Darkness, malevolence and regrets reveal

Thy inner core's rancour and demonic appeal:

Summon it together to break the Seal.

Hm. Sounds easy. I better put up a ward around our home in case I go out of control. Ah, but how will Xichen-ge come in? No, forget the ward. But then, what if A-Yuan and the rest come? No, can't let them get hurt either...

Wei Wuxian scratched his hair, then dug his fingers into his scalp and pulled his hair down, sulking. What the heck was he to do now?

"A-Ying needs help?"

Wei Wuxian looked up from the script on his crossed lap to see Lan Zhan approach the bed on which he sat. Wei Wuxian smiled at him and patted the space beside him. Lan Zhan climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged beside his husband and looked at the script. "What is it?"

"A-Zhan... Shouldn't I put a ward tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"What if I lose control?"

"You won't."

"Lan Zhan, do you see these? These ingredients I need to accumulate, they're all raging emotions! With the memories I have, I don't think I'll be able to control my own self!"

Lan Zhan took his hand in his own and placed their intertwined hands on his lap, stroking Wei Ying's clasped one.

"If you do, I will calm you. No need of xiongzhang. I'll use Wangji."

"But Lan Zhan, what if someone gets hurt?"

"Nobody comes to the Jingshi–"

"A-Yuan? Yiyi? Little Rulan? I can't let them get hurt."

Lan Zhan blinked as he realised the extent of Wei Ying's fears. True, what if they come? Though he didn't expect things to turn that severe...

"Wei Ying, trust me. Nothing will happen. Wangji always calms you down, it will do so this time too," he said, stroking Wei Ying's head with the free hand to soothe his blazing brain. "Calm down. It'll be fine."

"Mn." Wei Ying sighed and snuggled up to his husband, burying himself in Lan Wangji's chest.

"A-Ying?"

"A-Zhan, ask."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you might go out of control and would need help? I asked you in the Library, you didn't say?"

Wei Ying's fingers rolled the other's headband's loose ends around his fingers. "I... You keep saying Wangji will calm me... You'll see after tomorrow."

Lan Zhan raised his brow but spoke no further. The two sat there, hugging each other, not uttering a word. Lan Zhan waited for almost an hour that way before being pleased to hear Wei Ying's soft snores. He smiled and gently laid Wei Ying down on his pillow, then blew out the candlelight.

The Yiling Laozu's script and Stygian Tiger Seal, both capable of destroying the world but even more capable of changing the two sleepers' lives forever, lay on the Jingshi's table, deceivingly dormant.

**********

The first day of a fateful two weeks dawned.

Following an early bath and a morning chat with Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji seated themselves in the Jingshi, side by side, knees touching. Once comfortable in the lotus position, Lan Wangji turned to look at his husband.

The latter was staring. Straight at the wall before them. His eyes were round and his mind clearly far, far away.

"A-Ying?"

Wei Wuxian jumped. "Hm?" He turned to Lan Zhan.

"What is it?"

"No just... If things get too serious, don't prevent Jiang Cheng from using Zidian, okay?"

"WHAT?"

"A-Zhan, listen. It's resentment I'm building up. I'm calling on demonic energy, which means I might get possessed. So Zidian might be the last thing you can do to help me, understand?"

Lan Zhan just stared, horror and anxiety now pouring into his aura.

"A-Zhan... you have to promise."

Lan Zhan nodded.

"Good then let's begin!" Wei Wuxian beamed, turned again to face the wall, and shut his eyes. Lan Wangji ignored the dread and followed.

**********

"Rouruan, you eat too much! Just like Daddy." Jingyi wagged his finger at the black bunny who had just finished off the last carrot he'd brought. "That one was for Lil' Apple!"

"Jingyi, let him be," a calm and soothing voice spoke.

"Sizhui's right. Rouruan went missing for so many days, he must be hungry!"

"Well then why don't you go and get the carrots for Lil' Apple, Young Mistress Jin?"

"I already fed him. Apples. 'Cause that's what he likes," Jin Ling huffed back.

"Huh? Apples? From where?"

"I told Jiujiu to bring some when he came here for training with Lan Shushu."

"Where are they now?"

"Hanshi, of course, training–"

"No, you idiot! Where are the apples?"

"Oh. Ask Auntie Jing."

"Who's Auntie Jing?"

Jin Ling smacked his face with his palm. "You don't even know your Madam Fan's name?"

"Oh, she's Fan Jing? Wow I should call her Auntie Jing too! Like Auntie Yue! Sizhui, catch you guys later!"

Sizhui waved to a crazily running away Jingyi. Jingyi loves Lil' Apple a lot now, eager to feed it till it got rounder. Though I don't know how much rounder Lil' Apple could get... Sizhui pondered.

When Jingyi was well out of sight, Sizhui turned to Jin Ling. "A-Ling?"

"Hm?" Jin Ling was busy tickling a bunny.

"How's your sect doing now? After what you said about the library, you seem to be rebuilding it."

"Ah, yes. The library will have to wait till our fathers come out of their seclusion. Other than that, there's all the night hunting. The other Jins my age and seniors back in Lanling will go on night hunts almost every night. The bounties, we split it up. Half of it will be saved or spent by the sect itself." And then Jin Ling smiled.

"The remainder half?" Sizhui asked made curious, by his smile — not to mention, slightly affected. Somehow, Jin Ling's smile made him lightly gasp. Unlike himself, who was always smiling like his Daddy, Jin Ling hardly ever smiled. Other than a smile of pride. But this was... caring. This was a smile Lan Sizhui had never seen on Jin Rulan's golden face. Wow, was all Sizhui could think.

"The other half, we gift to villagers. We've a lot of villages in and around Lanling. Plus, we win a lot of bounties too. So at least once a week, we donate to a village. Sometimes we keep them in our treasure chambers and bring it out when a commoner in need comes asking for help. And you know what helps the most?"

Sizhui blinked twice to free himself from the queer grasp of the other's smile, then asked "What?"

"The few of us who came here, Jin Chan, Jin Xiao, Jin Xiyi, Wang Yuehua and I, ever since we came here, us five have been gaining such massive bounties! We tend to win the night hunts every now and then with you guys, and the shares we get are huge! So we keep some of them and send the rest to Lanling. Same purposes."

Sizhui stared. Let alone giving villagers money, the only help he could ever have done to commoners was eradicate evil: which was something every spiritual cultivator does. Of course, he wasn't a sect leader, but even Jin Chan and that talkative Xiyi girl did that? Wow. Philanthropists at such a young age? Sizhui didn't know what to say.

But what he did know was that Jin Ling was just amazing. This must be the first time the LanlingJin sect bred such benefactors. True benefactors, seeing as Jin Guangyao used to be a help-the-public hero too.

"A-Ling..."

"Hm?" Jin Ling was still massaging the bunnies' ears.

"You really are wonderful."

Jin Ling's hands stopped mid-air. He looked up to see if he'd been dreaming, but no. Lan Sizhui was staring at him with eyes full of sheer awe. And a sincere smile.

Jin Rulan looked away. The hell was he doing? Staring at him like that? And that smile. How could his smile turn from Daddy's to Father's in an instant?

"A-Ling, are you alright?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, of course, why?" Jin Ling stammered, looking back at his friend.

"You're... you're red."

"Huh?"

"Your face. Red as that chilli paste..." Lan Sizhui chuckled.

Jin Ling grew redder. "Nonsense." He humphed and looked away, returning his attention to the bunnies.

"Father really is sweet," Sizhui wondered aloud.

"What makes you say that all of a sudden?"

"This." Sizhui was holding up Lan Zhan's white rabbit.

"Ah, right. Sweet indeed. Little Ying. Isn't Little Ying Daddy's best friend?" Jin Ling asked, scooting over to Sizhui so that he could stroke Little Ying.

"Yes. And Rouruan's Father's best friend. Why?"

"Didn't you notice? Each named the other's friend," Jin Ling ran his hand through Little Ying's fur. Little Ying was happily reposing on Sizhui's white coat, the only thing that Jin Ling could discern to distinguish was Little Ying's silvery eyes. "Hey? I never saw that! Little Ying has silver eyes!"

"What? Wow. And Rouruan has golden ones!" Sizhui pointed to the black bunny on Rulan's lap.

Jin Ling beamed at Sizhui. "Exactly! Their eyes match our fathers!"

"Curious," Sizhui nodded.

"Curious, yes. Coincidence? Think not," Jin Ling laughed as he placed Rouruan and Little Ying on the grass. "Come, Sizhui. Let's go."

"Aw but why?" Sizhui whined. "We don't have night hunts today!"

"Aren't you supposed to sleep at nine? Haven't you seen the sky yet?"

Sizhui looked up. Aubergine faded into a dark azure. A faint shadow of a moon peeked through the trees. "Huh? Is it seven already?"

"Let's go." Jin Ling walked forth while Sizhui caught up with him. "Hey, Sizhui."

"A-Ling?"

"Your wound..."

Sizhui laughed. "It's been days, A-Ling and you still keep asking. I'm fine!"

"But you're limping," Jin Ling nodded his head to Sizhui's legs. Indeed, as Sizhui walked, one leg sunk deeper into the mountain mud.

"Ah, that's just... My legs went numb after sitting with the bunnies for hours."

"Oh. Then that's fine," Jin Ling nodded, letting out a sigh of relief.

Hm? He's worried? Why does he remind me of Father a lot? Sizhui grinned as the two walked back to their rooms. 

**********

Two days had gone by and things were going well. Wei Wuxian had meditated night and day, never stopping unless Lan Zhan shook him awake for lunchtime. Which was composed of things other than eating too, to make up for the together-time lost at night.

But both the Twin Jades and the younger Pride were happy. The two days and two nights had gone by smoothly, eventless albeit for an occasional shiver that slightly shook Wei Wuxian every now and then. Since their knees touched, Lan Zhan would sense it and he'd immediately keep his cold hand over Wei Ying's burning hot one. Within minutes, the latter was cooler and calmer.

Every few minutes, Lan Zhan would open his eyes to check on Wei Ying, then go back to his state of heavenly tranquility. As Lan Xichen had hoped, Lan Wangji felt his spiritual energy soaring by the dawn of the third day. The single meal also helped to practise inedia to an extent, while the meditation improved his cultivation strongly.

The third morning flew by. Afternoon arrived.

Lan Zhan was relaxedly breathing in and out when he felt something shake next to him. Sharp drawing of breath. Shivering. Shaking. Lan Zhan was shocked as he opened his eyes to check on Wei Ying.

Wei Ying was emitting strong waves of energy. Black smoke twirled around him. Anger. Anxiety. Worry. Woe. Sorrow. Grief. Regret. Dread.

"Wei Ying!" Having tried and failed to shake his husband awake, he immediately summoned Wangji.

Cleansing, since that's what he's used to, Lan Zhan decided then played.

The melody flew in through Wei Ying's ears, reaching out to his enraged demonic core. After ten minutes of playing, all the black swirling smoke had receded from view. But Wei Ying was still shaking. With every passing minute, the shaking worsened, and by now Wei Ying was almost swaying rapidly. If this continued, Wei Ying would go out of his mind in no time.

The spirits and energy are gone, it's just Wei Ying's mentality, I need to reach his mind. Lan Wangji played another melody. Their melody. 

Ten minutes. Again. Wei Ying finally stopped rocking back and forth. Why did it always take that long? He's lingering in the memories.

"Wei Ying, wake up!"

But though Lan Zhan played on, Wei Ying still wouldn't wake up. Lan Zhan had calmed his core and his mind, but what now? Wei Ying slowly started to shake again. But this time, it wasn't the frightening rocking. Wei Ying's shoulders shook slightly. Lan Zhan kept Wangji aside to bend down and look at Wei Ying's face.

He was crying.

"Wei Ying!"

What on earth? First the smoke. Then the vigorous swaying. Now Wei Ying's crying?

Lan Zhan immediately pulled out a blank sheet from the table nearby and scribbled a note. He snapped his fingers, and the letter turned into a golden butterfly that flew out the window. Now all Lan Zhan could do was wait.

**********

"I say, I wonder if those two really will beat Baoshan Sanren this time," Jiang Cheng chuckled as he sipped a cup of warm green tea. "Ey, Xichen, this tea's good."

"Thanks," Xichen nodded.

"No," Jiang Cheng said. "Thank you. Zidian's much better now. I was always afraid it might harm Meilien at some point. But right now, it's more like Meilien will break this!"

"I hope Meilien isn't being taught sword arts again," Lan Xichen sighed. "Last time we gave Meilien for the juniors to babysit, she came back ready to kick the milk bottle around..."

"Ha! It's good though. She'll be fantastic when she grows up."

"She will," Xichen nodded. "Wanyin?"

"Hm?"

"Who takes care of Meilien at Lotus Pier?"

"What do you mean? I don't like giving her to anyone..."

"No, I meant, like how you let me take care of her while you're here? Who takes care of her in Yunmeng? Or anywhere outside Gusu?"

"What do you mean outside Gusu?"

"Well. As long as she's within Gusu, I'll protect her, look after her. But beyond that?"

"And what do you think I'm there for?"

"Wanyin, I've seen how you babysit. Tell me you have a caretaker at Lotus Pier!"

Jiang Wanyin waved his hand. "Yes yes, calm down. Auntie Yue takes care of her like a grandmother. And then there's all the Jiangs, they adore her. There are a few senior female Jiangs, cousins and Junior Sisters: they look after her most of the time. I'm good with sons, I took after Jin Ling for so long. But a girl..." Jiang Cheng shook his head.

"What is it?" Lan Xichen asked.

"Demands too much!"

Lan Xichen chuckled. "Of course they do. But you know what I learnt from Meilien?"

"What?"

"That no matter what she says she wants, the instant you give her a warm hug, she's the happiest girl in the world," Lan Xichen smiled, swirling his tea.

Jiang Cheng gaped at him. Really does have the softest heart... Damn it! What's he smiling like that for? All angelic.

Just then something fluttered into the room and landed on Xichen's hand. Xichen listened to the butterfly's message.

'Xiongzhang, help. Wei Ying... I don't know what's wrong.'

Lan Xichen shot up, ignoring the cup that crashed on the floor. "Wanyin, quick. Jingshi."

"What? So much for beating Baoshan Sanren!" Jiang Cheng left his emptied cup rolling on the table and sprinted to the Jingshi with Xichen. 

**********

"Wangji?"

"Xiongzhang!" Lan Zhan was kneeling beside Wei Ying, panicked and horrified. Wei Ying was... in a terrible state. His face had a pallor worse than ever, and his forehead was wrapped in beads of sweat. His shoulders shook and his chest heaved as tears trickled down his cheeks.

"What the hell?" Jiang Cheng stared. "What's he crying for?"

"Wangji, explain."

"Xiongzhang, Wei Ying was shaking. Demonic energy and black smoke radiating. I played Cleansing and he calmed down. But then he was shivering so I played his favourite song. Then he stopped it all, but started crying. I don't know..." Lan Zhan's voice trailed off in despair. His Wei Ying was crying, and there was nothing he could do. He looked up at Lan Xichen with pleading eyes.

Lan Xichen nodded. "I think I know what's wrong. No need to panic," he waved his hand to summon Liebing and played a melody.

"Er... Xichen, Lan Wangji just said he played Cleansing..." Jiang Cheng's reminding broke off as he stared at Wei Wuxian. He was recovering. The tears stopped and so did the sweat and shivers. In less than five minutes, he was smiling peacefully.

Lan Xichen put Liebing aside and nodded.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan shook his husband.

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes. "A-Zhan? Lunchtime?" 

"Wei Ying!" Lan Zhan hugged him tightly. Wei Ying blinked.

"Er... Lan Zhan? What's the matter? Gege? A-Cheng? What are you... Oh no. Did I lose control?" Wei Wuxian hastily looked around him. No, nothing's broken, nobody's hurt, thank goodness. But why was A-Zhan so miserable? And why the heck was A-Cheng giving him an I'll-kill-you glare?

"Ge, what happened?"

Lan Wangji pulled back but held the other's hand as his brother spoke. Lan Xichen explained what had happened.

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Think. Wangji's zither couldn't help but my Liebing did. What memory were you reminiscing?" Lan Xichen asked.

Wei Wuxian understood. "Oh."

"Wei Ying, what was it?"

"A-Zhan..."

"Tell me."

"But I did," Wei Ying turned to his husband.

"Huh?"

"A-Zhan. That's what I saw. All those times..."

"Didn't you say you'd be starting with 'darkness'?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"Yes. I thought of Burial Mounds and the QishanWen dungeons the past few days. Then I thought of the Xuanwu. That's where I found the Yin Iron. The sword that produced Chenqing. It was terrifying inside that tortoise's shell, all screaming and wailing and absolute darkness. And a lot of malevolence in the spirits in it too, so I thought I could move on from 'darkness' to 'malevolence' with it. But... I might have unwittingly skipped over to 'regrets'. I think I remembered fighting the Xuanwu with A-Zhan. A-Zhan's leg was broken, and he got wounded in the fight..." And then the time alone by the fire in that cold cave. Cold and dark, but Lan Zhan had been his light. Brighter and warmer than the fire. And yet... he'd been stupid to an impeccable extreme in his past life.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan patted his hand.

"Wangji, that song you said was didi's favourite, is it something between you two?"

"Mn. I wrote it." For him, his eyes continued.

Xichen smiled. "Nice. But then... No wonder didi cried. Thinking of you, regretting, and then he hears your song. That would explain the crying. And it also explains why didi only answered to Liebing. You're calm with me, no regrets and suffering. Also, the very sound of Wangji might be something you can't bear in that out-of-control state."

"That's why Wei Ying told me to wait and see why you said my Wangji won't help?"

Wei Wuxian nodded to his husband's question.

"Wei Wuxian! Do you know how much you scared us? Focus better next time!"

"I will, A-Cheng."

Jiang Cheng nodded. "Then, A-Xian, do you need anything?" He asked, still in an angered tone.

"No. I'm good. Thanks for coming. Thank you, gege," Wei Wuxian nodded to his brothers who headed back to the door.

"Wangji, if anything happens, send for me immediately."

"Sure, xiongzhang. Thank you," Lan Zhan replied.

Lan Xichen waved off the thank you as he stepped out.

"Ge?"

He turned around. "Didi?"

"Your hair ornament. It's... messed up."

"Oh?" Lan Xichen felt the said accessory and straightened it with a smile to his didi. As he walked out, he turned to his friend. "Wanyin, you were with me all this time–"

"It looked funny, alright? Too funny to spoil," Jiang Cheng smirked as he fast walked ahead of Xichen.

"Oh? Amused are you? Tch, forget it. I'll ask Meilien why she plays with my hair all the time, you're useless," Xichen chuckled as he walked behind his friend to find the mischief-maker. 

**********

"A-Ying?"

"A-Zhan, I'm fine."

"Mn."

"A-Zhan?"

"Mn?"

"Can I hug you for a minute? Just to engrave it into my head that you're right here next to me, not realms away like two years ago."

"Mn."

Lan Zhan cuddled Wei Ying close, drawing circles on his back to lull the other.

"A-Zhan?"

"Mn?"

"Did I scare you?"

Lan Zhan sighed. As if that was even a question. "Mn. A lot."

"Sorry, A-Zhan. I really am sorry," Wei Ying's voice faded into a whisper as Lan Zhan felt his chest growing wetter.

"A-Ying, don't cry. I won't leave you. Pinky promise, remember?"

Wei Ying smiled. "Right. Nor will I leave A-Zhan."

"Mn. When you're done meditating, you'll be right here in my arms."

"Good." Wei Ying pulled back and wiped his tears with a light sniff. "A-Zhan, I'm better."

"Sure?"

Wei Ying grinned. He pushed himself up and kissed Lan Zhan's forehead. "Happy?"

Lan Zhan smiled as he nodded. "Mn. Let's meditate."

Wei Ying nodded his agreement and the two returned to their earlier positions, continuing to finish what they started.

Please, may he not break down again, Lan Zhan prayed as he shut his eyes again.

Sadly, the Heavens just weren't good listeners.