Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do

Mamma I can sing ... Mamma I can sing ! I never thought I could but I can !

Mamma ... I sang today and went really high !

Mamma ... I made a crack in the glass !

Mamma ... I broke the glass today !

Mamma ... I have a solo in next weeks concert... Will you be there ? .... You will ? Oh mamma !!!

I stood on the wings and heard my name over the speaker . I swallowed my fear and walked on the stage .

There were bright lights and the local newspaper. I smiled and looked in the crowd.

Daddy was there ... And my brothers .... And grandma and grandpa ... And my aunts and uncles .... But I couldn't find you .

"Hello .... My name is Cruthie M. And I'll be singing a song from Le Miserables , here is ''On My Own' " I took a deep breath and began to sing .

"On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me"

I looked into the audience mamma and I still didn't see your face .

"In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever"

I went to the next part and I tried very hard not to let you not being here yet upset me .

"And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us"

I looked into the crowd more and saw someone filming ... And it wasn't daddy ...

"I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers"

As I looked I noticed the ugly curly blonde hair and same ugly purple tie ... Mr. Perfects' assistant.

"I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known"

Why would he be filming this Mamma ? Why ? Where are you mamma ? I began to cry on stage and just pretend as if I was acting .

"I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own"

I finished the song and head the applause. I even heard grandpa say "GO BABY KANGAROO!" And I smiled . I walked off stage

I wiped my tears off and went backstage .

"You sound really good ." My friend said I smiled at him and he asked me what's wrong .

"Mom's not here ... Again " I said . Mark pulled me into a hug and I heard my friends giggle ... I was in 7th grade and he was in 8th .

I got a text from Mr. Perfect's assistant ;

"Can you dub the audio in the recording ... I didn't have a good mic "

Thanks mamma ... Thanks for missing my first solo ....

I guess Mr. Perfect's romantic dinner couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to sing a song .
Thanks mamma ,

With much on my own angst ,
Cruthie M.