This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the How to train your dragon world, which is trademarked by DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. and originally written by Cressida Cowell, and I do not claim any ownership over them or make any money from them. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official storyline.  

"Come on Hiccup!" Fishlegs pleaded on a warm and sunny afternoon. The pair was walking through the city just to relax after a tiring work week.

"No Fish! Just NO!" Hiccup adamantly exclaimed. "I am not going through that again."

"It's just speed dating Hiccup." Fishlegs mumbled. "You need to get out more."

"Oh my Thor! You are sounding like my parents! Did you forget what happened the last three times that I went with you to one of those things?" He asked while shuddering.

"It........wasn't so bad." Fishlegs mumbled and took a step back at the glare that his friend sent his way.

"Fishlegs, the cops were called the first time. The insane asylum the second." Hiccup muttered. "Let's not forget the traumatized sheep and yak that animal control had to remove the last time."

"Okay....... It was bad." Fishlegs mumbled. "But that shouldn't stop you from going out. At least try one more time. Fourth time's the charm." The chubby man laughed nervously.

Hiccup raised a brow. "Don't you mean third time?"

Fishlegs let out a nervous laugh as Hiccup continued babbling. "I mean honestly Fish. I get that you guys want to set me up and all. Especially after the whole Tiffany thing." They stopped as Hiccup gave his friend a serious look. "I'm going to be fine Fishlegs and I'm sure I'll meet the one someday. But it's not like it's raining women."

Just then there was a shout from above. Hiccup tried to look up but something fell on him a split second later. "ACK" Hiccup gasped as he was crushed by the object that fell on him. Said object seemed to be moving and he realized that it was a person. A very beautiful woman. A very beautiful woman who was threatening three people with a potted cactus plant.

"Don't you dare come any closer Snotlout!!" She shouted at three people. Two stood on the fire escape. Fishlegs helped Hiccup up and they stared at the scene. A woman, looking exasperated, was leaning out of an apartment window while shouting for the two men to get the cactus wielding woman. The men started to descent the fire escape when the woman grabbed Hiccup and held the cactus to his throat.

"Stop!! I mean it! One more move and he gets it!" She shouted and several eyes turned to stare at her incredulously. "Heather call off your goons!"

"Are you actually serious Astrid?" The woman, Heather, leaning out of the window asked. Hiccup really wanted to know that as well. It wasn't everyday that he was threatened with a cactus.

But Astrid paid Hiccup no mind. He heard her shout "Snotlout, Eret are you guys really going to risk it? You know what I can do with a cactus."

The two men stopped halfway down the ladder, paling a bit as if they remembered something unpleasant. Astrid then took her chance. She proceeded to swiftly drag Hiccup to a mini cooper parked nearby.

"Hey what?!" Hiccup asked confused as she unlocked the car, and shoved him inside.

"I'll explain later!" she quickly said as she opened the driver's side door, shoved the cactus into Hiccup's arms, started the car and hightailed it out of there leaving Fishlegs, Heather, Snotlout and Eret to stare at the empty parking spot with incredulity.

"What just happened?!" Fishlegs shouted as he watched the blond woman kidnap his friend at cactus point.

Meanwhile Hiccup was wondering the same thing as he stared at the potted cactus on his lap and then at the blond woman behind the wheel. She was driving with determination and only once they were further away did she start to relax.

"So....... hello, I'm Hiccup Haddock. Nice to meet you. Why am I here? What's with the cactus?" Hiccup asked finally.

Astrid's head whipped to the right and her eyes widened. It was then that realization hit her. She had just kidnapped a complete stranger..... With a cactus. "Oh Thor!! I'm so sorry!!" She exclaimed. "I didn't mean to kidnap you! Oh Thor!"

"Let's just take a deep breath." Hiccup told her. They were now coming up to the freeway when Astrid spoke again.

"I'm...... Astrid Hofferson." She introduced and Hiccup's eyes widened as he recognized that name. "Sorry for dragging you into that situation." She apologized.

"Wait.... You're Astrid Hofferson. As in the Mystery writer Astrid Hofferson?" Hiccup asked. "My mother loves your books. My dad secretly does too."

"Eh...yeah" Astrid said as he cheeks tinged pink for a bit. "I had to get away for a bit." Hiccup looked at her questioningly.

"So......." He mumbled. "Just what happened?"

Astrid let out a sigh. "The woman ordering those two guys around is Heather. She's my editor and I might have been a bit behind on some of the drafts."

Hiccup just blinked as he stared at Astrid. "Her two goons Snotlout and Eret are her personal assistants. She usually brings them when she wants work done."

"And the cactus? How does that fit in?"

"That's Stormfly. My trusty cactus which has gotten me out of deadlines before." Astrid stated sincerely. This caused Hiccup to let out a guffaw.

"Wait you named your cactus?!" He laughed as Astrid rolled her eyes. "And people thought me naming my ferret Toothless was weird!"

"You named a ferret Toothless?" Astrid asked as her lips curved upwards.

"Yup" Hiccup told her. "Say why don't we get something to eat?"

Astrid thought about it for a moment when her stomach answered for her with a loud growl. She blushed again and then mumbled "Sure, and I know just the place."

Astrid took the next exit and drove to the waterfront. She stopped at a posh looking restaurant. "Best clams in the city." She told Hiccup as they got out. Astrid took her cactus with her before locking the car.

"Astrid are you sure this is alright?" Hiccup asked as he looked at the five star restaurant and then at their clothes. His t-shirt wasn't made for these places.

"Don't worry. They know me here." She said and then winked. "And it's my treat for... well...... kidnapping you." She, with cactus under one arm, took Hiccup by the hand and tugged him to the entrance.

Hiccup blushed a bit when she took his hand. They entered and the host quickly approached them. "Good afternoon Ms. Hofferson. I see you've brought a friend. Your usual table?"

"Of course Simon." Astrid told the host who didn't even bat an eye at what they were wearing or the large green cactus that Astrid was carrying. "Right this way please. Carrie will be with you shortly."

The restaurant was full but they were lead to a corner table which had a reserved sign on it. When the host left Hiccup turned to Astrid as she set the cactus down. He looked at her incredulously.

She laughed upon seeing that look and then told Hiccup "I'm the silent partner with the owners of this business. I always have a table here."

Their waitress, Carrie, arrived soon and they were handed their menu. She smiled at Hiccup before winking at Astrid and telling them she's be back to take their orders in a while.

Astrid let out a groan which grabbed Hiccup's attention. He put down the menu which had bold gold lettering reading 'A la twins'. "They probably think that we're on a date." She mumbled.

"Uhm..... okay?"

"If they think I'm on a date then the twins, aka the menaces from hell, will hear about this in a few minutes." Astrid groaned. "Those two have been trying to get me to go out on dates for a while now."

"And you don't date because?" Hiccup asked quietly.

"I'm finishing up my new book and I dumped my last boyfriend when he said I was paying too much attention to my silly writing instead of him." Astrid grumbled.

"Well that was pretty rude." Hiccup commented. "You could do so much better."

Astrid nodded and then asked "So I hope your girlfriend doesn't mind you coming here with me."

"I don't have a girlfriend anymore. I kinda got dumped." Hiccup said rather quietly.

Astrid was about to ask when Carrie came back to take their orders. Once the waitress left with their orders Astrid turned her attention back to Hiccup. "Who would dump a guy like you? You seem pretty sweet."

Hiccup's cheeks tinged pink and he quickly changed the subject. "So what made you become a writer?"

"Because kidnapping people and forcing them to act out your make-believe worlds is technically illegal." Astrid said without missing a beat. Hiccup just sat there and blinked at her.

"Are you serious?" He asked while quirking a brow.

"I was joking!" Astrid laughed upon seeing Hiccup so sceptical.

"Well you did kidnap me. Just making sure." He told her which earned him a playful punch.

"I've wanted to write since I was a kid. I wanted to see the happy faces of my readers when they picked up my stories. But seriously Hiccup. Why would someone dump a sweet guy like you?" Astrid asked with all sincerity.

"Well because all of this." he gestured.

"You just gestured to all of you." Astrid mumbled not quite getting it.

"Yeah that's pretty much it." Hiccup told Astrid as she looked at him disbelievingly. "Tiffany dumped me for another guy just because I got into an accident and lost part of my leg."

Astrid blinked and then she blinked again wordlessly. Hiccup thought that he might have broken her and waved a hand in front of her face. Astrid snapped out of her thoughts when Hiccup poked her. "The nerve of that woman!" Astrid growled. She might not know the woman but she hated her already.

"She sounds like a bloody harpy in my opinion."

They changed the topics to something more funny as the food arrived. Hiccup was telling Astrid about the speed dating fiascos causing her to nearly choke on one shrimps she was eating.

"That poor yak!" Astrid laughed as she took a sip from her wine glass.

"I know." Hiccup laughed.

After thirty minutes they were done with the main course and Carrie brought them each a large plate of tiramisu. "The twins say hi." Carrie laughed as she relayed the message.

Astrid's eye twitched as she turned her head around to see two familiar heads try, but fail, to hide behind the bar.

"Want to have some fun with them?" Hiccup asked as a mischievous smirk donned his face. Astrid raised a brow when he took a spoonful of the tiramisu and held it out for her. She caught on and grinned as she took the offered bite.

They could suddenly hear a girlish shriek from the bar followed by "Tuffnut shut up!"

Astrid couldn't help but giggle. It felt good to mess with the twins. They kept up the act and when they were done they noticed Simon carrying an empty pitcher and two wet shivering blond twins.

"Enjoyed the show Ruffnut, Tuffnut?" Astrid laughed as they made their way out. They left the twins openmouthed.

Hiccup held Astrid's cactus again as she gave him a ride back to his apartment. It was Hiccup who frowned when he saw who was waiting in front of his apartment building.

Hiccup stepped out of Astrid's mini cooper and confronted the woman who had been leaning against a red convertible. "Tiffany what are you doing here?" He asked incredulously.

The woman upon seeing Hiccup had a look of annoyance on her face. "Where were you?! Didn't you see my calls?"

"Tiffany why exactly are you here?" Hiccup sighed. He was glad that he had blocked her. Not so glad however that she had dropped by for Thor knows what reason. Astrid was watching from her car and pursed her lips.

"Why I'm here for you to take me back of course." Tiffany told him. Hiccup stared at his ex as if she had grown another head.

"You dumped me remember." Hiccup reminded her. "For some bodybuilder. Why in the Nine realms would I take you back."

"He apparently had a boyfriend." Tiffany muttered as she crossed her arms. "And you and I had a good thing going so I thought...."

"So you thought that I would take you back just like that?" Hiccup now started laughing.

"I'm the best thing that you had Hiccup!" Tiffany now growled as her eyebrow twitched. This caused Hiccup to laugh even harder. Tiffany was getting mad and then shouted "Listen you cripple do you really think another woman would look at you?!"

It was then that Astrid acted. She knew Hiccup could take care of himself but this woman didn't sit well with her. She grabbed her cactus and placed it on the hood of her car before grabbing Hiccup, who looked hurt by his ex's words, and pulling him down for a steamy kiss.

Astrid smirked when they came up for air as she took in Tiffany's gobsmacked expression. She gave Hiccup a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing her cactus and turning to Tiffany.

"Now see here." She told the woman while pointing the cactus at her. "Hiccup here has already moved on from a disgusting flea like you. Now I suggest you step off and get back into that car of yours and stop bothering my man."

"Or what" Tiffany growled.

Astrid let out a sigh. "Fine it's the hard way then girlie."

Hiccup stared wide-eyed as he found out exactly what Astrid could do with that cactus of hers. It was safe to say that Tiffany wouldn't be coming around after THAT. Once his ex sped off he turned to Astrid who had a satisfied look on her face.

"So..... your man?" He teasingly asked. Astrid did a perfect impression of a tomato as she mumbled "If you want to go on a date that is?"

"Sure. I don't think I can say no to a woman wielding a cactus." Hiccup told her. Astrid couldn't take it anymore and broke out in a fit of giggles.

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