Last poems are the newest poems, enjoy

"Ever had a panic attack?
Ever waited for your whole world to crash?
Ever been in the deepest pit of anxiety?
It's easy to throw around words isn't it?
"Anxiety..."
Have you ever felt the heart breaking kind? Those moments of hopelessness that last a life time. The lump in your throat as your lungs struggle with every breath. Your eyes that are on the verge of tears as you feel your soul sink and fade. The feeling of compeat anxiety and hopeless fear.
Ever had a panic attack?
If you have, you know this is just the beginning..."

***
(WARNING! Can be triggering, contains self harm, dark, suicidal thoughts)

"Music pounding through my head,
Wishing I were gone and dead,
Petrified by anxieties touch,
Trembling, crying "I've had enough"
Day and night in dark and light,
It's mocking me,
Always in sight,
I would give it all for peace,
The door of death,
It guards to tease..."

***

"Anxiety sacks,
Hit me and attack,
I scream to calm down,
Hit back with more sound,
Blasting music through ears,
Till it all dissappeares,
Destroying headphones in line,
I'll buy more till I'm fine..."

***

"Weight filled covers,
Chains under cloth,
Pressure for when the nights get too tough,
A feeling of safety,
Calming and Steady,
Holding me down when the world gets too Heavy,
The only weight that makes my pain lighter,
I'll wrap around me,
May it hold me tighter..."

***

"I'm torn to pieces,
Split in two,
With this pain,
What should I do?
Picking skin,
Will darkness win?
I can't see far,
It's closing in,

"Help me please!"
I scream in pain,
Is my yelling all in vain?
I see the light and run away,
Not knowing if I want the day,
It's all I've known,
This darkness sown,
A quilt of pain to block the cold,
The world is cold,
I start to shiver,
My voice will quiver,
As I ask my final question,
"Who am I?"
To my reflection..."

***

"I will write you a story with my hand,
My biggest fear is that you'd understand,
Papercut wrists and swings without wood,
I hope that you run,
You know that you should..."

***

"Up till four,
A restless sleep,
No use crying,
Or counting sheep,
My throat is soar,
My eyes are heavy,
These nights have been,
A little too many..."

***

"Uneasy feeling come and go,
That they say but this I know,
Does not include the ones with worry,
Anxieties prey,
The ones who can't keep shaking at bey..."

***

She's going back to a girl she once knew,
A girl who was planted in the law,
A girl who was filling up with guilt as she grew,

She's going back to a girl she once knew,
A girl who didn't want to stay,
A girl who wanted to run away,
Who knew?

She's going back to a girl she once knew,
A girl she was never proud of,
A girl who always felt an ache in her chest,
A girl who always failed the test,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who kept pretending,
To be dumb rather than accepting,
That she can't always be understood,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A naive girl who thought that people could be kind,
But people always left, made up their mind,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl full of anxiety, guilt and shame,
With a sadness and fear,
Her head couldn't tame,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who stood in front of the mirror and bullied her appearance to tears,
Increasing the scars,
that appeared through the years,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who felt heartbreak whenever someone couldn't bother to listen,
Or who left her somewhere,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who seeks isolation,
Who flinches at touch,
But who feels pain when left alone,
Both sides hurt so much,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who heard voices,
That kept limiting her choices,
Telling her that she has fallen too far from grace,
That God has already turned away his face,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who is selfish,
Who thinks only of herself,
Who would in a blink of an eye,
Dispose of herself,

She's going back to the girl she once knew,
A girl who terrifies her,
For her feelings have always been stronger than her common sense,
But it's too late now,
So why keep speaking in past tense?

***

"My chest it aches,
My heart it breaks,
My lungs are sealed,
What is the deal?
I haven't been running,
But I'm out of breath,
I haven't been daring,
But my limbs whisper 'death'..."

***

Newest update:

"Goosebumps and chills,
Another one of life's "thrills",
Chest aching,
Hard to breath,
Trembling, nauseous,
Overly cautious,
Not wanting anything to do with the past or future,
Feeling nonexistent,
Resistant,
The sadness stabbing,
Breathlessness,
Avoiding any and all situations,
Chest pain,
Dizziness,
Hibernating in bed,
Curled up into nothing,
Emotionally distant,
Frequently Crying,
Feeling like a burden,
Being of nothing truly certain."

***