There is a reason I have always loved princess, unicorns, Harry Potter, and superheros. I love fantasy. I love all things that arn't real life.

I have to watch and raise my youngest sister while my middle sister tears herself apart. There is something deep in her brain that won't let her breathe a happy breath. My parents do everything in their power to try and help her. They always have. But when they try to raise her up they only end up tearing themselves down. My parents fight with my grandparents on just about everything. My family is breaking apart.

That is why I adore all things differnt from reality. That is why I copy and paste the perfect version of myself into books. Because being Pixie is so much better than being Lucy sometimes.

My own sister, a person who I have always know and loved has threaten to kill herself. My little sister gets babysitted by technology and I get ingored. My parents don't what to ignore me, it's just what happens.

I don't hate my family for the neglect, I just worry. I worry that one day soon my whole world is going to shatter into a million pieces.

But the worst part is there is nothing I can do.

I can't be Batgirl or Robin. I can't swoop in and make everything better. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in some kind of never ending rollercoaster.

I adore characters getting their happily ever after because it is something I wish my family could have. I want the story book to be over. I want to wake up from the bad dream. I'm doing everything in my power to keep something together but it seems impossible. I want to be the hero that fixes my family.

I put on a brave face when on the inside I want to brake down. Because my parents have enough to deal with. They don't need to fix me too. I will be the "normal" girl my parents need me to be because that's the closest thing to helping I can do.

I just wish I could keep everything together.

But I will never be the superhero to save my family.

I'm just the citizen who is watching the bomb count down.

I'm just the citizen who needs to be saved.