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Insecurities

It was indeed a blessed moment which they all were waiting for a long to see her back to life... Sameer talked to her Doctor in alone updating her recovery... he doesn't want her to get disturb for anymore as Doctor still insisted to keep a close watch on her after whatever emotional trauma, she had gone through... not even in their weird thought they were expecting her to attempt suicide to end all her miseries...

Pandit and Preeti remain with them all the time and tried to lift her mood... restricted by Sameer no one talks with her again about her suicide attempt to make her upset more... she anyways was feeling regret for his impulsive act which hurt them all... after dinner Pandit left with Preeti leaving the couple alone... 

Giving medicine Sameer asked her to take rest since he was suddenly got occupied with some urgent office work... the entire day gives a slight relief to their aching hearts seeing Naina calm and relaxed but still needed rest and lots of care... lost in her thoughts she remain seated there looking at him with slight tensed expressions...

Sameer asked softly, "Naina, what happened... see abhi tumhein rest ki jarurat hai, so no compromise... just go and sleep... abhi tumhein kaam karne ki permission nahin hai... so no argument" he assumes her intention to stay awake with him to help in work like earlier, but he can't allow her to compromise on her health...

Naina lowered her eyes and remain seated there, feeling hesitate to ask... earlier she was used too of sleeping on a separate bed but from last few days after coming back from hospital, she was sharing bed with Sameer... he himself insists her to stay with him and she herself was not in a state to sleep alone...

On a contrary she is extremely comfortable to sleep with him and never wants to let this warmth go away from her but now she is in better health and feels awkward if it's appropriate to share the same bed with him... what if he misunderstood her intention or gets annoyed with her... but there is no other place in the room to sleep... he himself has already moved out her bed from the room...

Sameer couldn't get the reason for her hesitation as she was normal few minutes back and enjoying with all... though she was still not talking much but seems more calmed and in a better mood...

Keeping his laptop aside, he lifts her face in his palms asking, "what happen Naina... kuchh kehna hai... dekho maine kaha tha na tum mujhse kuchh bhi kah sakti ho... apne dil mein yun baat rakhna theek nahin... tum pehle hi bohot kuchh sah chuki ho and now I really can't afford to see you suffering for anything..." he knew she still has insecurities and apprehensions in her mind which needs to be handle with patience...

Seeing him trying to make her so much comfortable she spoke slowly, "voh... mein... I mean aap... voh bed, ek saath..." she feels shy expressing her concern pointing towards the only bed lying in the room... to share the bed with him...

Getting meaning of her words he smirks with a mischievous smile to tease her, "hmm... toh tumhein mere bina neend nahin aa rahi... tum chaaho toh thodi der apne teddy ko pakad kar so jaao... sochna mujhe kas kar gale lagaya hua hai jaise roj lagati ho... aur agar nahin toh lets go... and I know I am much better than your teddy aur mujhe pakad ke sone ki aadat bhi ho gayi hai tumko, so it's okay... mein baaki kaam kal kar lunga... I love to be your personal teddy" he said with serious expression suppressing his laughter seeing her shocked face that how shamelessly he addressed the way she slept with him daily... seems he is back in his teasing mode...

She replied instantly holding his hand to stop, "nahin... voh baat nahin... I mean sorry, mujhe pata hi nahin chala kab neend mein aapke paas aa gayi... I don't know... hum ek saath... kaise" she expects an outburst from him to sleep cuddling into him and seems she really disturb him in night... he might not be having habit to sleep so closely with anyone...

Sameer smiled inwardly seeing her so nervous in asking but remain calm upfront... he knew she has hesitation till they both confess their feelings but couldn't afford to let her be on her own... as per Doctor, she still needs to be monitor closely... especially after her today's act...

Sameer hold her hand softly in his asked, "Naina, don't you trust me..." she shook her head immediately, "no... I mean aisa nahin... mera matlab tha..." she still feels hesitate to express her concern... unable to say that how much comfortable she is and just needed his assurance also...

Sameer replied looking into her eyes with utmost honesty, "sorry mein sirf majaak kar raha tha... look Naina, I am so happy that you are recovering well and feeling much better now but still you need lots of rest and care... and in my condition, its little difficult to manage if you sleep on other bed... and to be honest I can't afford to let you stay away from me... please don't take me wrong... I am just worried about you... and I know my limits, so please trust me"

Naina felt overwhelmed hearing his soft and caring tone... she knew from last so many days he is really taking care of all her needs... be it taking care of her medicines or her diet... he is caring and protecting her like a new-born baby, a delicate fragile doll... how could she refuse his cute request... and no doubts for her he is always be better than teddy to hold in her arms to get a peaceful sleep...

She nodded her head, "sorry I didn't mean that... it's just kahin mein aapko disturb toh nahin karti..." she hesitates to ask if he is comfortable with her sleeping so close to him...

Sameer laughed slowly on her apprehension oblivious of the fact that how much peaceful sleep he had with her, "jee nahin... infact sach kahun toh shayad iske pehle mujhe kabhi itne sukoon ki neend aayi hi nahin... kisi ke saath hone se jo apnapan feel hota hai, that amazing... and thanks for trusting me... ab jaao and take rest... I really need to finish this otherwise mein tumhein akela nahin chhodta... I will join you soon" he said to make her comfortable... she nodded and went to her side of bed... seeing her accepting his request without any further hesitation he smiled taking a sigh of relief...

However, Sameer had taken the first step to succeed her trust, but he still needed to work harder since Naina still hadn't opened up herself to him completely... she still hesitates to share her thoughts with him... but he was sure to make her fall in love with him one day... very soon...

Sameer focused back on his work in hand seeing her sleeping peacefully with no more reluctance... close to an hour he heard her muffled voice in the silence... he closed his laptop instantly and turned to his bed side seeing her slightly shivering and mumbling incoherently... seems scared in her dreams... whatever happened during the day and Vishakha's harsh words must have imprinted on her mind... she seems still struggling with all her fears and harsh blames on her...

Leaving all other thoughts, he quickly climbed into bed and pulled her closely to his side... even in deep sleep feeling him close, she clings into him clutching his hands tightly... caressing her head he tried to awake her, "Naina... what happened... see I am here with you... you don't need to scare any more..." he keeps talking softly with her to sooth her...

Sameer hugged her tightly like he was hugging a very precious treasure... suddenly she didn't feel that lonely and helpless... she felt like at home now... soon her breathing becomes normal, and Sameer remain stays next to her keeping her in his soft hug... feeling the presence of someone close to her, her tense expression began to relax... he just closed his eyes getting relived when heard her soft voice slowly, "thank you..."

He opened her eyes and smiled seeing her looking at him with her cute innocent and pure looks... he caressed her hair softly asking, "aur voh kyun..."

Naina lowering her eyelids asked slowly, "mein sach mein aapko bohot pareshaan karti hoon na..."

Sameer laughed slowly, "aur aisa kisne kaha tumse... infact mujhe lagta hai mein tumhari theek se care nahin kar paata... sorry agar important kaam nahin hota toh mein tumhein akela nahin chhodta..."

Naina shook her head replying, "aisa nahin hai... aap bohot achchhe ho, believe me... I really trust you more than anyone..."

This was indeed a delightful moment for Sameer to hearing her... she had always accepted him with all his flaws... to have someone like her in his life, he felt very guilty and sorry for treating her so badly in their initial days... his nasty behavior was so painful for her and he regret those times when he hurt her and the hurtful things, he had done...

Naina asked suddenly, "ek baat puchhu... kya mein sach mein mentally sick hoon... Sameer mein... mein sach mein paagal nahin hona chahti... I... I really..." tears rolled out from her eyes chocking her voice tightening her grip on his hand showing her tension...

Sameer clenched his jaws cursing under his breath for whatever Vishakha has said intentionally to hurt her... he was trying his best to let her overcome from all her insecurities and giving her assurance of his presence in her life... all his efforts get ruined because of Vishakha's irrational behavior and now Naina was again feeling so insecure... but it was time to make her calm and relax...

Suppressing his anger, he asked softly, "Naina, do you really trust me"

Naina lifted her face instantly nodded her head as doesn't want to let any misunderstanding came between them... she really believed him and trusted most...

Sameer smiled seeing her agreeing said, "toh tumhein lagta hai ki mein kabhi tumse jhuth bol sakta hoon ya mein tumhein kuchh hone dunga... believe me Naina tumhein kuchh nahin hua hai aur tum bilkul theek ho... tum jaanti ho Mrs Maheshwari ka nature kaisa hai... jo apne khud ke bete ke dil ki baat nahin samajh paayi voh tumhein aur mujhe kya samjhengi... voh hamari life mein koi maayane nahin rakhti par chah kar bhi mein unhein iss ghar se dur nahin kar sakta... trust me voh iss laayak nahin ki koi bhi unki baaton par vishwas kare... promise me aaj ke baad kabhi yeh sab baatein apne man mein nahin laaogi jisase tumhari health affect ho..."

Naina's grip on his hand becomes tight, seems she was scared of losing the most precious thing of her life... she nodded slowly her head to promise him to not think much...

Sameer moved his hand to her face, gently tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ears... he knew she was sad, and he suppressed his own sadness to pull her tightly into his embrace to give a comfort feeling to her... his voice was calm and poised, and it made her feel inexplicably safe and secure...

Taking a deep sigh he said, "Naina, tumhein pata hai apne accident ke baad mujhe hamesha se lagta tha ki mein chaahe kitna bhi business mein successful ban jaaun par shayad apni personal life mein fail ho jaaunga... shayad mein kabhi kisi ke liye koi support nahin ban paaunga... sab kuchh paane ke baad bhi yeh ek insecurity hamesha se mujh mein rahi... shayad isi wajah se maine tumhein bhi bohot dukh diya, pareshaan kiya... hamesha taane maare, bura bhala kaha... par tumne bina kisi shikayat ke hamesha mera saath diya, mujhe himmat di, mujhe khud par vishwas dilaya ki mein har rishta aur apni har jimmedari sambhal sakta hoon... tumhara mujh par trust mujhe hamesha encourage karta hai ki mein apni kamiyon se lad sakta hoon, unko jeet sakta hoon..."

Naina lifting her face wiped the lone tear drop from the corner of his eyes said with confidence, "aap aisa kyun sochte hai... aaj aapki wajah se mein zinda hoon... aapne hamesha se mujhe himmat di hai, mushkilon se ladna sikhaya hai... agar aap nahin hote toh shayad mein kab ki toot jaati... maine kabhi baahar ki duniya jyaada nahin dekhi thi isiliye jo bhi mere aas paas the maine unpar hi trust kiya aur hamesha dhokha khaaya... aapne kitna samjhaya mujhe par maine shuru mein aapki bhi nahin suni thi... par phir bhi aapne hamesha mujhe sambhala jab bhi maine dhokha khaaya..."

Sameer smiled looking at her face, "par ab toh tum mere saath ho na... aur agar itna trust hai toh meri iss baat par bhi vishwas karo ki tum bilkul theek ho... tumhein kuchh nahin hua hai... Naina tum dil ki bholi aur masoom ho par iska matlab yeh nahin ki tum kamjor ho... bas tumhein apne dil ko samjhana hoga ki tum kisi se bhi pyaar tabhi kar sakti ho jab khud se pyaar karna seekh jaaogi... agar khud par bharosa hai toh tum duniya jeet sakti ho... aur mein hoon na tumahre saath... vaada karta hoon tumhein kabhi haarane nahin dunga..."

Naina smiled finally with a grateful look, "I trust you... poora..."

Samer kissed on her forehead softly caressing her head, "toh ab so jaao... you need rest... okay..." with a pleased smile on her face she snuggled into his arms and closed her eyes comfortably after getting warmth of the much more needed love in their life...

As the night grew darker, Sameer kept gazing at Naina, who was asleep in his arms... he wasn't willing to let her go at all... from last few weeks, he had always been so fearful and worried that any accident would happen to Naina...

Fortunately, his love and care were finally able to push through the hardship... she had finally stopped torturing herself and made it through... that feeling was like finding a priceless treasure he had won... he was so happy that he couldn't fall asleep, his gaze never leaving the girl he loved the most sleeping besides him...

Sameer didn't avert his gaze from her face whole night seeing her sleeping, cuddling into him like a soft fragile doll... even in deep slumber, she was smiling a little... a smile with a twist to it, like the smile of a child who is determined not to weep... after their heart-to-heart talk which clear her thoughts, her mind seems more relaxed and calmed now...

Early morning, seeing her eyes fluttering he averted his eyes from her face and pretend to be asleep... Naina opened her eyes seeing his calm face... she recalled how much he was stressed seeing her attempting suicide and felt hurt... since the day she knew the reality of her parents and her past, he didn't leave her even for a second... she had been like a puppet without a soul and didn't realize how he had managed to push through that phase... handled her so patiently...

She was lost in her thoughts when heard his teasing tone, "aur kitne der tak aise hi dekhna hai... I don't mind agar tum chaaho toh hum saara din aise hi rah sakte hai..."

She smiled seeing him opening his eyes asking her, "neend aayi theek se... how are you feeling now..."

Her smile gradually faded away recalling Vishakha's harsh words about her mental condition but composing herself she replied slowly, "bohot achhche se... thank you mere saath rehne ke liye..." she decided to behave normal to not to give him any more tensions... she will not show her restlessness to him or others anymore... it's her past and she has to left behind it to move on in her life...

She sits back hesitantly hiding her emotions as doesn't want to hurt him anymore... Sameer understood her inner chaos but didn't pretend and remain calm, "fine... go and get freshen up..."

She stood and left for washroom... Sameer too sits back feeling bad for her... since yesterday though she looks fine but stills lots of recovery are still due... his eyes teared up abruptly thinking how much she was hurt hearing accuses from Vishakha... but not to distress him more she is trying to show everything normal... he laughed mockingly, "tum kitna bhi mujhse chhupa lo lekin ab tumhari aankhen padni mujhe bhi aati hai... tumhari yeh banawati hansi mujhse tumhare dil ka dard nahin chhupa sakegi..."

His attention diverts, getting a call from one of their shareholders fixing an urgent meeting with him...

Naina came out seeing him busy in call and remain stood behind him... she was still totally clueless what to do next... how to handle her messed life... she just needs to be around him only... feeling her presence around he turned to see her standing quietly... he disconnects the call informing her, "sorry Naina, mujhe thodi der ke liye office jaana hoga... it's an urgent meeting... but promise I will be back soon and Preeti is here with you, so..."

Naina interrupt in between asking, "mein bhi chalun aapke saath... I mean yahaan akele..." she hesitates as doesn't know if she is still mentally and physically stable to handle her office work... she doesn't want to make herself burden on him anymore, as from last few weeks he is only taking care of her avoiding his own life...

Sameer agreed instantly, "ya fine... I think it's good for you to join back... mujhe bhi help ho jaayegi... par usase pehle ek jaruri kaam bhool gayi tum..."

Naina looked at him confusingly when he laughed slowly, "apne Kanhaji se milna... kitne dinon se tum ek baar bhi mandir nahin gayi... ab chalein varna der ho jaayegi and I am sure voh bhi tumhein bohot miss kar rahe honge... unki favorite jo ho tum..." he turned to go out without giving her excuse to deny anymore...

He knew after what all happened with her, she is losing all her faith and hopes... even after coming back home from hospital, she never wished to visit temple once... but getting her back to a normal life, it was important for her to come back in her daily routine... and her belief on her Kanhaji...

Without denying Naina followed him and they both left for temple at backside of their house... the moment she reached saw the temple was neatly cleaned and the area was well maintained than before... the walls were painted with vibrant colors and the whole temple was beautifully decorated...

Pulling her back from her trance he asked her to light the diya... she nodded and sits in front of idol when heard Chinni's voice excitedly, "wow Bhabhi, aaj aap bhi aayi ho... mein kabse aapka wait kar rahi thi... roj toh Sameer bhaiya ke saath hi pooja karni padti thi..."

Naina looked at him disbelief when he smiled back replying casually, "haan toh tumhare Kanhaji ko akele kaise chhod deta... jab se ghar vaapas aaye hai maine socha jab tak tumhari tabiyat theek nahin ho jaati maine hi roj diya jala doon... ab tumhari tarah itni achchhi aarti toh nahin aati par jaisa Chinni ne sikhaya maine kar diya..." he said honestly as he had never done any such ritual in his life...

Chinni too grinned widely praising him, "aur kya... maine aapse jo jo seekha tha vaisa hi mein roj batati gayi aur Sameer bhaiya ne bhi sab ek dam se seekh liya... par hum donon roj aapko bohot miss karte the..." she said giving her a side hug...

Naina's eyes gets brimmed thinking how much Sameer is doing for her happiness... though he himself never does pooja and visit mandir ever, but only for her sake he does so... 

Even she noticed how comfortably Chinni has started addressing him as brother whereas earlier she always used to call him chhote Kunwar like others... she loves Chinni from the very first day and always wish her to give a secure feeling of family... now she can even feel the pain of being alone in world same as like Chinni...

Before she thanked Sameer to accept Chinni as his family and give her an elderly love and affection, Pandit and Preeti too joined them and they all complete the pooja together... seeing her reluctant, he didn't force her much to sing aarti like earlier... for Sameer, he was happy to see her coming out from her shell slowly and he is ready to wait till eternity... it seems a new start of their life... together...

Coming back inside house, Naina turned to go towards kitchen as per her earlier schedule when Sameer stops her, "no ways... you are still very weak, and I will not allow you to go in kitchen to tired yourself..."

Pandit too laughed, "aur kya... pata chala Naina Devi ne phir se maha bhog bana diya saare mohalle ke liye" he teased her recalling how always in stress she cooked in wide variety...

Naina tried to persuade him but Sameer refused adamantly and asked her to go and get ready fast... sending her back to room with Preeti, Sameer called the chef and give him menu best of his knowledge which will be good for her health and boost up her mood...

Coming to their study, Pandit asked, "Sameer, tu ne Naina ko office ke liye kyun mana nahin kiya... I mean she is still so weak, and it will be more tiring for her... I know tera uske bina dil nahin lagta but abhi usey ghar par rehna chahiye..." knowing how much restless his friend will be Pandit tried to tease him...

Sameer's expression turned gloomy, "man toh mera bhi nahin tha par jis tarah se usne mujhse puchha mein mana nahin kar paaya... kal Mrs Maheshwari ki baatein suni thi Naina ne... tu jaanta hai Naina ko akele yahaan chhodna theek nahin jab tak voh khud apne aap ko sambhalna nahin seekh jaati phir se... usne kaha nahin par mujhe maloom hai usey abhi bhi lagta hai ki uski wajah se mein apne kaam par focus nahin kar pa raha aur voh mujhe aur pareshaan nahin karna chahti... agar mana karta saath le jaane se toh voh saara din ghar mein akele mujhe yaad karti rehti... aur ghar mein uske saath rehta toh voh aur guilt mein rehti ki uski wajah se I am not going office..."

Pandit was equally angry on Vishakha, "unki baatein hi itni dard dene wali thi ki Naina jaisi saaf dil ki ladki ko toh chot lagni hi thi... agar kal kuchh ho jaata Naina ko toh mein unki jaan le leta, chaahe uske liye mujhe phaansi kyun na ho jaati... aur yeh sab uss chhikali ka kiya dhara hai... saamne aa jaaye toh khoon kar doon uska mein" he was already mad on Kamya to hurt Naina...

Sameer too was feeling hurt for his incapability to save her, "isiliye usey akele ghar mein chhodne ka man bhi nahin ho raha... iss ghar ne hamesha se mujhse meri saari khushiyaan chhini hai aur ab mein Naina ko apne se dur jaate nahin dekh sakta... voh mere paas, mere saath rahe vahi theek rahega... at least jab tak voh poori tarah se theek nahin ho jaati... meri bhi majboori hai ki mein iss ghar ko chhod nahin sakta varna ek pal bhi yahaan nahin rukta jahaan hamesha mujhe aur mere apno ko dard hi mila hai... aakhir wada jo kiya hai maine unse..." he said with a faint smile hiding his pain for staying with Vishakha under one roof for which he hated to the core but helpless to leave...

Pandit too agreed as leaving her alone at home is still not safe for her when Vishakha is always ready to hurt her and Kamya is still finding ways to meet her... it was evident that after Preeti insulted and thrown out Kamya from hospital, she must be the one who inform about Naina and her medical condition to Vishakha and instigate her to insult Naina... though they already instructed guards to not let her come inside the mansion but since now Vishakha is back they cannot take risk with Naina anymore...

Hope you like the update... Next update by Monday...

Enjoy weekend and stay safe 😊

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