Chapter Ten: ❝ what were you saying about having no life? ❞

An east wind rustled through Lily's frizzy, dark tresses, tangling the strands she worked so hard to undo in the morning. She tugged out a piece that stuck itself into her mouth while keeping her gaze on the poster in front of her.

The others were clearly homemade in a rush. Dollar General poster paper with wrinkled edges. Scratch-n-sniff stickers arranged to look like a larger image. Faded Crayola markers to outline the "wordplay" they created.  Handwritten, crooked bubble letters in a mix of coral and taffy. The black and white photos of themselves from their peak years. Some looked lucky enough to get them in color, and judging from the quality, printed out from the school media center for fifty cents.

But not this one.

Of course, she fucking did, Lily thought. Hers was always going to be the epitome of perfection. Of course, the handwriting was like that of a professional font. Of course, her photo was hand-drawn and still exemplary. Of course, it was laminated. Of course, the others looked like second-grade artwork compared to hers.

Of course, it was perfect.

Other people were running for the sake of making it more fun. To give her a chance to flaunt and show off. To remind everyone how flawless she was and how inferior they were in comparison. And during the acceptance speech, she would reiterate over and over how humbled and honored she was to be on that stage and she didn't deserve it. When in reality, everything she did to get that plastic crown was far from humble. Or deserving.

Lily's almond-colored eyes hovered on the words of the sleek poster one last time, making her left hand tighten into a fist.

Without hesitation, she immediately ripped the laminated artwork from the rough brick wall, scratching her knuckles against the orange-brown clay. The poster limped and slouched to the ground, the scotch tape on its corners torn with jagged edges.

She took another deep breath of the gusty wind and started back on her journey to class, the strong breeze making her feel like she was floating. In the back of her mind, she knew that wasn't the right thing to do, and she would immediately get berated for it. But going to school has always been like heading off to war for her. Lily Reine versus the majority of the student body. Every day there was something new to fight about. Whether that was writing letters to the school board for healthy snack options in the vending machines, or starting a campaign to have a girl's football team.

And no matter how hard she tried, there was always going to be the doubters and naysayers who would mock her attempts. "Mediocrity always wins," she'd say in the end. And that was aimed at the more "well-known" crowds of the school. She just happened to be "well-known" for being "infamous."

The warning bell chimed as a reminder to the slackers to walk faster. So with every beat of her black boots on the checkered tiles, she accelerated her pace. It's not like she was really eager to get to class, but tardiness added up. And she wasn't in the best of moods to get a referral.

As she made a sharp right down the hallway, elbowing others out of the way, there was a brief moment where Lily could've sworn she saw someone she recognized from the corner of her eye. Or maybe it was more than one person. She never got a good look. Either way, it didn't matter because those blurs of bodies were already heading out the opposite doors from her direction.

Which, unbeknownst to her, she did know them. Manny, Hakeem, and Rashaad scurrying down the hall together for the parking lot.

In a couple of short breaths, she made it into her AP Literature class and was welcomed with a round of collective chatter, the slamming of backpacks on wooden desks, and the screams of metal chair legs against the ceramic tile. She became accustomed to the eyerolls, annoyed sighs, and malevolent glares as she passed by and learned to give them right back. And much better.

But what Lily didn't expect was someone calling her name without spite or disgust. And the person calling her was even more astonishing.

"Lily!? Oh my God, Lily!"

She paused and peered over to her right to spot Maddison Liberty sauntering to where Lily stood. As she approached closer, she held out her hands as if she meant to embrace Lily, so she took a step back with a modest frown.

"I am so sorry," Maddison said, holding Lily's left hand between her own since she backed away from the hug.

"Um, about what exactly?" Lily asked, her frown turned into one of confusion.

Maddison tilted her head, golden locks caressing her cheek. "About the horrible accident from yesterday? With Manny? I heard that asshole almost hit you with his car! So I just wanted to check-in and make sure you weren't severely hurt or anything."

Lily blinked rapidly and tilted her head up. "Ah, so everyone must've heard about that... fantastic. And there's no need to be sorry, you didn't cause it."

"Well, I mean, as a close associate of his, I just didn't want his actions to poorly reflect on what you may think of me or his other friends." Maddison grinned, her lips forming a glossy pink curve.

Well, I already think you're a sleazy bitch, so what does it matter? Lily thought but instead said, "Wow, that's so incredibly thoughtful of you to check on me. I really appreciate it. But, if you ever see your 'close associate' again, tell him I said fuck you, 'kay?"

Lily shook her hand out of her grip as Maddison's smile dissolved and her rounded eyebrows straightened. But Lily's blunt attitude didn't stop her from responding.

"I'll be sure to pass the message right along," Maddison said, her voice a little less friendly than before. "But honestly, I also just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you and truly hope that throughout our time in this class, we can become close friends. A shoulder to cry on. A small hug. Someone to just listen to you—"

"Oh no, Maddison, let me stop you right there," Lily cut in, holding her pointer finger up. "We've been in school for about four weeks, and you're just now deciding you all of sudden want to be my 'friend?' You can cut the bullshit and just tell me what you want."

Maddison batted her dainty eyelashes. "What I want is for us to be friends. Really. I know we haven't talked so much in these last few weeks, but who says friendships can't blossom in a day? Plus after all the messy drama from last year and now this, I just, you know, want to let you know that I care."

Lily narrowed her deep-set eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, her plain black tote bag banging against her thigh. 

Maddison Liberty was a very complex and sagacious being, something Lily had to secretly respect her for. One could never tell what she truly wanted, even when openly interrogated. She always seemed to be three or four steps ahead of everybody, largely overcoming the "dumb blonde" stereotype. And that's what made her so dangerous. She played chess while everyone else played checkers.

Besides Manny, Annisa, O'Dallas, Chase, and many others, Maddison sat very high up on Lily's list of people she loathed. But, she never fully distrusted her. There were times in the past where Maddison would lend a helping hand that seemed so genuine and sweet. And there were other times where she could be just as malicious and conniving as her other popular peers.

Which was what left Lily lost.

Maddison couldn't be trusted, yet seemed so trustworthy. She had a way of bending and twisting a situation to the point where you wouldn't even know it was her that caused it. Lily had witnessed it many times in earlier years, especially since they shared common enemies, O'Dallas and Annisa. Plus it did not help that she knew everything. Sometimes things that were going to happen before they even happened.

Under all that curled, golden blonde hair, straightened pearly whites, warm ivory skin, and eyes that shifted between a cobalt blue and mossy green like the earth, there was a boundless void of nothing. A vortex of some type of evil and cunning that was mesmerizing, yet deadly.

"All right, all right, fine," Lily started, "I'll put a pin in it for now and get back to you on that." And figure out what you're really up to.

Her radiant smile reappeared as she pulled Lily into a quick hug, the smell of vanilla and fresh strawberries hitting her nose. She didn't have time to decide if she wanted to return the embrace or use it as an opportunity to strangle her, so her arms remained limp at her side. Lily was never the biggest fan of hugs or touching for that matter, but she wanted this conversation to end as quickly as possible. And that clearly wouldn't do without a hug.

Maddison eventually pulled back and rubbed her shoulders, a grin still plastered on her flawless face. She opened her mouth to say something else until a taller figure emerged from behind her, slithering an arm around her slim waist. Lily rolled her eyes when she saw his face and took two steps back from them.

"Hey, Maddie. Lily," Chase Roderick said, his smirk less cordial than Maddison's."Thought I'd find someone gorgeous over here..."

"Oh kiss my ass," Lily responded, not waiting for a reply. She hastily shoved her way past the couple and to her assigned seat.

If there was anyone on her list that was more blatantly cruel, it was Chase Roderick. Typical all-star quarterback for Whitney Hills High School. Very easy on the eyes. More charming than a prince. Yet his raven black hair matched his black heart, and Lily was eighty-five percent sure he didn't have a soul. It was as if his main purpose was to make sure her life was continuously despondent.

Like yesterday, when she "accidentally" knocked her stainless steel water bottle over his desk and it splattered across the front of his jeans, making it look like he peed himself. In her defense, he called her a "waste of space," so it was really just karma at work. But a couple of periods later in the day, she found her locker completely flooded, water leaking out of every hole. All of her textbooks and a favorite notebook were soaked and darkened with smeared ink.

She skipped the rest of her classes to dry everything in the girl's bathroom, including her treasured journal. Its once cherry-colored cover was wrinkled, dull, and stiff; the words on the pages became soggy smudges of lost thoughts. Her efforts to fix it were futile anyway, since an hour and a half after school ended, it was ripped to shreds by Manny Lockwood.

She spent the rest of that evening sleeping and crying, silently cursing Chase and Manny back to hell. She abandoned the other torn half of the journal on the parking lot concrete, too defeated to even look at it again. She salvaged what she could of the rest of her notebook before realizing it was no use and burned it in her living room fireplace. The only reason she mustered up some courage and came back to school was to show them they didn't win. That they would never win. Even though deep down, being in his presence made her feel compact and weaker rather than taunting and powerful.

When she plopped down in her creaky chair, she slung her tote bag onto the chipped wooden desk and clasped her hands together. It wasn't shocking that she also got stuck in a class with Chase. It seemed like a terrible joke the universe was playing on her. Or the guidance counselors. Throughout her life, she'd been shown time and time again that you don't need brains or wit to get into a college-level class.

Just an over-inflated ego, sub-par grade point average, and a dick.

The bell finally rang for the second period to commence, her classmates scattering to their seats. Each person was placed in alphabetical order by last name, another joke Lily suspected her teacher pulled. It meant she sat in front of Roderick, Chase, for the rest of the school year. Being subjected to the stench of his overpowering cologne, the repetitive tapping of his foot on the bottom of her chair rack, and the ever-annoying insults he'd throw about her hair whenever the teacher wasn't looking.

After their eye-sore of canoodling from the back of the room, Chase gave Maddison one last kiss on the cheek —which made them turn rosier — muttered something in her ear, and strolled over to his seat behind Lily. Also taking the liberty of whispering a comment near her ear, his cool breath tickling her wavy, inky black mane.

"Hope you enjoyed the present I left for you in your locker yesterday." She could practically feel him beaming, but kept a straight and unmoving face. Since her talks with Mr. Sterling about moving seats didn't work, she'd have to keep training her brain to ignore him.

Or use the time to plot ways to murder him.

Speaking of Mr. Sterling, the stern, forty-five-year-old teacher fell prey to bad sushi and was bed-ridden for the last twenty-four hours. Making this day two of substitutes and more goofing off. At least the substitute from yesterday, Ms. Flax, gave them an extra day to do work or chat with others about not doing the work. But unfortunately for them, the new sub that day planned on sticking to Mr. Sterling's lesson schedule.

For a substitute teacher, Mr. Jacobs asserted himself as if he were their official one. Though he dressed very homely— boring brown dress shoes, coffee brown pants, dark brown tie, a button-up shirt the color of a tortilla, and light brown skin — he stood with a levelheaded posture and no-nonsense attitude. After conducting model roll-call for attendance — people groaning or sneering at the sound of Lily Reine — he began the activity for the day.

"All right everybody, if you don't know, my name is Mr. Jacobs, and I will be your sub for the day," he said, clearing his throat at the mocha brown podium. "You guys are expected to have a quiz for Friday. So your teacher wanted us to do a quick class discussion on a book you're reading, The Sun Also Rises. Anyone want to start us off and share their thoughts?"

A short girl with an auburn pixie cut shot up her hand, to which Mr. Jacobs pointed in her direction. "I loved it! Hemingway is such a romantic."

Lily let an abrupt scoff roll off her tongue, shaking her head. "Hemingway? Romantic?! Glad to know that we're praising an abusive misogynist who loved alcohol more than himself."

"Well at least he wasn't a stuck-up bitch who has no friends," Chase commented, earning a few snickers from fellow peers, and a deep sigh from Maddison.

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, fuming, and turned sideways in her seat. "Judging from your position, it looks like being male and a prick makes you way more worthy of our time." She then turned towards the substitute. "And if it makes you feel any better Mr. Jacobs, if you were our teacher, I bet you wouldn't subject us to such watered-down literature and the wretched being that is this asshole."

"And is there any chance that we can get Lily to take her Midol before class starts too?" Chase asked, smirking as waves of giggles were heard around the classroom.

Mr. Jacobs sighed, clearly equipped to extinguish unexpected side conversations and crude, inappropriate language. "I appreciate the gesture Ms. Reine, but let's try to stay on topic. I understand it may not be everyone's favorite, but it is required material."

"Yeah Lily," Chase said, keen on getting a bigger reaction from her. "Just because you can't sleep with the main character doesn't mean he's automatically a douche."

A chorus of louder laughs erupted around the classroom, which made Lily's face turn a bright red from anger while Maddison rolled her eyes.

"Chase seriously quit it. Let's try to focus please," Maddison said with a frown. Her desk was just a row over, so it was easy to make out the disapproving look on her face along with the sympathetic eyes she gave Lily. But that didn't make her any less vexed.

His chuckling died down from her look, but his smile remained. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right. Please, Lily, go on. What were you saying about having no life?"

The last comment struck a nerve in her heart that made her breath quicken and eye twitch. He knew exactly what he was doing by mocking and belittling her statements. Making her feel more inferior than usual as payback for something he started. Saying nothing would've helped de-escalate the situation since the class was now in a frenzy of laughter and off-topic conversation. Mr. Jacobs tried (and nearly failed) getting everyone to quiet down, banging a thick textbook on the wide surface of the wooden podium; his voice a mixture between frustration and collapsing confidence.

But the only voice that caught their attention was hers. The words tumbled out of her throat like she caught a case of bad sushi, her teeth gritted and hands choking the back of her seat.

"How about you and you're stupid blonde bitch get a life you abominable cunt!"

She didn't mean to let her rage take hold, but it did. Chase won.

So firstly, my apologies for the delay in updates! I just got out of online schooling for the 2019-2020 school year and was transitioning into my dual enrollment classes for the summer. So thank you for the patience. (Your girl is a senior now, class of 2021.)

Secondly, I also want to thank each and every person who has been adding my story to their reading lists and voting and commenting like crazy. Your support got my book to 3k reads in a matter of two days. This has been one of the few happiest things that has happened to me this year, so really thank y'all again. I'm mind-blown and just overwhelmed at the amount of new support and I hope it continues.

As a young black woman living in the U.S. during these trying times, it's uplifting to finally see my fellow brothers and sisters getting more recognition and support for their artistry or businesses. Though it is incredibly sad that it took yet another death of a black man to get this boost of morale, the fact that people are trying their best is what matters.

So please, continue to support the black community not just now, but for all the days to come. This cannot be a couple week trend, but a true change. And it won't work until we can all keep applying that pressure. If you're old enough to vote or elect someone in your country / state / region, please do so. The people y'all put in power are the people who can effect your lives in more ways than one (i.e., the United States).

I truly want to see a change and am tired of fearing for my life because of the color of my skin. So please y'all, if you aren't, do better.

Because Black Lives Matter. Love you all and stay safe.

~ Robin ~