Today I have to babysit little Amanda.

I started babysitting as a job when I was sixteen, so I could start saving some money.

And yes, sometimes, well, rarely, I can act mature and responsible too. Even though the times I've actually been like that can be counted on one hand. But on the hand of someone who's lost at least two fingers.

I go to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Or to empty the cupboard. Depends on your perspective.

I pull out a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Then I open the cupboard and grab a pack of paprika chips.

Uh, but usually, chip bags are made up of eighty percent air, five percent broken and really broken chip crumbs, and finally only fifteen percent actual chips, which are always either too salty or have no salt at all.

After my little reflection, I decide to take two packs of chips, not just one.

In the end, it'll be like I only ate one pack anyway.

Then I grab a pack of cookies too.
But I want to keep fit for swimsuit season, so I decide to also eat some fruit. So I open the fridge and take out some strawberries. And the can of whipped cream to put on top. And from the cupboard, I grab the Nutella to also add to the strawberries.

Eh, I really want to stay in shape.

I put a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and turn around, holding everything, planning to go eat in my room. I'm aware that my mom will kill me for making crumbs she'll then have to clean up, but what can I do if the bed is a hundred, no, a thousand times more comfortable than the couch? Nothing.

Too bad that as soon as I turn around, I bump into someone, and all the food falls to the floor, including the spoon I had in my mouth.

I lower my gaze to the floor and see that the Nutella jar is intact.
My eyes well up, a sign that tears are about to fall.

And I'm about to cry for real.
The glass hasn't broken.
The Nutella is safe.
I've just experienced my first joy in life.
Not even the cookies spilled out of the bag.
The plastic on the ice cream container didn't even crack.
The chip bags didn't explode.
And I swear, I wish I had God in front of me, so I could bow before Him and start kissing His feet, thanking Him for the miracle.

"Don't you think you'll gain weight with all this food?" A voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

And here's my father, the man who was about to commit a huge crime, threatening the life of the poor Nutella.
This is high treason against junk food.
A big, huge, irrecoverable mistake.

I lift my head to look him in the face from my short little world, risking a stiff neck. I look at him defiantly. "Do you have something against delicious food?"

My father sighs. "At this rate, you'll gain weight and stay single forever. Not that I mind, if it were up to me, I'd keep you at home until you're eighty before letting you go on your first date, but I'd like to become a grandfather before I'm too old."

"You're about to become a father for the second time. Be satisfied."

I hear the doorbell ring, and Dad looks at me confused. "Who is it?"

I grin mischievously. "Today I'm babysitting Amanda."

His eyes widen. "That child is the devil."

I see him leave the kitchen, and I follow him, after picking up the food from the floor and putting it on the table.

I watch him in confusion as he puts on his shoes. "Where are you going?"

He looks at me seriously. "To church. I'll see if the priest is free this afternoon. And if he has a cross. I also need to get some holy water. Basically, I'm organizing an exorcism. I just hope that child's head doesn't start spinning like the one in that movie."

My father is slightly terrified of that girl.
Amanda is just lively, not possessed.
At least, I hope.
But if she's taken after her grandmother and soon starts saying she can see ghosts, I'll exorcise her along with my father.

The doorbell rings again, and I hurry to open the door.
It's Mrs. Porter's daughter.

Darn it, I don't remember her name.

She smiles at me. "Thanks for watching little Amanda. My husband's at work, and I need to go to the dentist."

"No problem."

Meanwhile, my father steps out the door. Little Amanda waves at him as soon as she sees him, and Dad turns pale. He forms a cross with his fingers and points it toward the child. "May the Lord free your little body and innocent soul from the presence of the Devil." With that, he literally runs away from the child, heading toward the church.

Mrs. Porter's daughter looks at me, confused. "Is he okay?"

I smile. "He said he saw the ghost of Mike Porter the other day, and he's been losing his mind ever since. He's even seeing a psychologist. My father has also started smoking weed."

Her eyes widen. "He's the third person, after my mom, to say they've seen Mike?"

"Wait, who's the second?"

"Amanda. The other day we showed her a picture of her grandpa Mike, and she said that's the man she talks to every day. We thought she had an imaginary friend. But if your dad saw Mike too, maybe ghosts really do exist."

My smile vanishes.

Amanda saw Mike.
Her dead grandpa Mike.

I nervously glance at Mrs. Porter's daughter. "How about I take your daughter for a little trip to church? You know, just in case the priest can't come to our house this afternoon."

But she just looks at me, confused.

After saying goodbye to her daughter, the woman leaves.

The little girl touches my leg with her hand, and I flinch.

I used to love kids.
Now I just want to hold a cross and a bottle of holy water.
Dad, hurry up, please.

Amanda touches me again. "Grandpa Mike says he wants ice cream. He wants to go to the ice cream shop he always goes to with Grandma. Shall we go?"

"Yes, just a moment."

I go grab my phone and open Amazon. I order two crosses, three bottles of holy water, and then I open Google. I start searching for all the steps of an exorcism and look up the appropriate prayers. Thanks to a website, I even manage to get ordained as a priest in about fifteen minutes.

My father returns home, disheartened by the fact that the priest is on vacation.

Lucky him.

I explain my plan to him, and he agrees with me, so we start practicing exorcising Amanda.

I'm never babysitting again.