Flashback

"I have to leave Madison, I can't be here anymore." I said packing up my bags to leave this city. There was nothing left for me here, trouble only lurking around in the alleyways.

"What are you talking about?" Madison asked watching as I frantically packed up all I had left which wasn't much. The less I had the better anyways, I would rather have less to lug around.

"I mean they are close to finding me. I need to leave while I can, I need to stay one step ahead." I explained to her not even bothering to look at my best friend who I knew was very confused. My life was one big mess of complications that I didn't expect anyone to understand.

"Who? Your parents? Devin?" Madison went on guessing as to who I was scared of. I couldn't let them find me, I couldn't imagine what would happen then.

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked abruptly hoping that she would help me out with this one decision I had made. I knew that I couldn't take Asher with me, he needed a safe and stable home, something I couldn't give him. I was always running and that isn't a healthy environment for a baby. I owed him more then what I could give him at the moment.

"What?" Madison asked me arching a brow still confused as I swung my black backpack over my shoulders. Asher laid on the bed and I dreaded what I was about to do.

"I need you to take Asher to Harry's apartment."

"What? Keira... What is going on? Where are you going? Why aren't you taking the baby with you?" Madison had so many questions and I didn't blame her for asking them out loud. All of this was sudden as I picked up the tiny body that was half asleep on the bed.

"California... I can't explain, the less you know the better. Please will you make sure he gets to Harry?" I was pleading while I held my sweet baby boy who was born into terrible circumstances.

"Yes, but Keira.... I'm so confused, you can't just leave!" Madison rose her voice from the passion she held to this topic. She didn't want me to leave but I had no other options left. I received zero support from anyone but Madison and that was harder then anyone thinks.

"I don't have a choice Madison, I need a fresh start somewhere else. I need to get as far away from here as possible." So much anxiety was conducting heat in my body. Kissing the top of my baby's head I rocked him in my arms, doing my best to remember him before I had to leave him.

"We can figure this out Keira. You don't have to leave, you don't have to be afraid I can help you." Madison tried as I watched my baby boy comfort himself in my arms. I was going to miss him terribly and only hoped that Harry would accept him, he was the most important thing in my life and I wanted the best for him. Harry despite his reckless behavior needed to take responsibility for our son, Harry was the best chance Asher had.

"I've already made up my mind." I shook my head looking up from Asher who sneezed, causing him to scrunch his little face. Tears welled up in my eyes seeing his face for the last time. Holding him for the last time felt like something stabbed my heart over and over again.

Gathering everything Madison and I snuck out of the building to get me to the airport. She had agreed to take me to the airport, giving me more time with Asher as I sat in the back next to his car seat. His hand wrapped around my finger while I wiped a tear away. I couldn't start up my crying now, if I did I wouldn't be able to stop. I had to believe that Asher was going to be in a better place. That he was going to be loved and better taken care of with his father.

"Are you okay back there?" Madison asked turning down the music as we drove closer to the airport. The closer we got the further my heart sank knowing that it would be a long time before I saw my baby again.

"No." I answered simply stroking Asher's cheek while his beautiful blue eyes concentrated heavily on me. His clear ocean eyes he had gotten from me and I took pride in the things we shared. I would miss him more then I would know and it was heart wrenching for me.

Madison said nothing but let me soak up what time I had left with Asher. The ride to JFK seemed shorter then I would have hoped, the time I had with Asher felt short. My heart cracking in half as Madison pulled up to drop me off.

"Here we are." Madison said putting the car into park as my eyes averted to a plane taking off. This was it.

"I can't believe this is how it's going to be..." Another tear fell from my eyes as I quickly swiped it away looking down at Asher one last time, unbuckling him from his car seat.

Picking him up I laid Asher against my chest and rubbed his back while he gurgled softly to himself. Closing my eyes I took in a deep shaky breath as I felt his soft clothing beneath my hands. His heartbeat against mine causing my heart to rip me apart. Water falling under my closed eyes as I sniffled to myself. This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

"I love you so much baby..." My voice was unsteady and shaky as I laid him in my arms so I could better see his face.

"Please don't ever think I am leaving you because I don't love you, I love you more then anything in this world..." My tears were catching up to me and it was getting hard to breathe looking at his little face. "I love you so much Asher, I will be back for you okay? I won't leave you behind! I won't! Daddy is going to take good care of you while I'm gone. You are going to be safe and sound, I promise.... I promise.." my words caught in my throat as I tried to say all I needed to say.

"I will miss you! I already miss you so much! Be good for Daddy, okay? I love you sweet boy." I sniffled borderline sobbing as I talked to my baby for the last time.

Opening up the door I held Asher in my arms as I came face to face with Madison. She embraced me tightly when she saw the tears in my eyes from saying my last words to my baby boy I loved so deeply. I was leaving all I knew behind and it was scary.

"Be careful out there." Madison said here eyes watering as I gave Asher one last kiss on his forehead. Handing him over to Madison she propped him up on her shoulder as we both cried over what was about to happen.

"Take care of yourself out there."

"You too." My voice unsteady as I turned and walked towards the entrance of the airport. Sniffing as tears streamed down my face I didn't dare to look back at Asher and Madison because I knew it would only cause me to break down fully. Adjusting my beanie I fidgeted with my hair nervously as I walked inside the big airport full of all types of people. This was it. My new beginning.

note// This is so sad! Like what is wrong with me?! Anyway this book is going to get a little more exciting here soon;)

QOTD: What do you think Keira is afraid of? Do you think it was okay for her to leave?