"excuse me?"

oh, damn he's sassy. it's my fault because i woke up this poor man in the middle of the night. what in the fuck is wrong with me? i would like to give myself a good slap in the back for being an aNNOYING FAILURE... i'll just act like i'm desperate need for this man's wifi. i mean i really am.

"i want to use your wifi."

he ruffles his blue-black hair and he widens the door slightly and then started to lean against the door frame. he was still half asleep (i'm sorry cute man), wearing his matching red flannel pajamas without any slippers. ain't he such a genius, dumbass binCH GONNA GET SICK WITHOUT WEARING NO SLIPPERS!!!

he released a long yawn and continued to stare me down. i have to admit, i'm a pussy when people stare at me like that. i get really intimidated.

holy fuck, he's scary.

he stared at me for at least a good amount of seconds and sighed since he probably saw how i probably pissed my pants at this point. his eyes soften and asked, "why do you want it?"

"oh, uh... my internet connection decides to be a dick and won't work on me. i saw that one wifi name connection of whatever in my networks tab and i knew it was you and everything."

he looks at me as i rant to him about my daily life and that he probably isn't interested in. "i'm trying to watch this really interesting drama where the girl is saved by-"

"no."

"what?"

"N.O."

did i- did i hear this bitch right? did he just say he didn't want to give me his wifi password?

"why the fuck not?"

"my wifi bills will increase and i don't want to pay any more than i already do, and if you do decide to borrow my wifi... this is gonna be heard at 3, maybe even 4 in the morning."

"but-"

"goodnight, miss."

as he was about to close the door, i grasped on the side of the door so i could open it for him to see me. "dude, look. this drama literally gave me so much shit already and if i don't finish this show and everything, i'm gonna swing, and not from the chandelier."

"i'm still gonna say the same answer, so leave me be."

"hold on... can i use your bathroom then?"

"why won't you use yours? yours is next door." he point at my door and i turned around and there it was, closed and at least a few yards away.

"i'm tOO LAZY TO USE MINE AND YOUR DOOR IS ALREADY OPEN. if you were in my shoes, the wouldn't you also use the bathroom? i mean, everyone needs to pee at some point-"

"alright, fine. but you need to stop cursing me out, you woke me up and i don't want to hear you constantly talking. go do your business."

he moved to the side and motioned me to enter his apartment. as i entered, it was surprisingly neat and clean. too clean. damn, how the hell is this man so tidy with his shit? mine doesn't even compare what the-

....oh yeah...

i forgot to ask where the bathroom is... there is definitely something wrong with me.

"the bathroom is over there if you are wondering." i got surprised because he read my mind easily than how i asked for wifi. who knows, he might have telepathic powers.

i brushed it off and went straight to the bathroom. i closed the door and i know myself that i just needed the wifi password and wondered if he probably keeps the password on a piece of paper somewhere in his place.

if you're in desperate need for wifi, wouldn't you go out of your way to have it? yes, that's me right now. but, his house isn't messy so it's not hard to find. i flushed the toilet so he'd think i actually freaking peed.

i exited the bathroom and basically searched his kitchen refrigerator with precision. there was no paper that was stuck on his fridge. i sighed and searched for it until i stumbled into his bedroom.

as an honest civilian, his house is neat to the brim. his papers and books are organized and his bathroom is sparkly too.

but his bedroom is a different story. it was not as clean as his other rooms, but it was at least better than mine. i started to explore inside his room.

listen, a hot man like that? i want to know what a hot man's room looks like... don't judge me.

the light from the computer kept distracting me from looking through his things so i walked towards it. when i got up to his desk, i stepped on something. it felt cold and soft at the same time. i looked down and saw a tissue on the floor.

my fingers grabbed it from the floor and picked it up. why it it heavy? i decided to look closer. i think i have an idea what this is. no, i know what this is.

semen. cum. white-goo.

my head faced the monitor and my eyes widen in shock.

what the hell? is this monstrosity?! oh my dear lord, my virgin eyes!!

"what are you doing?" i jumped and i turned and found him standing by the door, crossing his arms. i looked back at the monitor and back at him, giving him a smirk.

"oh my god you are a man."