— you took your money and your dignity and got the hell out.

Taylor’s phone didn’t ring again that night, probably because it had died again while she was exchanging a quick laugh with Ethan. Kylian was sitting far away from her, close to his father and the distance was helping keep themselves in check. Kylian’s mother was in deep conversation with Beth, while Lily was playing around the backyard with Kylian’s nephew and niece, like they were old time friends. The celebration dinner was at his family’s house and it wasn’t just them, close friends and family, even Neymar had come along with his sister and there drinks and champagnes and music to numb away the awkwardness she would have felt otherwise.

“hope you’re not planning on drinking that.” She said while Ethan opened a bottle of Coca-Cola. He turned to her raising his eyebrows.

“What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Don’t care if you shower with it but you are not drinking it,  you already had one—”

“you’re not being serious—”

“Dead Serious.” She said, remaining calm and strict. Ethan searched Kylian with his eyes for his help and caught him looking at them, with a smile on his face. He huffed and puffed and left the bottle down, pushing it away from him. “Good boy.”

“Ms. Wilock!” She turned in the sound of her name, Kylian’s father, Wilfred, stood behind her and very quickly took the seat the next to hers, a glass of champagne in his hand. “I hear you are one of the new teachers in the academy. I hope my son is not giving you a hard time.”

“Which of the two?” she let the joke slip, hating herself the minute that she said it out loud. “I mean—when I was with Kylian—coaching him I mean—he was harder—more difficult—” she smiled “Ethan’s fine.”

“Yeah… you and Kylian had your moments, I remember. I mean it does make sense, doesn’t it?”

She was confused “what does?”

“I mean after everything you had written about him; you didn’t expect for you two to just be friends, right away, did you?” he laughed.

Her expression fell. She thought that she was done explaining herself for her work, seemed not. “Me and Kylian have moved passed that.”

“That’s nice. Cause I’ve seen you’ve rebranded your website. You are back at writing, aren’t you?”

“You fear I will turn against your son again?”

“Will you?”

“I was never against your son in the first place. I was simply doing my job. I’ll continue doing it.”

“I guess we ought to be careful of you then. Keep you close enough.”

His smile while he was being bitter was annoying her. He was pretty much an extra version of Kylian, sarcastic and passive aggressive to the point that it wasn’t so passive anymore. She took a deep breath in and forced a smile on her face “like I said, me and Kylian are not bitter with each other anymore, there’s no need to worry.”

“On the contrary that makes me worry even more.” He tilted his head to the side, looked in her eyes “Les rumeurs sont dangereuses.”

She understood the saying. It was one that made perfect sense in any language, rumors are dangerous and terrible and cruel and, in this case, what was worse is that they were true.

“Sir.”

“My number one job is looking after my kids and I always look after them. Especially when I think they are making a mistake.”

“He said you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t” he answered coldly. He moved closer, so only he could hear her “there’s no version of this that either of you survive the war they’re gonna have on you. Kylian’s reputation is hanging by a thread—”

“That’s because of PSG—”

“I hope that it will never be because of you.”

Kylian was watching them with the corner of his eye, he caught Taylor turning her napkin into hundreds tiny pieces and he knew something was off by her expression. Plus, he knew his father and that he wasn’t going to go easy on her. He got up quickly and went to join the conversation but she got up and left before he had the chance to say anything. Kylian looked at his father, raising his eyebrows.

“What did you say to her?”

“I just asked some questions.”

“What kind of questions?”

Wilfred stood up, fixing his tie “il faut être prudent” [you must be careful]

"de quoi ?" [of what?]

“Tu crois que je ne sais pas la vérité sur vous deux ?” [You think I don’t know what’s going on between you two?]

“Pa—”

“C'est dangereux!” he said a little louder.

Kylian’s mother joined their conversation, worried about the tension. That’s when he saw taylor picking up her sister’s stuff and leaving. He excused himself and went after her, stopping her just before she got in the car to drive away with her family.

“Whatever he said to you—”

“Lily is tired that’s why we are leaving.”

“you’re lying”

“Maybe but I’ve heard enough truths today and they are not any better so what’s the difference—”

“Taylor!”

“I’ll see you back at the house.” She said, but there was something bitter in her voice, like she wasn’t as excited and if her family wasn’t here, she wouldn’t have gone to the house at all. Maybe it was the way she kept saying house, instead of home. She left him stranded on the sidewalk, rubbing his head while she drove out of the gates.

“merde” he mumbled, turning around to get back in his old family home. That when he noticed his mother by the door, arms crossed to her chest, looking at him like he was 12 again and he had just done something bad on accident or said something before filtering himself and she was going to give him a lecture about it. Yet now that he was older, she didn’t have to say what she was thinking with words, to know what she was thinking. She was smiling, a comforting mother’s smile. She could have said all the things in the world, all the advices and worries and fears. Instead, all she said was;

“Your father used to look at me that way.”

And it summed up everything.

KYLIAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The floor creaked as he stepped in the bedroom. Taylor’s figure laid covered under the blue sheets on her side of the bed, sleeping. He walked around the bed just so he could catch a glimpse of her face, she looked calmer than before. He thought about waking her, maybe he would have because all he wanted to do was cuddle. He leaned closer, his head on her chest so he could hear her heartbeat, he smiled but his smile faded when he heard steps from inside the living room. He rushed in on his tiptoes and he couldn’t see anyone at first, then one of the chairs was dragged across the floor and for a moment he believed in ghost until he remembered, there was a tiny person staying his apartment now. He saw Lily climbing up on the chair and reaching for the cupboards

“Excuse me ma’am—” Lily jumped a little when she heard him and turned around to face him. She looked at her feet like she was guilty and Kylian smiled. “looking for something?” he walked closer to her and got one of the glasses. “water?” he asked and she nodded so he filled up the glass and gave it to her. He helped her down from the chair and she went and sat on the couch. He raised his eyebrow and followed her, sitting next to her. “can’t sleep?” he asked and she shook her head. Kylian looked at the time, it was 5am. He took one of the blankets and covered her body, keeping her warm. “do you usually wake up at this hour?”

“Mhm.” She answered, drinking her water.

“You want me to get mum?”

“no.”

He clicked his lips and watched at the little girl carefully. Then he looked at the table and grabbed the t remote, opening the television and Netflix. Lily moved closer to him when he did that and she started shaking her head as he passed through all the options until he reached a show called “INBESTIGATORS”. She moved her head up and down at that and cuddled closer to him while the tv played low in the background and it’s light filled the room. Soon he was asleep, with her next to him.

Taylor was worried when she realized he wasn’t next to her in the morning. She rubbed her eyes and put on her robe, went inside the living room. She caught a glimpse of his head laying on couch, the tv playing a kid’s show and she went closer. There was something adorable about the sight, him with her sister, asleep. She wondered how the hell they even ended up like that. She would have asked if it wasn’t for her phone ringing from inside the bedroom. Her ringtone was loud so she ran inside to pick it up before anyone else woke up.

“hello?” she asked, almost breathless.

“Ms. Wilock?”

“yes.”

“I’m coach Wiegman, remember me?”

She thought she was still in a dream because in what world was the head coach of the national English team calling and asking if she remembered her. “of course.” She laughed and sat on her bed “Wha-what can I do for you?”

“I was hoping we could meet during the week. We can talk about Australia”

“this week?”

“Yes.”

She shut her eyes, rubbing her forehead “i—I’m not in England. I’m in paris.”

“You’re working for Paris-saint Germaine again?”

She hesitated “kinda.”

“So you’re not available?"

She wanted to scream “no I am- we can—give me some time, and I’ll contact you again by Monday. Would that be ok?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you.”

She jumped when she felt his hand on her shoulder. Turned around quickly to look at him, he looked sleepy and exhausted, so much so that she wondered what time he slept last night. He stroked her shoulder, letting out a yawn. “all good?” he asked and she had no idea what to answer. Should she admit her happiness? How would that work considering that her happiness would take her away from him? Was she supposed to lie and pretend? Did she really want any more lies between them? Any more bitterness?

She went for the third option, fell in his arms and hugged him as tight as she could, cause he had grown to be so important to her in so many ways. Kylian accepted the hug, no questions asked and puled her closer, giving her the comfort she needed. He kissed the top of her head.

“I’m sorry about my dad."

“I’m sorry for running out.”

He snorted “we are getting better at this” he mumbled in her hair and she smiled.

“Maybe.” She paused, closed her eyes “but it’s still going to fast.”

She felt him tense in her arms and pull back, there was this expression on his face like he wanted to know more and wanted to change the subject at the same time. She didn’t even know where to begin, all she could say was “they called me from London.”

“About what?”

She never got to finish what she was saying. Lily had gotten up and so had Beth. Taylor rushed inside to help them with everything. Kylian sat on the bed, looked at her spot and he could swear, he could already see her shape disappearing.

They were the best at ignoring situations and pretending everything is alright, so that’s what they did while Beth and lily were staying with them. It was a sort of silent agreement between them. Taylor would spend most of her time with them, driving them around her favorite places and then Lily would tell Kylian all about it when she’d get back home. Taylor would watch them laughing together from the other corner of the room and she liked the view more than she liked to admit.

“Are you going to come back to england with Tay?” she asked him while sitting on his lap. Taylor almost dropped the glass she was washing when she heard the question and looked at them from the kitchen. She didn’t know if they knew that she could hear them so she remained completely still, waiting for kylian to respond, unaware of why she cared as much for his answer.

“Do you want me to?”

She nodded. “I want you both.”

Kylian smiled “you miss her?”

“Sometimes. But it’s nice to have this nice house too.”

“Well, you can come any time, even when you are grown.” He rubbed his nose against hers and she laughed.

“Can I bring all my friends too?”

“All of them. Every single one.”

“Thank you Kyky!” she dropped her body on his and laid on his chest. Kylian rubbed her back, enjoying the moment.

“You won’t have to miss your sister for too long, I think.” He whispered and she heard it.

The day they left taylor took the long way back to the house, it’s like she knew that she’d face a storm once she got there, they both would. She never told him about the offer, even though  she was certain that she’d take it. Yet, deep down she felt like he already knew at least some of the truth or had figured it out by himself.

She put the keys on the lock, unlocking slowly, expecting a wave to hit her the minute she was inside the leaving room. She was met with the familiar sound of tv playing on the background and Kylian’s figure sitting and chilling on his side of the couch. She walked slowly over to him and left the keys on the table, neither of them saying anything at all to each other. They watched television, ignoring the demons sitting in between them. The episode was over and they had to make a decision, keep going like this or talking. Kylian was the one that reached for the remote and shut off the television before the next episode started.

Silence. Who knew silence could be so cold?

“When are you leaving?” he asked and somehow the question was colder. She cuddled herself, shrinking in her corner of the couch.

“how much do you know?”

He bit his lip and looked at his hands “I spoke with Jude.” She scoffed and got up, annoyed. “you weren’t exactly talking to me Taylor—”

“So you decided to go behind my back like you’ve always done—”

“What was your plan? Packing up and leaving without saying anything at all?”

“You really think I’d do that?” she asked, louder.

“I don’t know. I mean I thought we were better at this, right? But turns out our communication is still as shit as it used to be the day we met—”

“Maybe that means something!” she shouted.

“like what?”

“That this—” she waved their hand between them “this is not supposed to be like this.”

Kylian looked in her eyes, hoping to find a lie in her eyes, an excuse to believe that she didn’t mean what she said but she did. And what’s worse is that she was right. He had given her so much, so quick, on hopes that it would make up for all the reasons that they couldn’t be together. He was trying to fix a sinking ship with paper towels. She approached him, slowly, sitting next to him and reaching for his hands, interlocking her fingers with him.

“your father never said anything offensive really. He just held up a mirror. Rumors are a dangerous thing. Honestly I don’t know if he’s trying to protect you or me.” She brushed her thumb over his skin, she was going to miss this feeling. “You did so much for me ever since I came back and I want to offer the same and I can’t because I don’t have it. I’m not talking about material things, I’m talking about myself” she paused “this has been one of the happiest periods of my life but you know me. I can’t stay in one place for to long and I can’t be following you around forever either.” she sighed “I can’t be Mbappe’s girlfriend, at least not now that I’m starting out.” She smiled, thinking of her small successes “the website is doing great. If I go to Australia for the world cup, I can journal so many more teams and have so much more stuff to talk about. Maybe a stable position in the national team.”

“you should go.” He whispered.

She raised her head immediately. Found his eyes. He meant it.

He moved his fingers so he’d be holding her hand better and forced a smile on his face. “I was the reason you lost one chance at this, I’m not going to be the reason you lose a second. You should go, and I’ll even help you pack your bags before you change your mind.” He stroked her cheek, his thumb stroking over the tears that had appeared under her eyes “cause it’s what you deserve. A career bigger than anything I could ever give you.”

She sniffed back the tears but that didn’t really help. She wiped them away and looked deep in his eyes, held his face in her small hands.

“you were my little death.” She whispered, her voice breaking and he lowered his head at her confession because it was to heavy for him. So she held his face tighter and forced him to look at her while she continued “we did so much good for each other. I didn’t even know what being in love was like before you” She smiled “and now I’ll always love you like I’ll never love anyone else.”

He smiled, holding on her hands. He used to be scared of love himself. He used to be afraid of loving people, terrified that that alone would hurt them eventually. He had a choice of loving her enough to let her go and he would.

“Me too.” He said in between his sobs and leaned his forehead on hers, needing to be as close to her as possible. “Ma petite mort.” They were both crying, both letting it sink in that this was not the time for them and that was ok. She’d go. He’d stay and they would be ok.

The next week passed by quickly. She was happy that she was there for the announcement of Kylian getting assigned as Captain for his National Team. She was there when she got the call confirming it and jumped on him the minute he hanged up. She didn’t let him go that night, not because it was one of their last nights together but because she wanted him to always remember what her embrace felt like. She stroked his hair while he stayed wrapped around her, his head laid on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. She had a unique kind of rhythm; he had memorized it. Making sure that it always beat as it should be. That was the last celebration the shared together and not through long distance text messages that were kept short on purpose in an attempt to save each other the heartbreak. Of course, they, didn’t even know that.

Kylian tickled her under the sheets and she fought with him, trying to roll away and save herself from his annoying fingers. He enjoyed listening to that laugh, he wanted to record it and use it as an alarm in the morning. Taylor grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop and rolled on top of him, holding his hands down. He looked up at her, smiling because he was enjoying the view.

“You’re being naughty.”

“I have to annoy you while I still have the time.”

She lowered her body, reaching his lips and pecking them softy “you’ll be annoying me way after I’m gone for a long long time.” She whispered.

“really?” he smirked “how is that?” he slid his hand away from her hold and let it hover over her hips.

She licked her lips, already feeling the torture piling up, already needing him. “you’re really going to make me say it?”

He other hand reached under the blanket, his fingers gently brushing up and down her spine. She wanted to slap that smirk of his face. “you’re gonna get all shy on me now?”

“I don’t get shy.” She shook her head, biting her bottom lip “and I told you the day we met I don’t get intimidated either.”

“So, tell me.” He hand moved closer to her thigh and she gulped. She let her body fall next to his and reached for his hand under the sheets, interlocking her fingers with his. She pulled it closer to her body and down to her inner thigh and she smiled when she saw him getting serious.

“you’ll annoy me because I’ll never be able to forget your touch.” She moved closer, her lips barely touching his “ever.” She whispered and he took it as an initiative to touch her, the only way he knew how. His fingers crawled under her underwear and made direct contact with her clit, pushing and stroking lightly while she tilts her body back, enjoying it, taking it. He moved over her, his lips on her neck, licking and biting on her skin, just under her ear. The thought that anybody else would be doing these things to her was driving him insane and if anyone else had to make her feel like that, then he had to remain the best, the most memorable.

She gasped for air as he slid his fingers inside her, while his lips remained on hers, sucking on her. He could take her life right now and she wouldn’t complain. She wouldn’t say anything, she’d let him do it. But maybe that’s what was so dangerous about them, how easily they’d ruin themselves just to have each other. When he got his fingers out, she tasted herself from him and he grinned as she did that. He took off her night gown, revealing her body, the body that he had grown to love in ways that he’d never be able to put in words. He could only show her by worshipping as he had done on the first night, in her small messy apartment. The night when he felt a threat about this woman and it was never about the reports, it was because she could see through him, he had allowed her too without even realizing it. He left open-mouthed kisses on her stomach while she messed with his short curls, the only fingers that were allowed to touch them and mess with them as they pleased.

She thought of how his dirty mouth on the first day they met had cursed her and how now he made her feel like she was a holy prayer in between those very same lips. She thought of how she had tried to refuse these lips and failed it’s time because if it was a sin, it was the most heavenly one she had committed and she knew that in one way or another she’d commit it again.

They reached their climax together while he was inside her and they held on each other, making a note of this moment in their heads. He let his body fall on hers while they breathed loudly on each other’s ear, like they had just come out of the ocean. One last time, so they’d always remember killing each other and bringing each other back to life repeatedly.

Next night was her last in Paris...
They arranged a dinner, this time she wasn’t going leave without saying goodbye to her favorite people. They sat on Kylian’s living room. Kylian was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on the floor in between his legs, her one had tight around his leg and the other holding a glass of the finest red wine that Kylian could have found.

“I think Leo is relieved.” Said Kylian, pointing at his teammate.

Messi laughed, shaking his head “I’m just happy I won’t have to be wary of catching you two together on the showers anymore.”

Taylor chocked on one of the chips she was swallowing when he said that. She started coughing, bending forward while Kylian patter her back repeatedly to help her. She took a deep breath, clearing her throat and looked at Leo and Antonella. Leo had a smirk on his face, Antonella was sipping on her wine like giving a playful look back at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Neymar was laughing like a kid, that obnoxious loud laugh of his. Kylian, stroked her shoulder, comforting her. “Leo was there one of the times you and I—you know—”

“NO, he wasn’t!”

“I wasn’t there for the whole thing, no.”

“I—” she struggled, she wanted to hide under the couch and never come out at all “you mean—did he? When—where—oh my god I wanna die.”

“Hey listen it’s ok!” said Neymar, filling his mouth with enough chips “you’re not the first ones he’s catching in action—”

“I’m gonna throw up.” She looked at Kylian “you knew about this?”

“He kinda told me after you left.”

“Told you what?”

“He had seen us a couple of times—”

“A COUPLE OF TIMES?” She got up, walking back and forth in the room. Even Antonella was laughing now, but perhaps the most comedic one of all was Ramos, who had stayed with his mouth half open and a piece of chocolate cake on his hand, looking between all the people on the room. Kylian noticed it, nodding towards him.

“You ok man?”

“You two dated before she came back from England?”

“he’s only getting that now?” Asked Neymar, looking at Antonella.

“You boys are known for your quick passing, not quick thinking.” She said, smiling. Neymar rolled his eyes.

“What matters is that I was the first to figure it out.” Said Neymar, raising his glass.

“Hm.” Messi tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes “pretty sure I caught them before you figured it out.”

Neymar looked at him annoyed. “no you didn’t.”

The two started arguing about it. Taylor sat on Kylian’s lap, getting comfortable while Ramos joined the argument, complaining that they should have let him in on the secret. They were like little boys, her boys. Kylian kissed her cheek, while he watched them as well and the two cuddled as close at they could to each other. “I’ll miss this.” She admitted and he smiled.

No one wanted to leave that night. The boys started playing FIFA around 1am, promising that they’d stop every five minutes but it was already 4am and they were still playing, drunk and loudly. Taylor started cleaning up, hoping that that would get em getting up soon. Antonella caught up on it and started helping. The two of them ended up alone in the kitchen over the sink. Taylor was washing and Antonella was drying the dishes, wiping them with a towel.

“it’s a huge opportunity. I have Jude to thank for that.”

“And yourself. Don’t forget that.” She said and taylor looked up at her, handing her another dish “Jude helped but if it wasn’t for your talent and your hard work, you wouldn’t be getting anything. Humans tend to forget that, give more credit to other than they do to themselves.”

Taylor smiled “yeah I guess you’re right.” She looked behind her at the boys on the couch, she could only see half his face but it was enough considering tomorrow she wouldn’t be able to see any of it “but people really help each other, don’t they? One person can make such a huge difference.”

“It doesn’t have to be the end, you know?”

She looked at Antonella “doesn’t it?”

“No.” she smiled. She looked to where Taylor was looking before “I’ve been where you are now, in a way. Look at us now.” She looked back at Taylor “the first time he left for Barcelona I couldn’t imagine we’d end like this. First loves work out only in movies and books.” She grinned “I was wrong.”

Taylor felt a tear roll down her eyes, she wiped it away quickly, forcing a smile on her face “you were lucky.”

“Maybe. But anyone who has felt love like this is as lucky as us and luck may take time but if you have it, it always works out in the end. When it’s supposed to be.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Image
Neymar was the last one to leave. Taylor helped to his car when his driver arrived. He stopped out of it and looked at her, smiling. “I knew you had it in you the day I met you.”

“Did you?” she asked, smiling.

“I won’t say goodbye.” She scoffed, crossing her arms. “Because we will see each other again soon. Some sort of award show, Balloon d’or.”  She laughed, looking up at him.

“What am I getting it for?”

“You’ll be head coach of national team one day.”

“Oh really? You think so?”

“I know so. We’ll be on the sidelines.”

“Neymar Jr. on the sidelines—“

“Don’t forget Leo.”

“Of course, how silly of me, Neymar Jr and Lionel Messi, on the sidelines. It sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke.”

He shrugged “you’ll see.”

“I’m sure.” She smiled and stepped forward, tying her arms around him. “I’ll miss you no matter how long it takes to see you again. Do me a favor.”

“What?” he whispered in her hair.

“Don’t give up yet. Your final game, it needs to be somewhere you are respected, with both your feet on the ground. It needs to be a show to be hold and I wanna be there for it.”

He was crying too now. He pulled back and smiled at her through the tears, he nodded “deal.”

When everyone left, they made a cup of coffee for each and sat on the balcony. Watching the sunrise, cuddled with each other. little Luna was laying curled up in a ball I between them. They agreed of her going to the airport alone and skipping over the melodrama, they didn’t want to have that memory and they promised this would be their last memory together, laughing and talking about work while the sun came up. Taylor realized in that moment she wasn’t afraid of daylight finding them together anymore and if the sun dared to ask what she was doing, she’d answer in one breath “loving him.” And in her heart, she knew that he’d answer exactly the same and that was enough.

It wasn’t short time, he thought while he tangled his fingers with hers and hid his face on her hair, it was a whole life that they’d eventually live again, maybe somewhere else, as different people.

“You sure you don’t wanna take her?” he asked, while Taylor was petting luna behind her ear.

“I’m afraid she’d find London incredibly dull.” She whispered “she’s a true parisian.” she smiled "take good care of her please."

He smiled and squeezed her closer to him. "i will."

“And Don’t let Real Madrid go. Chase it, PSG is comfortable but every golden cage is.”

“on one condition.” He spoke.

“I’m listening.”

“No matter how many years. You’ll be there for my first match with Real Madrid, no matter where and how we are.”

She smiled, looked at the sun and the orange sky. Luna moved a little, getting more comfortable, she squinted her eyes so she wouldn’t go completely blind by the sun. How romantic,she thought. She knew exactly what to say.

“I promise.”

Ummmmmm.... It's over? I guess so. It feels so weird having spent so much time with you and these characters to just let go. I got to meet so many people because of this story and made incredible friends. It helped me bring back my creativity and have fun and allowed me to be spontaneous. What started as a one shot finished as a 200+ pages and 116.000k+ words. It's insane. Thank you for allowing me to turn a silly fan fiction into a whole ass novel and have the time of my life 🥺 it was an insane ride and i can't wait to hear your final thoughts and feelings on the story.  You think Taylor keeps her promise in the end? Are they going to meet again? Will their love story be as epic as the one of Antonella and Messi? We'll see 🫣