- Chapter 16 - Found -
Warnings: Abuse, injuries, angst
Canon Era
Third Person POV

"Race!" A familiar voice shouts, causing Race to stop in his tracks.

He had been going by his actual first name, but he knew that they knew it, so there was no point.

Race turns around, coming face-to-face with his past 'boyfriends'.

He didn't know if they were all technically still dating or if they were 'ex's since he left, but he didn't care enough to figure it out.

Race turns around, not even trying to put a fake smile on his face.

Spot looked angry, really angry.

It made Race feel a tiny bit guilty.

"Where did you go?!" Spot shouts, stomping up to him. "You left us! Next thing we know, most of us have given up looking for you, and after three years- Three years, Racer! We find you in Staten Island!"

"Congrats." Race growls out, turning to face the two older boys. "You've found me, and succeeded in making me feel more guilty than I already had been." He looks the two boys in the eyes. "Are you happy?"

"Race," Albert's voice was soft, especially compared to Spot's. "That was not our goal. We just want to know why you left." He takes Race's hand in his own. Race's was still small compared to his. "Please."

Race's tough composure almost fell, but he managed to keep it up.

As much as he didn't want to, he pulled his arm away from Albert. "No."

"No?" Spot growls. "No?!" Race flinches. "We've been looking for you and an explanation for three years, Race! And all you have to say is 'no'?"

"Yes." Race's voice didn't sound as tough as before, and Albert could hear it.

Spot, however, was blind to this fact.

Blind with anger, and worry, and sadness, and every other emotion that he had held in for three years.

Confusion.

Fear.

Frustration.

Relief.

And so many more.

"Why?!" Spot continues shouting. "Why did you leave us, Race?! Why are you refusing to tell us?! What did we do to you?!"

Spot stops for a moment, waiting for an answer.

When Race doesn't answer, he just gets even more mad. "We're family, Race! And your boyfriends! Family. Doesn't. Leave!" Spot lowers his voice. "I can tell you that I would've never left you."

Race feels tears sting his eyes. "Family doesn't understand certain things sometimes. Family can't always help you." He snaps bitterly. "Maybe, you leave to protect your family sometimes!" Race was smiling, but it was angry. "And what do you get in return?!"

Spot stays silent.

"What, Spot?" Race whispers. "What did I get in return?"

"Race-" Spot starts.

Race cuts him off. "Getting shouted at, and not only by my biological family. Bruises. Emotional and physical abuse."

Race turns around to walk away, forcing himself not to cry.

Albert's voice helpless stops him. "Anthony, please." Race's breath hitched. "Why did you leave? You left all of us worrying that we did something wrong. If we're going to lose you again, at least give us the peace of knowing that it wasn't our fault." He stays silent for a minute. "Please."

Race didn't answer for a minute, before he hugged himself, tears flowing freely out of his eyes.

"I spoke the truth." His voice broke. "I was protecting you. I couldn't deal with the threats from my father. He was going to kill you. I was living with him in Queens for three years till I finally got out and got him arrested."

"So no," Race starts, turning back to face them. "I didn't want to leave you. I didn't try to make you feel guilty and hurt. I was trying to protect you."

Spot and Albert were crying now.

Honestly, Race was about to collapse.

Race didn't have a job. He had finally escaped his father after three years, a week before.

He had a lot of untreated injuries, since he didn't have the money for medical treatment.

Race was living on the streets, and crying every night, with no sleep.

"Please, Anthony." Albert starts again. "Let us take you home. Let us help you, and you can be a Newsie again for the little amount of time that you still can be. I know that Jack's leaving next week," Albert's voice cracks. "But you can be the leader like he wanted you to, and a darn good one at that. Just let us help you. Let us be a family again."

"Let us be a family again."

It rang through Race's head over and over again.

It was like he couldn't process it.

"Let us be a family again."

"Us be a family again."

"A family again."

"Family, again."

"Jacky's leaving?" Race whispers, more tears filling his eyes.

Albert nods sadly. "Spot left being the King of Brooklyn. Now Smokes is, and Tumbler will take over soon." Race grits his teeth as he tries not to cry harder. "Jack's been holding off on leaving for a while, but he's too old to lead now."

Race collapsed, hitting the ground as he sobbed harder.

His world was falling apart.

Albert and Spot ran over to him.

Jack's leaving.

Spot left.

More people left.

Because I left... I disappeared and caused this...

He could barely hear Albert.

Albert kept saying one thing over and over again. "Not your fault."

"Race, did you try to get soaked by those idiot Delanceys?" Albert questions.

Race chokes back a sob, shaking his head softly.

Albert plays with his hair. "Then it's not your fault."

~

Albert sits down on a bunk next to Race. "Jack's going to be just fine. Same with Crutchie."

Race looks up at him, eyes glossed.

Albert sighs, pulling him into a hug. "Race, it's not your fault. It never has been and never will be."

~

"Shh, Racer, it's okay." Albert whispers against his forehead.

"Why can't I be stronger?" Race whimpers out. "Why couldn't I protect them?"

"Race, it was a bunch of kids again fully grown men and then the bulls." Albert reminds him. "There was nothing you or anyone could do. It was not your fault. For now, we have to take care of your injuries."

"He can't hurt you now." Albert whispers into Race's ear.

He had picked Race up, resting his head in the crook of his neck, with Race laying on him, sitting in his lap.

"He can't hurt you?" Race whispers, the flow of his tears slowly a bit.

"No," Spot answers this time. "He can't hurt us. He can't hurt you. He can't hurt anyone. You're safe, we're all safe."

"I'm so sorry." Race whispers. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Spot and Albert respond in unison.

Race finally let himself fall asleep.

And for the first time in three years, he felt loved, he felt cared for, and he slept well.

1156 Words
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