As a kid Raiyan was a fan of family meals. He liked when the family sat together, he liked how they laughed together, he also liked the meal his mother cooked. Everything in that scene was liked by him. It was his favourite gathering. But growing up things changed. The members reduced, the food changed and the atmosphere vanished. There was nothing that he liked about meals anymore, especially the ones he had with his family.  

"This is really good. It is different," Raiyan said and he took a bite of his chicken. His mother smiled before softly pushing the blow towards him.

"I saw a new recipe on Youtube. I thought it was a little odd but I was bored of our regular chicken. So, I tried it. Glad it turned out fine. I was worried it was bland so I added some spices and it worked like wonder. "

Raiyan smiled at his mother then changed the focus to his food and was engrossed in it, while his mother observed him forgetting about the food. Her spoon danced on the plate slowly but never lifted their feet. Her eyes were only on Raiyan as if nothing else existed. She raised her eyebrows when Raiyan's plate got lighter. She had been trying to find a way to speak ever since they started the meal but her hesitation could not allow her to be. She unintentional avoided the topic but if there was an opportunity it was now, she told herself. Keeping her spoon down, she adjusted herself in her chair. She was ready to speak. 

"Raiyan are you doing this because you hold resentment?"

"For whom?" Raiyan looked up as he said. 

"Your father?"

"My father? Why am I holding resentment against him? What are you talking about?"

"This case. Are you doing this because you are hurt? Do you hold resentment?"

"It would have still made sense if you had said brother. But why will I do this if I have resentment against my father? How is this going to harm or upset him? He is not here."

"He is not. But when you were young your father and brother were always a team. They did everything together. Sports, food, shopping. There was nothing they did without each other. I know your father always thought of him first and not you when he was up to something but he wasn't avoiding you. It was just that their interest matched. They both liked similar things and they both had similar thoughts. That is why they were a team not because they did not want you around. He tried doing all those things with you. But you were never interested in those things. They did not neglect you, nor did they dislike you. It was just that they clicked but you didn't."

"How shallow do you think I am?" Raiyan had a frown on his forehead and he tried his best to hide his hurt heart but failed. "You think that is why I am doing this? You think I am taking revenge? Is that really what you think?"

"No. I just feel that it is normal or natural for you or anyone who has been through this to have a thought like that. Nothing more."

"I am sorry to disappoint you but this is not an act of revenge." Raiyan stood up from his chair and left the room. He walked straight to his room and locked it. Closing his eyes he tried to calm his mind but that only aggravated his anger. He splashed some water on his face but his mind could find no rest. Following that, He did not leave his room for two hours. When he came to the living room later that afternoon, his mother was ready to leave. They got in the car but drove in silence. Raiyan could not remove his eyes from the road, nor that frown from his face.

"Are you upset? I did not mean to accuse you. I was just trying to think why. I cannot find a reason."

"How can you not find a reason? You think what she is doing is right?"

"What she or what they did, I am not talking about that. I am talking about you. You are not someone to go ahead and file a case against someone. Not your brother's widow a least. That is not you. And there is no other reason. We haven't been to that house in years. We didn't even have ownership of it for years. Then why? I cannot understand why."

"Amma why are you always like this? Why do you always submit yourself? Dad would move us to different places and houses. I know you never liked it but you never said anything to him. You did not like it when your brother made you attend all those sessions but you went with him. You hated when your sister took that job from you and you hated when Ibaad got into that college but again you remained quiet. Why do you always stay quiet? Why do you always submit yourself to things that bother you?"

"It is easier to submit yourself." She said after a few moments of silence. "Fighting and arguing were not going to help. It was not going to stop them. They would have done it nevertheless.  Standing against them would have only causes issues and no good outcome, then why would I do that?"

"They would have listened to you if you had made them. They took you for granted because you allowed them. At least one of them would have not made you do what you did not like."

"And what would have I gained from it? It might have ruined my relationships with them. What good can that be off?"

"You would have gained peace at least. Not doing what you do not want to do gives you peace. It would have not been easy to stand but at least you would have saved yourself from things you do not like."

"Those were not that big issues. Why should I get engaged in them?"

"Ma, you got sick because we moved to extreme climates and very often. You had panic attacks because of your brother. How can you say those were small things?"

"Because they were. Life is life. Things happen. You cannot sit and cry over them. You just need to find a way to survive and keep moving."

"You cannot cry. I agree but you can save yourself. Not from something very harmful but from a few moments of discomfort, stress and anxiety. That mother is worth it. Ma, if we keep allowing people to do whatever they want, they will keep taking advantage of us. They are never going to stop, they will never get tired because they think it is fine and who made them think that? the act of submission." 

Nothing more was said following that. Raiyan tried to control his anger and his mother tried to justify herself. They both were busy in their own minds. Soon Raiyan dropped her off at his aunt's house and drove away. He drove a little fast but made sure to be in control. He drove aimlessly for half an hour before he started to think of a resting place. It took him another half an hour and then ten more minutes to realise he cannot decide and then five more minutes before he spontaneously decided to stop by a park. Within two minutes he had parked his car and was walking slowly to a bench.  

He rested his back and then sighed. He looked up at the sky and saw birds returning home. The sun was soft making him feel at ease. The surrounding though noisy was calming. He took a deep breath and looked up again. 

"Why would someone sigh and then take a deep breath in less than a minutes?" Raiyan looked down and frowned upon seeing Sufyaan walking towards him. 

"Oh My God, was Amal right? Why are we always together? How did you know I was here?"

"Why would I know you are here? I am here and you came here too. I came with the kids." He motioned to his left and Raiyan saw them all. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"No. But I am fine. Just vexed a little."

"Okay. Sit and calm your mind. That will be helpful."

"That is the plan. But your plan looks fun. All the kids and you. You are lucky."

"I got three teenagers and four kids running around and I am the only adult here. You think it's fun? Wait and see." 

"It still is good. You enjoy with them. They make you happy. Even if it is difficult it is worth it."

"It is hard to disagree to that. They are great, although it was better back when they could not talk and would need my help to move. That was the golden period." Sufyaan laughed making Raiyan smile. "You are right. I look at all of them and feel very blessed. Very."

"You are blessed. If I had them in my life I would have been very happy. They make me wish I was close to my niece and nephew too. But that makes me angry at my brother because he never introduced them to me."

"I can understand. Take your time with your anger. Might take long but you will be fine."

"I think I will forever be angry at him. Until my last breath."

"Time and life make us realise we hold nothing until our last breath. You should wish you do not hold anything until your last breath." Sufyaan paused for some time for Raiyan to think but before he could process every word grumpy Amal walked to them. "What happened? Did you fight with Keyaan or someone else?"

"The kids. I do not want to play with them. I am tired." She sat between them. "When will we go home?"

"We just got here. Why don't your sit here for a while? You will feel better too. Oh, what happened about that episode. Which one of you won?"

"I did not see it," Raiyan said with a shake of his head. 

"And Amal is quiet which means she lost."

"No spoilers!" Raiyan said looking at Amal who did not move. He frowned wondering how to lift her spirit. "Who are you closest to?" He said after a while. "Keyaan. No Manal."

"She is my best friend. I am closest to her. But I am close to Iiman too. She is my cousin and younger than me. Keyaan is my brother so I do not like him. And the three monkeys are young and can be annoying. But they like me so I like them." Raiyan chuckled making Sufyaan chuckle too. "We are all close I would say. We meet often and play together. Closest I am to Manal."

"She is the peacekeeper. She makes sure no one is fighting and if they end up fighting she makes sure they resolve it soon. She is often the one who solves the issues between the twins," Sufyaan said, "Her Afzal genes are very weak. Luckily she is just like her mother. Sadly Fadi is becoming more and more like Afzal. Poor kid." 

"He is the fun one," Amal said looking at her uncle then turning to Raiyan she said, "He is really funny. It is always fun to be around him."

"That I cannot deny," Sufyaan said as he stood up from the bench. "I need to take my father to the hospital for his checkup and my substitute is here so I will leave. Play with the kids for a while and then leave. It will make you feel better. Sorry I have to go. I will call you later." He looked up and smiled. "Thank you Hajar. The kids just got here so they will play for a while. Then take them home, snacks are waiting for them. I will be back in two hours mostly but it can take a while so please handle." Hajar nodded her head and gave him a smile. He said his goodbye to the kids and was soon on the wheels. Hajar waited for him to leave before she walked to the youngest group. 

Manal smiled and greeted Haajar on her way and then came to her friend. She smiled and greeted Raiyan before looking at Amal. "Why are you sitting here? They resolved it. We can play now. Let it go. We cannot always play what we want to. It will be fun, come with me."

"I do not want to. Keyaan always goes against me. I was convincing Iiman. She always listens to me. It would have not been an issue but Keyaan had to come and fight me. He always does that."

"Iiman is younger than us which is why Keyaan takes her side. As people older than her we should do that. We will play your game too. We will not leave without it. come with me."

"You know Amal," Raiyan caught their attention. "As Manal said he took her side because she is young. It is always good to be kind. Yes, your game matters too but it does not matter which game your play first. You play a game, that matters. It does not matter which one goes first. And Keyaan took someone else's side. It does not mean Keyaan gives someone more importance than you. He cannot love anyone more than you. You are his sister, the first friend he had."

"But Keyaan always does that. He is always going against me."

"Keyaan is just kind," Manal defended her friend, "You know he is very considerate. Even for her. But siblings always fight."

"That is siblings, " Raiyan said, "It is okay. Why don't you go and play now? play as many games as you want. If your Hajar khala wants to go home then I will stay with you all, so do not be upset and play." 

"Can I sit for some time and then go?"

"Of course." 

Manal sat next to Amal and linked her arms around her. They started to whisper to each other and Amal soon smiled. Raiyan smiled at their bond before looking up. Haajar was holding Adnan's hand, Daniyal and Faadi were explaining something to her. Iiman was running towards Haajar when she slipped and fell down.  Keyaan quickly ran to her and helped her stand. Haajar was soon next to her, checking her knees and hands. She was then surrounded by all the kids. Iiman had her arms wrapped around her and Adnan now was standing with Keyaan while Faadi and Daniyal continued talking. Without realisation, he smiled but he could not escape the eyes of the teenagers around him. 

"Adnan is cute, right? He is the most good looking kid in our group," Amal said. 

Manal laughed at her friend before looking at Raiyan. "Do you know Hajar khala? Are you two friends?"

"I cannot say we are friends. I am her client." 

"Client as in?" She wrinkled her nose. "You have a case which she fights?"

"In a nutshell." he nodded his head. 

"Do you two talk a lot?"

"Not a lot but okay-ish."

"Then you two are friends. Good!" She smiled sheepishly making Raiyan frown. Shaking his head he smiled at her before turning his face only to find Hajar walking towards them. 

"Amal come on go and play with Iiman. She is feeling really bad. She will play your game. Go patch up with her. Be a good girl, come on." 

Manal extended her hand and Amal took it. They both stood up and started to walk towards the others. Hajar smiled at them before accidentally her eyes met Raiyan's. She smiled to greet him who smiled wider. "Hi!" He was quick to exclaim. Hajar smiled again before saying, "Hello." And that made Raiyan smile, again.