A/N- As per usual this is unedited. Please excuse the mistakes, I shall go back and fix them later.

WARNING: THIS MAY NOT BE THE CHAPTER YOU WERE LOOKING FOR BUT IT IS NECESSARY!! SO PLEASE HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT IT. ALSO READ A/N AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE? THANK YOU! It may contain a special surprise for all of you ;D

So sorry if it's too short!

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|Shaylee Love|

Four years ago I was a completely different person.

I was shy, I didn’t talk, I was scared of absolutely everything and I was prone to have a panic attack at least once a day.

I was as broken as a thirteen year old girl could get.

Thanks to the three musketeers, Avery and Liam… I’m a whole new person.

Even though he didn’t know it, Xavier helped me as well.

I will never forget the day the thirteen year old Xavier East first showed me he cared.

My Zave was gone, but in that one moment… he came back to me- even if it was just for a moment.

He made me think he hated me, he scorned me… he broke my heart- but not on that day.

I always wondered how my best friend turned into one of the very people who made my life miserable and drove me to madness- how the sweet boy I knew turned into the monster I once feared then turned into the very person who saved me.

…

|Four Years Ago|

“Would you look who it is, little miss Loveless all by her lonesome. What are you doing here loser?”

Vanessa… I used to blame her- she was the one who took him from me but I knew that was never true. We were two completely different people and his actions towards me and others proved that but whenever I got hurt too badly he was always there… it never ceased to confuse me.

Come on Shay, just don’t say anything. They’ll leave if you ignore them, I bit my lip and darted my eyes around wishing I knew where Avery was. She was my safe haven; she knew how to deal with these bullies better than I did.

“Awh, are we bothering you little nerd? Hey, I’m talking to you” Vanessa bellowed at me, giving my head a hard flick.

She always enjoyed doing that, inflicting physical pain on me. Nothing like a punch, I could always get her in trouble for that but something like a tiny flick or maybe a painful jab to the side. That’s not something anyone will take me serious about.

I winced at the small burst of pain that came from it. “L-leave me alone” I muttered, keeping my eyes down towards my lunch. My hands clenched tightly around the yogurt carton I was holding, I didn’t want to start any trouble. “What’s that little Loveless? I can’t hear you. All that food is getting in the way, you should really cut down you know? No one’s going to want someone as big and ugly as you.” She snarled as she stole the cupcake from my container.

I used to think that was true, that everything she said was true. I was Little Miss Loveless- the girl no one paid attention to or really showed any kind of remorse to, how was I supposed to believe any different?

“Hey!” I exclaimed as I tried to grab my cupcake back. Vanessa laughed at me as I tried to reach for it, I blanched at how much taller she was than me, it wasn’t fair- why was she the one to have this… power over me? “W-what do you want?” I questioned quietly, my eyes closing in despair. How was I supposed to endure this every day? Suddenly someone grabbed my arms and they were pinned behind me, my eyes widened in shock- what in the world? I turned my head and saw a grinning Baylee, my throat constricted and body froze. “Well hey there Loveless, how are you doing today?” she mocked questioningly. I felt my body tremble in fear and I felt my words die in my throat.

No… not again.

I could attempt to deal with one of the girls but once the solo became a duet, I needed to get out of there. “Please, leave me alone” I whispered as Baylee’s arms tightened around my own- I knew that I would have bruises in the morning. Vanessa rolled her eyes “Oh be quiet, god you are so annoying” she exclaimed. My eyes darted around, frantically looking for someone to help me but unfortunately for me no one was around.

They never were.

“Please… just let me go” I whispered brokenly. Last time this happened, things didn’t end up well- I don’t want to go through that again.

I remember coming home with bruises on my sides from the jabs I would get, sometimes my arms and wrists would be purple from how harsh they would grab me. Trevor was always suspicious about what was going on and I hated the fact that I had to lie to him and my parents. I just didn’t know how to deal with it, I was thirteen, what thirteen year old girl wanted to go and rat to her parents? Maybe some did but I was too scared.

“You know, I don’t understand why Xavier was friends with you” Vanessa commented casually as she picked at her nails before waving her hand at Baylee. Immediately, said bully released me but roughly shoved me to the ground. I landed on my hands and knees, wincing as I felt them scrape along the floor. I looked down and felt myself feel slightly nauseated as I watched blood begin to seep from my knuckles. I began to feel slightly dizzy at the sight, blood made my nauseous.

“Get up you pig! I don’t have all day, god you are such a little freak” Vanessa exclaimed. I could feel my fear beginning to rise and I was trying my best to supress it. I didn’t want to have a panic attack right here, I knew Vanessa and Baylee definitely wouldn’t help me if something like that happened. I slowly took a couple of breaths before slowly standing back up. “What do you want?” I questioned quietly.

It was always something.

Vanessa cackled “There are a lot of things I want, mainly for you to drop dead” I flinched at that, feeling the tears pooling behind my eyes but I refused to let them drop “But since that won’t happen… just stay away from Xavier and I. We don’t want you, and I can tell you that he never wanted you- you were just some stupid little childhood friend. The only reason he was friends with you was because your parents are friends. He told me that himself. Let’s be honest here, I am at the top of the food chain, and you Little Loveless, are at the very bottom.” Vanessa began, as she advanced towards me. I backed up against the hallway wall and cowered before her, Baylee was smirking at me from behind her ringleader. I was a pathetic excuse of a person.

This was supposed to be elementary school? It felt more like a living hell.

 Why couldn’t I stand up to her? Why was she doing this to me? Xavier and I haven’t been friends for years…

“Even Xavier hates you, he told me that you were such a loser and he hates how his parents make him talk to you even though he came to his senses a long time ago and broke off your friendship. Good thing he did, you would only bring him down. You’re nothing but a desperate friendless loser, who trails around the rest of us like a pathetic little puppy. You even ruin Avery and Liam’s lives, where do you think they are now? Together- without you because they know how pathetic you are. Why don’t you just grow up?” Vanessa told me, I visibly flinched at her words.

I already knew that Xavier hated me, that’s why I made sure to stay as far away as I could. I did not follow them around, they come and find me. What was I supposed to do?

“Everybody here hates you, I bet if you died right now it wouldn’t even matter. You don’t even count as a person, you are just some low class loser- maybe it would be better if you were gone” Vanessa insulted cruelly.

Those words… those words that I used to believe with every fibre of my being, telling me things would be better if I were dead and I thought that maybe they would be. Her words were cruel as she jabbed me in the heart with her perfectly manicured nail, each word cutting my self-esteem down more and more.

“Let’s go Bay, I don’t want to be here with this piece of trash anymore” Vanessa quipped as she began to walk down the hallway. Baylee smirked at me, clearing enjoying my pain. “Later Loveless” she exclaimed before aiming a kick towards my legs and running after Vanessa. Her kick sent me back to the ground and I could feel the gashes from my earlier fall deepen and I winced at the pain.

That was the last straw, I couldn’t do it anymore.

I didn’t want to live anymore.

School ended quickly that day and I noticed that Xavier hadn’t been in class- I was grateful, I don’t think I could have taken his teasing along with Vanessa’s. I had had enough, and I was ready to get out- no matter what the consequences were. The final bell rung and I quickly exited the school, rushing to walk home and avoid and more confrontations.

My heart and my will was ripped out, stepped on then shredded up- I believed there was nothing left for me.

Fortunately for me, this time luck was on my side.

I was jostled into a couple of walls as I bolted down the stairs, tears running down my face as I desperately ran towards home.

I was a pathetic loser, one of the many names I used to be called.

Loveless.

Loser.

Bitch.

Freak.

Fatty.

Not. Worth. It.

Just. Die.

All these insults kept repeating in my head.

Nothing I did would get them to leave and my tears began to blur my vision as I raced into my house- not noticing the emerald eyes that seemed to follow me into my house.

I was such an idiot.

But thankfully, during my idiocy, I forgot to lock the front door.

I thanked everything holy that nobody was home, it would be much easier this way.

I threw my bag on the ground and ran to my room, I could feel myself bubbling with self-loathing and I think I was on the brink of insanity. When I reached my room I felt everyone’s hate for me bubble up, their words and actions causing me to go over the edge. I was broken and bruised, mentally and physically, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to go back to who I once was.

I had a breakdown.

All my emotions finally overwhelmed me and… I cracked.

I began to scream and yell, I had thrown my clothes everywhere- my closet wrecked.

I threw all my picture frames on the ground; I didn’t want a reminder of the boy who caused me all this trouble. I heard a satisfying crunch as the glass broke into pieces.

I let out an angry yell as I toppled my bookshelf over, my books scattering into a colourful mess on the ground. Along with the books my sleeping pills fell onto the floor, I stared at the little white tablets as they scattered across the ground. My emotional breakdown stopped for a minute as I stared at the inviting pills, my hands itching to...

I bet if you died right now it wouldn’t even matter

I let out another frustrated sound and grabbed at my hair, did people really want me to die? Why wasn’t I worth it? My tears flowed down my cheeks as crumpled to the ground.

Why didn’t anyone show that they cared? …Did anyone even care?

Then suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around me.

“Shh, shh baby girl- it’s alright”

Xavier… it was Xavier…

I wrenched my body away from his and stood up shaking my head and rubbing the tears from my eyes as I glared at the emerald eyes boy. “No! No! Leave me alone! I can’t… I can’t…you!” I shouted, trailing off as I crumpled into a heap on the floor.

Immediately Xavier came down beside me and wrapped me into his chest. I tried to fight out of his grip but he was a lot stronger than me. “Shaybear, it’ll be okay- I promise. But you can’t leave me, you can’t just kill yourself. What would I do without you here? I need you, your family needs you” he murmured into my ear as my body wracked with sobs.

I grabbed his shirt and clung onto Xavier, my tears soaking through the fabric.

“It’s not fair” I whispered, “What did I ever do?” I questioned as my sobs began to subside.

Xavier said nothing for a moment and only embraced me tighter, my body shivering as I clung to him tighter and inhaled his calming scent.

“You didn’t do anything baby girl, I promise” He murmured as he brushed the hair from my face. Xavier pulled back slightly so we could look each other in the eyes. His emerald orbs pierced into mine “But I need you to listen to me, can you do that?” he questioned. I took a shaky breath and nodded my head “Fine” I whispered.

“You are stronger than this, I know you are. You are a beautiful girl and what Vanessa did to you, what I was doing to you… it’s completely unforgivable. But I know that you can overcome this and be the girl you are supposed to be. The only way people can have control over you his if you let them, and you need to stop letting them. Once you realize that, nothing can hurt you anymore. Your family and my family loves you, we need and care about you. Avery and Liam care about you- how do you think they or your family would react if they found you here?” he exclaimed and I flinched, he was right- they would be devastated. “Most importantly, I care about you Shay and I’m sorry I haven’t done anything to show that I do.” He told me, tears began to flow down my cheeks at his confession.

“If you’ll let me, I promise to always be by your side- whenever you need me”

“That’s what you said once, I don’t know if I can trust you” I whispered to him.

Xavier’s hold tightened on me and my face was smushed into his chest.

“I know, I don’t blame you but I promise to change and I promise to always be with you- I swear on my life, please Shay”

I forgave Xavier and he held me until my parents came home.

When they found my room in disarray they immediately freaked out, thankfully Xavier was able to explain to them what was going on.

They apologized and told me that I should have told them- of course I should have but I was weak.

They sent me to therapy for six months out in L.A where my aunt lived.

Xavier would write to me every day and sometimes he even called.

Even Avery and Liam contacted me.

Gradually, I got better and I became stronger.

But soon Xavier’s letters became fewer and fewer until they stopped altogether.

I was heartbroken for a while but then my heartbreak turned to anger before settling to sorrow.

Once I was almost fully recovered, I was sent home.

I was fully intent on confronting Xavier about the lack of contact and his broken promise but…

I found out he moved.

He left me, again.

Then four years later he decides to return.

I wanted to continue to hate him, but I couldn’t.

He wormed his was into my heart, life and most importantly my trust.

He proved to me that I could always trust him, he came back and protected me.

And now… now I am finally getting my explanation, about everything.

Whatever happened next, no matter what he said- I knew that I would be there for him like he was for me.

Deep down I knew…

“I love you”

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Ello lovelies! I am so sorry for the SUPER late update, but I promise the next one won't take as long! I've got part's of it already written out!

Well… this is the update, not too sure how I feel about it and it came out completely different than I originally planned. Tell me what you think! But now you have an inside about Shaylee’s past bullying and some of Xavier and Shaylee’s past relationship! I know you were probably expecting the whole ‘explanation’ chapter and I PROMISE that one is the next one, I’ve got it partly written and because you read this chapter and A/N you get a snippet of what’s to come! Enjoy~ But first!

Thank you so much to everyone who continues to stick with this story and all you wonderful voters, commenters and followers! You mean so much to me and this chapter wouldn’t be out if it weren’t for all of you! So thank you once again for reading, I love you all <3

“I… don’t know what to say”

“We’ll be back later”

“Well why wouldn’t you just tell me about it! Keeping me in the dark is so much worse!”

“I’m involved now and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

“NO. I need… I need to think about this, it’s all too much… I don’t…”

“Well… it looks like you proved to be pretty untrustworthy”

“That mark… on your hip… it means-”

“It looks like that for a reason”

“…Just go Xavier, I want to be alone.”

“I love you.”

Comment? Vote? Follow? Please?

xoxo- Shar