Evelyn's POV

Fuck this, it's my birthday party right, people want to play games with me, I'll play. I wipe my tears away and make sure no one is looking as I walk across to the right side of my house making the transition from sand to wood. I walk inside my house through the crowds of people, thanking God for the flashing lights and the dark. I make sure I avoid Ashton and the girls as well as Jax. I make my way to the champagne table and grab a bottle of something much stronger than champagne. I call my old dealer and tell him to bring me a 40 of coke. 

*Long time no see, I knew you'd be back gorgeous*He texts back and I send him my address.

I roll my eyes, grab the handle of liquor, and walk up to my room making sure no one sees me. I take off my blue dress and at that moment I'm thankful for my mom, she almost always gets me two of everything on special occasions. I switch masks into a fully black one and switch into a long black strapless dress that exposes much more of my cleavage, fuck it. I take three huge shots from the bottle of liquor I took, change my jewelry and my shoes, and make my way back to the party, successfully hiding from everyone I was trying to avoid. 

*Baby please, please just let me explain.-Ashton.

*Let you explain what? That everyone was playing some type of sick joke on me? I answer.

*Where are you.*-Ashton. 

*Evelyn, I'm sorry, I'm wasted I don't know what I was thinking-Jax 

*I didn't tell you sooner because I knew it would hurt you, I didn't want you to spiral Evelyn you need to understand where I'm coming from*-Sophie 

I ignore all the text messages except Ashtons. The only thing I needed to understand was that people think they have to walk on eggshells around me, so now I'll give them a reason to. 

*I'm here* My old dealer texts. 

I walk out of the front door thinking no one is looking and see a red Mustang parked amongst the sea of cars in my driveway. I had left the bottle of liquor in my room so the only thing I had in hand was my phone and two twenty-dollar bills. I walk over to the dealer's car and open the passenger door and step in to sit down. 

"Wow, look at you, some party. I thought you went sober, shits too good to stay away from, not even the princess herself could resist." He says with a light chuckle. I roll my eyes once more irritated with everyone and ask him if he's got the Coke or not. He pulls out a baggie full of a white powdery substance. 

"You want to give it a try first?" He asks. I nod my head and he puts a bump of it on my hand by my knuckle. I take a deep breath and say screw it internally, I lower my head and snort it. My ears start ringing, fuck it's some strong shit. My eyes go wide, and I laugh not realizing I just fucked up my clean time. 

"Great doing business with you," I say handing him the money and taking the baggie. Now I really want a cigarette so before I shut the door, I ask him if he can give me a quick ride to the gas station to get a pack. 

- - -

Ashton's POV

"I'm going to assume that you're so fucking drunk right now that you don't know left from right and right from wrong, because if I assume anything else I'm going to beat the shit out of you," I say to Jax as Evelyn takes off.

 I get off the rooftop, giving myself a second to breathe and giving Evelyn a second as well, but now I'm worried leaving her alone wasn't such a good idea. 

She can change dresses, she can change masks, she can change anything, and I'd still recognize her anywhere. I saw her walk out of the front door and just as I had stepped outside, she took off in a random car. I debate getting in my own car and following her, I finally choose to just wait for her in the driveway.

 I see the car pull up again, she steps out of the vehicle and whoever is in it drives off, leaving. I see her smoking a cigarette as she leans on one of the guest cars. I see her bend down to grab something she dropped, I take a few steps closer, and is that what I fucking think it is? No, there's no fucking way I'm letting her do that to herself. But as soon as I start making my way towards her, she starts walking around the side of the house. Where is she going??

"Evelyn!" I yell, but this only makes her walk faster, and now I'm running after her. 

She goes inside the house through the side door she snuck me in through the week that I got into a fight at the mall. When I try to open the door, it's locked. She fucking locked me out. I run back inside the house through the front doors, running to where that bathroom is and this side of the door is locked as well. Damn it, I slam my hand on the door. 

"Baby don't do this right now, please. You gotta let me in Evelyn. I'm begging you." I plead.

 Nothing. No answer. I put my head against the door. "Please, Evelyn don't shut me out."

 I go back out through the front door walking towards the side of the house to the bathroom she's in again but through the outside this time so that if I have to slam into the door to open it, I don't scare anyone at the party. 

I push my ear to the door and say "Evelyn, if you don't open the door, I swear I'll knock it down." I slam into it one time, the worst things going through my head. But then I hear the door unlock. She's sitting there just crying into her knees on the floor. My heart breaks, and for a second, I'm reminded of the pain my brother must have felt when he was alive and crying out for help, and even then there were still people who chose to ignore the signs, I'm not ignoring this one.

I kneel down beside her and move her hair out of her face, I put her face in my hands kissing her forehead. I spot the baggie of blow next to her; I grab it and flush it down the toilet. 

"I'm sorry, I fucked up again. All I ever do is fuck everything up." She cries. I carry her into my arms and make my way upstairs to her bedroom, I close her door and lay her on the bed. 

"You're human, shit happens. I'm sorry for not telling you what Jax had told me sooner but babe please, I'm sure Sophie meant well too, we were all scared." I say, I pull at the ribbon behind her head so that her mask falls on her lap.

 I start taking off her heels, and her stockings. She looks at me with so much emotion in her eyes it almost tears me apart. I take off my shoes and my mask and lay right next to her, she cuddles into my body placing her hand on my chest. All I wanted to do was show her that she could really trust me and that if I kept something from her it was more to protect her from something that could hurt her. That's what I tell her, and she looks up so that I'm looking down at her face. 

"I'm such an idiot." She whispers. 

Rubbing her fingertips on my chest as her fingers sneak under my button-down shirt and touch my skin. I shudder as I feel her touch. I groan internally needing more of it. I think she noticed how I had shuddered and the way my eyes turned dark because she shifted her weight on her hands that are now leaning on the bed. 

It had been almost a month, and this was the first time we were lying on a bed together like this. She licks her lips and starts tracing kisses along my neck and down my chest. She kisses me hungrily, straddling me now and fumbling with the buttons of my shirt trying to undo them. I place my hand on her cheek and another right below her waist and sit up while she's on top of me, kissing her back with the same amount of intensity. We're both breathing so heavily it seems as if we don't get any closer to each other we might just lose oxygen. As if we were each other's lifelines. She pushes me back down so that I'm lying on my back again and I run my fingers through my hair suddenly conflicted about whether I should stop her or not. 

"I want you." She whispers. I want her just as bad but this can't happen right now, I won't let it happen right now. She starts undoing my belt and pulling my zipper down. I curse at her choice of timing and right as she's about to go down I stop her.

"What is it?" She asks, frowning. 

"You're not sober, you're wasted and on coke. I don't want us to do anything until I'm sure you're making that decision completely clear-headed." I whisper, and she rolls her eyes. 

"Babe I was really drunk; the coke is what woke me up. I want to do this, I want you."

I shake my head reluctantly, "I'm not letting you do anything high off coke, whether you feel sober, you're not. Trust me. Come, come here, Eve." I say pulling her to me. She sighs and is straddling me again. I put my hands on her hips, admiring her for a moment. 

"The mistake you made tonight, doesn't take away all the progress you've made. I need you to know that, I need to know you believe that. The second thing is, Evelyn I'd let you suck me dry anyway, anytime, anywhere if that's what you wanted but I won't let you do it high off anything. I want you more than you can imagine and I'd protect you from anyone and anything, including yourself." I say, more serious than a heart attack. 

That's when I see tears welling up in her eyes and I realize she's probably never had anyone she's felt this safe around in years. I kiss her soft lips and even though I can taste whatever she is drinking I kiss her again and again. 

She sighs getting off of me. "I dated this guy two years ago, it didn't last more than four months. I was doing really bad at this point in my life. I was like a hurricane, ruining everything that came in between the drugs and I. I'm honestly surprised the girls didn't stop talking to me during that time. I would scream at my parents, they would find baggies and pills in all of my books, and that's where I would hide them. Every time I went to rehab my mom would go through each book and clean them out so I could come back home and not relapse just because I left the drugs in between the pages of a book and didn't remember." She explains.

 "She would break her own heart each time, finding something I left behind every time I tried to get better." She says this is her finally opening up to me. 

I listened intently, looking into her eyes as she spoke so she knew I was all ears. She shook her head, rubbing her eyes regretfully at the memory. 

"I was so messed up this one night, we had been getting fucked up together for four months, drinking too much, doing too much coke, doing too many opiates. He loved that shit, he didn't care that it was killing me. We hadn't been with each other in that way yet, I hadn't slept with him because the reality of it was that I never loved him. The drugs were the only thing keeping us together. I was so high one night I don't even remember how I got to his house when I woke up in the morning, all I know is I woke up naked and hurting in the worst way. I felt so dirty. I left him that day, didn't wait for him to wake up, just sent him a text saying it was over and calling him a rapist. That's what he was." She explained, a single tear falling down her cheek. 

Suddenly I felt like throwing up, I was full of rage and felt my teeth grinding against each other. My nails were digging into the palms of my hands from how tight I was clutching my fists. I didn't look away from her though, she had broken eye contact but I wanted her to know I would never turn away from her, not even when things got ugly. 

"I can imagine that's how the rumors started didn't they?" I ask. She nods, giving me a fake smile. 

"Yeah Ashton, he didn't like that I called it how it was and decided he was going to try and ruin me before the truth could get around. I'm guessing that was his train of thought." 

I shake my head, that's not fucking fair. 

"Does your brother know?" I ask her, turning her gaze to me gently. She sucks in her bottom lip trying to hold back her tears. 

"No," She whispers. "He knows that the rumors were being spread but he didn't know who started them. So he would just end up fighting whoever dared to say it around his range of hearing. No matter how much I begged him to stop fighting, he wouldn't"

That's completely understandable, considering I would probably kill this fucking guy if I ever saw him. No, not probably I know I would do some serious damage. 

"Thank you, for being you. For being kind and gentle with me, even when I'm way in over my head." She says giving me a sad smile. 

That's when I realized I was falling for this girl, and I would do anything to protect her. She stands up and starts walking towards her bathroom but before I let her walk away I grab her hand and stand up as our lips collide. It makes sense as to why she would try to erase the memory of what happened to her in such a loveless situation with me, I think she knows I would do anything to help her feel safe. 

"I really care about you, please don't ever scare me the way you did tonight ever again. Just talk to me first, before anything come to me. Ask me anything before jumping to conclusions. Because you really scared me for a second there." I say holding her. 

"I promise." She says, hugging me back tightly. "Do you want to stay over tonight? We can just lay here together, sleep together, wake up together?" She asks suddenly excited. My heart swells with joy at the thought. I raise my eyebrows, "Your parents won't mind?" I ask. 

"Sadie's staying in my brother's room tonight. Plus, it's still my birthday and they know we've been seeing each other. I don't think they'd mind but I'll ask my mom through a text anyways." She smiles. 

- - -  

Her mom ended up being fine with it, so of course I'm staying the night. Evelyn ended up messaging all the girls apologizing for running off like that except Sophie. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't want to speak about it anymore, and that she would figure it out tomorrow. 

I still didn't know how to feel or what to say to Jax, the fact it would even cross his brain to say that Evelyn shouldn't be with me, the way he yelled at her, it left me dumbfounded. I didn't mention it to Evelyn though I just wanted to focus on her being okay tonight. She never ended up going to the bathroom after we kissed because I had pulled her on the bed after her mom had agreed to let me stay the night. We laughed like teenagers and made out, we played there together talking about lighter subjects like how my internship was going, etc. I could tell she was sobering up now. 

"Why don't you go take a shower and change, I want you to be comfortable," I whisper to her, I could see the goosebumps on her forearm forming as I finished that sentence. I see her lips parting, and it takes every ounce of self-control to be a man of my word and not let her touch me like that tonight. Even though I know she's sobering up I can't just assume she's completely clear-headed. 

Evelyn gets up from beside me and walks over to her dresser, I see her pick out this baby blue, lace, tube top and matching lace bottoms and my heart immediately starts racing. She looks over her shoulder, smirking. My God, this girl. I throw my head back, crossing my arms not amused like she is because I'm so conflicted right now. 

"Do you mind unzipping me?" She asks sweetly. 

I take a deep breath, and make my way over to her, swallowing the excess saliva in my mouth. I'm standing behind her in front of the mirror next to her dresser. I'm looking at her through the mirror as she moves her long hair to one side. I begin zipping her dress down until it opens up all the way down right above her tailbone. I look up at her once more through the mirror. Then I remember I haven't even given her, her present. 

"I have something for you," I say, not taking my eyes off of the mirror. She smiles softly. 

"Tell me," She says barely above a whisper. 

I take out the necklace I've been holding in my pocket this whole night. It's a thin, gold necklace with a heart-shaped locket. Inside the heart it has the date of the night I met her and on the other side of the heart it's a small picture of us from the night I took her to the movies, I show her the inside and she inspects the heart locket and closes it back up, looking amazed at the ruby in the middle of the heart. She turns around holding one arm across her dress so it doesn't fall. 

"It's beautiful I love it Ash, I love-" I kiss her, not knowing how that last word was going to finish or what it was going to be, I think I got scared of the possibility of what she could have said. Don't be a little bitch Ashton, I think internally. 

"Want me to shower with you?" I whisper, seeing the light come back in her eyes the second the liquor and the coke wear off. There she is. I hated seeing the look in her eyes when she was fucked up, it's like the girl I knew wasn't even there anymore. But here she was again, and I wanted her to stay forever. 

Her cheeks got the lightest shade of pink once the question left my mouth and that was just another confirmation that she was back to herself. I grinned and picked her up wrapping her legs around my waist. 

"There she is," I whispered. 

She laughs that gorgeous laugh of hers and cocks her head to the side. Her dress starts falling revealing her strapless black lace bra. Someone sure does like lacy things. I have a feeling I'll like them on her too. 

I walk her over to the shower while she's wrapped up in me and kiss her, I kiss her hard because it scared me half to death the way she reacted tonight. I kissed her because I missed the person she was for the hour she wasn't. I turn on the water not knowing if I put it all the way hot or all the way cold. 

I put her down for half a second and she lets her dress fall to her ankles as she throws her hands around my neck. I wrap her around me once more and she jumps on me with such force, that now we're both under freezing water. A moan escapes her lips, and I don't know if it's because we're so heated by the moment that we don't even mind the freezing water all over us. 

I run my hands all over her body feeling the lace on my hands, feeling something new, something in my heart beating differently, something I never knew.

*I hope the readers that have gotten to this chapter continue to interact with the book <3 I am extremely educated on the disease of addiction and it is a sensitive topic for a lot of people as well as for me. I hope you guys comment and vote if you guys like it so far and leave your thoughts of whatever parts of it in the comments. ily-ingryd