As i sped into the car park i was getting stared at and the whispers have started."what the fuck are you staring at." I asked everyone bored. Many people started turning away and walking off. "Yo Thea, you look...different." Callum called out to me. "Hey, whats sup hun." I asked him smirking and hugging him. "Note really." He said back still smiling."what you doing later then?" He then asked me. "Note other then maybe watching films. What about you?" I asked him. "Were going to the beach, want to come?" He asked smirking."sure thing." I replied. "What the fuck Thea, you was so post to come school with me!" Shouted a fuming Ryder."so shut the fuck up Ryder." I shouted back walkimg away. "Must be his time of month." I whispered to callum. Him giggling back.
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"And who is this?" Asked joshua, the same repulsing lad from my first day. Its now dinner, im sat at the dinner table with all my new friends and oh Ryder. Oh the joy. So i was sat taking when Joshua came over and asked the table that which i replied with, "Your worst nightmare, now fuck off." I scowled at him. "Go to hell." He replied walking off. "I did but even the devil spat me back out." I said laughing. My friends joined in. Ryan and Thaila was talking happily. "Sam did you tell thaila what happened?" I asked concerned."no, i dont want to hurt her." She replied back gingerly."okaii but i dont know about it, if she finds out okaii." I said back sternly."okaii"

Luke was sat next to me."so about me calling you hot the other day, im sorry, it was not right for me to say that." He whispered to me."oh so it was you, i thought it was ryan. I was confused but its fine honestly." I replied back. "Good" he said taking one of sams chips."hey there mine buy your own." She said back with a slight smirk. "Hey thea arnt you hungry?" Ryder asked me."no i ate before i met yous, i dont like eating in front of people." I lied back to him. A look crossed his face for a split second, it looked like guit but then it was soon washed away with a blank expression. "Okaii" he said back coldly. "Im going for a fag, ill be back in a minute." I told everyone. "Ill come with you." Ryder said."no its fine i will, i need to talk to her anyways." Luke then cut in saving me."thanks" i muttered before we got up to leave.

As i sparked a fag up, i offered luke one. To which he declined. "What did you want to talk to me about." I asked him. "Nothing really, just saw there was tension between you guys." He replied. "Yeah, we have a cold past but thats behind us." I lied again. "How comes you dont like eating in front of people?" He now asked me. "Id rather not talk about it." I replied back in almost a whisper. "Its okaii, you dont have to but can i ask one question and id like you to answer." He said back softly. "Yeah." I muttered. "Do you still love him." Luke whispered to me. "No" i mutted back.

I lied to him, of course i still love him. No matter what, even if i fall in love again with someone new, it will never be the same as i love him. I push my sleeve's up because im starting to get warm. I wish i didnt do that though because now my pink and purple scars are on show. Reviling them selves. They are the ugly reminder of how much of a fail i am, they show me that i was never perfect, i was never the prettiest. They show that i was the worthless and stupid but most of all it showed me that i was strong enough and with help from friends i pulled through.

"Thea can i ask you a few more questions, please answer them. I wont tell anyone. In return i will tell you anything." He now asked me looking at me with concern and nervousness. "Okaii, dont tell anyone, what i tell you." I said in a stern voice. I dont know why but i feel like iv known him my own life. I feel so close to him like i can trust him.

"Do you trust me?" Luke asked me. "Even though i met you yesterday, i feel like i can. I can issues trusting people but you, you give me a feeling that i can." I answered truthfully. "Okaii good, have you ever noticed the most saddest people have the most beautifulest smile?" He now asked me. "I dont know to be honest." I said looking down.

I have now finished my fag and was ready to leave. As i was walking away he grabbed my wrist lightly and spun me around. "Im not finished yet, was it hard?" He asked gingerly. "Letting go of him." He finished. I nodded. "But not as hard as holding onto something that wasn't real." I replied with a slight smile. My eyes are stinging and im struggling to hold back tears. I blink them away before he notices. "How are you" he now asks me. "Huh" is all that came out my mouth. "Oh fine." I then replied getting what he meant. I gave him a reassuring smile."look into my eyes." He said while looking into my eyes softly."then why do your eyes say different."

For the first time, in a while i was speechless. How did he know how i felt? God i must be bad at lying. I was fine again untill he showed up. Him. He broke my heart. The pieces was just put back together and he shattered them again. All my cuts and wounds that was healed suddenly felt like they had just been ripped open.

"How did you know." I asked tears brimming my eyes. "Just because someone looks happy doesn't mean they are because even a white rose has a black shadow. " he said hugging me tightly. "Promise me something." He whispered in a soft voice. "Whats that." I asked timidly."promise me you wont harm your self anymore and when you need to talk to somebody talk to me, don't keep everything in." He said so soft i barely caught it."i promise."

Hiyah guys, sorry i havent uploaded in a while, been busy with my other books. This chapter is quiet upsetting, i want to show everyone that not every person is showing you how they feel. I also want to show that Thea isnt the bad girl she puts on, that she too isnt the happy person that everyone thinks she is. It was quiet upsetting writing this but i hope you enjoyed it. Remember to vote and comment what you think and feel.