Prompts from tumblr! Forgot from who but creds to them, but anyway,
yeet. go crazy, kids

• "Well, what can I say? I'm a badass."

• "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?"

• "Just remember if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English."

• "I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass."

• "And you wonder why you're still single."

• "Remind me to kill you. Please."

• "I'm listening to you. I'm just not paying attention."

• "Were you dropped on your head?"

• "My middle finger salutes you."

• "This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you."

• "I don't think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let's be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun."

• "I don't have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."

• "Oh darling. Go buy a brain."

• "Somebody's cranky." "Somebody needs to shut up."

• "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

• "All due respect, but that's a bunch of crap."

• "I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind."

• "I heard that!" "You were supposed to!"

• "I need therapy after this."

• "You didn't get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly."

• "I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned."

• "I think you're weird."
"I think you're boring."

• "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

• "I'm afraid I've been thinking..."
"A dangerous pastime."

• "I'd explain it to you, but you're brain would explode."

• "Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!"

• "The female of the species is more deadly than the male."

• "Don't look in her eyes, she might steal your soul."

• "She's hot, but she's evil."

• "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."

• "I already know that I'm going to hell. At this point it's really just go big or go home."

• "Go on, knock his teeth down his throat."

• "You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater."

• "I'm not a damsel in distress. I'm a damsel doing damage."

• "So stick that in your juice box and suck it."

• "This place holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some... No. No, no, all bad."

• "A little gasoline... blowtorch... no problem."

• "Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun."

• "I know you can't kill anybody, 'cause I can't kill anybody."

• "You're insane, but you might also be brilliant."

• "Why should we date?"
"Because we are attracted to each other."
"I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie."

• "Why does everyone assume the worst of me." "It saves time."

• "I like you. You're different."

• "You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality."

• "Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation."

• "You're questioning my methods." "I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid."

• "I didn't do it!"
"Then why are you laughing?"
"Because whoever did it is a freaking genius."

• "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."

• "Well behaved woman rarely make history."

• "The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor."

• "You haven't even seen my bad side yet."

• "Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a sh*t."

• "How's life treating you?" "Like I ran over it's dog."

• "Rule number one: don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not going to change."

• "Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?"

• "You make no sense to me." "Welcome to my life."

• "Have fun being dead."
"I will."

• "Damn, you're strong for a little thing."

• "Where have you been all my life?" "Hiding from you."

• "I'm getting real bored and impatient. I don't do bored and impatient."

• "The girl is strange no question."

• "Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try no to do anything... stupid."

• "I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people."

• "You are a very strange person." "Well, thanks for noticing."

• "I didn't steal it. I permanently borrowed it."

• "If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs."

• "I don't dislike you, I nothing you."

• "Are you crying?"
"No, I'm impersonating a fountain."

• "Ah, he's playing hard-to-get. That's cute."

• "I feel like a freakin' soccer mom."

• "My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass."

• "My ex? Yeah, I'd still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat."

• "She's complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack."

• "Such big evil in such a little thing."

• "Why do I still like you, knowing you're a total asshole?"

• "I'm gonna make you wish you were dead."

• "I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."

• "This is fun."
"Seriously, we're trying to hide a body."