lorraine dahil busy 'yong parents namin with business stuffs.

"Astrid, do you have a boyfriend na?" She asked me while smiling so wide. Grabe, tinanong din yata niya ako noon. Sobrang big deal ba talaga 'yong pagboboyfriend? I want to laugh.

"Not interested with those stuffs. Bakit ikaw? Meron na?" I asked her back while fixing my hair. Christmas Eve na ngayon, may dinner kami ng buong pamilya mamaya.

"Just crushes. Next year pa ako magboboyfriend!" She looks so excited. Gosh! Nakakaexcite ba talaga 'yong ganong stuffs? Geez, ang dami ko namang tanong. Hindi nalang ako nagcomment sa sinabi niya, it's her life naman kasi!

"Ikaw ba? Wala ka pa ring crush hanggang ngayon?" Agad akong umiling dahil wala naman talaga.

The dinner went okay, medyo nakakapressure lang dahil business pa rin 'yong pinag-uusapan nila. Masyado talaga silang business minded and I kind of feel bad because I'm not.

I woke up late on Christmas Day, Lorraine left and I don't know where she is, baka sumama sa mga pinsan niya sa side ng papa niya. I went out of my room and saw our parents chatting while drinking wine, mukhang business pa rin 'yong pinag-uusapan nila.

Bumalik nalang muna ako sa room ko because I'm getting bored watching them. I got my phone and typed a message to Samuel.

'Merry Christmas.'

I was surprised when he immediately replied.

'Merry Christmas too'

I suddenly want to call him dahil sobrang nabobored na ako but international call is kind of expensive kaya nagdadalawang-isip ako, but I almost jumped when I saw his name on the screen. Oh my! He's calling.

"Hello." I greeted.

We talked for almost an hour with random stuffs pero karamihan acads related. He probably noticed that I'm bored kaya pinapakinggan nalang niya akong nagsasalita at sinasagot kapag nagtatanong ako. He said goodbye dahil tinatawag na siya ng daddy niya.

"I will miss you, magchat ka naman lagi!" Lorraine said, nasa airport na kami ngayon.

"I'll try." Nakangiti kong sabi before waving good bye. She just pouted and I let out a chuckle. My cousin is so gorgeous, hindi na ako magtataka kung marami talagang nagkakagusto sa kanya.

December 30 na no'ng makauwi kami ng Luna del Fuego, I slept the whole day dahil sobrang napagod ako sa biyahe. I woke up at 7pm saka ako bumaba sa sala. Mom and dad was on the receiving area with a visitor, hindi ko na tiningnan kung sino dahil panigurado business nanaman pinag-uusapan nila and I'm not interested.

Tahimik akong kumain sa kusina at no'ng tapos na ako, Ate Vita approached me while holding a box with a cute design.

"Ma'am Astrid, iniwan po ito sa tapat ng gate no'ng pasko. May nakalagay pong pangalan niyo, para po yata sa inyo." I was surprised. Sino namang gagawa non?

I immediately reached for the box, I opened it and I saw a beautiful personalized hand-made bracelet and anklet.

Ang ganda! Pero kanino ba 'to galing? Kinalkal ko pa 'yong box and I stopped when I saw a small sticky note.

I read what was written.

Merry Christmas. Hope u like it.

-SDY

SDY? I smiled when I realized who it was. I reached for my phone and dialed his number.

"Hey!" I greeted when he answered it.

"Hi." His voice was hoarse, parang kagigising lang.

"Thank you sa gift!" Nakangiti kong sabi kahit hindi naman niya nakikita. Hindi siya sumagot.

"Are you still there?" I asked, I heard him sighed.

"Is my gift okay?" I want to laugh because of his question.

"It's beautiful. Did you make it yourself?" I asked him.

"Uhh. Yeah." Why did he sound embarrassed?

"I like it! Thanks again." I repeated saka ko tiningnan ulit 'yong bigay niya. Hindi man lang niya sinabi na may gift siya, edi sana iniwan ko nalang din 'yong gift ko sa kanya.

"I'm glad you liked it." He said before I ended the call. I went to my room immediately, I checked the box that I placed inside my cabinet before we left.

It was a personalized pen and notebook, sana magustuhan niya. I'm actually nervous na hindi niya magustuhan kaya hindi ko agad binigay sa kanya no'ng Christmas party namin. Sa pasukan ko nalang siguro ibibigay.

We went to San Antonio de Padua church to attend mass on New Year Eve, it's a tradition of our family na umattend ng mass kapag New Year Eve at magpalipas ng hating-gabi sa simbahan mismo. Actually, hindi lang naman kami 'yong naroon, marami ring mga pamilya na gano'n na 'yong ginagawa.

Maghahating-gabi na and we were sitting on the grass. Mom and dad are acting so sweet like a teenage couple, I don't know what's with them but I'm happy looking at them smiling and giggling, medyo hindi lang ako sanay na gano'n sila.

"Mom, I'll just go to the comfort room." I said dahil nakaramdam ako bigla ng call of nature. Malapit ng mag 12 kaya kailangang kong magmadali, patakbo kong tinahak 'yong daan papuntang CR. I immediately went inside the last cubicle when I got there dahil naiiihi na talaga ako.

I was about to get out no'ng biglang hindi ko na mabuksan 'yong pinto. Oh my! Sira yata 'to pero pinagpatuloy ko pa rin na itry na buksan.

Mukhang mahuhuli na yata ako sa countdown. Gosh!

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag no'ng bumukas na rin siya after so many tries. Patakbo ko ulit na tinahak 'yong daan, since it's kind of dark, I didn't notice the small stone on the way kaya nadapa ako.

Geez! Buti nalang walang tao, I checked my knee, buti nalang hindi naman nagasgasan. I was about to get up when someone offered a hand.

"Samuel, what are you doing here?" Gulat kong sabi no'ng mapagtanto ko kung sino 'yon.

"Dad brought me here. Are you okay?" Tinanggap ko 'yong kamay niya para makatayo na ako.

"Yes." Medyo nahiya naman ako, nakita pa yata niya 'yong pagkakadapa ko! Bakit ganon? Lagi talagang present si Samuel sa mga nakakahiyang moments ng buhay ko.

Magsasalita na sana ako ulit no'ng maagaw 'yong atensyon naming dalawa ng pagtunog ng kampana.

Oh my! Ilang segundo nalang.

"Let's count!" He said, I want to do it with my family sana pero mukhang hindi na ako aabot kaya nagbilang nalang din ako.

"5..4..3..2..1.."

The fireworks display started right after that. It wasn't new to me but I'm still in awe whenever I see fireworks, because they're like stars for me.

"Happy New Year." We said to each other before going back to our families.