I held onto my aching stomach as everyone ate dinner. I offered to clean the kitchen, in hopes it would get me away from food, but Jared said no. He put a single slice of the meat on my empty plate.

"Eat that," Jared said, "and then you can have some dinner."

I shook my head.

"No, I'm not eating that," I said.

"You're only hurting yourself," he said.

A horrible cramp ran along my side. I grit my teeth as I leaned forward. There was a slight chuckle and I looked up to see that it was Gabe.

"I always knew that you were going to be a bit of a troublemaker," Gabe said. "Now, do what Jared said or starve."

"I would rather starve," I said.

"Suit yourself," he said. "You will not keep that opinion for long."

I looked back down at the piece of meat. Images of that poor girl hanging upside down while pieces of her flesh were stripped from her body filled my mind. My stomach twisted and my hand shot up and covered my mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing to try and get rid of my nausea.

"Maybe it was too early to tell you, Leah," Gabe said. "But you did very well watching your first kill."

That's because I was drugged, I thought.

I jumped and my eyes flew open when Jared put his hand on my thigh. I kept my head down and pushed my plate away.

"She has been doing pretty good," Jared told Gabe. He reached across the table and put the plate back in front of me. "This is just one little thing that I still need to fix."

"Don't worry," Gabe said. "This will fix itself soon."

I hate how they always talked over me. If they were not trying to shower me with compliments they were talking like I was not in the room.

"What if she turns out to be like Dylan's girl," Jared said. "Hannah has tried to kill herself multiple times. I already have to watch her to make sure that she does not steal any knives."

"I haven't stolen any knives," I lied.

"Leah, don't interrupt," Jared said before giving my thigh a squeeze. "I just want to make sure that you're safe."

"Hannah has been very difficult," Gabe said. "Dylan has not had it easy with her over the years. They were going to come visit, but I do not think Leah is ready for that. Hannah would probably try to put bad thoughts in Leah's head."

"I promise she won't," I said.

There was one girl that managed to not get brainwashed by this family. There was one girl that gave me hope. If she has been here for years and did not get brainwashed then I could do the same. I could get out of here before they broke me. If Hannah came over then we could get out of here together.

"I don't want to ruin you spending time with your family," I said with a fake smile. "You can have them over. I promise I will behave."

"You will?" Gabe asked. "Prove it to me. Eat that meat."

"What?"

"You heard me. If you are behaving so well you will eat that meat."

I struggled to swallow past the lump forming in my throat. I looked down at the piece of meat. Jared squeezed my thigh again. His eyes were locked on me as I stared at my plate.

"Starving yourself is not good," Jared said. "I am only making you eat this because I know it will keep you healthy."

I had to do it. I had to. I needed to convince myself that this was going to save my life. I could not starve myself. I doubt that this family would not stop myself from starving myself to death. If I did have the opportunity to run, I would not have the strength if I was starving. The knife was hidden under my side of the bed. After stabbing Jared, I would need to be able to run. I would have to run fast.

My shaky hand reached for the fork. The dining room was silent as they all watched my movements. I took in a big breath and lifted my fork.

"Do I have to eat all of it?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jared said. "You eat that and I'll let you have dinner."

I folded the piece of meat in half so that I could eat it all at once. If I was going to do this, I wanted to get it over with as quick as possible. I glanced up to see that Theo had stopped eating, his potatoes were halfway up to his mouth, and was staring. Jenny had her fingers in her mashed potatoes, and Lindsay was distracted watching me.

I closed my eyes before shoving the piece of meat into my mouth. I chewed the meat as fast as I could. I dropped the fork on the plate, and curled my fingers into a fist. The sweet taste filled my mouth. The bile is rising to the back of my throat. I could not throw up this meat. I swallowed the chunk of meat as fast as I could. I had to get it in my stomach before I started gagging.

I held onto my stomach as I took deep breaths in and out. I had to wait for the nausea to subside before I could open my eyes. Everyone continued to stare at me in silence. Jared put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in so that he could kiss my cheek.

"I'm so proud of you," Jared said. "It wasn't hard, was it?"

"You said I could eat now," I said.

"Yes, you can."

I reached across the table for the bowl of potatoes. I filled my plate with as much food as I could, but I stayed away from the meat. I ate as much as I possibly could. The family watched me as I shoved my mouth full of food. I did not stop until I felt like I would be sick. I was not going to eat that meat again, so I needed something to last me.

I was going to try and kill Jared tonight. If that did not work out, I would need to hold myself over until I could try again. I had no time to wait for that Hannah girl so we could escape together. I had to get out of here.

--

After dinner, Jared kept me in the dining room. He was trying to teach me some card game, but my mind was somewhere else. I was too focused on the knife and coming up with my plan.

I was not good at whatever game we were playing, and Jared kept winning. With every win, his smile grew wider. I realized to keep him happy, I would have to do whatever he wants. I always knew that was true, but now I realized that I was going to have to go through with it. I did not want him expecting anything when he drifted off to sleep.

The memories of Jared forcing himself on me caused a shiver to run up my spine. If I was sweet enough to him tonight maybe he would not do it. I had to at least try.

Jared had won one more game before putting the cards back in the box. I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose and gave him a soft smile.

"That was fun," I said.

"Really?" Jared asked. "You weren't very good at it."

"I'm still learning. I promise I will get better."

Jared pushed the pack of cards to the side before standing up. He gestured for me to the same. I stood up and followed him out of the dining room. He wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked up the stairs together. As soon as we got into our room, I pulled away from him and went to the dresser.

"I'm so tired," I said as I pulled out the shirt Jared usually gave me to sleep in. "I can't wait to get to bed."

I kept my back to Jared as I got changed. I did not look at him as I crawled onto my side of the bed. It was almost like I could feel the knife under the thin mattress, but I knew that it was just my paranoia. I curled up on my side so that I was facing away from Jared. He turned off the lights and slid into the bed. I squeezed my eyes shut as he kissed my shoulder. I shivered as his lips trailed up my neck. I turned around to face him. I cupped his face in my hands and held him back from trying to lean in for a kiss.

"I love you," I said softly to him.

I could barely see his face in the dark. The little bit of moonlight let me see that he furrowed his eyebrows.

"You love me?" he said. "You don't hate me anymore?"

"No, I am so sorry," I said. "I realized that all you were trying to do was take care of me."

"I'm so happy that you see that," he said. "I hate having to punish you all the time."

I slid my hands off of his face and onto his chest. I nuzzled my face into his chest. Jared slid his arm around my back and held me closer. Hopefully, I was able to make a sweet enough of a moment that he did not feel the need to force himself on me. The tension left his muscles as he managed to pull me closer.

"I love you," I said again. "My boyfriend was so mean to me. I think that was why I was so worried about you."

"I would never hurt you," he said. "Everything I do is to keep you safe."

"Thank you," I muttered.

I stayed wrapped up Jared's arms and listened to his breath. We lied together for a bit before his breathing changed to a slow pace. I looked up to see that he was fast asleep.

I could start my plan now.