Rachel calmly places her tea cup down and just openly gapes at her sister in law.

"His full name wasn't even Sebastian Smythe??"

Shannon just looks at her confused.

"I tell you this big elaborate story about how he was married with kids, stringing me along, dropped a divorce bombshell on me AND seduced me all over again.  Yet all you can do is latch on to the fact that his full name is actually Bartholomew Henry Sebastian Antoine Smythe-Allen. Really Rach?? Really??"

Rachel just shrugs.

"Shann, I spend most of my day with a newborn and then cater to two three year olds after they get home.  Noah's been away for months.  This is far more entertaining than any soap opera I could be watching right now."

Shannon sighs, rubbing her temples lightly.

"I'm glad YOU'RE entertained by this Rach.  But frankly I'm FREAKING OUT.  For YEARS Bas had been my world.  I broke inside when he and Iris got married but I hid it from everyone, especially you and Noah.  I didn't want to hear him gloating.  You know he never, EVER liked Bastian.  I just didn't want to hear it.  And now......  I basically slept with a married man, and I wanted to. I still want to. I love him Rachie. And I just don't know what's real anymore."

Rachel reaches over to grasp her sister-in law's hand, holding it gently.

"I know Shann, I know.  Love is crazy sometimes."

•••••••••••••

Thank goodness for his superspeed, its the only thing that allows Barry to reach the house before any of the children wake up.  He creeps in the front door, prepared to make everyone in the house his patented Gingerbread Pancakes with Cream Cheese Drizzle for Christmas morning. 

Unbeknownst to everyone in the West family but Iris, he started to quietly move out of their house as soon as he returned to Central City from the hotel room in Westerville.

The divorce will be final as soon as January 1st hits. And honestly, after fully confronting his feelings for Shannon, he just can't stay there anymore. His new apartment may be small, but at least it's his.

His own space to be away from it all.

The platter of pancakes are set on the table next to trays of crisp bacon, homemade pumpkin spiced sausages and sautéed potatoes. Barry turns back to make the pots of coffee and hot chocolate for the children when he hears the soft footsteps behind him.

He plasters his best fake smile on his face as he spins back around, at normal speed this time.

"Merry Chrismas Daddy...."

Little Caleb is dragging his blanket behind him as he greets his father with his thumb still firmly planted in his mouth.

"Merry Christmas Baby."

•••••••••••••

Poke....

Poke, poke....

Poke, poke, poke.... giggle, giggle, giggle...

Shannon slowly wakes up to the sound of giggles and tiny fingers poking her in her cheeks. Two sets of big brown eyes meet hers, only inches away from her face.

"Uppies Aunt Shanny!!"

"Wakey-uppies!!! Christmas!!! Christmas!!"

Shannon sighs as she wraps Barbara Maria and Jonah Axle in her arms, attempting to pull them down to go back to sleep with her. But both of the twins start giggling again. Wiggling out of her grasp, slidding off her bed and back down to the floor.

They break into a run the second their feet hit the wooden planks.  Giggles following them along the way.

Shannon shakes her head as she slowly pulls herself out of bed.  Her and Noah grew up Jewish, but as mainly non-practicing Jews.  Years with Sebastian and college had her at least celebrating the gift giving aspect of Christmas, if not the religious parts.  Noah and Rachel must have started doing it too, for the kids.

This year, after the disastrous STAR Labs holiday party with the confessions of the dissolution of the West-Allen marriage, she just isn't feeling much in the spirit.

Slipping on her fuzzy slippers and covering her pajamas with her satin robe, Shannon lets the smell of coffee wafting up the stairs lead her down to where the rest of her family is. All as memories of past Christmas mornings float through her mind.

Peppermint Hot Chocolates.

Gingerbread Pancakes with Cream Cheese Drizzles.

And longing looks from a striking green eyed man.

•••••••••••••

Barry's patience is waning by the time the children have finished opening up their presents. The house, his former house, had far too many people in it. Joe and Cecille are helping the twins put batteries in their noisy toys. Iris and Wally are off in the kitchen doing goodness knows what. At least she's off his case for now.

He smiles sadly as he watches Caleb struggle to climb up on the couch, Jenna helping him up and starting to read to him.

These people are his family, or more Barry Allen's family. But he's not Barry Allen. He's Bartholomew Henry Sebastian Antoine Smythe-Allen. Or at least he used to be.

He wishes he still was. And aches for the one person who knew him best then. Fingers typing out a quick message on his phone before anyone else notices.

•••••••••••••

Shannon smiles sadly as she watches Rachel and her brother Noah dote over the three year old twins. Barbara and Jonah are both so eager to show their father the gifts they received.

He has missed so much but her brother finally came home for good, or so he told her, this past weekend. It's bittersweet, especially since she's only staying with them at the house until she can move into her teacher housing at Dalton once the January term starts.

Shannon sighs wearily, watching the happiness around her when she feels her phone vibrating in the pocket of her robe. Pulling it out to read the message that makes her smile but also her heart shatter to pieces at the same time.

From Barry...

From HER Sebastian.

'Joyeux Noël, mon chéri. Je souhaite plus que tout ce que je pourrais être avec vous aujourd'hui.'
(Merry Christmas, darling. I wish more than anything I could be with you today.)

Shannon whispers more to herself than anything.

"I miss you too Bastian. I miss you so much."