The roars of the crowd just outside the thin walls of the tent sends shivers down my spine. I put my hand on the fabric and feel it shake with the vibration of the crowd.

A group of roadies makes their way towards me and I start walking again in the direction I was headed before I got distracted.

Dressing rooms. Right.

After the whole almost burning my kitchen down shenanigans this morning, the band left early to get some press done before the big show tonight. I lift the strap of my bag higher up my shoulder as I look from left to right, trying to figure out where the boys dressing room is. I decide on the left as there is crew buzzing around and cameras flashing on the right which meant the stage was that way.

I try not to get too excited about the date with Luke tonight as I pull my hair back from my neck and tie it up in a ponytail. If I think about it too much, I'll become a nervous wreck before it even happens and we can't have that tonight.

A door to my right opens and a guy steps out, laughing as someone in the room throws a wadded up paper cup at him and he shields himself quickly by closing the door. I take a step back so he doesn't crash right into me as he looks in my direction.

"Sierra?" Ross frowns, the smile on his face gone.

I haven't seen him since Luke beat him to a pulp in Australia. "Hey," I greet awkwardly at him and squeeze the straps of my bag tightly.

Of course, I walk into this situation. Dammit.

Ross stares at me, running a hand through his hair. "Your hair's gotten longer." I fidget.

"Yeah, I grew it out. Look, Sierra, I never apologised for what I did that day. I'm sorry." He looks down at his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I really didn't mean any of that to happen and I really didn't mean any of those things I said to you. I was just being a jealous prick." He looks back at me.

I take a few steps towards him. "I forgive you." I pat him on the arm and he pulls me into a hug.

"Thank you." He whispers and let's go of me.

A door a couple of feet away opens and Montana pops her head out. "Sierra! There you are! Get in here!" She shouts and waves at Ross, disappearing back into the room.

"Have a good show." I wish Ross and step around him.

"It was good seeing you again." He waves.

"You too."

---

Shaking the can of hairspray that is larger than my own head, I spritz Luke's hair while he stares at me through the mirror like he always does.

"You're beautiful." He says with a smile and I scoff. "You're the beautiful one today, I made sure of it."

"I really love this jacket. Thank you." Luke stands up, kissing me hard on the lips.

"My pleasure sir." I pull away from him and give him a once over. I bleached and sprayed a leather jacket over and over with different dark colours for a couple of weeks to get an ombré effect to it. I really had no idea what I was doing until it came out the way it did and I have to say I'm proud of it and the guy wearing it. Things usually work out that way for me, I do things without a plan, following my instinct and fifty percent of the time if the universe feels at peace with me, I will get a good outcome instead of a disastrous one.

"Are you ready for tonight?" He asks, pulling me close by the waist again.

"Sort of. I have no idea what you're doing so..." I trace my finger just under his ear and down his neck because I know it drives him crazy.

"Tempting me won't make me tell you the details." He hums and kisses me one more time before Sammy comes into whisk them away in a hurry.

When the dressing room clears out, I take off my jeans and sweater, pulling on the black dress Montana chose for me last night.

I stuff the clothes I was wearing into the bag and pull my hair out of the ponytail, curling the strands quickly. I won't have time to get ready later and I don't want to miss the bands set either. This is one of the biggest crowds they are playing to, pretty much all of New York City is here tonight.

I do a once over in the long mirror as I hop in one spot, trying to get my heels on without having to sit down.

This is fine. I hope.

Closing the door behind me and shrugging on two layers of coats to shield me from the cold, I make my way backstage where I told Montana I'll meet her. I see the back of Luke's head amidst the crowd and fasten my pace so I can kiss him good luck before he goes on but the host announces their name and the boys climb the stairs and run onto the stage before I can get to them.

The screams get even louder. I had no idea it was possible but it is. I walk to Montana's side and she threads her arm through mine. She says something to me but I don't hear what it is over the music and the fans.

We slowly decide to make our way out of the back area and to the side where we can see the stage clearly and not be seen by much of the crowd either. I watch the band on stage and then the crowd. They sure know how to work the fans, no one's eyes wander anywhere except from member to member, everyone's lips move, singing along with Luke as loud as they can.

Snow falls lightly over the city as the sun goes down and lights start to come on in the buildings rising high above our heads. I raise myself up a little on my toes, trying to figure out where the crowd ends but it's like a vast sea of people.

A girl nearby shrieks loudly and starts waving in our direction, the girls around her realise who we are quickly enough and starts to scream as well, waving furiously and motioning at us.

Montana and I wave back at them and I take a couple of steps towards them before Dave stops me. "I can't let you do that doll face." He puts a hand on my back and turns me away. I shoot an apologetic look towards the fans and blow them kisses before Montana drags me backstage away from the crowds. We head back to the dressing room in silence, my heels already giving me a hard time.

---

We hear the last song play and the goodbyes being made. I pace around the room, my heels off as I wait for Luke to come in. Will he want to head back home to change before we leave?

Montana is sat on the couch watching me pace back and forth, her lips curled into a small smile.

"It's just a date. Why are you so nervous?" She asks finally.

"It's not the date. It's just—I have this feeling. I can't really put my finger on it." I tug at the ends of my hair and wrap my arms around myself as another chill goes down my spine. It's probably nothing.

I really do not want an anxiety attack today.

"Everything will be fine," Monti assures me and hands me her plastic tray of cookies.

"Let's ho—" the door to the dressing room opens and the band walks in, Michael giving Calum a piggy back ride and Ashton drumming the air, sweat flying everywhere as he head bangs.

Some of the crew follow close behind and the room fills up with buzzing excitement in just a couple of seconds. "Sierra, these jeans made me feel like I can take over the world today!" Ashton shouts and kisses me on the cheek, rushing into the toilet before I can answer.

I smile, satisfied with the work we put in. I search the room for Luke but don't see him.

He must have hung back to talk to someone. There is a hell of a lot of celebrities here tonight. I sit down next to Montana and wait for him to show up.

Ten minutes later, Dave comes in announcing that if we wanted to go watch the ball drop, we will have to leave now.

Luke said we aren't going with them so I sit back, unsure what to do.

"He'll be here soon." Montana pats my leg and gives me a side hug before she follows Calum out of the room.

"Ash do you know where Luke went?" I ask before he can leave and I'm all alone in the room again.

"Um, I gave him a piggyback off of stage but he jumped off right outside when he got a call," Ashton recalls and leaves the room, wishing me a good night.

I follow him out and look around. I scan the heads of several people but there is no sign of Luke so I pull out my phone and dial him.

"The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later."

"What the fuck," I mutter to myself and stomp back into the room. He better not be planning something. I text him asking where he is but receive no replies. Watching the clock, I apply some lipstick again, wondering where he disappeared to.

Twenty minutes go by and I decide to go and look for him myself when some of the crew come in to take the bags in the room. "Did you guys see Luke anywhere?"

"I think I saw him on the phone near the exit." One of them offer.

"Okay. Thank you." I walk back and forth between both the exits but see no sign of Luke.

I can't even step outside and check the crowd. If they spot me it will be mayhem.

I dial Luke's number again but the line doesn't go through again.

Maybe he went back home?

I search my purse for my car keys and make my way to the lift to get to the underground car park, keeping an eye out for Luke.

Why would he just disappear without telling me? He could have at least left a message.

I go over our conversation this morning in my head trying to figure out if I missed anything he said.

"So you'll come and get me after the show?"

"That's the plan."

"Where did I park the damn car?" I mumble to myself and look around. I click on the auto locks on my keys but the headlights don't flash anywhere. I try again, walking around in the semi-darkness and clicking my keys at nearby cars.

Was there another level? Maybe there was.

Already feeling a headache taking over, I spin around on my heel to make my way back the way I came but there are sudden footsteps and my eyes take a second to adjust in the dim light as someone rushes into me, knocking me back as everything goes dark.

A/N:

Conspiracy theories are welcome.

Michael Clifford is 20 years old today. My heart hurts very much.