(The scene switches to Pulitzer's office, where Pulitzer is getting a haircut)

The Newsies grumble in response and Skye said "Ah yes, the song that everybody skips in the soundtrack."

Pulitzer: Gentlemen, The World is in trouble. Our circulation is down for the third quarter in a row.

"Nice hyperbole." Katherine said.

"Well, it's not our fault you can't write headlines." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Bunsen: But, Mr. Pulitzer, every paper's circulation is down since the war ended.

Pulitzer: Whoever said "War is hell" wasn't trying to sell newspapers.

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree." Sniper said in disbelief.

Seitz: We could use an exciting headline.

Pulitzer: What have we got today?

Bunsen: The trolley strike.

Pulitzer: That's not exciting? It's epic.

Hannah: It's boring. Folks wanna know, "Is the trolley comin' or am I walkin'?" No one cares why.

"I've only known her for a few seconds, but she's the only one who has common sense in the room." Smalls voiced.

Bunsen: And the strike's about to be settled. Governer Roosevelt just put his support behind the workers.

Pulitzer: Oh, that man is a socialist.

"I don't care what he did, but Teddy Roosevelt invented the teddy bear, so he's alright in my book." Skye said.

"What's so important about a stuffed bear?" Tommy Boy questioned.

"What do you mean 'What's so important about a stuffed bear?' Stuffed animals are amazing and anyone who disagrees can fight me."

Bunsen: Teddy Roosevelt is no socialist. He's an American hero.

Pulitzer: The man wants to outlaw football for being too violent! Football! Violent?

"I want you to repeat that, but slower. Also, stop smacking the goddamn desk." Skye said.

There was a sharp inhale that was followed by "there are children present!"

"Oh fuck off Davey, it's a miracle that Les doesn't know how to curse yet, especially with the company you keep."

"Will both of you shut your mouths before I give you a real reason to curse for." Spot said.

Pulitzer: You're right. He's no socialist. He's a commie.

Nunzio: Mr. Pulitzer, you must try to sit still.

Pulitzer: Gentlemen, please. You're making Nunzio nervous. And when Nunzio gets nervous, I don't look pretty.

Katherine snorts. "Please, you have that barber over at least once a week, you look fine."

Hannah: You never liked Roosevelt. You wrote an editorial against him day after day when he ran for governer. And guess what, he got elected.

Pulitzer: How can I influence voters if they're not reading my opinion?

"Because your opinion sucks and we're all entitled to our own." Crutchie said.

"This message is directed to the assholes who think that their opinion is the only right opnion." Skye added.

"Stop cursing in front of children!"

Skye stared at the fourth wall. "Someone please make them react to Falsettos when we finish watching this, I wanna see Davey's react to everything."

Bunsen: Big photos attract readers.

Pulitzer: Do you know what big photos cost?

"Oh please, you could easily afford a big photo. You'll make more money than you spent anyway." Smalls said, rolling her eyes.

Seitz: But without flashy photos and headlines, how are we supposed to sell more papers?

"I don't know, you ask me!" Albert yelled at the screen, also throwing popcorn at it.

"You guys are all cleaning when we get to intermission." Skye grumbled.

Pulitzer: (Sighs) The answer is right before your eyes.  You're not thinking this through. People . . .

Spot slammed his head into his beanbag. "He's going to start singing, isn't he?"

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Nunzio knows when he's cutting my hair.

A muffled groan was heard from across the room.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Trim a bit here and then trim a bit there.

"How can you see anything in those dusty. . ." Race looks at Davey for a second. ". . . Ass mirrors?"

If looks could kill, Race would be in the netherworld right now. "You're already taught Les how to gamble, please don't teach him how to swear." Davey pleaded.

Les was just entirely confused, as Davey was covering his ears. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing Les, nothing at all." Davey said in an exasperated tone.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Just a modest adjustment can fatten the bottom line . . .

Nunzio: Mr. Pulitzer, please. Eh.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Shaving is tricky, the razor should float. Shave me too close and you may cut my throat. It's the simplest solutions that bolster the bottom line.

"How can you cut your throat by shaving yourself too close?" A confused Henry asked.

Bunsen: How does that help us sell more papers?

Hannah: We don't sell papers, silly. Newsies sell papers.

"Oh, don't pull us into it!" Mush called out.

Pulitzer: Exactly, silly. Newsies sell papers.

Seitz: (Snaps) I've got it. Right now, we charge the newsies 50 cents for 100 papers.

Pulitzer: Yes.

Seitz: But if we raise their price to 60 cents per 100 . . .

"If you raise the price to 60 cents per 100, you're going to have a lot less newsies to sell papes." Jojo paused and glanced at Davey. "For fucks sake, can't you think for a second?"

Les gave Davey a look, who didn't have time to cover his ears. "Is that why you've been covering my ears? That's a pretty . . ." He gives Davey a smirk. ". . . Shitty reason to do that."

The whole room erupted into chaos, with Specs yelling "gottem!" at Davey, who was screaming into his pillow.

"Why do I bother? Someone tell me why?"

Pulitzer: Now you're getting somewhere.

Bunsen: A mere tenth of a penny per paper?

Seitz: Every single newsie would have to sell 10 more papers just to earn the same amount as always.

"I don't wanna do the work today, I really don't wanna do the work today." Race muffled, his face buried in his pillow.

Pulitzer: My thought exactly. It's genius.

Hannah: But it's going to be awfully rough on those children.

"Listen to the lady!" Mike and Ike said simultaneously. They both looked at each other. "Jinx."

Pulitzer: Nonsense. I'm giving them a real life lesson in economics. I couldn't offer them a better education if they were my own.

"Well, I don't see you throwing me out in the street, telling me to sell papers!" A flabbergasted Katherine said.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Give me a week and I'll train 'em to be like an army that's marching to war.

"Let's get down to business, to defeat the huns!" Skye sang out.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Proud of themselves and so grateful to me. They'll be begging to pay even more.

"There are a lot better paying jobs that exist, so don't get cocky." Buttons commented.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: When there's dirt on your shoes, boys.

"And girl." Katherine said.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: For God's sake, relax. Why throw them out? All we need is some wax.

"Hang on, you guys actually throw away your shoes when they get dirty?" Kid Blink said, shooting a surprised look at Katherine.

"Hang on, you guys actually clean your shoes when they get dirty?" Skye said, shooting a surprised look at Katherine.

"Hang on, you guys actually have shoes?" Specs said, shooting a suprised look at Katherine, Kid Blink, and Skye.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Listen well to these barbershop lessons, for they'll see you through.

All: When you're stuck in the muck, you'll be fine. You'll erase any trace of decline.

Bunsen: With a trim!

Hannah: And a snip!

Seitz: And a shine.

"What does any of this have to do with selling papes?" Elmer asked.

"I don't know, but it's interesting to hear." Finch answered.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: And the power of the press, yes. Once again is mine!

"The power of the press was always yours, what are you talking about?" Romeo questioned.

Pulitzer: The price for the newsies goes up in the morning.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: Just a few common cents, gents.

"And lady." Katherine voiced.

[Singing]
Pulitzer: That's the bottom line . . . (Every new outcome is income for you. Thanks to that bottom line!)

TBC

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And that's the fourth chapter! Please leave feedback in the comments, I really appreciate those a lot!

Written 03/19/2020
Words: 1353