donghyuck woke up feeling not even a hint of drowsiness in his body. he slept well. in fact, he couldn't even remember getting home or slipping into bed. he sat up, pushing the covers down around his waist. the room was still and nearly silent. light shone through the small crack where the curtain hadn't been closed at the window. it was early morning for sure, but it couldn't have been too early.

   yangyang's bed was still empty while the rest of the beds were full. donghyuck hung over the side of his bed, head peeking down towards the bunk beneath him. mark lay rested on his side, eyes closed and face peaceful. his pink lips were slightly parted, timed breaths coming out quietly. come to think of it, donghyuck had never seen mark's sleeping form. he always fell asleep first, and when he woke up mark was often already awake and about. 

   he looks pretty when he sleeps, donghyuck decided. then he stepped down the ladder careful not to wake anyone, and shivered slightly as his bare feet touched the cold floor. making his way over to the closet, he pulled out a jacket and wore it over his pajamas. feeling warmer, donghyuck silently left the dorm room and escaped into the hallway.

   he had two goals; to get a glass of very much-needed water, and to figure out what time it was. donghyuck suddenly remembered that he promised to take pictures of the tree outside for his art project with renjun since it became an inconvenience when it rained. ...but where was the small camera that he borrowed from the photography club?

   as he approached the kitchen, donghyuck poured himself a glass of cool water and downed it quickly. when he started on his second glass he realized that he was a lot thirstier than he thought. finishing his drink, he washed the glass and put it away where it belonged before exiting the kitchen and taking a left to the dining room. exactly as he remembered, there was a clock on the wall on the opposite side of the room. the time read 5:53.

   a small yawn escaped him, and he debated going back to bed when he figured he'd be disappointed if it was raining again when he woke up, and he didn't get to take a picture of his model for art class. he needed to find the camera before he did anything else. donghyuck thought back on what he did friday evening as finally, memories of studying in the library resurfaced to his mind.

   off he went, towards the library and up the stairs. though he was now wide awake again, his mind felt foggy as if he were missing something. shrugging his shoulders and figuring that it was simply too early, he reached the library and headed in the direction of the table that he remembered sitting at.

   empty.

   frowning, he pulled out the chair he had sat in and began searching under the table—any possible candidate of where he could've misplaced the item. nearby bookshelves and other work tables were checked, but still no result. donghyuck sighed, preparing to give up when he remembered that he took a break in the small nook of books and pillows. it didn't take long before he was lifting cushions and reorganizing the area. sure enough, as he lifted a dark green plush pillow, the film camera that he'd been looking for revealed itself.

   "thank goodness," he mumbled to himself, taking a seat in the heap of pillows and resting for a moment. he had no idea how he was meant to apologize as well as ask for another camera from the photography club if he hadn't been able to find it. not to mention the slight humiliation he would face while explaining to renjun about the whole ordeal. 

   deciding to rest there a bit longer, he turned on the camera and watched as the screen came to life. curious as to what moments the camera could've captured in the past, donghyuck checked the camera roll and began flicking through pictures.

   most of the images held kids around donghyuck's age, both older and younger. there were pictures of students studying, pictures of students dining together, and pictures of the school athlete's in training and games. donghyuck wore a small and genuine smile on his face. their happiness was radiating through the pictures and spreading to him, a stranger who was still technically new to the school and figuring his way around the place. he had no connection to the people in the pictures, but he still shared the same feelings that they showed. the photographer had done a wonderful job. 

   donghyuck didn't realize how far back he had been looking until he noticed a picture of mark and jaemin. at first, he didn't even recognize mark as the tired and somewhat sad look that he wore everyday was nonexistent. he had a bright grin and round glasses. he looked like a baby and jaemin only looked younger. both of them had matching grins and big eyes. curious, happy, and without... fear maybe? 

   was that what changed mark and jaemin? had it been fear? thinking about it now, the jaemin he knew seemed different too. less lively compared to the jaemin in the picture. donghyuck flicked through a few more pictures, and sure enough, the two appeared again. this time with jeno and another student that donghyuck didn't recognize. the four of them were standing next to eachother, arms on each others' shoulders, looks of pure bliss. 

   did school pressure change them? jeno too appeared different as donghyuck had never seen that same look on his face. his eyes were complete crescents, lips stretching into a smile, and cheekbones raised high. comparing their faces in the pictures to the images in donghyuck's mind, had all of their happy expressions that they wore in front of donghyuck until now been fake? or perhaps they weren't fake completely? how much had been real? donghyuck now wondered.

   he examined the fourth boy in the picture that he didn't recognize. the boy was in between jeno and mark. maybe he did basketball too? he'd never seen him before during practice though, right? "did he transfer?" donghyuck thought out loud.

   the boy had fair skin and pink cheeks. he appeared to be the type to get red easily as his face was flushed from joy. his dark hair almost reached his eyes and covered his forhead. he's pretty, in an almost feminine way, donghyuck mused. mark didn't wear glasses in this picture, he also noticed.

   a few pictures later, donghyuck saw them again. it was mark, jaemin, jeno, renjun, the boy he didn't recognize, and another boy. wait, it couldn't be—donghyuck held his breath, bringing the camera up to his face for a better look. the newer boy that he was seeing in a picture for the first time had such a strong resemblance to the boy from the hallway. what was his name? "daeshim," donghyuck breathed. 

   now that he saw the similarities, he could only see it as it was. was that really daeshim? taking a second to look at where they were, goosebumps covered his skin when the realization hit him. they were all sitting exactly where he currently was. as one person, donghyuck had plenty of space in the nook with bookshelves on either side of him. in the picture, the six boys sat together, legs crossed and cards dealt to each person. donghyuck quickly noticed the game they were playing. poker.

   the order they were sitting in was jeno, renjun, jaemin, daeshim, the boy from the last photo, and mark. donghyuck looked at jeno, renjun, and jaemin, "they really had been friends back then."

   donghyuck looked through more pictures but only managed to see the same old pictures of kids studying or hanging out together. no more familiar faces. 

   as donghyuck turned off the camera and headed out of the library, he couldn't help the questions that surfaced his brain. why did all of his friends seem so depressed now? almost as if someone had turned off their light and they didn't know how to turn it back on. —and had daeshim been one of their friends or was it just a coincidence that he was in that picture? who was that other boy? where did he go? did something happen to him? did he move and was that was made the others seem sad too?

   the sun kissed male yawned and this time, he knew the tiredness wouldn't be going away for a while. despite the whole point of searching for the camera in order to take the pictures for renjun, he had now used his brain too much to do anything else with it while his body craved one thing. "i need some sleep, holy fuck."   

---

   when donghyuck arose again, it was because of the soft strumming of guitar from the bunk below him. yet again, he felt foggy and dazed. instead of sitting up as he had done the first time he woke up, donghyuck remained still in bed. he closed his eyes and moved the pillow from behind his head and into his arms. the soft melody had him squeezing the pillow. his emotions and thoughts were all over the place. he couldn't put a name to his feelings even if he had wanted to. 

   time passed, he wasn't sure how long, but mark continued playing the guitar with hardly any mistakes at all. eventually, donghyuck got out of bed and went to the bathroom without sparing the other a glance. he didn't know why he felt awkward? 

   he emptied his bladder and washed his face, brushing his teeth afterwards. anything he would do on a normal day. when he felt freshened up and more awake, he slipped out of the bathroom, accidentally making eye contact with mark the second he did so. 

   mark gave him a small smile before speaking, "good morning." "mhmm," donghyuck hummed, "good morning." 

   the blonde returned to his instrument while donghyuck remained standing there. he wasn't exactly sure what to do with himself. memories from earlier that morning flashed in his mind, but it all felt so distant. he would've easily believed that it had all been a dream if the camera weren't under his pillow right where he placed it before he drifted off to sleep. 

   "uhm, mark," donghyuck hesistated momentarily. the canadian's strumming came to a slow stop and he looked up. the surrounding air was somehow suffocating, but donghyuck wanted to know— he needed to know if whatever he felt the day before and the countless days prior, if it had all been one sided and if he'd been making it up all along. 

   "hyuck?"

   the voice pulled him out of his dangerous thoughts and donghyuck faltered. what was he even meant to say? "i uh," he coughed, "i think we should talk."

   no, no, no. it was all too fast. he had nothing to back up what he was thinking. there had been nothing there to discuss, only fleeting feelings and assumptions. 

   "alright," mark said, laying his guitar in his lap. "about?"

   donghyuck took one small step back, too emerged in his thoughts to process proper words. the action was noticed by mark who picked up on the younger's discomfort. 

   he swung his legs over the side of the bed as if he were to stand up, but he remained seated. "come here," he said, voice soft and soothing. the ravenette did as he was told without thinking twice. he sat down on the mattress, it sunk down under his weight. he and mark weren't touching, but he could feel the body heat radiating off of him.

   "can you sing?" mark asked, lifting the guitar into his arms once again and strumming lightly with his fingers. the melody was now familiar and calming. "a little," donghyuck admitted, "but it's only a hobby," he said. mark nodded.

   the song he'd been playing shifted into another. this repeated again and again where mark just played, and donghyuck listened. they didn't speak, simply enjoying the music. after the next song ended mark paused, his fingers leading to the next song shortly after.

   "do you know this song?" mark asked. donghyuck nodded, it was wait by exo. one of his favorites when he was still in middle school. "can you sing it?" mark looked hopeful. 

   the first note came out shaky from nerves, but as the song progressed, so did donghyuck. the more comfortable he grew, the more his voice matched mark's guitar playing. he didn't even realize how into the song he had become until it ended and he opened his eyes. 

   mark was looking at him with such a fond look, admiration mixed with something else that donghyuck couldn't place. the older's hands hovered over the strings of the guitar, still and un-moving. "your voice," mark started while donghyuck picked at his nail nervously. "yeah, i know i could use some practice," donghyuck said, eyes fixed on the floor. "hey, hey," mark interjected. "that's not what i was going to say. i think it's beautiful," he stopped, "it's so beautiful."

   donghyuck looked up, surprised. "really?" it had been a while since he last sung. in his recent music classes they had been focusing on instruments which meant piano for him. with the extra classes he took, english studying to catch up on, along with dance practice and an art project to work on, he'd abandoned singing for the time being.

   "yes, really," mark said, a smile breaking across his face. "this is an art school as you know, i think you could have a serious future in music. i could talk to a few of the teachers or something, god, you're easily one of the most talented people i've ever met."

   the sun kissed male flushed at the unexpected flattery. "that was originally the plan when i enrolled," donghyuck admitted, "but.." mark leaned in, "there's a 'but'?" donghyuck nodded, giggling, "but recently i've been thinking to focus more on my studies and keep it as a hobby."

   mark groaned to which donghyuck laughed again. "please don't," he pleaded. "oh come on, you can't really expect me to pursue a career in music and actually become successful. something more stable would be better in the long run," donghyuck argued. "you're forgetting," mark interrupted, voice low.

   "forgetting what?" donghyuck found himself copying his tone in voice, quiet and breathy. "what makes you happy? hmm?" mark asked, hand now on donghyuck's thigh, rubbing gently.

   why did it seem that everytime they were together the space around them would shrink? how did they always end up gravitating towards each other like this?

   "music i guess," donghyuck answered. "then that's what's more important in the long run," mark stated surely. "look at me," he said, breath fanning over donghyuck's face.

   "most of the students here come from well off families, they don't even get to choose what they do in the future. jaemin may love dancing but he knows all of that stops once he graduates. jeno too, that's why i encouraged him to join the team. the natural talent he has will go to waste when next year ends. both jaemin and jeno, they're going straight to the office where their parents want them to be.

   "you, donghyuck... you're brilliant, so brilliant. you have the voice of an angel, you're intelligent, one of the most genuine people i know, and," his voice got quieter, "and you're pretty too." donghyuck and mark both blushed, looking away. "my point is," he cleared his throat, "you have an amazing future waiting for you if you choose to take it donghyuck ah, please promise me that you'll try at least."

   there was only a moment of silence until donghyuck spoke, "well after you say all that, how could i not agree?" mark looked satisfied which made donghyuck satisfied. the feeling was brief as the dorm room door swung open and the two sprung apart, each now on opposite sides of the mattress.

   "dinner guys?" jaemin strolled in, slowly looking up from the textbook he held in his hand, oblivious to whatever he had interrupted. "c-coming," donghyuck jumped up. neither of the males even realized how much time had passed.

   mark watched as the younger followed jaemin out the door. "i'll be there soon," he called. as the door shut closed and he was left in solitude, he sighed, laying down on his bed, limbs sprawled out and mind a mess.

   what was he getting himself into? and did he want to get out before it was too late?

-----

word count: 2784

if you guys find this story confusing, don't worry, i'm even more confused

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾