You could feel the tightness in your chest as your anxiety arose. He was doing the exact opposite of what you expected him to do.

Why was he so invested? As if you were worth his time or energy, you simply couldn’t understand.

Before you could make sense of the situation and even begin to think what to do, your doorbell rang and you felt like you were going to be sick.

⚠️Running into the bathroom, you leaned over the toilet and held onto the seat. Your eyes shut tight as you kept swallowing your bitter saliva.

You overate anyway, the dark thought crossed your mind and that was enough to stop resisting the usual, side-effect of your severe anxiety.

Your eyes were filled with tears from the strain of throwing up and your face puffy as you washed it and rinsed your mouth to then brush your teeth.⚠️

The doorbell rang once more and you were now shaking. Maybe if you ignored it he’d go away. Assume you were out or didn’t want to see him as he should have from your lack of response throughout the week.

Walking over to the window in your bedroom that faced the street, you sneakily peeked down and saw Jimin pacing nervously. Whatever, he’ll leave soon enough, he has to, you reassured yourself.

You laid down on the bed and curled up in a ball, overwhelmed by everything. You had mixed feelings about this, you felt bad for leaving him out there, but he knew too much, there was no way you could let him get closer. It had gone too far.

At some point, without realizing it, you fell asleep and took a short nap. The bell hadn’t rang again after the second time and you felt relieved he was gone. When you woke up about fifty minutes later, you decided you’d take a bath to try to relax and wash the sweat off your body.

As you walked past your window to get a new outfit to change into, you caught a glimpse of something and peeked out once again.

Jimin’s car was still parked in front of the building, an expensive car that clearly didn’t belong in this average class neighborhood.

You shook your hands nervously, eyes wide open as your heart threatened to break through your chest. He was attracting too much attention out there.

What the hell was he doing here still? It was impossible to wrap your head around why exactly he wasn’t done and over you.

What if someone called the police because of his strange behavior? What if he came across one of your neighbors and told them the reason why he’s here? You couldn’t have that, more people couldn’t know about your private life.

Before you lost your nerve, you took a quick shower just to clean your body and put on some basic make-up. It was a much more simple look than your go-to, but you had no time for anything else.

You took your phone and opened the chat. If you went down to the ground floor yourself, you might change your mind and turn back around. With trembling fingers you typed in your message and took deep breaths trying to calm down before tapping the send button.

Come up, I left the door unlocked.

Jimin’s phone suddenly beeped in his hand and he was startled awake. He was laying back on the seat of his car, waiting for you, hoping you were just out and not home passed out. His eyes must have closed at some point as he stared out the tinted window.

His eyebrows furrowed when he checked the notification that indicated it was a message on KakaoTalk. So you were home? You were okay? He felt hurt, but tried to brush it off as he got out of the car and walked up to the main door.

You had released the lock on it so he could push it open and walk across the lobby to get to your apartment. Jimin stared at his feet as the elevator took him to your floor. Why had you done this?

He was worried when you didn’t answer his call halfway through the week and then you stopped seeing his messages.

He had made it clear that a simple yes or no answer was acceptable, but you didn’t even care to send that to ease his nerves.

Getting off, he walked down the hallway to your unit and found the door ajar. He knocked on it softly just so you'd know he was here.

"Noona?" he called you as he removed his mask and hat, putting them away in his bag.

"Here, Jimin-ah" he heard a low hoarse voice while he took off his coat, he scanned the room to find where that had come from.

Your apartment was nice, but unlike your appearance, very simple and somewhat disorganized. There was an open kitchen and living room in one and a door to the left that probably led to a more private area of your home.

He saw you waving your arm from the couch, only the back of your head was visible from where he stood. After hanging his coat on the hook, he warily walked to it.

Jimin looked down at you with an expression you couldn't quite decipher. Eyebrows furrowed, lips pressed in a line. Was he angry? Upset? Disappointed? Disgusted?

You felt so small and defeated under his gaze. Turning your eyes down ashamed, you stared at your lap not knowing what to say.

He quietly sat next to you on the couch and hugged you from the side. It caught you off-guard, but you had no energy to return it. He just held you tightly for a few seconds.

"I'm glad you are okay. I was worried something had happened to you" he muttered. Was that only worry in his eyes? You were still trying to find an explanation.

"I'm fine, Jimin-ah. There was no need for you to come" you said softly looking away once more.

"There was, you didn't answer my call and you weren't getting my messages. I couldn't just sit back and relax, noona" he replied miffed that you talked so nonchalantly.

"Ugh, well, maybe I didn't want to" you blurted out and he was the one to look down this time, that hurt.

"Why wouldn't you tell me? Why did you just ignore me then?" Jimin asked softly making eye contact with you once more with sad eyes. It broke your heart that you were doing this to him.

"You don't understand, Jimin-ah...I-" you started, but couldn't get the words out easily. Talking feelings was not your thing, you hated being vulnerable. Your hard exterior kept you safe.

He held your hand on your lap and squeezed it gently. The gesture made your heart skip a beat. Despite any frustration or pain he might be feeling because of you, he was acting like this.

"This is embarrassing, I was embarrassed. I am right now!" you said motioning at yourself as you let go of his hand and stood up exasperated.

"It's alright, noona. I'm here for you, I'm not here to judge" Jimin said sweetly with a small smile. His calming demeanor was having the opposite effect, driving you crazy. Why was he like this?

You looked at him in disbelief, you were not entirely sure how you had let him see you like this. Wearing loungewear and minimal make-up.

"What? You're cute if you want me to be the judge" he commented with a little shameless chuckle and you just turned the other way and blushed.

You were not fishing for compliments, you didn't know how to take this. You sighed before turning back to him.

"Have you heard of the concept of spattention?"

"Spa...what?" Jimin blinked in confusion.

"I needed space, Jimin-ah. Space and attention, I'm a very difficult person" you were not sure why you were telling him this. His messages had been comforting, but you didn't want him near you.

He pressed his lips together stifling a laugh and nodding, but not really comprehending what you were trying to say. It was just adorable though, the whole serious explanation of some made up word.

"Sounds complicated. I like challenging myself though" he answered cheekily and could no longer hold his laugh. You just wanted to vanish from existence.

You let yourself fall back sitting on the other end of the couch and covered your burning face shamefully.

After some rustling from what you assumed was his scooting over, his fingers brushed your wrists gently as he took them and brought your hands down.

"Noona, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'll stop joking. You do look cute as you are though, I meant that" he was completely serious now and you were about to combust with embarrassment.

Jimin did believe you looked lovely with a more natural look. Your usual one was more sensual and professional, but he liked the idea of being in a more laid-back setting with you.

"Anyway…" you said, nervously pushing his hands away and getting up on your feet again as if looking for something. A reason to interrupt this, that was it.

"Do you want to hang out? I'm free" he asked, smiling hopefully.

-

edit: someone pointed out spattention is an actual word, not made up as I thought. I'm dead 😂