I was all about the drive to school; I had never really learned to drive stick myself, I guess it take more hand-leg coordination than I was capable of so shifting gears for Colt was sort of a thrill; it wasn’t until we actually pulled up in the parking lot that I really thought about riding to school with him. I didn’t miss all the looks and whispers from the people around us as I got out of his car; I’m sure the automatic assumption was that we were sleeping together, I mean why else would he drive me to school? I didn’t want to think about what they were all talking or thinking about so I gave Colt a quick thank you before rushing off by myself into the school.

          I quickly grabbed the needed books from my locker and for the first time in my life I found myself the first person in the classroom for first period; I was never one to rush to class but I found myself slightly embarrassed at what the other students might of thought of me and didn’t want to stick around to hear about it. By the time science class rolled around I was back to my normal self; it seemed that no one was talking about my arrival this morning so I must have just over thought the whole situation, figures, damn female brain. Colt was already seated when I walked in and greeted me with a smile when I took my seat; it was still just weird, this whole being civil with each other thing, I wondered if I would ever get used to it.

“So I haven’t seen Sam hanging around lately.” Was the first thing he said to me once I was seated.

“Yeah…” I said carrying out the word; where was he going with this?

“Are you two, uh, fighting or something?” He asked spinning his pen back and forth between his fingers like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“I thought that we already covered this, Sam and I are not a couple.” I let out a sigh of frustration, was he ever going to give up on this whole me and Sam thing?

“Oh, right. So, uh, what are you doing after school?”

“Homework, making dinner, and then our tutoring session.” I didn’t really mean to be short with him, but he had kind of got on my nerves with the whole Sam thing; we had already gone over this once and I just didn’t understand why he keeps pushing the issue.

“So what are you making me for dinner?” He asked looking over at me for with a big smile.

“I’m not making anything for you, last time I made you dinner I couldn’t get you to leave.” I said shoving his shoulder lightly.

“What you didn’t like waking up to this handsome face?” And there goes the cockiness!

“To be honest you were drooling, on my pillow might I add, so I don’t see how that translates to handsome; lets not forget about the snoring that kept me up most of the night.” It was a lie, I didn’t hear him snoring until I came out in the living room but he didn’t need to know that; the drooling however, well lets just say I will have to wash that pillow case tonight.

“You still made me breakfast so it couldn’t have been that much of a turn off.”

“It was the polite thing to do.” I replied; before he got a chance to say anything back the teacher walked in and started the lesson.

          After school was out I walked out in the parking lot and searched for my car; there was a good thirty seconds of complete panic before I remembered that I rode with Colt that morning. I was cursing myself for that as I started walking across the parking lot so that I could walk home but Colt called out for me when I got by his car and motioned me over so that he could drive me. The drive home was in silence but it wasn’t awkward it was actually a really comfortable silence and I was happy for that. When I got out I expected him to drive away but he cut the engine and walked to the door with me; when we reached the door I turned around to ask him what why he followed but ended up running straight into his chest, wow, I didn’t think he was that close behind.

          I was temporarily at a loss for words as I took a few steps back from him to regain my balance; I looked up and his eyes were locked with mine, he had a look in them that I had never seen before, something like hunger, maybe lust? I didn’t have much time to question it as before I could really even think his hand snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him while the other moved up to brush some of my hair away from my face. My mouth went to open to say something, to protest, but before words could come out his lips crashed down on mine; my body reacted on impulse as my lips started to move against his.

          What started as a soft sensual kiss was quickly turning into something much more, something fierce; one hand gripped my waist as the other tangled itself in my hair. My own hands finding their way to the back of his neck and shoulder; it was like some unknown force just took over my body and controlled every movement. I don’t know how long we stood on my pouch making out before reality finally set in and I realized exactly what I was doing; I pulled away from the kiss breathlessly and pushed him back away from me.

“Colt…” I started not really knowing where to go from there. I couldn’t do this it was just wrong; he was everything that I had tried so hard to stay away from my whole life, being with him would only lead to me getting hurt in the end.

“Haley.” He repeated taking a step closer to me only for me to take another step back.

“We can’t do this.” I said looking at the ground; I didn’t even have the courage to look up at him.

“Why not?” He asked reaching for my hand but I pulled away.

“Because I can’t be with someone like you.” I couldn’t find any other way to put it other than to just be blunt; I wasn’t going to lie to him, he deserved to know the truth.

“What do you mean someone like me?” He asked I could tell that he was offended by my words.

“The way that you are, the things that you do, the way that you treat people. I can’t be with some jock that only cares about himself and the next person that he’s going to get in his bed. I can’t be with someone whose ego is more important than anything else; someone who has a different cheerleader hanging off him every other week. I don’t want to get myself hurt I know that is all that would come out of this if I let it happen.” I said finally looking up at him in the end; the look on his face was pure anger, I had never seen him that upset before.

“If that’s what you think of me then you are completely wrong! Are you fucking blind or something? Do you automatically just throw someone into that category because they play football? You have this whole picture laid out in your mind of what I am supposed to be and you’re so set on that being the real me that you’re actually blind to the truth. You know I actually thought that you were different than any other girl I have ever met, that you actually had a heart and cared for the people around you; turns out that maybe I was just as blind as you are.” His anger was clear in every word as I let them sink into my brain; was I really that blind, was he really not like the other jocks?

          My mind didn’t seem to be working properly as all the things he said swirled around in my brain like a tornado; I tried to sort it all out so that I would know what to say back to him but all I was doing was drawing blanks.

“Goodbye Haley.” He said breaking my out of my little trance and with those last words he walked down the steps and back to his car; the roar of the engine the only thing breaking the silence that hung think in the air.

          I stood on the porch stuck in the same exact spot as I listened to the sound of Colt shifting gears as he made his way down the road; soon the sound of the engine faded away until I was left once again in complete silence. Turning around I walked into the house and shut the door before leaning my back on it and sliding down to the ground; I placed my head in my hands as I tried to think about what just happened. I couldn’t help but question myself if maybe I was wrong; was what I thought about Colt the truth or a complete lie; was I lying to myself about the type of person he was?

          I rubbed my temples as I tried to think back on what I really knew about Colt Stevenson; was he the stereotypical person that I just accused him of being? Did he really treat people badly? I had never seen him bully anyone; he was rude to me when we first met, but he never really treated me badly, pre say. Was he really the typical jock that only thought about his ego? Sure he thought highly of himself; I mean why wouldn’t he, he’s hot and smart, but did he really brag about it, no. Was he sleeping around with different women? Come to think about it I haven’t seen him with any of the girls at school; sure they hung all over him like he was made of gold, but I never really seen him return the same attention to them.

          Shit! I was completely wrong about Colt wasn’t I! God, how could I be so stupid? I had finally met a really nice guy, well maybe not that nice, but he was nice enough; not to mention he was hot, not just your every day hot either, more like just looking at him makes me want to drool type of hot and I had screwed it all up. How could I even say the things that I said to him without thinking it over first? How would I even get him to forgive me for that; would he ever forgive me?

          What was wrong with me and my emotions? Last week I though that I couldn’t stand him, two days ago I thought that maybe we could become friends or something close at least, and now, well now, I had no idea what to think; had I really allowed myself to fall for Colt without even realizing it? I was hurting inside for what I did, so that had to mean that I had some type of feelings for him, right? Is this one of those moments that refers to the phrase ‘you don’t know what you got until it’s gone’; it sure felt like it.

          I got a total of, hmm let me think, NO sleep that night; the next day at school my only focus was to apologize to Colt. I waited by my locker for him to show up but once he did the look on his face was one of ‘stay the fuck away from me’; it didn’t stop me from at least trying but he wasn’t having any of it. I tried to get his attention but he cut me off after I only got out his name, telling me that he didn’t want to hear what I had to say; that sentence was followed up with him slamming his locker as hard as he could before walking away without another word.

          The whole next week was the same, he avoided me as much as possible and any time I tried to talk to him he gave me the cold shoulder or just simply walked away. I had never felt worse about myself in my whole life; I had always tried to never judge people and always be as nice as I could to people but I just screwed everything up with Colt. I proved him right with what he said about me not being the person that he thought I was, the saddest part is that at the time I didn’t even realize I was doing it; what I would give to just be able to turn back the hands of time, just to go back and do it over again but in a whole different way.