"So... Spying on Sophie and Keefe," Cerulean said. "Only the most boring thing in the world."

"Boring but essential," Fox snapped. "Should they ever do something secretly that we ought to know about, this will be a prime opportunity to find out."

Cerulean rolled his eyes and grinned at Savi, but she turned away. He was forgiven, but she... She didn't know who she was anymore. There was something wrong about blindly trusting people. He shouldn't trust her and she shouldn't trust him - facts. Regrettable facts, but...

She liked him. It pained her to admit that, but despite everything, she still liked him, and she wanted to throw herself into his arms and have everything be alright, but she was too paranoid. He was going to betray her again. Maybe he'd switch sides and become good, and then she'd be stranded again, on the dark side without him.

She hated the way she acted indifferent to him now because he was still important to her, but how could she ever trust him again? He would do the unexpected, just like her, and that made him too crazy to rely on. She was equally crazy, but that didn't mean she was crazy enough to trust him again.

"If you're done dreaming, Nemesis," Fox drawled. "We have work to do. Spying."

"Right," Savi murmured, straightening up.

Cerulean glanced at her with concern, but Savi didn't make eye contact with him, instead turning away, her eyes dark. She was a loner, and she always would be. She had trust issues. It was obvious by now.

𝐂𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

Cerulean watched Savi as she followed Fox, her eyes hollow and practically dead. There was a distant feeling to her he'd never felt before, not even in the times when she'd ignored him. Then, she'd been swallowed by anger. Now, she was just empty. A hollow shell needing an owner.

"I'll fix you, Savi," he whispered, so softly even he himself could barely hear it. He imagined the girl he'd first met, ignored practically her whole life, but she'd still been happy. She'd made friends with the outcast. She'd changed him, made him question his decision to join the Neverseen.

And now she was there with him, but she didn't feel like her, not anymore.

"Are you both going to daydream all day?" Fox demanded. "Like I said, we have work to do!"

"I'm not daydreaming," Cerulean said immediately.

Fox snorted. "As if."

Savi glanced at Cerulean, her eyes blank and dead, but she followed Fox anyway with a mourning look in her eyes. A searching look. 

She looked like someone who couldn't find her place anymore. Someone who'd gotten lost in the crowd and been separated from everyone she knew and loved.

She was broken, he knew. And she needed to be fixed. Because the world hadn't deserved her, and they'd broken her until she was twisted into something terrible. Something people would hate forever.

But he never would.

He was like Sophie in Keefe and Sophie's relationship, the one who would never hate Savi. Even if she was working to destroy everything she'd once loved.

Cerulean had no attachments to the Elvin world. They had talked down to him and treated him like he wasn't one of their own kind. Cerulean hadn't been a wanted child. Even his grandmother, patient as she was, had lost her patience with him when his parents had been sent to Exile. She hadn't wanted to raise another child, or live under scorn.

He wanted to make a difference. He would show Theodora that, and she'd believe that he'd only wanted the best for her. Theodora had hated him and never wanted him, but at the same time she'd loved him and cared for him. And he'd given her further scorn by turning to the Neverseen.

But she didn't understand. The Neverseen could fix the Tsynis family. Once they took control, he would reverse the prejudice, make them worshipped. But he knew it would never work, and that was why he questioned himself. Theodora didn't want to be a queen, she wanted to be normal. And... Stupid as it was, he didn't want to be a king either.

And he had been ready to turn when Savi joined the order. That was all sorts of wrong. Savi was... Well, she had her flaws, but only because she'd been made like that. She had been amazing. She hadn't cared that he was a Tsynis, she hadn't even known what that was, and she'd befriended him despite everything. And then he'd betrayed her and ran away, and she'd come back to him. He'd always wondered why she'd run to the Neverseen when all her loved ones were good. But maybe she didn't live them at all.

"Daydreamers," Fox hissed again, and Cerulean snapped back to reality. "Why don't I leave you to work this out, and I'll go spy first. When you finally solve this problem, tell Nemesis to send me a message telepathically."

"That won't be necessary," Savi began, but Fox snapped, "It is."

"I, uh, don't mind?" Cerulean asked. Savi was going to hate him for that, but he had to say it, find out what was going wrong with her.

Sure enough, Savi glowered at him through narrowed eyes as Fox swallowed herself up in shadow and disappeared.

"What do you want, Cerulean?" Savi scowled.

"You to open up," Cerulean responded bluntly.

Her eyes flashed with fear for a moment before it was replaced with calm again. "And why should I?"

"This isn't you, Savi," Cerulean pressed.

Her eyes gained a faraway look to them. "I am what the world has made me," she said finally.

"We can change the world, Sav," Cerulean whispered. He took her hand in his and she flinched away instantly, her hand going to her pocket. He saw the glint of a steel blade and frowned.

"We can't," she said, a little panic seeping through her calm facade. "This is the world as it is, Cerulean. It can never change. And... And people like me don't belong in a world like this."

"I don't belong here either," Cerulean murmured.

But she shook her head. "No, you belong here. It's only because of your surname that people think you don't. You're an elf through and through, Cerulean, and if you weren't a Tsynis you'd be the same as everyone else. I... I was made different, Cerulean. I am different. And I'll never belong anywhere."

"You can belong here," Cerulean insisted, and, knowing that if she didn't feel the same way, he was dead, he still said, "You belong with me."

She let out a soft gasp and her hands went over her mouth.

"I... Yeah. I know we're only eleven, but...  I know that I can't live in a world without you."

Her initial surprise faded. "You've lived without me all your life, Cerulean."

"And my life was pointless."

Savi didn't respond, but emotion sparked in her eyes, something faded, but it was there.

"I can't love anymore, Cerulean," Savi whispered, grief in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I truly am. But this... Love... It's not worth it. And I'd die before I loved someone again."

Cerulean stared back at her, his hopes crumbling before his eyes.

"I don't know what we could have been," Savi whispered, her voice shaking. "Maybe I could've loved you. I just don't know anymore. My life... It's just gone wrong, and I can't trust anyone." She swallowed painfully. "Not even myself. I'm alone here. I know. I have always been a loner, it... Wishful thinking." She didn't say what was wishful, but he understood her perfectly.

"You're not alone," he promised. "I'm here when you're ready for me."

Savi sighed. "Look, I know these... Months have been hard."

Months? Had it been months since everything? Three, maybe four. Yes. It had been months.

"I'm sorry for certain things I said," Savi said carefully. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, and I'm going to selfishly ask you to stay with me, even though... I don't know anymore, Cerulean."

"You don't have to trust me," he promised. "You don't have to confide in me. Just... Don't push me away. Not again."

Her eyes were pained. "I wish I could promise you that, Cerulean, but I'm a loner and I've always been one. A loner who dreams of company that's never to be."

"I hate it when you act serious," Cerulean said.

Savi looked away. "I hate what I've become too."

"Then go back," he murmured.

Her eyes flashed with anger and defiance. "The old Savi is gone, Cerulean. The Savi you loved is gone. You have to respect that."

Cerulean watched her quietly. "I will always love you, Savi, no matter what you become."

Her eyes grew haunted, and she didn't say anything for a long while. He watched her intently as she breathed quickly, her heart rate quickening.

But it slowed again, and she shook her head once more. "We work together, Cerulean. There's no room for love, not when it gets in the way of the Neverseen's goals."

Cerulean stared back firmly. "The Neverseen aren't everything."

"There's no room for love," Savi repeated. "The Neverseen is darkness, Cerulean. Darkness and black holes and eclipses."

"Savi..."

"I told you, I'm different now. Maybe you miss who I was, but... This is how the world has made me."

Cerulean met the broken girl's eyes, and knew there was nothing more he could do except just be there with her.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟓𝟐𝟕

𝐖𝐎𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖, 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃!! 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐀𝐘𝐘𝐘!! 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲!! 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞! :)