20 February 2020

Score: Jealous - Nick Jonas

Lydia

OK...What.The.Fuck.

Out of all the ways I thought this night was going to turn out, this was definitely not one of them. Heck, this is nothing like what I thought this whole trip would turn out to be.

I thought maybe Patrick would have made a move on me already. I thought maybe we would spend some time together. I thought maybe he'd have kissed me. Or, even, maybe, I would have found out there was nothing going on between us, and would have been a bit disappointed, but would have got over it, eventually.

What I did not think was that I'd be kissing Mark Carter in a game of Truth or Dare, in front of all of our friends and a complete stranger.

So, once again: What. The. Fuck.

Oh, yeah, did I mention that was my first kiss? Mark Carter was my first kiss?

And, oh, my God! It felt so good! It felt like a million fireflies were set free inside my chest. I felt like my body reacted to him, like it was under a spell.

Like it knew what it was doing.

I barely register what's happening around me right now. I'm aware that truths are being told and dares are being made, but I can't concentrate on any of it right now. To my right, Alex stands up to her feet to do something that Nate dared her to do, but, for the life of me, I don't know what it is.

All I can think about is how soft Mark's lips felt against mine. How gentle, but at the same time, determined, he was.

And, how he definitely knew what he was doing. I haven't kissed anybody before, and I have nothing to compare this kiss to, but, oh, my God! It was amazing!

Now I know what the fuss is all about. Even though it was Mark, I could easily be doing this all night, and all day, and forever.

Mark. I feel a little in edge now. I hope things between us won't get too weird now that he kissed me. It was a stupid dare, after all, and I'm not even sure whether this moment meant anything to him. Does he know what a big deal this kiss was for me? Does he even care? I hope so. It definitely felt like he did.

The way he looked at me, the way his fingers gently brushed the skin on my forearm, soothing my nerves, the way his eyes were seeking my permission every step of the way...

He really made me feel like he cared.

And, the moment he pressed his lips to mine, I felt like the whole world came to a halt. Like it was all meant to happen, just like this. That, even though it was my first kiss and I was nervous, even though it was Mark, and not Patrick, and even though it was a stupid dare and everybody was watching, it was perfect.

My first kiss was perfect.

You're gonna thank me later, Gloria mouthed, as I was raising on my knees to do the dare. I don't want to admit it to her, but, my God, I definitely have to thank her afterwards.

I look up from my hands, folded in my lap, and my eyes meet Mark's. He's sitting across from me again, staring at me. His face is flushed, and he looks exactly like I feel right now. As if no amount of oxygen can ever soothe the fire, burning in his lungs. There is something dark and unfamiliar in his eyes. Like, he's a completely different person from the Mark I've known all my life.

Maybe I'm just imagining things. I'm still riding on the adrenaline from our kiss.

I peek my eyes away from his and the loss of eye contact feels almost painful. Like our gazes were drawn together by an invisible power and I am breaking some unspoken law of nature by moving my eyes away.

I slide a glance towards Patrick. His eyes are locked on Mark and he looks flustered. His face and neck are covered with blotches of pink and his jaw is so flexed, it looks painful.

Ha. Maybe Gloria was right, after all. He looks annoyed. Jealous, even. He's unaware of my stare on his face, as he transfers his weight from one hip to the other and sits a tiny bit closer to Mark.

This is getting interesting!

"Patrick, truth or dare?" Alex asks.

"Neither." Patrick replies curtly. "I'm bored." He forces a straight face and then he stretches in his place and pulls off the worst act of a yawn I've ever witnessed. "This was a stupid fucking idea. I might just go to bed now."

"What? No, it's way too early. Here, have a drink." Gloria pushes the bottle of whisky his way.

"I'm OK." Patrick says, pulling up to his feet. "I'm just tired, so I'm gonna head to the room. I'd like to try my bed, finally," he winks at Nate.

"Wait, wait, I have an idea." Mark says, straightening to his feet, as well. Patrick shoots him a glance I almost expect to have Mark pinned against the opposite wall, like a moth in a lepidopterists' collection. "Do you guys know how to play poker?"

"I don't," Nate shakes his head.

"Me neither," Alex says.

"No." Gloria moves to stand up.

"Of course," Marco opens his arms in an approving gesture.

"Yeah," Patrick nods shortly.

"OK, so, maybe, we can teach them?" Mark extends an arm towards Patrick. I get the sense he's doing this as some kind of an olive branch to Patrick. Like, he can feel, too, the sudden hostility emanating from Patrick.

I can't help but entertain the idea of those two fighting over me, fists and all. I try to imagine what Mark would look like with blood, dripping down his chin, and Patrick, doubled over, gripping his face, his nose broken.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've just had my first kiss and I'm suddenly imagining being everyone's love interest?

I find this strangely amusing and I laugh out loud.

"OK, that sounds like a lot more fun than fucking Truth or Dare," Patrick says, breaking me out of my trance.

The air in the room feels suddenly a lot lighter.

Mark pulls out the deck of cards we used last night to play drinking games and sits down on the floor again. He looks up at me and pats the floor next to him, inviting me to sit down next to him.

Okay.

I lower myself onto the ground at his left side. Patrick doesn't fail to notice and is quick to take a seat at my other side.

Maybe just a little fight?

Marco disappears somewhere for fifteen minutes, and, when he returns, he'a carrying a box of chips in his hands.

"They're my friend's. We play a lot of poker here. We're stuck all alone up here, working, for four months a year. We need some distractions." He explains, grinning, to Patrick and Mark's stunned stares.

Mark lifts a hand and high-fives him with a grin.

"Marco, man!"

The next half an hour is spent with Patrick and Mark explaining the rules of poker to Alex, Gloria, Nate and me. I feel a little overwhelmed with the info being dumped at me, but I find it very exciting that I'm sitting between the two of them, learning how to play poker.

Like, the fact I got blind drunk last night, and kissed someone tonight, unlocked a hidden bad girl inside of me.

Naughty Lydia.

"OK, the best way to learn is to actually play."Mark says and motions to Alex and Nate, who are the only ones still standing, to sit down. "We'll play a couple of rounds with everybody's cards up, so that you grasp the logic, and then we'll really play, OK?"

He turns his head and looks at me and his eyes linger a little too long on mine, before dropping to my lips. I can feel him tense next to me and his tongue darts out between his lips to lick them.

It all happens in a split second, but the air between us suddenly feels charged again.

Then, his eyes move away and it's all gone.

We play three rounds with our cards up, and I'm still trying to remember what the hands are called, when it is decided that we've learned enough and it's time for a real game.

"OK, now everybody keeps their cards to themselves," Mark says, shuffling the deck.

"Wait, aren't we gonna bet?" Gloria asks.

"Yes, let's bet," Marco nods his head.

"Well, it wouldn't be fair, really," Mark says, his skilled hands still shuffling, flipping the cards face up, then face down, and back again. "There are too many first timers tonight. It won't feel right to take your money."

"But it won't be that interesting, if we don't bet. A little risk always adds to the thrill," Gloria insists, leaning into Marco's shoulder.

"OK, OK, but, when I take your money, just remember you asked for it."

"So, let's say fifty quid max?" Patrick shrugs his shoulders.

It's weird how much more aware I am of Patrick's presence right now. Like, he's emitting a frequency that I can feel in my skin. It's giving me goosebumps. It crashes beneath my skin with my awareness of Mark's presence, which is just as tangible, if not even more.

"Fine, everyone put fifty quid in here," Mark says, emptying the box of chips on the floor and placing it in the middle of our circle.

Once we're all set, he hands us a small pile of chips each, and the game finally begins.

When the cards are dealt, I feel Patrick's hand on my knee, rubbing slightly. I look at his hand, then I look up at his face, confused.

"For luck," he explains. "I feel like I'm gonna need a little extra tonight. And you're gonna be my Lucky."

I just sit there, staring at him. My mouth's gone dry and I feel heat wash over me from my right. I just know that Mark's eyes are burning a hole in my head there.

Oh, my!