Things change.

People change.

Honestly...

It isn't always bad. Sometimes it just is...

Nothing is really the same after Blaine's party. Because after something like this comes to light things just can't go back to how they were before. Sebastian and I don't break up. But it's not the same. We're not the same. We're more guarded. Maybe we were moving too fast before. Rushing things.  The engagement isn't called off, not officially. But we're giving each other time.

He's giving me time.

Time to figure out my feelings.

Feelings about him.

Feeling about Hunter.

So we're still dating each other. But no longer strictly exclusive. Well I'm no longer strictly exclusive.

Sebastian is just seeing me.

And Hunter.  Hunter is just seeing me as well.

But I'm trying to sort out my feelings with both of them. Neither pushing me into anything that I am uncomfortable with before I am ready.

It just sucks that all of this happens right before Valentine's Day. I thought it would finally be my first year with an actual valentine. I thought Sebastian was supposed to be my forever valentine. Who knows, maybe he still is. But instead I plan on spending the evening alone, Chinese takeout, homework, a 'B' horror movie and Bastian Warbler for company.

Sebastian and I had a long conversation in the hallway that evening. Sitting side by side as he held my hand and I desperately tried to explain how everything started. Why it progressed. Emotional intimacy is a tricky thing and being around both of them, sharing myself in some way with both of them, it has become as easy as breathing.

Eventually we move our conversation to his dorm room but for the first time in a long time all we do is sleep, a quiet dreamless sleep, curled up in his arms as he tries to hold me close. Almost like he is memorizing the feeling of me in his arms, as if I'm no longer going to be there again.

When my phone alarm goes off in the morning he isn't desperately clinging to me, of course he doesn't want me to go but he knows that I have to.  He allows me to slip out of his arms with a simple kiss on the forehead, watching as I ready myself for my dance lesson.  Before I leave his room he sweeps me up in his arms, tight hug and kisses in my hair.  Stepping back he hands me the bracelet I dropped the night before, watching as I slip it into my purse.  Whispers of I love you so much Pretty Girl.

I love you too Bastian...

And then I am out the door, promises of calling later in my wake.

Hunter is patiently waiting beside my car in the parking lot, dance bag on his shoulder. His green eyes searching my own, I only saw him in passing after he left me last night. Nodding silently my way as I sat in the hallway speaking with Sebastian. I'm assuming he had something to do with Seb showing up in the first place.

Dance is different this particular morning. We go through our usual warmups, the instructor leaving us alone in the private dance room to go over everything ourselves. We were scheduled to try and work on some lifts today, trust key in something like that. But honestly we spend most of the allotted time siting on the studio floor discussing everything from the night before. He is pleasantly surprised by my revelation that I'm willing to see where this thing we have will lead. That I am basically going to be dating the both of them for the forcible future.

But the ultimate question comes up as we are standing in the parking lot afterwards. Hunter is holding my hand, his other one is brushing the hair that has fallen out of my bun off my face. "So Angel.... Since we're giving this a go now, here is the big question. What about Tuesday?"  I bite my lip, this is the hard part.  Softly I breathe out the question Valentine's Day?  He nods as he traces his fingers down the side of my face.  "Yes Anderson, Valentine's Day.  Will I get to see you??"

I sigh, mulling over my answer. Slowly I begin, "I'd like that..." His face lights up instantly as he interrupts me, "Really?!" I place my free hand on his chest to stop him, "Woah, slow down there Romeo. I was going to say, I'd like that BUT I'm not sure if that is a good idea. This situation is all so very new, and I would feel bad choosing one of you over the other for a holiday like this."  He nods, although he does look somewhat disappointed.  "Guess I should have expected that type of response."

I laugh as I pull my hand out of his, turning to unlock my car door.  He takes my bag off my shoulder and places is in the back seat, shutting the door again as I turn back around. I lean against my car, giving him a tiny smile.  "Well Clarington, it's your fault.  You had Bas come out into the hallway last night to talk to me.  You could have just let it go, but no, you had to be the good guy and give him a chance to fight you for me.  So you'll have to learn how to share.  And be nice to each other."

He laughs and shakes his head, "Damn that military school for teaching me to play fair.  But I'd never give up my chance unless you wanted me to.  So no for Valentine's Day, what about Wednesday then?  Maybe a little dinner date at the diner?"  I smile as I push off my car and open the door again.  "Maybe.  Call me, okay?"  He nods, presses a small kiss to my lips and holds my door open as I slip into the drivers seat.  "Of course.  I'll be in touch Angel."

That's it.

I drive away.

Traffic is relatively light on the way back to Aunt Pam's, especially this time of day on a Sunday.  Blaine's car is in the driveway when I return home.  I find him laying across his bed, lights off, shades drawn shut.  Clearly he's nursing a hangover, lord knows he should be for all he had to drink at that party.  I tap softly on his doorframe to let him know that I am home.  His head barely lifts off the bed as he croaks out a response to me.  "Belle, why must you be so loud?"

I giggle softly as I perch on the very edge of his bed, running my fingers through his curls. "I'm sorry Blainey-bear. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" He raises his head slightly, squinting to see me better. "Aspirin. Lots of aspirin. Oh and can you make me some tea?  That good peppermint kind you buy... I legitimately feel like I'm dying. And I barely remember anything. Everything is a blank after singing with Rachel. I think we played spin the bottle. Did we?"

Wow....

He doesn't really remember much. I bite my lip, I'm not sure I should tell him about the whole Sebastian/Hunter situation. So all I do is shrug slightly, continuing to rake my fingers gently through his curls, rubbing his temples. He closes his eyes and relaxes into my touch.  "Sadly. Seb and Kurt had to kiss. And you, my dear diamond in the rough, you spun first."

He winces at the thought. "Kurt must be traumatized. Who did I end up kissing?"  I shake my head at the memory, "Me.  After I gave you strict guidelines to save us both from a really awkward, possibly illegal situation."  His mouth falls open, "Wow....  Must have been some party."  I stand up from the bed, trying to keep myself calm and push away the anxiety that I'm still dealing with from everything.  Softly I whisper back, "You have no idea....  I'm going to shower.  But I'll get your medicine and tea once I'm through.  Will you be okay until then?"  He nods weakly, waving his hand at me. And I hurry out of the room.

The rest of my day I'm focusing on catching up on school work.  I'm finishing up another chapters worth of anatomy notes when my phone rings.

'Bubbly'

It's Sebastian.

I leave my school work on my desk and settle on my bed, Bastian Warbler tucked securely beside me.  Deep breath and I swipe to answer the phone.

Me: Sebby?
Seb:  Hi Princess.  Do you realize how much I miss you?
Me:  I miss you too Sebastian.... You must hate me.... If I were you, I would hate me.  All my friends are going to hate me....
Seb: Sshhhh.... Shann, please don't.  Honestly, I was afraid of all of this the second we came home from Pittsburgh. When you noticed him watching us from the window and you blushed.  But I just love you so much.  I don't care, because I still feel, deep in my heart, that in the end it will be you and me.  Be it now or ten years from now.  I'd wait a lifetime for you...
Me: *crying softly* Sebastian, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.
Seb: Love, it's okay. I promise.... I wasn't calling to rehash all of this. I wanted to bounce an idea off you.
Me: Such as?
Seb: Well.... I'm assuming due to recent developments that Valentine's Day is off.
Me: Yea.... About that.... I didn't think it would be fair to either of you to choose. So I was planning on just pampering myself that night. Takeout, horror movie and Bastian Warbler.
Seb: See I knew he was a good investment. But I figured as much. I still want to make things special for you though. For us. So I was thinking, there is this cute little bistro here in Westerville. Amazing food. And on Friday nights they do poetry readings. I thought it could be, you know, romantic for us. No pressure though. I know we agreed to slow things down.
Me:  *sighing* Bas, I think that is a perfect idea.
Seb:  Great!!  Well, enjoy the rest of your evening Shann.  I'll be thinking about you.
Me:  Sebby...
Seb:  Yes Pretty Girl?
Me:  Please remember, none of this means I love you any less.
Seb:  I know Shannon.  I love you.  I always will.
Me:  I love you too Sebastian.  We'll talk again soon.

He hums out a response and we end the call.  A part of me feels better after that.  But part of me just feels horrible.  I feel like such a terrible person...

Monday at school is interesting.  It's Blaine's birthday, 18.  So thankfully most of the focus is on him.  No one mentions anything about that fateful game of spin the bottle, so maybe Hunter was correct in assuming that they were all completely trashed.  Puck is giving me knowing looks though but so far he hasn't said anything.  I make it through Monday unscathed.

But Tuesday.

Tuesday is the true test.

Valentine's Day.

This is bound to be painful.

After I shower and blow dry my hair I settle on an outfit I feel sums up my feelings right now.

This sweater paired with black leggings and my black ankle boots. Dark black eyeliner and nude lips.

I wish I could just stay home today.

Sighing, I look over my jewelry options.  I'm still wearing my golden Warbler necklace and diamond ring.  Our birthstone ring is in its box on top of my dresser, placed neatly beside Seb's ID bracelet and my bracelet from Hunter.  Instead I slip my Christmas present from Gabe on to my wrist, because if one thing in my life is consistent it is dance.

I grab my messenger bag and purse off my desk chair. Lastly I grab my phone before I head out the door. The screen is predictably lit up with messages.

Two messages.

One from each boy...

MyWarbler: Princess, letting you know I love you and will miss you this Valentine's Day. Although I can't be with you today I will be thinking of you constantly. Pretty Girl, I'd wait forever for you. I promise.... 💙 💋Bas

HC🔥: Happy First Valentine's Day Angel!! 😍😇 I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I know all of this can't be easy on you so I will do my best to make sure you are completely happy with your decision. Thank you so much for taking a chance on us....

I shake my head, unable to stop the smile on my face after reading these. I quickly send off a reply to both before I head to the Lima Bean for my morning coffee.

To MyWarbler: I love you too Bastian. And I miss you so very much. Thank you for giving me time. I want to be with you too.... I look forward to our date on Friday. My sweet, talented, handsome Warbler. 💋

To HC🔥: You're overly excitable this morning Clarington. Adorably so. Happy Valentine's Day to you as well Hunt. And I'll let you in on a little secret, I hate the way it all happened but I'm kind of glad it did.... 😉

The school day gets off to a slow start. Classes are kind of dull because everyone is just chatting about their plans for the day. The gifts they are getting or giving each other. Special things their significant others have done. I'm noticeably mum on the whole topic but as far as they are all concerned I have this wonderful steady boyfriend. Most people probably assume I'm just too busy with schoolwork for small talk. I mean I am taking a full course load of honors classes.

So...

It isn't until lunch when I am toying with my salad that anyone really asks about my plans. And like most things lately, it's Brittney who does so.

"So Sanny and I are going to Breadstix. What are you and Sebby doing today, Shanny??"

Her question catches me off guard. I sip some of my water as I formulate a response. "We're not doing anything today." The girls seated around me gasp at that. Rachel's eyes are wide when she asks what they are all thinking. "Why? Did something happen??" I shake my head slightly, they obviously don't remember the game. Mine and Hunter's kiss. The 'confrontation' he had with Sebastian while I sat in the hallway.

"No, no. We've just been so busy. And going out on Valentine's Day is so terribly cliche. But we're going to this little bistro on Friday. He said they have a poetry reading going on then. But he did message me today."

The girls all start gushing over how sweet he is. Mercedes chirps in, "Who would have ever guessed that Sebastian Smythe would be so romantic. Those Warblers are something else. I need to find one. What about that dance partner of yours? Hunter. Is he single? He seemed pretty cute."

I laugh to myself.

If they only knew.

"No, sorry girls. I think he's seeing someone."