"what will we do for eunbi's birthday?" yeonjun asked me as we part ways with eunbi, she's in another class.

we both sat and i brought out my lip balm, sliding it on my lips as i faced yeonjun again.

"i can't come." i said and pulled out my pen with my notebook out my bag.

"again? eunbi's expecting you to come though," he said with his knitted eyebrows, "you never come to her birthday."

i sighed and doodled some monsters on my notebook with horns and fires. i made it so creepy that yeonjun looked at me weirdly.

i let him be.

all he care about is eunbi anyways. 

"i have an appointment tomorrow." i said and he groaned.

"y/n, that's always your excuse." he said and stopped when the teacher arrived.

i yawned and looked beside me to see him passed down his desk. we're on the last row so the professor didn't notice him.

this professor speaks so slow and his voice sounds like a lullaby so i can't blame yeonjun.

i stared at his face that was facing me, his hands is holding his pen.

i chuckled at his cuteness. his little cheeks are squeezed together and i couldn't help but to feel my heart beating so fast. my cheeks are probably tinted now.

all i could hear now is just my heart beat.

i stared at him for god knows how long until i didn't notice the bell started ringing, the other students getting ready to get out.

he suddenly opened his eyes and i looked away, embarrassed.

"let's go see, eunbi." he said excitedly and got up like he wasn't sleeping earlier.

that's the reason i don't want this feelings to deepen.

because i know, it's impossible that he'll fall for me when he's already in love with another person.

eunbi.

i sighed and was about to go out when the other girls in the class stopped me, i looked back, to be greeted  by their red lipsticks as they puckered their lips.

"what?" i said, trying not to sound annoyed.

"wanna come to the party later? it'll be fun with you!" they squealed.

i rolled my eyes, "why? because y'all think you could fool me again? shut your red lipsticks." 

"why? are you a nerd now?" they laughed.

"why are you even going with that nerd eunbi, she's poor and isn't even pretty." they said, flipping their hair.

"no brain, no opinion." i said and turned my back hearing all of them groaned.

the fuck i care.

i went to the cafeteria and  ordered salad, gaining attention like how i usually do. my friends call me a bad bitch so they're really confused that i'm friends with eunbi.

some says i just threaten her and other bad stuffs a bully would do to a innocent girl like her.

but that's not true.

we've been friends since elementary.

i found yeonjun and eunbi then she waved at me while smiling. i smiled back and put down my tray.

we started eating and then eunbi opened up a topic about her part time job.

eunbi's not fortunate in wealth so we always offer her some simple things but she always decline. she said she wants to work hard.

"just tell me if something happens." yeonjun said and smiled sweetly at me.

if only he could smile like that to me.

he and her has been friends since kinder and i just met them at elementary. we're all close but i couldn't help but to notice that yeonjun's more comfortable around her.

he obviously doesn't like girls like me. i go to party, i don't like books that much but i study, not as much as they do. i dress according to my mood, not giving a fuck if i'm in school.

he likes eunbi because she's such a innocent girl. she dress so simple. she's such a simple but hard working girl.

of course, he would like her.

i'm not mad or something to her. after all, she's my best friends through out the years. 

plus, i have no plans on telling yeonjun how i feel.

i'll let him and eunbi be together happily, she obviously like him back anyways. who am i to interrupt?

i'm not an antagonist.

"i'm really sorry i can't go tomorrow." i said and she just smiled.

"it's okay, you better treat us some good food after. right, yeonjun?" she giggled.

"a fine dine is okay." he shrugged and we laughed.

he let eunbi ride the car first as he insisted on giving her a ride. i went to my car and sighed, looking outside.

my life is so dull.

so plain.

we arrived at our mansion quickly, maids bowing as i walked pass them. i went to my room and pulled out my phone, getting various of messages from guys.

i placed it on my desk.

what am i gonna do tomorrow?

+

i woke up in the afternoon as we don't have school today. i got up lazily, washed then got ready to get out.

i looked at myself in the mirror and saw how much weight i lost.

i told my maids that i would be home late and they just nodded. i took the bus and went to the bookstore immediately, looking at the shelves frustratedly.

i began searching the certain book with anger.

my eyebrows meeting each other as i cursed.

finally i saw the book and went over the counter, buying a bag too.

after that, i took the bus once again, i just rolled my eyes to the guys who was winking at me.

i looked at the average looking house and went to the door, dropping the paper bag to the side, turning my back.

i looked over the window and saw everyone having fun.

especially eunbi and yeonjun.

i texted eunbi, 

'i delivered your gift, sorry for not coming again. love you, happy birthday!'

i took the cab this time, going to the town. i entered my favourite bakeshop and smiled at the crew who recognized me.

"the usual please." 

they nodded while i sat on one of the tables, drinking iced coffee as the surroundings started to get dark. 

my phone buzzed and saw it was from my dad. i sighed and decided to read it later. 

once they gave me what i ordered, i quickly walked towards the play ground i used to play to when i was a kid.

i saw that it was abandoned, the lights are now all flickering. i sat on the stable swing and looked around.

this place was so lively when i was a kid, i used to play alone since no one wants to be friends with me. i sucked at communicating. all i had was my baby sitter that my dad fired since they suspected her stealing.

my dad is always busy, maybe going home for about once a month. i don't even know how he look like anymore. ever since he and my mom divorced, i don't feel loved anymore.

ever since i was a kid and they divorced in front of me, my dad told me not to even expect my mom to come back, he even told me not to mention my mom's name anywhere. he said i should get her out of my life completely.

because she's a bad person.

i heard my mom was hated by everyone. 

is it because of her big scar on her face?

no.

it's because she's a psychopath. 

i remember when i was a kid, it was my birthday. my 7th birthday.

"i shouldn't have trusted you! i thought you would change, you're still crazy!" my dad yelled at my mom.

i stared at the food in front of me, my big cake as it's already lit up by candles. i looked around and saw no kid came. i thought inviting the kids in the village would work but it didn't.

i was suddenly pulled and looked up to see my mom smiling at my dad with a knife on her hands as she put it near my neck.

"do you want me to kill this kid?"

"she's your daughter for fucks sake!"

"i only used you! i don't care about this kid! i only want my revenge!"

my dad's eyes widened and quickly pushed my mom away. the maids quickly pulled me out of the yard, making me go to my bed room.

tears are in my eyes as i was tucked in my bed.

i sighed and took out the cake, grabbing my lighter and lighting up the candle.

i grabbed my phone and opened up the message my dad sent me.

'i sent you your allowance. i won't be home any soon as always. i already told your body guard everything, just ask him.

happy birthday.'

and that's when i blow my candle with tears in  my eyes.

but i didn't wish anything.

what's the point of wishing something impossible?

ever since my 7th birthday, i never told anyone my birthday, even my friends. 

what's there to brag about?

that my mom almost killed me when i was a kid, celebrating my birthday?

now, i can't even say her name. i don't even know if she's alive or what.

but this is all i know.

my mom, yi choyeon is a psychopath that tried to kill me.

her own daughter, y/n.

at least, i'm celebrating in this place. where my happy memories took place. 

where i had my first friend beside my baby sitter.

where i met him with a sweet smile on his face,

yeonjun.

+

unedited

what do you think about this spin off? 

i hope you all like this even if it's not a bts ff. idc if it'll flop anymore.

love you guys!