Jeremy:Dear Evan Hansen
We've been way too out of touch
Things have been crazy
And it sucks that we don't talk that much
But I should tell you that I think of you each night
I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight

Mike:Why would you write that?

Jeremy:I'm just trying to tell the truth

Mike:This needs to be perfect these emails have to prove that we were actually friends
Just I'll do it
I've gotta tell you, life without you has been hard Jeremy:Hard?
Mike:Has been bad
Jeremy:Bad?
Mike:Has been rough

Jeremy:Kinky!

Mike:And I miss talking about life and other stuff
Jeremy:*spinning in chair*Very specific

Mike:​ Shut up!

Me:I like my parents

Phone guy:Who says that?
Me:I love my parents but each day's another fight
If I stop smoking drugs
Then everything might be alright

Phone guy:Smoking drugs?

Me:Just fix it!

Me:If I stop smoking crack

Purple guy:Crack?! Where!!!

Me:If I stop smoking pot
Then everything might be alright
I'll take your advice
I'll try to be more nice
I'll turn it around
Wait and see

Eggs:Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me

Mage:Are we done yet?

Me:Well I can't just give them one email I want to show that I was, like, a good friend, you know?

Mage:Oh my god

Silver:Dear Connor Murphy, ​ Yes, I also miss our talks
Stop doing drugs Just try to take deep breaths and go on walks
Me:no

Silver:I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees

Me:No

Silver:You'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise

Me:Absolutely not

Silver:Dude, I'm proud of you
Just keep pushing through
You're turning around
I can see
Just wait and see!
All:Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely, Me

Me:My sister's hot!!!(mage)

Eggs:What the hell!
Me:my bad

Me:Dear Evan Hansen, ​
Thanks for every note you send

Silver:Dear Connor Murphy, ​
I'm just glad to be your friend

Me and silver:Our friendship goes beyond
Your average kind of bond

Me:But not because we're gay

Silver:No, not because we're gay

Both:We're close, but not that way
The only man that I love is my dad
Well anyway!

All:You're getting better every day
I'm getting better every day
We're getting better every day
Hey hey hey hey!
'Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention
It's easy to change if you give it your attention
All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be
Sincerely
Miss you dearly
Sincerely, Me
Sincerely, Me
Sincerely, Me
Sincerely, Me