Link and I have been sitting by the pool for five silent minutes. He left some space between us on the patio sofa. It hurts but I understand why he chose to sit further apart.

The only sound present is the unironic chirping of crickets. I should probably say something. I've come up with a million ways to start this conversation but each one dissolves halfway through the first sentence. And now that I've decided to just say anything at all to break this awful silence, words won't come out. This is going to be hard...

"Thanks for staying..." I mutter and bring my knees up to my chest.

Link just nods, his eyes held captive by the ripples in the water. He looks more than guilt-ridden. I wish I could reverse time. But what would I do differently?

"You said you remember the night at the lodge when you made me promise to tell you if you ever made me uncomfortable. Do you remember why you made me promise that?"

"Someone did things without your consent..."

I nod. "Who?"

"I don't remember... Me?"

Why is he always so quick to blame himself? "No."

"Who was it?"

I take a deep breath and answer slowly. "Karusa."

Link's head snaps in my direction and he finally looks at me with a mixture of panic and rage burning in his rigid eyes. "Ganon's friend?"

"Yes..."

No wonder Link sounds so surprised. The baseball game is one of the very few memories he has yet to recover, so all the memories about Karusa revealing the true origin of my hickey are gone. Now Link has to find out all over again. This time will be different though. I will be the one telling him.

"When?" Link wants to know but looks away. "The day we kissed for the first time?"

I shake my head, already feeling my throat tightening. "We crossed paths a second time..."

A barely audible "shit" escapes through Link's breath. My heart is aching for him but I need to tell him this. It will help him understand my reaction to his kiss earlier.

"The day of the baseball game, Karusa said some things to you in hopes of mentally distracting you from the game... He made up a bunch of lies, claiming he did things to me... he took it too far and you hit him. I didn't hear the full conversation but you wouldn't have reacted that way if there wasn't some proof to his words... I'm pretty sure he told you about a hickey..."

Link's jaw tenses as he glares at his trembling hands. I take his hand into my gentle touch to stop the tremor, causing him to flinch. I thought he would pull away again but he is letting me hold his hand.

"I never told you what really happened between Karusa and me. If it's okay with you, I'd like to talk about it now."

Link tilts his head to look at me. His eyes hold every emotion I'm trying not to feel at this very moment. I can see his fears, his anger, his disgust, his guilt... He gives me a hesitant nod and interlocks our fingers.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise."

"No one," I stress.

"Okay," he says in all seriousness.

"You can't get in a fight over this. And you can't confront Karusa about it either."

"What? Why not?"

I remain silent for a moment. There are so many reasons to name, but I'm not sure if they will sound like good reasons once I say them out loud.

I don't want Link to get hurt again or get in more trouble with the law, but that's not a strong reason to him, he won't care about himself. He never does when anger blinds him. I also don't want Karusa to feel the satisfaction of getting under Link's skin again. I already confronted Karusa in a way and don't need Link to fight my battles. And the shame I feel when someone else imagines or talks about what happened to me is unbearable. But I think my number one reason is far weaker than any of those...

What Karusa did to me–some people who haven't experienced a similar situation might not understand how painful and scary it was when he grabbed me. They might think I'm overreacting because there surely are worse things that could have happened. They might even take Karusa's side. Or find a way to blame me.

I suppose I'm ultimately just embarrassed for getting hurt by something I could have stopped in the beginning...

"I just don't want that. It would make me sad. I hope that's a good enough reason," I say instead and add, "I want to tell you what happened to me but only if I can trust you won't bring it up to anyone else."

"Okay, I promise I won't talk to anyone about it other than you."

I nod thankfully. My pulse is hammering in my throat and I haven't even started yet.

"It happened during your last soccer game. When you played against the Boars. I wanted to support you even though you told me not to come... I completely ignored your warning... Because of that, I was scared you'd blame me for what happened..."

Now I'm the one minding eye contact. I know he is aching to say something but he is patiently keeping his lips sealed. His free hand moves on top of our interlocked hands. I'm so glad he didn't leave after I panicked earlier. It would have been easier to just walk out the door, but I don't think I could have recovered as quickly. I take a deep breath and exhale it with a slight quiver.

"Karusa spotted me and followed me into the tunnels of the stadium. I was alone..." Link's hands tighten around mine. "First he just wanted to talk. Then he grabbed me and told me to relax. I don't remember all the things he said to me but I can feel his hand pressing against my back just thinking about that moment. When I tried to push him away, he slammed me against the wall." My breaths quicken and my heart exhilarates. "He pressed himself against me and..." They are just words, why are my lips refusing to say them! "His mouth–he...he..." I don't think I can do this...

When Link moves the hair out of my face, my tear-stained cheeks are exposed. He tucks the strand of hair behind my ear and wipes my tears.

"You don't have to go through this alone," he says in a low voice.

I fall into his arms and bury my head in his chest. With a racing heart, I gasp for air and force the words to come out. "He had his lips pressed against my neck! I tried to fight it! I swear, I tried so hard! On the inside I was screaming, but I was numb on the outside! I could feel his breath on my skin! I was ashamed to call for help, but when I finally did, he covered my mouth! I was suffocating and panicked even more. I thought I was going to pass out and who knows what could have happened!"

I experienced similar feelings tonight but Link already feels bad about this whole thing so I'll keep that to myself. I consider stopping right here. Does he need to know more? If I tell him that Karusa's hands slipped under my sweatshirt, Link may refrain from doing so in the future or feel guilty when he does. I don't want that. It's bad enough that I think of Karusa whenever Link and I get more intimate, I don't want him to be plagued with those thoughts too. I don't want Karusa to affect our relationship ever again.

"I pulled him back by his hair when he tried to... to do other things. He got so angry. He said I'm overreacting. That I am just a prude. I don't know how close to the truth he was, but what I do know is that he was right when he said I should have told him to stop... I never said the word stop. And I suppose, tonight, I didn't say it either. It's just one word. Four stupid letters. But to me, nothing has ever been more difficult to say out loud."

Link's arms wrap around my back. He holds me without any intention of letting go. I didn't know I was still hurting so much until now.

"Karusa left a mark on my neck..." I finally reveal the final secret I've been keeping. "Father saw it and compared me to a slut. That's what ultimately compelled me to pack my things and leave. When you saw the hickey a day later and thought you were the one who gave it to me, I decided it would be best not to tell you what really happened. I had so many reasons to keep it to myself... But... maybe if I had told you... I... I'm so sorry."

I feel the weight falling off my shoulders but... The feeling of relief only lasts for a fleeting second... Immediately, all the emotions I tried to contain break free, tears stream down my face, and sudden pain puts sharp, suffocating pressure on my chest.

"I'm so sorry!" I weep, trying to find comfort in his arms.

"Why are you sorry?" He whimpers in a brittle voice.

"I should have listened to you!"

"Don't blame yourself, please." He pulls me closer. I cherish his embrace and hug him back with all the love I have.

"I should have told you sooner!"

"You didn't have to tell me at all. I'm glad you did though...."

"I'm so sorry!" I cry breathlessly. I feel as if somebody is choking me! "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, Link! I'm sorry! If I had just told you sooner, none of this would have happened! You'd be fine right now! You'd be fine! It's all my fault! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Zelda stop, it's okay!" Link strokes my back nervously. He's trying to calm me but I can't breathe and the urge to apologize takes control over my whole being.

"I can't breathe!" I cry panicked. "I can—can't breathe! I'm so—sorry! It's all my fault!"

I hate myself...

"I—I messed everything up!" I cry and clutch my heart. "It hurts! It hurts so bad!"

"What hurts? Zelda, you're scaring me!"

Link has never seen me suffer from a panic attack. Not like this... I can't believe he is the one who has to comfort me right now. It should be the other way around! He has bigger problems than me... I'm so selfish!

"I'm sorry, it's nothing," I sniffle and hold my breath in an attempt to stop the pain from showing.

"Hey, I'm not blaming you for any of this."

But I am! You could still be an athlete, you could be running around. Your memory could be unscathed if only I had told you sooner! If only I had told Karusa to stop! If only I didn't freeze in scary situations... "I'm so sorry, Link."

He breaks our hug and cups my drenched cheeks, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "What happened to me is not your fault!" He says in a fierce tone. I blink rapidly and cower beneath his intense stare. "Listen to me, Zelda, it's not your fault!"

"You're angry at me..."

"No, I... I'm not angry at you," he says, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"I want you to be angry at me."

"No, what? Why?"

"I deserve to be yelled at."

"Not true."

"Yell at me," I demand in a broken whimper.

"No."

"Just ten minutes ago you told me you're broken... It's my fault! I ruined your life! And now I'm ruining our relationship!"

"I love our relationship..." He presses a forceful kiss against my forehead. "I love it so much. Why would you say that?"

With burning eyes, I lower my head. "I don't like it when you kiss my neck. Even though I know you would never try to hurt me, it's still painful when you go there."

"I understand that now. I won't do it anymore."

"But....."

"What, Zelda?"

"Everyone else likes it... so many girls would enjoy that... and I think you really like it too. I don't want you to be... be bored with me."

"What? No, that's not going to happen! I promise, you don't have to worry about that. I like our relationship even without neck kisses."

"Neck kisses might not be the only thing I don't like though... I get nervous when it comes to intimacy. I've never had a boyfriend before and... well, I'm new to it, all of it, so I just don't really know what I like or dislike yet. So there might be other things I don't want to do..."

"Oh..." Link breaks eye contact for a second but returns with a soft gaze. "That's okay. I'm okay with that."

He's not breaking up with me? I rub my cheek and sniffle. "I want to get used to kisses on the neck, but it won't be easy for me... it may take some time."

"No rush... I just want you to feel comfortable around me."

"I already do."

"Clearly..."

"I've never felt more comfortable with anyone else," I promise him. "Tonight was an exception. I freaked out because I didn't know what was happening. I got paranoid. I know I can trust you. I still feel safe and comfortable around you. You are... so much more to me than you realize."

"I'm sorry about all of this..."

"Me too..."

"I never meant to hurt you. And I know you never meant to hurt me... I can't blame you for my injuries. I won't lie, it sucks what happened, but it wasn't your fault. Okay? I got into that fight on my own. I didn't have to hit him. And I don't know... I think even if you had told me about the hickey sooner, I still would have gotten into a fight. I'm pretty sure. Because if he was here right now, I'd hit that bastard."

"You promised not to get in a fight over this."

"I know. I'm just saying..."

I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. His body is still tense but after a few seconds of silence, his shoulders relax and a quiet sigh falls from his lips.

"I'm glad you made me stay. It's good we talked," he whispers against my hair.

"I would have thought about this all night if we hadn't talked..."

"Me too..."

Telling Link about Karusa wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. After what happened with Father, I was scared of Link's reaction. But they are not the same. Link has always been willing to listen. I just never had the courage to talk. Tonight, for the first time, I felt ready to open up.

Link's hand brushes over my hair while I listen to his heartbeat. After a few minutes of tranquility, I break the silence with something completely off-topic.

"Hey Link? May I ask you something? I know it's a bit random but when they took you to the hospital, I realized how many things I still don't know about you... Like... Your birthday."

"It's April 15."

"So soon?" I lift my head in shock.

"Like a week."

"A week is soon! Were you going to tell me?"

"Could've googled it."

"I'm not stalking my boyfriend online!"

"You had my name in your search bar a while ago. I saw it in English class." I can't believe he remembers that! So embarrassing! "Also, don't act so offended. You didn't tell me about your birthday either," he chuckles lightly.

"Because I don't celebrate my birthday!"

"Neither do I really."

"Mhm. Sure. I bet your fans aren't already prepared to drown you in flowers and fanmail."

"Maybe," he laughs. "I had a girl write a fanfiction for my birthday one time."

"A fanfiction?" I arch my brow, still deciding whether to be amused or weirded out.

"Yeah, it wasn't half bad though."

"You read it?" I gasp.

"I was curious," he defends in a squeaky voice.

"What was it about? Do I even want to know?"

"Remember how I told you my soccer team was called the Warriors? For the fanfiction, she turned my teammates into knights in medieval times. Warriors defending the kingdom."

"You would make a great knight," I admit.

"Yeah? Would you be the princess in danger?"

"That would be fitting," I laugh.

"Would I fight orcs and dragons for you?"

"No, but giant boars."

"Mhm. Ugly boars with bad aim. I'd be the cool hero who gives his life for the beautiful girl." He plants a kiss on my cheek right before stretching his arms over his head.

"So... Have you made any plans for your birthday yet?"

"Yeah, a fan invited me to hang out at her place. She said she's going to have a bunch of her girl friends over. I can ask her if you can come too."

I stare at him with my jaw wide open. After reviewing every possible response, I decide to go with, "That's a joke, right?"

"Duh. I don't have any plans yet."

I knew he was kidding but I still got jealous. I have to work on that. "Would you like to spend the day with me? I only have two classes on Friday so I could pick you up right after and we could go somewhere or do something fun."

"Sounds great."

I have to come up with a date idea. And a gift idea. Perhaps something sports-related for the gift, like a signed jersey or front row tickets to a game. But I don't know anything about sports... Revali might be able to help me brainstorm some ideas.

"What were your other questions?" Link asks.

"What?"

"You said there were multiple things you didn't know about me. Anything in particular?"

"As a matter of fact... There were a few. I was wondering what couples call each other in Japan."

"What do you mean?"

"An equivalent to...." I feel awkward using this word... "Babe," I say as casually as possible.

An instant smile appears on Link's face. "I'm not sure, I think I'll need another example."

"Shut up," I mutter.

"What was that?" He grins.

He's so smug. "What are some Japanese nicknames that roughly translate to something like... H--Honey. Or... Love."

In between his laughter, he gives me a Japanese phrase. Abashedly, I try to repeat what he just said.

"Anata wa saiko. Does it translate to babe?"

"No, but thanks for calling me awesome," he laughs.

"Oh har-har, aren't you a funny one," I swat his arm.

"I am funny, thank you very much," he sticks his tongue out and my stomach flutters.

He has been downhearted ever since we left campus earlier today. I'm assuming when the memory of his career returned, all the pressure and anxiety returned as well. That's why, despite his many laughs in the past few weeks, this one means so much more to me than those before. The way he is acting right now, so silly and carefree, may not appear any different from the way he behaved at the hospital, but he is different in every way. More genuine and real. More familiar.

"I don't think we have words like that in Japanese. I'd just call you Zelda-chan if we were in Japan."

"Well that's not very romantic."

"What a shame. Guess we'll have to settle for babe," he shrugs and smirks at me.

"Would you like that?" I ask shyly.

"Would I like what?" He smirks.

"If I called you that?"

"Called me what?"

I roll my eyes and tease him by changing the topic. This is nice. We are laughing and teasing each other again. Who thought the night could take such turns?

We spend the next hour sitting outside, trying to spot stars. Isn't it just mesmerizing how life works out sometimes?

I was never the popular girl. Despite being known by a lot of people, I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. It was always just Impa who stuck by my side throughout the highs and lows of my life. When I started my first semester of college last year I was excited because nobody cared how many friends I had or whom I sat with during lunch. Ironically, that was also the time I started to make a lot of friends.

Mipha was the first person I considered a friend, even though we hardly ever talked outside of class. Through her, I met Sidon, Fin, Armes, and Russ. I made a lot of different friends, I guess. Small friendships as well as some that grew to become something more. My friendship with Pik was a constant up and down but he never showed disloyalty when it came to us. He was always willing to be my pillar. Even when we fought, I always knew he still cared about me.

By moving into the frat house, I made even more friends. It couldn't have been avoided. Even Revali warmed up to me eventually. In his own way, he showed how much he cared. Kafei, Teli, and Anju warmed up to me much quicker. And now I consider them my family.

I'm not sure at which point Link became my friend. We had a rough start... I constantly put the blame on him and tried to convince myself that his presence would bring misfortune to my life. Even after we kissed for the first time, he still felt like a stranger at times. I couldn't read him. I didn't understand why he acted so cold at school, and yet I knew he cared in a way. I suppose the same goes for me. I always cared about him, even if I didn't always like him. But when he stood by my side when I thought I lost everything, that's when he became more.

I look at him now. He's looking up at the dark sky. He has changed since I met him. We both have. We've suffered a lot and made some pretty good memories along the way. Last year, I was so desperate for approval. I thought I had to carry the weight of the world. It took me too long to see that Link was going through the same. He helped me realize that I don't have to carry the weight alone.

He moves his hand to my leg and gives it a gentle squeeze. Flustered, I look away from his hand to find his eyes on me.

"Everyhting okay?" He asks with a soft smile. His cheeks are slightly red.

Link can get flustered too sometimes. But he never shied away from showing his affection. Early on, he invited me to travel with him. Even if he was joking a lot, I knew some truth was hidden behind his words. He never seemed to doubt that our futures were one and the same. I don't know if he ever put a lot of thought into it, I suppose I haven't either, but whenever he spoke of the future, it included me.

"Everything is okay," I reply with the same expression.

I used to think about the future with big gaps. Where will I be in 5 years, who will I be in 10 years, what will I be doing in 20. But the future can be much closer than that. It can be in a week, in a few hours even. I never really questioned whether we would still be together in the future, whether it be in 20 years or in a couple of days from now. I didn't have to ever think about it because Link always made it clear that he didn't see us apart. If I really had to think about the near future... I couldn't imagine it without him in it.

I think I now know what I will give him for his birthday. But I will have to be bold and borrow some of his courage. And I'll need Mipha's help.