We haven't saved each other yet, we're not done falling apart.
- m.razon

**

The neon lights blink over and around us to the pulse of the music. The DJ at the station is one of the highest paid ones in the country I've been told, the kind of DJ's who can make your heart pound to the beat of the song. Bodies are moving and grinding throughout the club, the smell of sweat and alcohol thick in the air.

Luke has a firm hold on my hand so he doesn't lose me in the crowd. The limo ride couldn't have been more awkward as Addy kept shooting daggers at us with her eyes the whole way here and I had to squeeze Luke's hand every time he opened his mouth to tell her off.

We make our way into the VIP area of the club which is on a raised dais that overlooks the entire area. Luke plops down on the plush red couch, pulling me down next to him. I squeal a little when my dress slides up my legs at the movement and quickly tug it down a little.

"Are you two gonna feel each other up?" Michael asks with a snort, sitting down next to me.

"—because then you could have stayed back at the hotel." He continues with a smirk.

"Really? You should have told us that before." Luke says sarcastically and I give him a look that makes him quiet immediately.

Ashton and Calum come towards us and start to force Luke and Michael off the couch, pushing them towards the bar and a group of men. Luke starts complaining, reaching his hand out towards me but Ashton pulls him away.

I laugh and wave at him as I stand up and walk towards Montana who is already giving in to the beat of the music at the other end of the long bar.

"What was that with Calum at the hotel? What aren't you telling me?" I shout close to her ear so she can hear me through the loud music.

"Nothing." She mouths with a shrug and motions for me to drink when the bartender serves us.

"I'm not drinking," I tell her but she looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Drunk Sierra is the best Sierra. No way am I missing that." She claims. I look over at the band but they're deep in conversation with the men in suits, most probably management as they all look about sixty years old.

"For the hell of three months, we've had." Montana lifts up her glass, urging me to do the same.

I look over at Luke again, wondering if I should really drink. I see him laughing at something the older man is saying, his eyes shining and suddenly, I feel the need of alcohol to burn down my throat.

Three months. It's been three months.

Montana counts to three with a smirk and we chug down our drinks. Another round arrives and I call it this time.

"For Michael," I say and we throw our heads back, draining the glass. I feel as though everyone is staring at us but I close my eyes and the vodka burns down my throat.

"One more please." I signal at the bartender and he nods with amusement.

"For our best-friend who is currently glaring us the fuck down." Montana looks over her shoulder a little and whisper-shouts with a giggle, the alcohol already kicking into her system.

We throw it back one more time, I feel like laughing out loud and storming through the crowd to Luke and wrapping my limbs around him like a child but Montana grabs my hand, getting my attention back.

"This VIP area is for snobs. Let's go have fun with the humans." She pulls me towards the dance floor but comes to an immediate stop in front of Addy who is sipping a martini and looking anywhere but at us.

"We will be drunk as fuck in the next few seconds and we probably won't remember any of this tomorrow, so do you want to come dance with us? You can be mad at us tomorrow." Montana extends her hand out to Addy, her other one holding onto me firmly so I don't fall on my already tipsy face while running away.

Addy takes a moment to contemplate this but takes her hand anyway, standing up. "Okay." She nods and we holler with joy, disappearing into the crowd before my eyes can track down Luke again.

We start to move in sync in the middle of the crowd, I close my eyes and throw my head back, shaking my hair out. It felt good, the beat of the music resonating through all my bones, the blood rushing through my veins and my skin heating up as the alcohol kicks in.

Halfway through our "lesbian dancing" as Troye used to describe it as another couple of girls around us join in and we form a long line of bodies. We throw our arms up in the air and grind our backs into each other.

"They're watching." Montana leans back into me and shouts in my ear with an airy laugh. When I look back to where we left the band I see Luke standing there motionless, flagged by a very shocked Calum and Ashton. Michael is sitting on the couch with a drink and a girl on his lap, grinning at the scene in front of him from ear to ear.

"Uh oh." Montana laughs as Luke starts to move like a predator towards us. The loud music blurs out in my head but still beats through me, my head is dizzy with the alcohol and I can't decipher what is about to happen but my feet refuse to move towards him as I dip down and rise back up.

I watch breathlessly while his arm reaches towards me and gently but firmly pulls me out of the line of girls. "You're doing this on purpose." He says in my ear like his supply of air has been cut off. I'm in the circle of his arms, the dancing bodies outside of it lost to me. The warmth of him pressed against me makes me feel giddy and I run my hands up his chest and around his shoulders, wrapping them around his neck.

Luke's lips land on mine with such ferocity that I feel like I'm lighting up from the inside. His arms pull me closer into his body and I melt into him, my lips moving without my control, completely in sync with his perfect ones while people continue to dance in the dark around us.

"You drive me crazy." He breathes into my mouth, I can't hear him but I feel the words form on his lips through mine, kind of like brail in the form of a kiss.

His arms are the only things that are holding me up. My limbs are failing me, again.

"So do you," I say and he chuckles, running his nose up and down the side of my neck. 

The music turns off suddenly and the DJ clears his throat through the groans and complaints of the crowd. "What's going on?" I ask Luke and he looks down at me, his eyes a little dazed. "Watch." He says breathlessly from our kiss and turns me around in his arms.

"We have a birthday boy in here tonight. This is for you, bro." The DJ announces as an acrobat starts to descend, hanging only a few inches above the crowd. The crowd goes quiet with awe as she starts to perform. A shudder runs down my body when Luke gives me a kiss just under my ear. 

I'm so enthralled by the acrobat spinning on the loop and the lingering feeling of Luke's kisses that I forget where I am for a second. I lean my head back and whisper to Luke. "I really love having you as a significant other."

His smile manages to mesmerise me way more than the Acrobat ever could. "Me too." He kisses me on the lips again and I feel the familiar fire that only he can ignite inside me.

I force myself to pull away from the kiss as hoots go up when the acrobat jumps into the crowd from her ring, landing neatly on her feet with her arms in the air and her bodysuit shining like a beacon.

She disappears into the crowd but then we hear people behind us gasp with surprise, I turn in Luke's arms, looking over his shoulder, the same Acrobat shows up behind Michael with a birthday cake, firecrackers going off on top of it. The crowd in the club screams with joy and amazement.

"Twins," Luke says in my ear, proudly.

"You did this?" I ask him.

"We did it. But yes, the twins are friends of mine." He says and we ascend the steps as Michael gets ready to cut the cake. He looks a bit overwhelmed but happy.

Luke goes up to Michael when I push him forwards, reluctantly letting go of me. I miss his warmth almost immediately but I watch the scene unfold in front of me with more joy than I have ever felt before.

Addy comes to stand on my other side as Michael cuts into his second birthday cake of the day.

"You know you're my best friend. You always have been and you always will be. I love you. I just need you to give me time, please." Addy says, tears glossing her eyes. I almost don't hear her through the roar of the crowd.

She turns on her heel and walks away towards Ashton before I could reply and I watch as he happily hugs her to his side and kisses her forehead.

Give me more time

"Okay," I whisper into the air.

---

I'm sat next to Montana on one of the stools while we sip from the champagne flutes that were passed around, wondering where Luke disappeared to again.

"She needs more time for what?" Montana slurs. Calum makes his way to her, excusing himself from the group of friends. He spins her stool around and parts her legs so he can stand between them. I look away with a giggle and check my phone for any texts, giving them privacy.

"Stop it Calum." Montana groans angrily.

"Are you drunk?" He asks her worriedly.

"So what? Not like you give a fuck." She snaps.

"Babe, you can't do this to me all night. I get it okay? You hate me, I get it. But you need to let me take care—"

His sentence gets cut off by a girl that shrieks out Calum's name. I look up from my phone to see a girl in a sequined red dress, gaping at Calum.

"Tara?" He says with a grin and turns away from Montana to hug the girl. She drapes herself all over him, eyeing Montana over his shoulder. I don't need to look over at my best friend to know that her eyes are probably rolled back all the way into her head.

"Tara, this is my girlfriend, Montana. Monti, this is Tara an old friend of mine." Calum introduces the blonde girl. Montana fakes a smile as Tara squeezes her in a hug excitedly.

"—and this is Sierra." Calum introduces me and I offer her a friendly hug to make up for Montana's lack of one. Tara chatters away excitedly and Calum listens but Montana is pissed off I can tell. She gulps down the rest of her drink, throwing her head back.

"Let me get you a drink." Calum offers Tara, friendly as ever but Montana fumes a bit more at this and stands up from her seat at the bar.

"Let's go dance." I offer but she ignores me, looking around at the other people seated at the bar.

She signals for me to stay where I am and stumbles towards a guy seated a bit further away from us. She sits down on the stool next to him and I see her flirty face turn on like a flipped switch. I watch as she engages with the guy, my levels of amusement rising while looking back and forth between Calum and her. Calum is oblivious to what she's doing as he laughs loudly at something Tara says.

"Shit. Shit." I mutter under my breath repeatedly when I see the guy get closer to Monti. Before I can interfere and drag her out of there, Luke appears in front of me. His leather jacket is nowhere in sight and the buttons of his white shirt are undone at the top, the long sleeves pushed back to his elbows.

I groan loudly unable to stop myself and he grins at my flustered expression, his blonde hair is tousled and sweaty from the heat in the club.

"How drunk are you?" He asks, kissing me and I revel in the taste of his lips.

"A lot actually." I giggle. He parts my legs and presses forward, causing my dress to ride up all the way and bunch at my hips. If Luke wasn't standing in front of me, I would be flashing the entire club.

"I like drunk Sierra." He murmurs, running his hands up and down my bare thighs, goosebumps start to rise on the path his hands leave.

"So I've been told." I manage to reply, pulling him as close as he can get with me seated on the stool.

"What the fuck?" Calum says suddenly and I land back down on earth painfully, our personal heated bubble crashing like broken glass around us. It's scary how Luke makes me forget things in the span of a few seconds.

Luke lets out a groan, asking Calum to shut up followed by quite a lot of profanity. I nudge him away a little, trying to see what Calum was seeing. Luke looks down at me worriedly. "What is it?" 

I nod my head in Montana's direction. She is dancing with the guy she was talking to earlier, staring right at Calum over his shoulder.

"No, Monti," I say silently. Why was she trying to piss him off?

Calum takes a step towards them, a murderous look on his face. Luke puts his arm out to stop him "Remember the last time you hit someone in a club?" He tries to warn but Calum doesn't process any of it.

The music changes into a more upbeat tune and the club goes up in cheers. We watch as Montana let's go of the guy and gets him to give her a boost onto the bar table. The bartender clears the glasses off the table for her as she gets on top of it and starts dancing. Hoots and yells go up as she winks down at the guy who is looking up at her with an open mouth. She moves her hips from side to side and runs her hands up her body and through her sweaty hair. I would usually be worried that she would fall off the table and hurt herself but I'm too drunk so I giggle at her teasing instead, earning a perfect eyebrow raise from Luke.

She takes off her heels and throws it in my general direction because she knows I got her back even when she's going crazy. Luke ducks a little as it hits the floor near us, this makes him let go of Calum who takes the chance to storm through the crowd of people gathering around to cheer her on, a couple of more girls have now got on top of the bar to dance with her.

"Don't you dare get up there too." Luke murmurs from next to me and I hold up Montana's heels with a shrug.

"I'm too drunk to climb up there or you wouldn't have been able to stop me." I slur and he wraps his arm around me protectively anyway.

Calum is shouting up at Montana angrily with his hands on his hips but we can't hear what he's saying. Montana ignores him and keeps dancing, giggling and enjoying herself.

"I've known him for five years and he has never looked at anyone like that. He really loves her." A voice says from my other side, I turn to see Tara taking in the scene in front of her.

Calum has finally had enough of her teasing because he puts his arms around Montana's legs and pulls her off the bar, throwing her body over his shoulder. She kicks and yells and bangs on his back with her fists. He pushes at the chest of the guy she was dancing with before and growls something at him. The guy puts his hands up and backs away slowly.

Calum storms past us and in the direction of an exit before we can stop him, Montana still thrown over his back and protesting. "Sierra!" She shouts and I grab my clutch, about to follow them.

"Let them go. He's not gonna hurt her." Luke says and I look at him like he's crazy.

"She doesn't want to go with him," I argue, Calum was obviously pissed off.

"Baby, look at me," Luke turns my face to look at him. "He's not gonna hurt her. If anything it'll be the complete opposite." He smirks and it all clicks into place, bells going off in my head.

"Oh. Ohhh." I become aware of what he means all of a sudden and he kisses me on the lips again, pleased with himself. The world dissolving around us once again. 

---

Luke's Point Of View

Sierra is fast asleep on my lap. She was busy kissing my neck while straddling me on the bed but went silent a minute later, her head falling onto my shoulder.

I am going to have to lay in a tub of ice to get over what she was doing to me tonight in this dress.

I push her brown hair back out of her face so I can see her. She looks so peaceful in her sleep I have never seen it in anyone. I want to lay her down on the bed and take her dress off so she can sleep in a more comfortable way but I can't let go.

I position her body in my arms so I can cradle her close, her scent and warmth making my head dizzy, mixed with the alcohol in my system.

The number of things I wanted to do to this girl tonight... I was wild for many moments through the night but I would never let our first time be wasted on careless drunk moments. I've had many of those before and I don't want to make those same mistakes with her.

She snuggles closer to my neck like she couldn't get close enough to me.

"My sweet girl..." I whisper and my heart swells in my chest like it hasn't for anyone in a very long time. Her touch unlocks memories I've kept hidden, parts of who I was before the darkness sucked me in.

Good things. Forgiveness.

I slowly manage to slip off the remaining deathly looking shoe on her right leg without waking her up and move us backwards so I'm against the headboard and can support her better.

Just having her in my arms was better than any other form of pleasure I could ever ask for.

"I lov...hmm." She murmurs quietly and my vision blurs. I kiss her forehead, convinced to never lose the feeling of her soft skin against mine.