Softly I breathe out. "Columbia and UCLA."

At first the car is so quiet that I can hear my own shallow breathing and the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I know that each boy desperately wants me to pick their school, wants me to decide to go to college with them.

To be with them.

To ultimately choose them.

Although I doubt they'll voice that while we're all together in a car with their friends.

But it isn't that easy and it kills me.

Just kills me because honestly, despite what people say, it is possible to love more than one person at the same time.

And I do.

I love them both.

Sebastian's passion, his ability to render me senseless with just his mere presence. How he always makes me feel so safe, wanted, loved. Treats me, us, our whole relationship like its adult. Like it really is meant to last forever even though we are young and fell so hard, so fast. The way my eyes are instantly drawn to him when we are in a room together. How everything feels so easy when we're together. Us against the world. Alone in our own little bubble, everything else just falling away.

Hunter's boyish charm. The fact that the only thing he seems to be afraid of is me, losing me, hurting me, disappointing me. How he pushes me to try new things, to be unafraid of just living in the moment. Being young and irresponsible sometimes. The conversations that just seem as natural as breathing. Losing hours together because we click so well. That invisible thread connecting us despite it being wrong. He's seen me at my most vulnerable and held me together at the seams.

How do you choose between two people who are absolutely perfect for you?

The silence feels like it lasts for an eternity but it really is only a few seconds.  And then the comments start.  Although the two boys my decision effects the most are noticeably silent.

"That's a no brainer Shann, come to Columbia with Bas and me."

"Yea, New York is great for theatre.  I mean Broadway!"

"I don't know you guys.  UCLA has a really good program.  Shann, did you get an offer from the School of Theatre, Film and Television?"

I nod mutely Nick's way as I'm sitting sideways in my seat.  Sebastian reaches forth and grasps my left hand.  I glance back at him and then switch my gaze to Hunter who is trying in vain to keep his eyes on the road.  I can see his fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel, like he is debating on whether or not to grab for my hand as well.

Nick continues with his reasoning, "Guys, I looked into that program.  It's really, really hard to get in to.  Honestly if I got offered something like that I wouldn't pass it up."

I sigh, taking my sunhat off my head and setting it my lap. I run my hand through my hair nervously. My voice is soft when I reply, "See, Nicky gets it. It's a difficult choice." Sebastian squeezes my hand, pressing a small kiss to it before he lets it go. "Princess, whatever you decide on I'll be there to support you. You know that."

I nod. Although I wish it were that simple. Would he still be there for me if I didn't choose him??

I turn back around in my seat as Hunter finally speaks up. "Guys why don't we listen to some music. Help us pass the time. This trip is supposed to be fun, we can worry about the future later." With that he reaches forward and flicks the dial for the radio. I'm nibbling nervously on my fingernails.  Before he moves his hand back to the steering wheel he reaches out to pull my own away from my mouth. Quickly he squeezes my hand and I glance over to look at him. His voice only carries loud enough over the music for me to hear it, not loud enough to travel to the boys in the backseat. "Angel, I'll love you no matter what you decide. Although I'd like it better if you chose me..."

I spend a decent bit of the trip staring out the window watching the scenery pass me by.  The boys are amusing themselves, usual travel games, goofing off.  They're singing along to the radio, trying to distract me, cheer me up like the lovely singing birds they are. Eventually they begin to get restless so I'm glad I packed a bag full of snacks.

I pass food and drinks to the back seat. Jeff is being exceptionally twitchy. "Jeffrey, please stop poking everyone. Eat your snacks. And don't spill or make crumbs. Otherwise Hunter is bound to yell at you later." Jeff mumbles back a soft yes mother.  Hunter laughs at that, "Anderson, it is cute that you care so much about my car."  I laugh, glancing over towards him, deciding it is okay in this situation to be a little playful.  "Clarington, I love your car.  You, ehh, not so much..."

"Sure Shann.... You just keep telling yourself that..."

I'm giggling to myself as Nick comments from the back seat.  "Dude, they're like brother and sister or something." I shake my head, if they only knew. And then I hear two voices softly commenting, Sebastian and Hunter speaking almost simultaneously.

"If this was Kentucky..."

"Or something..."

I roll my eyes as I pass more snacks back to the boys in the back seat, which they grab eagerly. I can almost hear the smile in Sebastian's voice as he speaks, so much so that I'm filled with such happiness inside.  "Isn't my Princess amazing?  She is going to make an awesome mom someday." I spin around and scrunch my nose up at him, he winks back at me. Nick starts whining about being cramped and the trip taking too long so I shoot back at him, "Just eat your fruit snacks. We'll be there soon."

At almost that exact same moment I hear Hunter calling out in a super frustrated voice, "Harwood! Sterling!! If you two idiots don't stop kicking my seat I swear I will leave you at the next intersection."  Quickly I stretch my arm out and grab hold of Jeff's wrist as he leans forward again.  My voice is soft yet firm when I speak again.  "Jeffrey, Thaddeus please be good you guys.  Please.... We're almost there.  Be good, for me..."  I bat my eyelashes sweetly at them.  Jeff nods dumbly at me as I release my hold on his wrist.

Thad has a smirk on his face as he turns towards Sebastian. "Bas, they're acting like our parents. She's the sweet, kind mom and he's the angry dad. It's kind of hysterical."  Sebastian just rolls his eyes, "Harwood, don't encourage them."  I stick my tongue out at him and then turn back around in my seat.  "Sebby, you're no fun."

"Smythe, why do you have to be such a killjoy?"

I'm pouting now.  "Hunter, they just don't appreciate that we are the youngest in the car yet still are acting more adult than all of them."  He laughs at me as we finally arrive at the hotel just outside of the amusement park, "Shann, as cute as you are, pouting now really does nothing to support your point."  I stick my tongue out at him as he shuts off the car.

Thad, Nick and Jeff scramble out of the backseat, grabbing their bags in a hurry and shooting off into the building.  Sebastian is a little slower leaving the car but when he does he comes straight to my door.  Opening it and offering me his hand to help me out.  He kisses my hand as he lifts me out of the car, holding me tightly in his arms.  I wrap my hands around his neck as he basically holds me in the air, my feet hovering off the ground.  "Love, I missed having you in my arms on the drive.  I understood the chivalrous sentiment but I would have rather had you sitting on my lap, arms wrapped around you for the whole ride."

I giggle, "Bastian, you couldn't have lasted that long without being distracted.  I know you. I'm your weakness." He hums in agreement moving in to kiss me again when we hear someone clear their throat. He looks away as I slip back down to the ground. Hunter is standing off to the side with three bags surrounding him.  His eyes are narrowed at Sebastian but soften instantly when they meet my own.  Sebastian smirks his way, moving directly behind me and wrapping his arms securely around my waist.  "Jealous Clarington?"

"Smythe, you've got your hands all over my girl. Of course I'm jealous. But unlike you, I'm man enough to admit it." I look up at Sebastian who seems to be staring Hunter down for his comment. I shake my head and then change my gaze to Hunter, giving him a sweet smile. He seems to melt, unable to help his own giddy smile from reaching his lips. I extend a hand and he comes over warily to grab it since Sebastian still has his arms wrapped around my middle.

The noise Sebastian makes when my hand touches Hunter's is a low growl, animalistic, territorial. Softly I murmur up to him, "Sebby, be nice. Remember what I said in the hallway..."  He sighs and releases his grip on my waist some.  "I don't want to lose you Princess."

I open my mouth to speak, Sebastian's hands on my hips and Hunter with a light hold on one of my hands when a voice startles me.

"Miniature Anderson babe!"

Hunter's eyes immediately go wide and he drops my hand.  Sebastian pulls my body flush against him, arms winding around my waist tightly again. I sigh loudly as Puck approaches us.

He's got a mischievous grin on his face.  "What's up Smythe? Anderson babe, how's my second favorite miniature girl?  Hey, random other Warbler she's screwing.  How goes the sick twisted love triangle you guys are playing with?"  Hunter looks at me with panic in his eyes.  I just roll my eyes.  "Really, must you be so loud Puckerman??"  Sebastian is laughing as I gesture towards Hunter who looks like he wants to hide, "And he has a name.  Hunter please don't look so panicked.  I told you about Puck finding out right after it happened."

Recollection crosses his face, he pulls himself up to his full height towering several inches over Puck although both boys are of similar builds.  He extends his hand for Puck to shake.  "Clarington, Hunter Clarington.  Who names their kid Puck?  Isn't that a fairy from Shakespeare?"  Sebastian snickers behind me as Puck shakes his hand.  Puck smirks at me as he lets go of Hunter's hand.  "Hate to say this in front of Smythe, but Anderson I like him.  He's got balls."

I sigh.

Because that's the problem.

I like him too.