Link turns his head to look at me with his eyes wide open. "What?"

"Before you freak out, I want you to know that I am not trying to break up with you. I actually want to avoid that at all costs."

"Break up with me?" He squeaks, brows creased in shock.

"I said don't freak out," I try to calm him. "All I'm saying is that if we don't fix the leaks, our relation-ship is going to sink. But there's still hope, we just have to act now."

"Huh? Who's boat is sinking?"

"It's a metaphor."

"I don't get it, I thought everything's fine. Why are we sinking?"

"You don't really think that our relationship is healthy, do you? I don't think it's supposed to be this hard."

"You're talking as if we're still hiding our relationship. Everything's good! You're happy, are you not?"

"I'm very happy," I nod.

"Then what's the issue?"

Am I the crazy one? "Do you think we're doing okay?"

"Where's this suddenly coming from?" He asks confused, not answering my question.

"I'm not sure. I'm just thinking about us... And our relationship."

He sits up and rubs his neck as he looks down on me. "Does this... does this have anything to do with Ruto?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I actually like her. She seems nice. And I don't have a problem with you guys being friends, I promise. I'm sorry if I seemed bothered by it."

"You didn't."

"Good. I really don't want to act childish when it comes to you and other girls."

"Then what made you think about our relationship?"

"I'm just... wondering what I can do better."

He groans and relaxes his shoulders. "This again?"

"Hear me out..."

"You're a good girlfriend, stop worrying about that."

If only he knew about Karusa...

"Do you really think our relationship is hard?"

"I think we could do better sometimes."

"Well yeah, no relationship is perfect," he says.

"Do you think our relationship is healthy?" I ask again.

"Yeah? I think so?"

I don't like the lack of confidence in his voice but then again, I'm not really confident in it either. "Is there something you don't like about our relationship?"

"I don't like how you think you're not good enough. Or how you think sex is all I want from you."

"I don't think that."

"But you act like that sometimes. Like I will leave you if you don't give me everything the stereotypical man desires. I don't lust after you, I like you because you're caring and selfless. And I don't like when you think I'm like that. I won't leave you for taking it slow or anything."

"I know you won't leave me," I say. "And to be honest, that confuses me a little."

"Why does that confuse you?"

Because Mother left. Because Father left. Because everybody who says they love me leaves me sooner or later. Because no matter how hard I try, I am never able to please anyone!

But that's just my experience... And it's not fair to assume that about Link when he hasn't given me any reason to believe that. I should have more faith in us.

"Never mind," I say under my breath. "I'm really sorry that I kept saying that in the past. I don't think that anymore. I believe you when you say you want to be with me, and whenever my insecurities try to convince me that we are not fit for each other, I will just ignore them. I want to make this work and I will try my best to be a better girlfriend. Someone you can trust and rely on. Some you can have fun with. I want to support you no matter what."

"And that's exactly why I think we are fit for each other," Link says.

I give him a smile even though it's probably too dark for him to see it.

"I want to do better than the past," I say. "I want to leave my insecurities behind for good. And I want to truly focus on our relationship. I know I've said this in the past, and maybe my words have lost all meaning, but this time I mean it and I truly believe it will change from now on. I know it. I don't ever want any secrets or lies to come between us ever again."

For a moment, Link doesn't say anything. I can sense there is something he is thinking about, perhaps something he wants to tell me? A secret possibly? I can feel myself getting nervous and my paranoia is knocking on my brain, offering me all kinds of secrets Link may have.

I'm over it. I don't want to feel paranoid anymore, so I simply force myself to stop thinking. From now on, I don't want to be insecure, paranoid, prejudiced, or jealous anymore. In other words, I don't want to be my father anymore.

Before I start overthinking why Link has become so quiet all of a sudden, I wish him a good night and kiss him on the cheek.

He doesn't lay back down though, and despite it worrying me slightly, I continue to not think about it. Stay out of my head, Paranoia!

"I do have secrets," Link says.

I stay calm. This is the new and improved me. I won't overreact. "Like anniversary gifts and cute surprises? Those don't really count as secrets."

A quiet sigh falls from his lips. It almost sounds as if he's surrendering. "I haven't been honest about Ruto."

I sit up in a failed attempt to control my thoughts.

"What do you mean?" I ask. My voice is calm, masking the growing anxiety. I am so determined to act mature that I don't show any reaction to his words.

"I mean, stuff happened between Ruto and I that I haven't told you about..."

"Like... in the past?"

"Yeah..." he swallows. "But also recently."

Okay, okay. No need to panic. Maybe she still loves him and asked him out and he rejected her. That's possible, right?

"Like what?" I ask worried.

"She wanted to get married." My voice disappeared and my heart is trying to squeeze into my throat. "This was back in high school."

There is nothing I have to say in response. Part of me just wants to say "Okay" and go back to bed. Maybe it's better if I don't know any more than that. But it seems to me as if Link needs to talk about it. Or as if there is more I need to know.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I felt like there was no point in bringing up the past. But if you really don't want any secrets then I think you should know about her. And about the kind of person I was back then. I was a shitty boyfriend and I wasn't necessarily loyal to her."

"Okay," I nod. I will just accept this and move on. That's what I am planning to do.

"You don't have to tell me," I say.

"I do though..."

"Why?" I shake my head and clench my fists. "Why is it suddenly important for me to know about your past? I accept you and want to focus on our future, not our past."

"It's important because... I want to open up to you... I want to be able to be myself with you and I hate how I've been silent for so many years. I feel more comfortable with you than with anyone else and I want to be able to talk about anything with you. Don't you want that too?"

"You can tell me anything," I nod. "But I just want to let you know that... you don't have to. There are some things that are better left unsaid."

"I want to tell you," he says. "I want to be fully open with you."

"Okay then... Tell me what you must."

"Ruto and I were seeing each other on and off during high school," Link explains. "She wanted to be more serious but I didn't. We never really talked about what we are exactly and then when she tried to sleep with me, I told her I didn't want to but I didn't give her a reason why I didn't want to. I was okay with dating her but I wasn't okay with sleeping with someone I don't love. When Ruto got more attached, I thought about ending it but I couldn't. And I guess she thought marriage would bring us closer. In more than one way..."

"Why couldn't you break up with her if you didn't love her?"

"I don't know... Maybe I was scared of hurting her feelings. I cared about her as a friend and I had bigger worries than that. I was focused on athletics and didn't really worry much about the relationship. I kinda kept it in the background and just let it play out. Maybe I thought having her in my life was kinda nice? I know I should have ended it sooner."

"So... I don't know how to ask this but... How far... If–if you didn't sleep with her, is there anything else... you know? Anything else you did with her?"

"Do you really want to know how far we went?" Link asks, his tone flat. "I can tell you but I don't think that's really important."

I think this over for a moment, then shake my head. "Perhaps not." I don't know if I could handle it. I'm already trying so hard to stay calm and knowing me, I'd probably get hurt knowing about all the things they did together.

"It doesn't matter anyways," he says. "Everything is different when you do it with someone you love." He looks at me. "Trust me."

I will just have to take his word on that, given that I have no experiences with anyone other than Link.

"Then what happened? Did she propose with a ring?" I ask him.

"Not directly. It was more of a passive aggressive suggestion. She said we should get married after we graduate. I didn't want to though and when Hyrule University offered me a scholarship, I saw it as an easy way out... A good reason to leave. Not just her but Japan."

I wish I could show him some kind of reaction but my voice is hiding at the rear end of my throat, and every time I speak, it burns like somebody dumped pepper down my throat. So I decide to just listen to what he has to say.

"Zelda," he begins. "I was a coward and I was so hurt back then. I hated everything about my life and I considered quitting sports back then but instead of facing my problems, I ran away from them... And I never talked to anyone about this stuff. I just left. I'd like to think I've gotten better at communicating over the past year, but sometimes it's still hard for me to talk about personal or emotional stuff. That's something I really want to work on."

"So that's why you're telling me all of this now?" I ask and he gives me an embarrassed nod. "I know it can be challenging to open up and be honest about your feelings but I hope that you know that you can talk to me about anything."

I'm glad that I was able to find the right words just now. I think it's important to reassure Link, especially at a time like this. Words have always been rather easy for me, especially in the academic setting. When it comes to emotional moments, it's not so much the words I struggle with but the courage of speaking up in the first place. Tonight, however, is not about me. It's about Link. And I want to make sure that he knows that there is nothing he can't talk to me about. Even if it's about his ex. Or his career.

"Instead of ending it like I should have, I just accepted the scholarship without even telling Ruto. She found out through other people and even though she was mad that I didn't tell her, she wanted to talk about it and make it work. She was trying to forgive me but I tried my best not to let her. I guess I wanted her to be mad and hurt so that she could be the one to walk away first..."

Link lets out a sigh and I can tell it's hard for him to discuss this.

"I fucking hated myself," he chokes and tenses his muscles. "And I still do sometimes."

I place my hand on his and brush my thumb over his scarred knuckles. I don't want to say anything or interrupt him. I think he needs to let it out and I'll just be here, by his side, to comfort and support him.

"I ghosted her and moved to America and she was angry and heartbroken. I didn't see or talk to her until we ran into her at the festival. So I was really surprised when she greeted me with a smile and asked to hang out. I want you to know that the reason why I wanted to meet her at the bar was not because I had any feelings for her, but because all these years I felt shitty about the way I ended things. I feel like I let a lot of people down. Like Japan, Hyrule, and Ruto. I realized that even though I can't go back in time and make Japan win the World Cup, or erase all the news about me beating up Karusa on Hyrule's campus, I can at least apologize to Ruto for treating her so bad. I thought if I can talk to her and apologize for my behavior, I will feel less guilty. But I was wrong and I still feel like shit."

"Wait," my eyebrows crease as I try to sort all these thoughts in my head. "When did you talk to her?"

"Um... I talked to her after we got back from the bar."

"In private?"

"Yes..."

"When? I don't remember you leaving."

"You were already asleep when it happened."

"You left me?"

"I'm sorry..."

"When did you talk? Where did you go?"

"Well at first she came to my room," he says and I quickly bite my tongue to avoid interrupting him, "but when I tried to apologize for our past, she stormed out and said it wasn't enough. I followed her down the road–"

"You left the house with her? At night?" I ask in shock. I remind myself to stay calm and let him finish his story. "Sorry, please continue."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I want to hear what you have to say."

"Well... I don't really know what happened exactly. She got emotional and angry and I could see all the hurt from the past years. And then I got emotional too and we started talking about our past and our future..."

"Your future? As in you and her?"

My stomach twists into tight knots and I am taken back to Christmas Eve when Mipha came to me and said "We kissed." If Link is about to say those words to me, I don't know if I can survive the heartache. This time there is no Revali next door to comfort me. There's nobody. I'm thousands of miles away from home and it's the middle of the night on a deserted mountain. If his secret is an affair, I... I don't even know what I will do then.

Link rubs his head and takes a deep, unsteady beath. "She told me she still cares about me... And that she would have forgiven me if I hadn't moved on with you so quickly. She saw your engagement ring and thought I gave it to you and that hurt her a lot."

"Oh..." My fingers move to my ring and spin it around my finger until I find the reflection of the moonlight in the small diamond. I wish Urbusa was here right now so I could talk to her about all of this. She always knows just the right thing to say. She's been the closest thing to a mother and I miss her so much right now.

"I'm sorry I kept that from you. I didn't know how you'd react," Link says.

I can relate to that. That's why I haven't told him about Karusa... I'm not sure if he'd be able ot forgiveme or if he'd go on a mission to behead the guy. But Link not telling me is my own fault. The way I have behaved in the past has given him the impression that he can't talk to me. Because every time he did, I freaked out and yelled at him. That thought makes me sad and ashamed. We are supposed to be a team and work together. Not against each other...

"I'm sorry that you feel like you can't talk to me," I say in sorrow.

"Maybe our relationship isn't super healthy," he concludes, his head pointing down now.

"Do you want to work on it with me?" I ask, pulling his eyes to me.

"Yes, I really want to work on it. I won't ever leave you like that."

"Good," I give him the faintest smile. "Did anything else happen between you two that I should know about?"

Thankfully, he doesn't take too long to think about his answer because I probably would have gone a little more insane with each passing second.

"We hugged for a while. But–but I promise it was more so because we were both upset and we comforted each other. And then I walked her to the train station. When we said goodbye, she said she forgives me for what happened and that she will not dwell on the past. But somehow I still feel like the biggest asshole."

As much as I'd love to suppress all my thoughts right now, I can't shake the feeling that one reason why Link is still dating me despite all my flaws is to make up for leaving Ruto. As if our relationship could prove that he can be a good boyfriend after all. But I won't say my thoughts out loud because the goddesses know, whenever I jump to conclusion, I'm wrong. And I really do want to do better and be a more mature partner.

Link may not be a perfect boyfriend in his eyes, but I am just as far from being a good girlfriend in mine. As long as we both want to do better, and want to give the other a chance, I think we're going to make it work together.

"I know it's hard to forgive yourself," I say. "Or to believe that others could forgive you, but I've made my own fair share of experience and I can tell you that it is possible, and necessary. My father and I were able to move past years of neglect, lies, and disobedience, and find a way to love and care for each other like family should. Forgiveness is a powerful force that liberates and heals. It is a choice to release resentment and embrace growth. Forgiving does not erase the pain, but it frees us from its grip, allowing us to move forward with empathy and compassion. It is a gift we give ourselves, creating space for love and joy to flourish. In forgiveness, we find the strength to rise above, break free, and discover the boundless potential of our hearts. I can tell your heart has been in chains for years and I am here to tell you that you're the only one who has the power to lift those chains. It's time for you to forgive yourself."

Link's hand now covers mine and holds it tightly in his palm. "You're the best thing that has happened to me," Link says softly. "I'm sorry for keeping all that from you. I'm glad I could talk to you and that you're not mad."

I remain silent for a moment, staring into the darkness as thoughts race through my head.

"Or... Are you mad?" Link asks me shily. I can feel his eyes on me and the tension in the air. "Zelda?"

"I texted Karusa..."