Dedicated to cosmogyral-delirium for helping me with the descriptions!

"Just like you
I fear to breathe 
when I lose
the ground beneath
this is wrong
I feel the force
I wish I was
without remorse" -"Alive" - Voicians

<...two clicks east...>

Ember's eyes snapped open in surprise.

When the usual sight of the prison yard did not present itself she felt momentary panic and her hands gripped Red's arms. Red reacted by tightening his arms around her to steady her. She stiffened as she sat forward and zeroed in on the signal, ignoring Red presence entirely, which was difficult as he literally surrounded her. She focused so much that Red's voice calling her didn't register.

<...Two clicks east of the prison there's a vesper ship, hope to rewire? Reply?>

<Got it.> She replied. <Making a move soon.> She sat back, feeling relief and sinking back into the warmth of Red's chest forgetting that she was uncomfortable around him. She kept scanning hoping for more but there didn't seem to be anything else with it.

And she'd completely forgotten Red was with her.

"Ember." His voice cut into her momentary jubilation and she almost jumped out of his protective circle. His chest shifted and she knew that he was glancing down at the courtyards. "You found it?"

"Yes." She could barely contain her excitement."I sent back that we were making our move soon."

"You did what?"

He didn't have a plan yet, she realized.

"Well if you don't have a plan it's the best we've got." Ember turned towards his voice. She hated not being able to see him and that she was going to have to trust him more. Even without her eyes, she had other senses that she should have been able to use, but without enough power, she was going to have to depend on him for everything.

He was silent.

"They are watching us." He finally said shifting his body. She heard him groan and realized he was probably stiff from being up here all day with her. He had shifted around her to make her comfortable, but that didn't mean he had been.

Again, she remembered her dream and her face grew warm. She turned away from the sound of his voice.

"Who is?" 

"Everyone down there, specifically, Karik, and his gang of horse shits."

"Horse shits? What's a horse?" 

"Some Terran creature, may or may not have existed. It's just an expression. You know like... horsepower..."

"Horsepower is archaic--"

"Only for space travel," he argued.

"None of which is relevant," she shot back. "There is Vesper ship nearby..."

"How far?"

"Two clicks East."

He inhaled. "I wish you could see the look on my face right now because I told--"

"Just shut up and let's get down there." Ember paused as he loosened his grip on her. "Dag seems to think you are the one who comes up with plans." She finally said. "So what is it?"

###############################

Red didn't respond right away. They'd never gotten this far before. Which admittedly wasn't much, but the pieces were falling into place. Pieces of a puzzle he hadn't known were there. He just had to figure out a way to put them to. And what had Dag said about him anyway? He'd been a good tactician... Once upon a time it had been his job.

But even contacting someone out there...

That was further than he'd gotten on his own. But the window was closing fast the weaker that Ember got. 

His mind was already rolling through with various scenarios.

He stared at the large doors again from where they sat. Unfortunately, the doors only lead in not out...

He looked at her, the way her face had shifted towards his voice, her eyes were sightless but fixed on his mouth. Her jaws worked for a moment and then she spoke. His gaze followed her jawline as it moved.

"Tell them what I am," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the voices of everyone else in the prison. 

"What?" Red wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly.

"Tell them, what I am...it would...start things... moving..."

"No." This time his arms did tighten around her again, surprising them both. "That's a death sentence Ember." 

"I know what it is." She turned around to look at him directly in the face or tried to. She twisted in his embrace, nearly toppling them both to the next step below. Red grabbed her arms with both of his steadying her as she turned around to face him. Her hand reached out and touched his chest where she left it because she couldn't *see* him in any other way. 

"Tell them what I am," she repeated. "They will open the gates to take me out. To make sure I'm dead, or...."

"That's not—" But his mind was already moving through the possibility. "--a good idea."

"If they don't, the inmates will. Anything is better than waiting." Her voice wavered a bit, again she tried giving him a look that didn't quite reach his eyes because she was focused on his mouth, where his voice was coming from. 

A glance downwards to the outer yard revealed Karik lounging against the door, watching them. Something truly dark inside Red woke and clawed at his ribcage in its haste to escape. It wanted out. Protect her, it hissed. Protect Ember. It's not too late. Do what you should've done years ago... Oh, what he wouldn't give now to slice that infuriating look right off Karik's face -- to rip his still-beating heart from his chest and crush it to pulp between his fingers -- to rend him limb from limb, take his sweet time enjoying the unspeakable, then leave him in some nameless grave, no one ever to know that he was anybody important. The thing inside Red's chest purred at the thought. Dag was right: Karik was on borrowed time.

Red's fist clenched when he remembered the other day when he'd come upon him assaulting Ember. It was a good thing that Karik had not known what she was looking at, he was just the kind of bastard to put her in the ground without thinking of the consequences.

She might be their only way out.

Ember's sightless eyes were focused on his chin, "You are already considering it," she pointed out. The thing in him wanted to cup her face with his hands and hold her to him. That was confusing. But what was worse was she was right.

He hated the fact that she was right.

"I don't like it." He almost reached a hand to her chin but dropped it, not sure that such a gesture would be welcome.

"You don't have to like it," She pulled away from him out of his grasp pushing herself wearily to her feet, while still holding onto him for support. "Let's go tell Dag at least. We'll have to move fast."

"There has to be another way."

"If you have another idea, I'm all ears. But until then...this is what we've got. I know they'll come for me... And if that doesn't work, if I'm not dead...then I'll tell them something else that will definitely make it happen."

He stared up at her. "Tell me something. You don't know us, me, Dag, T, Alt... You are sacrificing yourself...for a long-shot chance of getting us out of here... Why?"

He reached out and put a gentle hand on her arm, letting his finger slide down before pulling it away again. His fingers tingled at the slightest contact. He tried to ignore that.

She looked away from him for a moment. "Seems like a good way to die."

He snorted, "Liar."

"It really is better than laying in my cell waiting for the end to come."

He hesitated again and then stood slowly so as not to knock her over. Then he lifted her in a single motion into his arms to carry her back down.

She inhaled sharply startled and clutched his neck the motion giving her a moment of vertigo. She couldn't see what was happening, only knowing that she was at the top and had to depend on Red entirely to know where she was going. Red rather liked the feeling of having her clutch at him around his neck.

He pushed that feeling away sharply. She was from Neo-Tokyo. She was helping them. She was part of the problem.

No, another voice in his mind whispered. She's part of the solution.

"Just promise me one thing." She whispered against his chest.

"Name it." He'd already decided to go along with her plan. He felt an immense amount of guilt but at the same time, she was right. She was the key, and she'd fallen literally into his lap. He could act on what she was giving him or watch her die slowly. Again, that thing inside clawed at him. Protect her! It demanded. I can't, he responded...

Coward. Monster.

He was going to do worse, he was going to be the one to put her in danger.

"Hear me out first."

"Ok."

"If you have to leave me behind for any reason, kill me first... Make sure I'm dead."

"I'm not—" Red stopped on the metal steps frozen at her words. He hadn't expected that kind of request.

He had thought it wouldn't matter if she didn't make it. It shouldn't have mattered to him. But even dead he wasn't prepared to leave her, he realized. That was the thing struggling against his own interest. He gave a shit, he cared. When the hell did that happen?

"I'm going to spend the next week slowly wasting away, frozen, unable to move," she whispered. "I kind of want to avoid that part if I can."

He just stood there staring at the courtyard where Dag was waiting below looking concerned. The rage he'd felt earlier had dissipated. He didn't want to do this, not now. Oh god, not this...

"OK." His voice sounded hollow, even to him. He cradled her for a moment before continuing down. She felt absolutely frail now, precious even. No matter what he promised, he didn't want to allow that to happen. It was unthinkable.

"Don't worry, I'll take your secret to my grave." She muttered as he started walking again, each step towards the bottom drawing closer to Dag.

"My secret?" Red had slowed his walk enough to draw their time alone together out for as long as possible. "What secret is that?"

"You really aren't an asshole," she whispered leaning into his chest. "I promise not to tell anyone."

He looked down at her and he could see her smiling. Red felt the knot in his chest only tighten. Each step bringing them closer to Dag, closer to him having to tell Dag Ember's idea, closer to them actually having to do it...

"You get it?" Dag whispered when they reached the bottom. Red only nodded as his jaw tightened, he found himself utterly speechless not trusting his own voice for a moment.

"Not here." He got out, looking around.

Karik was still around eyeing them, a scowl written across his features. There were others, but Red didn't bother with who they were. It was Karik's face he focused on. His bruised face carried the lust for revenge. He was not the type to let what had happened go. They'd embarrassed him, not letting him have what he wanted. He was not the kind of man who took that lightly. He had to be back on top, in control, show his underlings he was not to be trifled with by anyone.

Red hadn't really understood what Dag was talking about before, but now he did; that urge to utterly destroy the person who had dared hurt someone he cared about. To make sure Karik never had the power to hurt Ember again. He felt guilty but it wasn't guilt over his dark thoughts, but guilt that he'd never acted on them sooner.

"Our cell?" Dag asked.

"Yeah." Red nodded breaking out of his own dark mindset for a bit.

Since it wasn't uncommon for prisoners to swap or even share cells, no one thought anything of Ember going to their cell. No one checked on them. No one cared enough.

At night the temperature drop was below freezing. Not a good time to be out of doors. The place had its own natural barriers to keeping them trapped here.

Getting two clicks east shouldn't be an issue if they got out. Going off-world would be the difficult part.

They made the walk in silence. When Dag offered to take Ember Red clutched her tighter against his chest. Ember had remained silent, with her eyes closed, one arm tight around his neck, the other curled against her chest. He didn't mind her head tucked against his shoulder at all.

Dag didn't ask him again.

Red wanted to take their time, to plan. But he knew Ember was right. Acting quickly was probably their best choice. They could make it or die trying. At least she was going the distance for the "die trying" part. He hated that.

"So?" Dag crossed his arms watching as Red carefully sat Ember on his lower bunk.

"Two clicks east from here," Red said and watched as Dag's face lit up.

Dag turned to Ember. "What's wrong?"

"She's blind," Red answered quickly. Dag's face fell.

"I'm right here, you know," Ember leaned forward, facing the direction she heard Dag's voice come from. "Where are we?"

"In our cell..." Red answered as he sat next to her putting his blanket around her shoulders.

"Red, I'm not a baby--"

"Sorry..."

"Red, seriously." 

She sounded exhausted, Red stared at her. To him, she looked hollowed out. Dark circles, sunken in cheeks. All that hardware was never meant to be separated from a vessel... Never meant to choose another life.

"You've gone downhill faster than I thought..." Dag interjected, giving them both an exasperated glare.

Red shrugged before turning back to his bunk and fluffing up the squarish pillow he had so she could lay on it. He closed his eyes taking his time responding to any questions Dag was throwing at him.

"She shut almost everything down to get the signal."

"Ah," Dag pulled himself down to squat next to Red's bunk. "So, what's our move from here? I assume you two came up with a plan?"

Red glared at him and then sighed looking away, his shoulders slumped with resignation.

"We'll need T and Alt for that part."

"What for?"

Red shook his head. When he turned back around again, the plan took shape in his mind, rooting before he could stop it. He could do this, and he would get Ember out. A malicious grin spreading across his face as he shared his plan with Dag.

"Tomorrow, let's start a riot."

###############################

They'd stolen some mattresses from T and Alt's cell. The two boys were sleeping in the other corner on the floor. Their snoring was hardly anything compared to Dag's.

Red had his own mattress borrowed from a deceased prisoner. He'd shaken it out several times before taking it. The man had died in a fight not lasting very long in Helion 7 at all.

He'd laid it next to the lower bunk after insisting Ember sleep in his bed. It was after midnight now and everyone else was asleep. He stared up at the ceiling.

He and Dag had fought earlier. Dag hadn't liked the plan and he'd been angry at Red for coming up with it. Ember had intervened at that point, telling him it was hers, that he, Red, would not have come up with something as brilliant as that.

The look of relief on Dag's face mirrored what he'd felt on the inside.

He'd been willing to take the blame for the plan. Mostly out of his own guilt in the first place. That Dag had thought he would sacrifice Ember to save their own skins bothered him. He had to remind himself of the conversation they'd had. He'd already told Dag he didn't care if she made it or not.

"Humans are capable of change, Captain. Look how far you've come."

"No, we aren't Lars," he whispered into the darkness. "You were wrong about that."

"Who is Lars?"

Ember's voiced pierced into his thoughts and he was too startled to respond. His gaze shifted from the ceiling towards her small shadowy head in the darkness, peering over the size of his bunk at him.

In the silence, Dag's and the boys' snores could be heard.

"Sorry..." He whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you..."

"Like I could sleep," she whispered back, an arm hanging over the side of the bed. "So who is Lars anyway?"

"He's..." Red turned back to the ceiling putting an arm under his head as he stared up at it. "...an old friend."

She kept her gaze towards him. "And? Where did you know him from?" Her words were quiet, although he doubted anyone else was going to hear them over the snoring.

"What's with the inquisition?" He snapped, suspicious. They both froze listening in the darkness but no one else moved.

"I'm sorry," she whispered finally. "I'm just curious... Too tired to sleep, I'll leave you alone."

Guilt flooded through him. That was the last thing he wanted her to do.

"He was... my second in command, on the Aphelion." The words poured out before he could stop them. He heard her sharp intake as she digested that information.

"Oh... Oh... You were... That would... how? How did you get in here?" Her harsh whisper had grown louder and she paused, listening.

"He was a good friend, great leader, best Second I'd ever worked with. The crew loved him."

"You put those in a particular order, you two were close then?"

"I guess," he turned away to stare at the wall.

"Why isn't he here?"

He turned back to look at her again. "He died." The words were met with silence. "He was an AI." The need to tell her the whole story was too great and he turned over and sat up drawing his knees up to rest his arms on them. He scooted back until he was against the wall, but next to her. He could barely see her outline.

"He was the first AI to make that rank, and I was the youngest Captain---"

"I remember reading about you... and him." Her voice was hesitant.

He ignored that and continued. "He wasn't trusted at first and he worked hard to overcome that. You know, a lot of AI weren't, especially when they are autonomous. He thought a lifetime of service would help with that..."

"And it didn't?"

"Are you forgetting the Purge?"

"How could I?" She was silent for a moment as she turned to stare up at her bed. He had to resist the urge to put a comforting hand on her arm, not really sure how such a gesture would be taken. "How did he die?"

"Curious?"

"I'm probably going to be dead after tomorrow," she replied softly. "Humor me."

"Hey, you don't get to play the 'I'll be dead soon' for sympathy."

That got a snort from her. "Why not? It's not like I'm going to blab your deepest darkest secret."

"What that I'm not an ass? No, can't let that get out." They subsided for a moment. "He was killed by Neo-Tokyo."

"You mean the Purge?"

"I mean they personally came to get us... And he was hit with an EMP. We both were, I couldn't stop them..."

The words came pouring out faster and faster. He twined his own hands together in agitation before running them through his hair. "I couldn't stop them, the one time I should have acted logically, the way he'd been training me, I dropped the ball. I stepped in front of the EMP instead of at it. I've gone over it a dozen times in my head. So many ways I could have stopped what happened. And what's worse? He warned me, he told me it didn't feel right. Get it? An AI that has feelings? I followed orders, blindly... Told him I'd figure it out. I've figured it out, haven't I? Just 8 years too late."

"Hey, you didn't know, he didn't know..."

"He was just following his gut instinct... Ironic considering he literally never had one...and your damn--" He was babbling. He took a deep breath. It was a miracle that no one else was stirring.

On the bunk, Ember had withdrawn a hand she had started to pull toward him. Her expression was visibly troubled. He hated that he'd caused it...

"It's my problem...not yours." He looked away again. The need to talk about everything with someone was strong, he couldn't help it. But it probably shouldn't be the girl from Neo-Tokyo.

She swung her legs over the bunk and felt around the floor. Her feet were ghostly white in the dark.

"Where are you?" She whispered feeling around on the floor.

"I'm here, but it's fine. Get back into bed."

Instead, she dragged herself over although when she touched him her hand flew back as if she'd been burned. "No..."

He inhaled, not sure of what she was doing, her proximity was doing things to him, he didn't want to admit to. He reached over hooking a hand under both arms and pulled her up to the wall next to him. He released her and watched as she adjusted her back to the same wall.

"Your friend died in the Purge? I'm sorry."

"You didn't need to get out of bed to tell me that."

"How did you get away?"

"You really aren't going to sleep, are you?"

"No... and again, the odds are I'll be dead tomorrow..."

He sighed. "I had two of my Lieutenants with me. They helped me getaway."

"They were loyal..."

He nodded, "And they were killed for it. I watched their shuttle explode to bits."

She reached out and touched his arm. "I'm sorry Red...what were you like? Before all of this?" She waved a hand around in front of her, her sightless eyes remained fixated at his mouth were she could hear it.

"I had a life," he replied. "I had a career, top of my field... I... I used to see the Vespers out in deep space. They called them, well you, the dolphins of space."

Ember smiled, noticing the hint of envy in his tone. "We weren't allowed to fraternize with the lower classes."

"Is that all we are to you?"

"To most Neo-Tokyans? Yes," she answered honestly. She looked up, and he openly stared at her, glad she couldn't see him, where his gaze wandered. "It's not a big secret..."

"Hardly," he muttered.

She yawned covering her mouth. Even in the little light given by Helion 7's 2 moons, she was looking haggard.

"You should get some sleep."

"I know...but this is way more interesting."

He rolled his eyes. The truth was he was enjoying her company and not in a hurry. He found the conversation both bothered and fascinated him. He wanted to hear her speak about home and learn about her, but at the same time, the subject matter made him angry.

"Tell me about the Aphelion," she said instead. "I've heard it was the best run Leviathan they had."

He sighed staring up at the ceiling. "It's huge, fits 500 crew plus families... It had the youngest Captain..."

"And that was you?"

"Yes, some asshole running it, and it also had the only AI second in command on any ship... Maybe the first..."

"You were very proud of that?"

"AI are being just like us..."

Ember sighed, "We're taught they are made, second class...to any human because they are put together..."

"Their consciousness becomes self-aware in a different way..." He turned to her, but she couldn't see his face. "They have something called "an awakening." Lars had described it once, or he'd tried to. Red remembered Lars trying to put into words an experience he'd had before he'd learn to communicate.

He tried describing it for her, her head drooped forward and after a bit of time, he realized... She had fallen asleep with her head leaning against his shoulder. She needed the sleep, so he sat there unmoving, unwilling to change the position. Once again, he couldn't admit to himself that he was enjoying the contact.

He fell asleep like that, his eyes snapping awake a few hours later. Ember had shifted to laying down next to him, an arm curled around his pillow, her back to his leg. He leaned forward to see if she was still breathing, pulled her hair out of her face.

No one else was awake so he shifted away from her, walked over to their shared toilet and sink.

He stared at the mirror catching a glimpse of himself. His hair was askew and he looked absolutely haggard. He turned on the water and splashed water on himself only to find that he was staring at the razor, the same one he'd looked at yesterday...

He felt the same feelings well up inside. His eyes bored holes into the instrument of his demise. He reached over and picked it up running it along his chin until his face was completely shaved. Rinsing it, he found he couldn't let go of it completely. His hand trembled.

His attention was caught by the sound of Ember stirring. The razor went straight into his pocket. He could save that for later... Especially if things didn't go their way.