Evelyn's POV 

I had been attending meetings about three times a week. The guys offered to go with me, but I told them it was fine, this was my problem, and they couldn't get clean for me. I had been sober for about two weeks now, the cravings subsided more and more each day. The days after the detox were the toughest with the cravings but that's when I would drive myself to a meeting without a second thought. 

"You ready to go on this trip tomorrow?" Gianna asked actively, her big green eyes engaging with my own. I smiled softly at her, raising my eyebrows and fiddling with the folded letter in my hands.  

"Yeah, I guess," I said faintly. Gianna chews her lower lip and runs a slim finger across my cheek. 

"What's wrong Eve?" She asks delicately. I let out a burned-out sigh before facing her. 

"I miss Sophie, I'm happy she's in love and everything but I feel like we never have enough time together anymore. On top of that, I'm kind of worried about going on a trip with Ashton, I don't want my feelings to contradict my words." I exhale. 

Gianna walks over to my mirror and starts fixing her black locks, she looks at me through the mirror as I sit on my floor with my legs crossed. 

"So come to the bonfire tonight, she'll be there! Plus, Ashton isn't the only one going on the trip you'll have Jax and I too. I know you're sad that Sophie and Sadie aren't coming but think about all the food we're going to try, all the shopping we're going to get to do!" She squeals, I give her a lazy smile and nod my head. 

"Let's text the girls to come over right now, so we can get ready for the bonfire together, just like we used to." She says grabbing her phone. 

I look down at the letter in my hand signed by Jax, I haven't read it yet and truthfully, I'm a bit anxious about what it could say so I stand up and place it in my drawer for later. 

- - - 

Night fell fast and thankfully so did my anxiety. The nights were getting warmer, and the days started to feel like last summer. The summer I fell in love, that was long gone now. Or so I thought. Sadie and Sophie were now in the room with Gianna and me, Sophie was asking me all types of questions about the meetings I'd been to, and I gave her a vague explanation. 

"The people are inviting, I found two good meetings I like. They help, but enough about me! How are you and Cole??" I ask eagerly. Sophie's face turns bright red at the mention of Cole's name. 

"Oh Eve, he's just fucking dreamy, and the sex my gosh the sex is just insane. We have this chemistry that is just polluted with tension, in the best way. Anyways, I really wish I was going on that trip with you." She says softly. 

"I know, I miss you a lot Soph," I tell her, she frowns a little before hugging me and talking into my shoulder. 

"I promise when you come back, we'll have sleepovers like we used to, okay?" She promises. 

I hold her for a moment and nod my head, feeling better knowing I have something to look forward to when I get back home. 

Sophie helps me up and I see Sadie looking out of my window and an orange-like flame dancing in the reflection. The bonfire must have started already, I fiddle with my fingers nervously. Cole, Jax, Ashton, and Damien were for sure there already.

"Okay ladies, are we ready to go downstairs??" Gianna asked, finishing her eyeliner. We all nod in unison, and I take a quick look at myself in the mirror. 

You could see the color back in my face now, my under eyes weren't that faded purple they were while I was using. My eyes looked brighter and cheerful. I didn't look like The Walking Dead anymore. 

- - - 

Sophie ran the fastest downstairs and I chuckled and rolled my eyes at her, she was speeding towards Cole who embraced her tightly as she jumped on him. The action seemed so intimate, I had to look away. They seemed great together, Sophie's dark hair and Cole's blonde hair contrasting each other. She was good for him, he was so much more focused on his future now that he was with her, that's what she had told me. 

I look around awkwardly, the warmth of the fire mingling with the slight breeze in the air. I see Jax walking up to me, and Ashton nowhere in sight. That's strange considering where one is, the other isn't far. Jax had a high-reaching figure, his shadow getting to me before him. I ponder on the unstated tension that happens subsequently after we spot one another across a room. 

Is he going to ask me about the letter? I was high-strung about it, I looked away from his unfaltering gaze and diddle with the hem of my loose, white dress trying to distract myself from his vision. It was hard to not want to continue looking in his direction. I see Gianna take a peek at us but so does Sadie as she gives me a little wink. 

The girls knew the friendship with Jax, and I was a convoluted subject, it was full of complexity. Sometimes I could read what was written all over his face, sometimes I couldn't. Regardless, he was always there. 

Jax smiled smugly, making his one dimple appear. I exhaled and gave him a small smile back as my eyes met his. He pulls me into a soft hug and pulls away after a couple of seconds, he offers me a cigarette and I take it. 

"Did you get a chance to read the letter, Eve?" He inquired, his voice with a slight rasp sending chills down my arms. I move my tongue to one side of my cheek as I think of what to say and my eyes pull away from his dark gaze. 

"I- I want to read it when I'm alone and well I was with the girls," I say slowly. The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly, he continued to take a drag from his cigarette as he looked away from my face and back to the water, and then back to me once more.  

"That's fair, well just don't take too long to read it." He utters patiently, the cigarette smoke escaping his lips. 

I had thanked him endlessly as well as Ashton, for helping me get through my detox. The fact they even cared that much meant so much to me and they stayed with me the whole time. People aren't like that anymore; they say they care but when things get ugly they're the first ones to run away as fast as possible. Throwing their hands up and saying, 'That's not my problem.'

Fucking pieces of shit, there is barely any humanity left in this world, so when I see some of it around, I cling to it. 

- - - 

We were an hour into the bonfire and Ashton still hadn't shown up, I bit my tongue so I wouldn't ask Jax why. I sat down next to him on a huge wooden log in front of the fire, my parents had surprised us all with about four of them and placed them around the fire pit for us, so we would have somewhere to sit out here. 

I stared at Jax for a moment, taking in his features. His short goatee, his impeccable skin, and the cheeky grin that he'd flash me whenever our eyes met. Jax was easy to be around, was I?

"We're going to have a great time in Spain you know that right" He affirmed. I glanced at his singular dimple and bit the inside of my cheek as his eyes searched mine for a contradicting thought. 

I nod my head and agree with him, glancing away quickly as if looking away would erase the confusion in my head. What the hell was I even so confused about? We were friends, plus he already slept with me that one time so, I'm sure he's not interested in being anything more than the friend he is. 

The crash of the waves going against the shore was one of my favorite sounds. Jax and I sat there in mutual silence, Cole and Sophie were making out by the water. Gianna and Sadie were talking to Damien in their little world. It felt like Jax, and I were constantly in our own personal bubble of tension, even if it was one-sided tension. 

"Did I tell you? About that girl?" Jax looks at me in an urged manner, his face lighting up. I stare at him flatly for a moment. 

"A girl? What girl?" I ask him, my nose crinkling.

"This semester, the one we just finished. I had a philosophy class and this girl with strawberry, blonde hair- I would always catch her looking at me, you know? So, I got her phone number one day once class finished and I'm thinking about asking her out. I haven't even talked to her yet, but I figured 'why not?' right?" He revealed this with a delighted grin. 

This is the part where, as a good friend I would act absolutely over the moon that he's putting himself out there. That's fucking awesome Jax - is what I should say. But instead, I just feel this lousy static in my mind. What a peculiar thing jealousy is, it's like a critter that doesn't stop bugging you, if only you could kill it with a smack.

Jax is now studying my face with a lopsided grin and squinted eyes. I attempt to change the vacant look on it.

"That's...so awesome for you!" I say, immediately regretting how sarcastic my words came out. 

He folds his bottom lip into his mouth, taken back by my reaction and as if the timing couldn't be more perfect, I see Ashton walking over to us. 

"What took you so long to get here man?" Jax pokes at Ashton. 

Ashton's eyes study the distance between Jax and me and his jaw twitches, but I pretend I don't see it. I involuntarily slid away from Jax just enough to create a bit of more distance between us. 

"I have shitty news," Ashton exclaims, grabbing everyone's attention. Gianna takes a seat by me to hear what the 'news' is. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, Ashton's eyes meet mine and they're apologetic. 

"So, I fucked up the bookings for Spain, BUT it's okay because I booked us all the next flight to Costa Rica!" He says cheerfully and apologetically all at the same time. 

We burst out laughing for a moment, aside from the bit of disappointment I had, we couldn't complain since Costa Rica was probably just as beautiful. 

"Costa Rica is a lot more different than Spain, but I'll take it." Jax reasoned, shaking his head slightly. 

"You're an idiot Ash." Cole snorted. 

"What time are we leaving?" Gianna asks, eyes darting between us. 

"At 5 in the morning," Ashton responds. 

I throw my head in my hands and groan loudly; I despise waking up early. Jax proceeded to ask Ashton if he booked the hotel, and I started contemplating how strange it was to be going on a trip with my ex-boyfriend and our now mutual friends. 

- - - 

At around 10:30 pm, we started wrapping our conversations up and my brother showed up to see Sadie. 

"Hey, you get any more of those weird text messages?" Ashton asks, gazing down at me. 

I avoid making eye contact with him and our arms accidentally brush against each other, making my head spin. He's too close for comfort, I remember when the only comfort I found was in his arms. 

"Um-nope not today, maybe they finally got bored," I mutter.

"What? you can't look me in the eye now?" He asks, which catches me completely off guard. 

This bothers me, so I purposefully look at him and his eyes remind me of every sunset I've ever seen. I can almost see the way we used to be in them. I exhale deeply and I see his Adam's apple move up and down. 

"Eve-," 

"Let's get some sleep, we're going to need it. Having to wake up that early is not something I have processed just yet." I say, cutting him off. 

Ashton looks away, looking down at the sand and I can see his teeth grinding against each other. It's for the best, I could hear it in his voice. The hope he still had for us, the conversation I wasn't ready to have with him. Now that I thought about it, maybe we'd never have that conversation. Maybe one day he'd realize that there was no hope for us left. 

But did I know that?

- - -

My alarm rang and I woke up in a sheer panic from sleep paralysis, this would happen to me. The guys had gone to their house to pick up their suitcases. They brought them over to my house so that when we woke up we could all just Uber to the airport together. 

"Rise and Shine baby, we are going to motherfucking Costa Rica today!" Gianna exclaims, putting a cup of coffee in my face.

"Ugh, I freaking adore you," I mumble, taking a small sip. The scent of coffee filled my nose, I closed my eyes for a mere second just inhaling it. 

"I love you, we are going to have such a splendid time, get up and get ready so we can get out of here." She says, kissing me on the cheek.

I chuckle and start getting out of bed, placing the mug of coffee on my night table. I brush my teeth, put my hair in a basic messy bun, and start throwing on some leggings and a light blue tank crop top. I can imagine it's going to be insanely hot when we get there. 

The guys and Gianna had breakfast with my parents and me. I enjoyed eating with all of them, it was like we were one big family. Plus, they had woken up this early just to hug me goodbye, my brother and Sadie were still sleeping. Jax kept glancing at me, and Ashton was just dead-set staring at me. I avoided both of their gazes and focused on my food and my parents.

"God, you guys are going to have such a great time. Honey, remember when we went to Costa Rica in our 30's?" My mother boasted, looking at my father longingly. He gives her a sweet smile before turning his attention back to his plate. 

"It's beautiful but I'm warning all of you right now. You will sweat quite a lot." My father laughs. 

"Yeah, that's expected, John," Gianna says, shaking her head. My mother laughs and pinches my dad's cheek. 

Once we were done eating, we said our goodbyes to my family and went on our way. The Uber ride consisted of Gianna and I singing along loudly to the songs on the radio, even our driver had joined in. The boys simply shook their heads while trying not to laugh.

- - -  

Once we hopped on the plane I got the window seat, and Gianna sat next to me. I gazed outside before falling asleep because 5 am was way too early. 

We arrived about four hours later, once we got off the plane Gianna squeezed my arm so hard, but I couldn't even feel the pain, I was that excited. Being somewhere completely new just brought about this feeling of endless possibilities, I'd indulge in that feeling for as long as I could.

We had grabbed our suitcases and were waiting for our driver to come take us to our hotel. I wondered nervously if Ashton had gotten the sleeping arrangements correctly since he fixed everything up so last minute. Ashton and Jax are laughing at each other as well as fighting over where we're going to have dinner tonight. 

"Is anyone here a picky eater?" Jax asks, looking at us in the backseat. 

"I literally eat anything, I can't speak for anyone else, but I am not a picky eater at all," I affirm cheerfully. Ashton peaks at me, a gentle smile on his face as he looks back out of the window.

"By the time night falls, I'll be ready to eat pretty much anything," Gianna exclaims, sitting tightly in between Ashton and me. 

- - - 

We enjoyed the drive to the hotel which was pretty far from the airport since our destination was in a specific, little tourist town. It was breathtaking, so much greenery, and where our hotel was, it was right by the water. There were beautiful women in skimpy outfits laughing, eating, and drinking in this outside bar by the ocean. There were gorgeous men in their swim trunks, looking as lively as ever. 

When we got to the hotel, we were escorted to our designated rooms and treated with such hospitality, I appreciated that. But there was a slight issue in the design. The boys decided to come with Gianna and me to check out our room first, it didn't matter since they were right next door. We were told that the hotel was at full capacity, so the staff had told us that they hoped we liked the arrangements and that they could not be changed if different, unfortunately. 

"Why is there only one queen-sized bed? And why is there an envelope with Jax's name and mine?!" I ask, completely bewildered gaping at Ashton. 

"What the fu-" Ashton starts to say as he snatches the envelope from my hands to inspect it, I can tell Gianna is trying to hold back her laughter and Jax looks stressed out. He had a hand on his forehead and his mouth had turned into a set line. 

"I didn't do this. I put you in a two-bed with Gianna and I put myself in a two-bed with Jax?" Ashton says annoyance in his tone. I smack my forehead and look at Jax and Gianna. 

"I mean it's not like we'll get in trouble for switching right? Gianna just stay with me in the room?" I say asking her, as if she'll decline. 

"Wait does Ashton's room have two beds or just one?" She asks, frowning. 

I look at her dumbfounded at this point and we make our way over next door to see if Ashton has two beds or not. 

"Oh, I'm staying in this room it does have two beds, Eve come on please you know my back hurts when I don't have enough space in bed which is why when we have sleepovers, most of the time I stay in your guest room!" She begs. 

I stand there awkwardly for a moment; Ashton has a look of irritation on his face directed at Gianna and Jax seems indifferent about the whole situation. 

"Don't beg, for the love of God. I personally don't mind, whatever will make you more comfortable. Once I'm asleep, I am good." I put my hands up in surrender and walked back over to my room. 

"Alright well, how about we get settled in? Let's take a nap, and when we wake up we'll shower and then go get ready to have dinner?" I suggest, looking at everyone and making sure we all agree on the plans. 

Ashton's jaw is locked tightly, and his body language is closed off, but he nods his head slowly in agreement. Jax nods his head as well and walks back over to the room with me. We shut the hotel room door behind us, and I took a minute to inspect the room. 

The inside of it is decorated with a huge mirror with the edges covered in a variety of seashells, it was gorgeous. The queen bed is in the middle of the room by the white wall, white sheets, and a light blue comforter on top of it with a couple of white and blue decorative pillows. The floors were wooden and light, the room then split into a hallway that led to the bathroom which of course had a blurred-out glass, a slightly see-through shower space with an open wall for the illusion of privacy. At least the bathroom had a door. 

The room opened up after the hallway and led to a small lounging space that led to the balcony. Luckily, we had a view of a jungle-like beach, so that's different. I then spotted a small monkey and jumped, I called Jax's name excitedly. 

"JAX! JAX THERE'S A MONKEY LOOK!" I yelled, elated at the fact that I saw a cute monkey.

I hear Jax's little jog behind me and point to the monkeys from our balcony. I look at him and he's clearly amused, but I don't know if he's more amused about my reaction or the monkey. 

"That is actually a really cute monkey, and this view is insane." He snickered, his grin light. 

I walk back over by the bed and hear his footsteps shortly follow, remembering what he had said at the bonfire last night about the girl he wanted to start talking to. I fidget with my fingernails until he stops behind me as if he knew I wanted to say something. 

"Jax I'm sorry if this isn't convenient or if it's weird for you. I can always try to convince Gianna to come to sleep with me if you know-" I announced quietly, a little embarrassed. He stood there for a second studying my hands and the way I kept playing with my fingers. 

"Evelyn, it's all good. It's not weird or inconvenient just don't get any ideas." He smirks as he begins taking off his shoes and jumps on the bed. 

My eyes go wide, and I scoff, gawking at him. 

"I'm joking, relax." He chuckles, his dimple taunting me again. 

He grabs one of the decorative pillows and throws them at me and I cackle at the way he missed because of my swerving skills. 

"You do not want to have a pillow fight with me, trust" I laugh. He smashes his face into the pillow his head was on and gives me a muffled "noooo," 

I shake my head grinning and decide to go back to the balcony in hopes that he falls asleep first so I can be left alone with my thoughts for a little before I too fall asleep. I wonder if Ashton's okay with this whole arrangement, he's a super jealous guy so I know a part of him was bothered. But then again, it's been months and months since we broke up. 

I just wonder if he feels something still because frankly, I have no idea how I personally feel.

- - -

***I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, sorry I haven't been as consistent lately I've had some stuff going on. Anyways, I love yall and I'll catch up on my reading lists asap. Let me know what you guys think<3***-ingryd