The motel agreed to let Ellis and I have a room, with only one bed, because the rest were taken. Carrying Ellis in my arms was like carrying a feather in my hands, then he mumbled, "Thank you, Nick."

I just smiled at him, then laid him down softly onto the bed. It took nothing for Ellis to fall back asleep, which only made me listen more to his soft snores. I couldn't help but laugh at his mumbles and snores. I was going soft on him, and normally I was a hard ass to everyone, but he was different. So much different, he actually fucking cared. The scratches on my head and the marks on my neck, he cared.

I pulled my bag from the end of the bed and unloaded the gun. With who I was and my reputation, it wasn't safe to not be carrying a firearm around. Technically, I'm not allowed to own a gun, but I found my ways. I set the firearm back in the bag with the separate magazines, closed it up and put it back down. I took my shirt off and insisted on just laying with my pants on.

I pulled the duvet sheets over me, making sure I didn't pull any off Ellis. I let out a sigh I'd needed to get out for a while, realising that for once, I felt warmth and safeness. I was comfortable and felt mostly okay. Ellis unexpectedly wrapped his arms around me, breathing onto my back, his stomach pressed on me from the back. I shivered from his finger tips then turned around and pulled him closer. His head was on my chest, slowly breathing and steady. His bare chest was cold but soon warmed after being so close to me.

I needed to hold him, it wasn't an instinct, I had too. I felt this urge just to grab his mouth and kiss him, hold him endlessly, This wasn't like me at all.

I was dangerous and scared that if anything happened to him, I'd be lost and shattered. I couldn't let anything happen to him. With the people after me, it just wouldn't be safe. I didn't want to risk his life and everything he has.

The next morning:

My eyes burned to the sunlight of the room, suddenly noticing and remembering Nick brought me to a motel last night. My mind felt blurry as the ray coming through the curtain was really pissing me off.

"Nick?" I called and shot up from the bed.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" I shouted but no answer. To my right, I saw a note and a pen. My breath hitched and I got scared automatically. I didn't know how to feel, I wanted to give up.

Ellis,
People are dangerous, like me. I cant risk you getting hurt. Maybe some day we'll meet again.

My fist met the table, "shit!"

My tears fell on the table, staining my face with lines. How the fuck did he leave me like that?

I sobbed and sobbed, putting my shirt back on, collecting my stuff and leaving. The motel was already paid as the receipt was laying peacefully. My heart, not so peaceful.

My keys were dangling off my fingers while I walked to my truck which I needed a new one. I shook the thought of Nick off my shoulders but I couldn't. I really liked him, his smile, his laugh and those eyes.

I could feel his warmth, I wish I could have said goodbye at least.

--

The tool pushed the bolt in perfectly. It took me over an hour to get back to my shop and I'd left Nick a string of messages.

It was quiet, only a few cars in getting repaired until I heard the front door click.

"Look who returns." Keith sighed.

"I've had enough Keith okay? Just fucking work and leave me alone or you're fired."

I was at the last straw with Keith.

"Where's loverboy."

"I can't believe you had the nerve to say that."

I walked away harshly, holding back the tears. I heard Keith start working on the cars and I felt guilt rush over me.

"Listen-."

"Keep it Ellis. I've been a dick recently and I am so, so sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that to that guy, you know I can be an asshole when I'm drunk."

The apology from Keith made the tears flow down my cheeks like waterfalls.

--

"Maybe he had a good reason Ellis."

"Maybe." I played with my fork in the plastic container, not wanting to eat anything.

"Hey, I have two tickets to the midnight riders tonight. Wanna come?"

"HELL YES!" My mood intimately lifted but I still felt heartbroken and torn in two.

I didn't know what to do but at least I had something to do that would hopefully take my mind off things.

--

I was closing up the shop early when the delivery guy came to me when a letter.

"Ellis?"

"That's me." I smiled.

"This came in at the last minute and since I was driving past, I figured I could hand it to you."

"Thank you. Ya'll have a good night now!" I waved.

I saw the letter and noticed it was Nick's handwriting. My heart raced like it never had before, but that was a lie.

I ripped the envelope open, my hands shaking and I saw the letter. My eyes tripped over the words, stumbling and my tears fell.

Dear Ellis,
I felt different meeting you. At first I was an asshole, and I apologise but more I got to know you, the more my heart grew on you. Your smile made me smile and your laughs made laugh. I just want you to be safe, I want you to be happy more than anything, but with me, it's dangerous. I really don't want you hurt because I can only protect myself. I'm scared of protecting you but failing. And know, I had a really good time at the carnival, probably the best time I've had in long time

Plus you snore a lot,
Nick.

I snorted at the last sentence, but tears only followed and a broken heart shone brightly.