Chapter 13

I've prepared myself for whatever would happen tonight.

My first day at work was eventful, but I didn't do anything other than familiarize myself around. I was so scared it'd be so stressful for me since everything was new to me and the fact that I had to keep a secret with Raj added a weight on my shoulders. The good thing about is no one questioned us on how it happened. Si Raj naman ang madalas nilang tanungin dahil siya ang matagal na nilang katrabaho kaysa sa akin. 

If they found out that Raj got me into this work in exchange for something personal agenda might get us in some kind of trouble so we have to be careful about that.

"Just like what we've talked about, do not say anything unless I say so," Raj reminded me.

Napalunok naman ako ng laway saka ako tumango sa kanya. "Alright. I will. . ."

"Are you scared?"

Hindi ko naman napigilan ang sarili ko at humugot na lamang ako nang malalim na hininga. Dahan-dahan din naman akong tumango. "Yes, I am. . . I think I have the right feel this way, right?"

He nodded. "Of course, but just like what I said, you don't have to worry about anything. I'm here for you. . ."

I smiled at him and tried to calm myself down. Nang bumaba na kami ng sasakyan at tinungo papasok ng bahay nila ay sinubukan ko talagang hindi kabahan. The last time I went here, Raj introduced me as someone special to him. Ngayon na ipapakilala naman niya ako na mag-asawa na kami ay mas nakakakaba. I'm not sure how his parents would say, pero kung ano man ang nangyari, I shouldn't worry about anything—just like he promised me.

Sa tanang buhay ko, maliban sa job interviews, ito ang pinakamalalang pinasok ko na hindi ko alam kung makakauwi pa ba ako ng buhay sa sobrang takot.

Hawak-hawak ni Raj ang kamay ko. He was confident and I was trying hard to be. 

When we finally reached the living room, we met his step-mother first who was seemingly lovely to both of us. Kahit papaano naman ay nabawasan ang tinik sa dibdib ko. I wasn't able to talk to her the last time Raj brought me here dahil na-bad mood ang tatay nito. She seemed like a kind person, too, so I'm sure I don't have to deal with anything bad at the moment.

"Mere pita kahaan hain?" Raj asked. (Where's my father?)

"Vah abhee apane kamare mein hai. main abhee use phon karoonga. aap donon ko abhee bhojan kshetr mein jaana chaahie taaki tab tak sab kuchh vyavasthit ho jaega," sabi pa ng step-mom nito. (He's in his room right now. I will call him now. Both of you should go to the dining area now so everything will be settled by then.)

"Theek hai, ham karenge," sagot ni Raj. (Okay, we will.)

Sabay na naman kaming tumungo ni Raj sa dining area nila. I was amazed how big it was. Raj and I finally settled down. Magkatabi kaming dalawa. Ayokong malayo sa kanya sa sitwasyon ngayon. 

"What are you feeling right now?" he asked.

I looked at him with a thin smile on my face. "I'm feeling okay, but I'm still quite nervous. I'm not sure if your father would like me at all since you just disobeyed him the other day and it wasn't good."

"Yeah, but his decisions shouldn't always be my decisions," he defended. "He wanted it for himself, but I don't want it. There was a difference in it. I know it's a tradition, but I may not follow it like they used to be. He married an American before. He wasn't following a tradition after all."

"Oh, yes, I get that. . . She's a deal breaker and now you're following her footprint."

Napangisi naman si Raj. "I love my mom."

"What if you just move to the US?"

"I can, but it would be hard to do that with my father around."

"I see. . . If you really want to get out of the cage set by your father, I think it was time for you to do your own thing, especially, we're doing this kind of thing between us now so that's a head start."

"I'll look into it," tipd nitong sagot sa akin.

Saglit lang din naman nang dumating ang mga magulang ni Raj. We stood and greeted them. Binati ko rin naman ang tatay ni Raj. He greeted me back, but he was quiet as it seemed like he was studying me. Gaya niya, tahimik lang ako at sinunod ang mga sinasabi ni Raj.

His stepmother also leads the dinner. Somehow I can feel the tension building. Hindi kasi nagsasalita ang tatay niya at nagsimula na ring kumain. Dahan-dahan lang din naman ang pagkain ko kahit na medyo gutom na gutom na ako. I just have to stay demure in front of them. 

In the middle of our dinner, his stepmom asked us and we got to know each other. Obviously, hinayaan ko nang magsalita si Raj. We talked about it earlier and made our communications clear para walang malilihis at magduda sila bigla. 

He told them na nagkakilala kami no'ng nandito ako sa Mumbai at bumibisita sa mga pinsan ko. Doon kami nagkakilala. Totoo rin naman 'yon. The only thing that wasn't true was we get along so much after that. E, hindi niya nga ako masyadong pinapansin noon. Ang hirap magpapansin sa kanya kaya siguro mas lalo akong nagkagusto sa kanya kasi gustong-gusto ko kunin ang atensyon niya.

Throughout the dinner, his father was quiet and that I was so nervous about. Kung may tumatakbo sa isipan nito ngayon, kailangan kong malaman 'yon. Napapansin ko rin ang tingin niya sa akin. Nginingitian ko naman siya, pero iniiwas niya lang ang tingin sa akin. Gusto ko na lang magtago sa ilalim ng lamesa.

Kapag tinanong ng stepmom ni Raj ang asawa nito, sasagot naman ito, pero hindi na niya ipapaliwanag kung ano man ang gustong ipahiwatig. He only answered what was the question asked to him. Hindi niya siguro gusto na nadito sa bahay nila ngayon.

He wanted someone for his son at hindi ako 'yon.

Nang matapos naman ang dinner ay nagkausap sina Raj at ang tatay nito. I ended up staying sa living room kung saan ay nakasama ko naman ang stepmom niya.

"How are you? Did you like the dinner?" she asked.

Mabilis naman akong tumango. "Yes, I did. Thank you so much for doing this. Everything you cooked for us was all excellent. I wish I could cook as same as you."

"Oh, thank you, dear," she said, smiling. "Thank you as well for coming to have dinner with us and sorry if my husband seemed like not in the mood to talk. He's a good and loving man. I can assure you that. You don't have to be afraid of him. Sometimes, he just thought that the world was against him. I noticed that when I knew that he was still missing his ex-wife, Raj's mom. . ."

Hindi ako nakapag-react sa sinabi niya. 

"But he loves me, that's all that matters," she said with a full smile on her face. "Now, tell me more about you and Raj. How didn't we get an invitation to your wedding? It happened so fast. I'm not sure if they were talking about it right now, but probably it is. You know, my husband wanted someone else for his son and Raj knew that."

"Yeah, he mentioned. . ." tipid na sagot ko dahil ayokong may masabi rin akong ibang bagay na hindi ko dapat mabanggit.

"But both of you looked great. Your children would be beautiful."

"C-Children?" I stuttered.

She nodded, grinning. "Yes. My husband wanted Raj to finally have his own family and it seemed like you're now Raj's wife, that will happen sooner, right? Did you do your honeymoon?"

Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sa kanya dahil hindi naman namin napag-usapan ni Raj 'to. Nag-isip ako nang maisasagot ko sa kanya, pero nabigla rin naman kaming dalawa nang makita namin si Raj na nakasimangot. He quickly got to my side and grabbed my hand. Napatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko at nagmamadali itong maglakad palabas ng bahay. Hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa stepmom niya dahil sa pagmamadali ni Raj.

"Wait. What's happening?" I asked. I couldn't even pull my hand away from his grip.

"We're going home," he told me, and that was all I got.

Dali-dali kaming sumakay sa loob ng sasakyan niya at pinaandar ang sasakyan niya. I waited for him to tell me what happened because I knew before we got here, he was talking with his father. Gusto kong tanungin kung anong nangyar, but I knew he wouldn't just tell me about it kaya hinayaan ko na lamang. Nang makarating din kami sa bahay niya, sinabihan lang ako nito na dumiretsyo na ng kwarto ko at magpahinga, pero wala ng ibang sinabi.

I got in my room with a cloud of thoughts. I have no idea what happened between him and his father, but I'm sure their argument escalated into something serious and I'm not ready for it.

***