isn't it a strange feeling?

the one where your mind is limited to an extent of thoughts
they are just resting peacefully in the back of your mind for you to view later

when your body is rested and you don't feel the need to get inside your bed every second you're out of it

when your hands aren't fidgeting
just resting normally in your lap as if nothing is wrong
and your fingertips aren't itching to pick at your frayed jeans or your ill-groomed nails

when breathing is easy
every breath is soft, uncomplicated
getting past your lungs without a pause in the middle

when your clothes don't seem to swallow you

your wrists are visible through your sweater because you aren't pulling at the sleeves
and the button on your jeans is visible because you aren't pulling your shirt down to cover more of yourself

when your feet are mobile
aren't cemented to the ground not allowing you to move
they're free, gliding across gravelly roads and smooth marbled floors

when you don't find that one kid in the class annoying
their voice doesn't sting your ears
and you don't push your face against your palms to block out their words

somehow today you manage to block them out
so much so that they don't affect you

when your mother isn't tired
she doesn't snap at you or ask you persistently about whether or not you're doing well at school
she just gives you comforting smile and hands you a cup of hot chocolate

when your father doesn't come home in a sour mood
he doesn't yell at you without context and he doesn't leave his dinner unattended
he is cheerful and happy and wishes you a goodnight before disappearing inside his room

when you feel hungry
you don't refuse to the chicken salad your mother is giving you
and you don't throw up immediately after a bite
you eat it peacefully, your eyes focused on the tv show that's playing on your old laptop

you feel strange all day

even though you're grateful for it
grateful for things not going wrong

your mind doesn't let you accept that everything is going normal for once

it feels weird,
unnatural

and isn't it sad that you only feel happy when you aren't?

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i wasn't going to post this one but i thought some of you may relate to it